FlyingLotus

There has absolutely been new books added since 2019. A lot on pg 2 and in the science section. There's probably another update forthcoming, but I have no idea when.

The Goodreads version is version 1, not version 2.

@eliasvelez You may want to check out Healthy Gamer's coaching program. Their channel and Dr.K is awesome. He's a Stage Yellow-Turquoise addiction therapist from Harvard. He has a coaching program that's very affordable. 40$ USD for 50 mins. They also have group coaching for $24 per 90 mins. You can get a sense of what his approach is like ahead of time by watching his channel. Healthy Gamer gg. It's tough finding a good coach or therapist. A lot of them will charge 3 figures an hour and don't even know what they're doing. If I'm paying someone that much money they better know what they're doing or be giving me a back massage !

I'd say that seeing one high quality coach more frequently is better. They can get to know your life and situation better if you see them more often. You can always get different perspectives from books, meditation, self-inquiry, videos and other personal development stuff.

How come there's a 48 hr window to edit posts but there's no time limit to hide posts? Editing posts seems more practical than deleting them.

Hey man, don’t kink shame people's Pornhub searches… ? So, one of the steps feels like watching the old Ghostbusters movie?

Your story’s super interesting and inspiring. I’d write it down in detail, everything you did to get from where you were, to where you are now, and where you’re headed. Also, there’s not much dating advice with a LGBTQ angle compared to advice from a heterosexual pov. You don’t have to make that your whole business, but you could totally let that unique angle inform your LP and distinguish yourself in the marketplace. That's super cute ?. That line requires a lot of fun and confidence to pull off, of course.

Because they're constantly craving carbs .

(Juan Cruz Giusto & TimStr wrote summaries for this episode. I combined them and added more stuff from the episode.) 251. Summary: A Three Step Formula To Be Ruthlessly Effective At Anything -This three step formula can make you world class at anything you commit yourself to (business, school, music, art, sports, meditation, relationships, sexuality, and so forth.) Find one super effective tactic and exploit it! That’s it! 1) Find and Set an Intention Set a deliberate, clear intention for what you want to be ruthlessly effective at. Select your domain. Be specific. What do you want exactly? Why do you want it? Make sure your goal is important to you. (ep: Set S.M.A.R.T. goals [14 mins]) “I’m gonna be ruthlessly effective at ___________. I'm really serious about this. This is my mission! This is what I've set out to do!!” 2) Find a High-Yield Technique A high-yield technique is one that’s been proven to work by generating tangible results for you. Ideally it should yield a disproportionate amount of tangible results. This step does much of the heavy lifting in this formula. eg: Cutting 300 calories a day to lose weight is one tactic, but cutting 300 calories from sugar creates disproportionate results. Pareto’s principle. “But Leo, how do I find one of these high yield techniques?” Fortunately, you don't have to invent any brilliant, genius techniques. Keep your intention clear, strong and at the forefront of your mind. Eventually various techniques will naturally cross your path, some through research, some through trial and error, some through sheer luck. Do your research, talk to people. Collect different techniques and ideas. Sample them and see which tactic jumps out at you. You just have to stay vigilant, so when a high-yield technique comes your way you’ll recognize it and remember it. eg: Leo discovered this formula while studying enlightenment. He was researching a ton of meditation and self-inquiry techniques, reading lots of books, going to workshops and asking people questions. He read about one particular technique that worked really well. He sat down, tried it, and his mind just locked in on it. He could see it was a high yield technique just by doing it for an hour. eg: Corn farming tactics. You could try buying a new plot of land. You could try a new strain of corn that grows bigger? You could change the fertilizer for your corn? Or water your plants on a different schedule? Get a new sprinkler system? Hire a corn specialist to help you? Trade in your last cow for some magic beans? Once you’ve decided on a high-yield technique, convert it into a daily habit. 3) Make It a Habit Making the high-yield technique a habit creates a multiplicative effect. Practicing everyday will make exponential growth happen over months and years. You can practice a technique for 30 to 60 mins a day. However, if you can only do 5 to 10 minutes a day that could be enough, because that practice will accumulate over time (depending on what you’re trying to master.) Planning Out Your Daily Habit Decide exactly when in your day you're going to do it. How it's going to happen. Make a 100% commitment, no exceptions, no excuses. Recognize the huge pay off you’ll get by staying consistent and carrying this through, everyday, over months and years. Tips on High-Yield Techniques -You have to sample a bunch of techniques to get an intuitive feel for what clicks. -Magic pills don't exist. Most people expect to find one technique that will solve all their problems very quickly. If such a tactic existed, you’d already know about it. -High yield techniques give you incremental increases, but are still extremely powerful when multiplied by time. High yield means it's relatively high yield. In absolute terms it might only give you, say, a 1% increase in your sales or sense of humour. But that 1% multiplied over a year, or several years, adds up to a lot. -High yield techniques are often deceptively simple. They're so simple they get dismissed and overlooked! Professional boxers often hold dumbbells while practicing their punches. Magnus Carlson practiced chess on computer, allowing him to play way more practice matches than Grandmasters in previous generations. Oprah started public speaking at the age of 3 by being the cute kid who preached in church. John Wooden, Hall of Fame basketball coach, would spend the first practice teaching future NBA superstars how to put on their socks. He had to do this because players would often hurt their feet because of improper sock placement! -Most people come across many high-yield techniques, but they don’t understand the significance of what they've found. They also don't know how to follow through with this three step formula. They don't take it seriously and they wonder why their life is lacklustre. Examples of Applying This Formula Developing a Good Sense of Humour 1) Set the Intention: “I’m going to be great at making people laugh.” 2) Find a High-Yield Technique: Leo’s episode “How To Be Funny” has a visualization technique in it that will make you funnier. Also, there are lots of great books on joke writing. The Comedy Bible by Judy Carter is great. Same with The Comic Toolbox by John Vorhaus. 3) Make it a Habit: Commit to doing the visualization in Leo’s video everyday, no excuses. Or, commit to carrying a notebook that you collect ideas in. Then, at the end of the day, read through the notebook and write jokes for 30 minutes. Business 1) Set the Intention: “I’m going to be great at marketing my business.” 2) Find a High-Yield Technique: Let's say your research leads you to revamping your newsletter. 3) Make it a Habit: Now, every single day, 100% commitment with no excuses. First thing in the morning, you spend 60 minutes writing copy for your newsletter. Then you add that to your autoresponder and see how people react to it. Does it increase sales? Do you need to adjust things to make it more appealing? Do that every single day, for the next six months and then watch what happens to your sales. eg: Entrepreneur Ramit Sethi did some market research for piano teachers. He discovered that sales could be increased by marketing to Asian and Jewish moms who thought piano lessons would help their kids get into Harvard. Romantic Relationships 1) Set the Intention: “I want a more loving relationship with my partner.” 2) Find a High-Yield Technique: After researching books and videos, let’s say you’ve decided that, everyday, you’ll find three things you appreciate about your partner and tell it to her. 3) Make it a Habit: Commit 100%, everyday. No excuses. Plan when and where you’ll do it. During your lunch break? In the afternoon or evening? What will you say? Figure out if you have any reservations about expressing your appreciation and why. Do you need to improve your communication skills? Plan out the logistics, then do it. You’ll see big results if you multiply that out by three, six or twelve months. Studying for School 1) Set the Intention: “I want to make the honor roll and get into medical school.” 2) Find a High-Yield Technique: A good one is to read your textbook every day and take notes on what you've read (especially before lecture). It’s super simple, but if you do that everyday you're going to become a rock star student. Being effective at school is actually pretty simple. There are many, many techniques: Developing a super powered memory and becoming a super-learner. Jim Kwik’s book “Limitless” is great. Same with Harry Lorayne’s books. Teaching what you’ve learned to someone else. That forces you to understand the material and will also uncover gaps in your knowledge. 3) Make it a Habit: Commit to your new habit, no excuses, everyday, until you crush final exams and become a doctor. Increasing Confidence 1) Set the Intention: “I want to radiate confidence and presence.” 2) Find a High-Yield Technique: Let’s say you’ve done some research, and you want to get good at holding strong eye contact with people. You try it out and notice, “when I actually hold eye contact with the waitress, I feel more confident.” That tells you this technique is actually producing some results. 3) Make it a Habit: Commit to doing it everyday, with every interaction (cashiers, servers, co-workers, friends, family, etc.) Over three, six, twelve months, you’ll see how far you’ve developed the habit and ease of holding strong eye contact and being confident. Losing Weight and Becoming Healthier 1) Set the Intention: “I’m going to nourish my body and optimize my health.” 2) Find a High-Yield Technique: Having Leo’s “Actualized Soup” for lunch everyday. Replacing ⅓ of my meals with veggie soup, basically. 3) Make it a Habit: I’ll cook the soup on Sunday while listening to some podcasts. I’ll divide the soup into seven glass containers for the week. If I’m having a super busy week, I’ll make a “lazy” version of the soup that’s less tasty, but just as nutritious. (This actually helps you lose weight by the way. You can make a decadent soup for maximum taste, or a lazy version if you're busy. Just buy frozen stir-fry veggies, chop them up, buy pre-made organic broth, toss it all together with spices, salt, meat, boil until veggies are cooked, and you have lazy veggie soup for the week! Easy and nutritious!) Deliberate Practice This formula works because it leverages deliberate practice. Regular practice tends to be mindless repetition. Deliberate practice requires focused attention and is conducted with the specific goal of improving performance. With deliberate practice, you break the overall process down into parts, identify your weaknesses, test new strategies for each section, and then integrate your learning into the overall process. Deliberate practice is integral to attaining world-class mastery in any field. Every world-class performer does this. In a study of figure skaters, medium level performers spent more time practicing moves they were already good at. Top performers spent more time mastering unfamiliar, difficult moves and falling on their ass. Chris Rock practices jokes away from his usual fans, like in front of retirees in Florida. He’ll also read his jokes without inflection, to see if audiences respond to the content of his writing, and not just his well honed comedic charisma. Watch Eminem challenge himself by rhyming with orange. -Actualized.org presents a lot of high-yield techniques. So, you can’t use the excuse that you’re lacking high yield techniques. Master the Inner Game of Money Stop Caring What People Think of You Clean Up Your Meanings and Mental Filters Clean Up How You Interpret Reality Make People Laugh Master Your Emotions Go From Victim to Victor Have a Great Relationship Accept Yourself Realize Who’s Actually God How to Not Be Lonely When You’re Alone Stop Being an Asshole Forgive Assholes Turn Your GF into a Water Pistol -The best techniques are oftentimes very innocent looking. Profound, impactful techniques can look so darn simple that you’d never expect them to yield a $10 million business, or show you enlightenment, or help you create an amazing marriage, etc. -Success often comes from very simple habits, done over and over again, consistently, with deliberate intention and 100 percent commitment. -So, recognize the significance of this formula and high yield techniques. Start to see how big of an impact this could have on the quality of your life, over five, ten, twenty years. It’s the difference between a crappy life, a mediocre life and an absolutely extraordinary life that you love and that other people couldn't even dream of. -Warning!! The world is hell-bent on distracting you and knocking you off the path. We live in a distraction oriented culture. Focus is required at every step of the way. 1) Set and keep your intention. Notice that you have to both set and keep your intention. That means you don't just set your intention once and forget about it. It means that every single day you set and recommit to your intention. “I want to be great at cultivating deep, loving relationships.” “I want to have a sharp memory and be a super-learner.” “I want to get into law school and become a human rights attorney for the United Nations.” Check out Leo’s episode on S.M.A.R.T. goals. (Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Realistic. Time Sensitive.) Another one on Setting Powerful Goals 2) Remember that high yield techniques are out there. Just stay open and vigilant to new techniques that cross your path. 3) Turn it into a habit. Plan out the habit, create it and follow through on that habit, every single day, without fail. That will require tons of focus, because you're going to get distracted by video games, Netflix marathons, good food, good relationships, bad relationships, work, family, health concerns, life crises, the Actualized.org forum, etc. -So maintain your focus. Keep your intention. Write it on your bathroom mirror. Stay grounded in your vision, and trust that if you apply all this, you're going to get amazing results.

Poor Stage Purple, all the way on page 11!! I saw a thread debating this, but the Borg are definitely Purple. They’re all about strengthening the collective or the tribe. Locutus of Borg is also Purple. Also, Blue uses morality to curb the ruthlessness of Red, which the Borg don't do at all. However, the Borg Queen is Stage Red. Borg babies are Beige and Stage cute-sad.

@Dazgwny Thanks for sharing all that. Taking Huperzine A before you sleep helps a lot too. Although you can't take it everyday because your body will adapt.

Good video. Thanks for sharing! Understanding Determinism helps you channel your efforts into that which you can control, so you’re not blaming yourself for things you truly have no control over. The shoulda, woulda, couldas in life. Comparing yourself to others unfairly. Overlooking the differences between your starting points. Self forgiveness, forgiving others because they were acting out of their wounds and past programming. Having empathy for those who didn't have it as good. That whole "learning to sail your ship instead of trying to control the ocean" stuff. Stoicism is pretty much the Serenity prayer on steroids: God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

You're very welcome . Tim Ferriss has an interview with Richard Schwartz where Schwartz takes does an IFS session on him. It's a good listen you may want to check out. I've had problems with depression and being passionate. Finding out that depression is an overactive survival strategy trying to be helpful, instead of just a feeling or a failure, was a game changer for my personal development.

I had a feeling you were #TeamIronMan ! This is Absolute Goodness ...

How very wise and magnanimous of you. Explains why you only shoot videos from the shoulders up .

Pics or it never happened ?

He's great. I like all his books. He's not afraid to offer unconventional, counter-intuitive advice that's different from most self-help teachers. His youtube channel's great too.

Haha!!

Lol ? Aurum has good suggestions. Adding my two cents, I have no idea what your family life was like, so I’m making some huge assumptions that might be totally inaccurate. Neglect is pretty common is rich families. Depression’s also a common symptom of neglect in childhood. It sounds like your situation might have shades of depression. Depression isn’t just a feeling. It’s a survival strategy people adopt in situations where their needs were being neglected. This is common with wealthy, workaholic or even narcissistic parents (and non-wealthy parents of course). As a kid it was useful, but it’s no longer serving you as an adult. Having a part of you that’s depressed and numbing out your joy doesn’t necessarily mean you have full blown depression. Everybody has a depressed part, it just could be overactive. This video explains it really well: Depression IFS Richard Schwartz. Since you’re rich and can afford therapy and books I’m going to recommend some! IFS is awesome because you can talk to and heal the part of you that’s depressing your joy and passion, so that you feel alive again. This book’s a good starter, it even has a section on the depressed part. Freedom from Your Inner Critic: A Self-Therapy Approach by Jay Earley. Derek Scott's youtube channel has good stuff too. Shadow work, a good therapist, IFS, Parts work are all good for talking to that depressed part and healing it so you can turbo charge your passion and joy. A personal trainer or fitness routine. Good quality sleep. A super healthy, organic, GMO free, whole foods, etc, etc, diet. Personal development retreats could be good. Hoffman process is one. There are others you can research. If you use gaming to an unhealthy degree the “Healthy Gamer gg” channel on youtube has excellent mental health content. Actually, its content is generally awesome, not just for gamers. They have a coaching program that you may want to sign up for. Leo’s Life Purpose Course and Book List are fantastic resources. If the content in Leo’s course was featured on Mindvalley they’d charge 5x as much, although the videos would have koi ponds, trees, bird sounds and statues in the background . Also, if you feel guilt or even shame about being wealthy you shouldn't, for a lot of reasons. 1) Everybody has strengths and weaknesses. You probably wouldn't feel guilty if you were awesome at math, or could jump unusually high. The way I see it, God gives you gifts so you can use them to help others. This video by Teal Swan articulates this well: humility. Of course, misusing gifts to hurt people selfishly is destructive, but having gifts in and of themselves isn't necessarily destructive. 2) The biggest OP starting point in life isn't extreme wealth, it's having wise, smart, healthy nurturing parents. So the belief that you "had it so good" isn't entirely justified. I overheard a famous celebrity (that everyone knows) complaining on the phone about their 11 year old son who was having a tantrum at the airport because the kid had to fly first class commercial instead of the usual private jet. I honestly felt really bad for that kid and how he was being raised, despite how wealthy he was. Personally, I don't envy the wealthy neglected kid who got a Maserati but no love. I "envy" the people who had nurturing, wise, loving parents who encouraged their dreams, taught them discipline and self-efficacy, surrounded them with interesting, caring people, who contribute to the world and are passionately engage with life. Even if that family has less financial means, they also have the inner resources to create a life of love and meaning, with a comfortable amount of financial security. So don't feel guilty because you "had it so good." Guilt and shame are wasted emotions and should be processed through personal development work. Teal Swan also had good vids on guilt and shame. 3) Value is relative. Being rich isn't "bad." Leo's episode on that is great. 4) I know there's the ultimate metaphysical perspective that we're all one and love and there's no good and bad ultimately, but that's not the question you were asking so I didn't go into that ?. To me, your question has more to do with relative truth than absolute truth.

@peqkno Great job!!!

(A super important foundational episode that needed a thorough summary. It’s so important I typed a swear word, which I try not to do! Timestamps come from Omkar Parab on YouTube ) 161. Summary: How To Stop Being A Victim - The #1 Reason You Are Stuck In Life -This is one of the most important, foundational episodes on Actualized.org. It’s so important Leo reshot it 5 times! This video has the potential to transform people’s lives if they just listen to it. (The second part to this episode is How To Stop Being A Victim - Part 2. Summary to episode can be found here.) -So many people are not getting the results they want in life because they are playing the Victim. They aren't taking responsibility for their life, so they don’t have a strong foundation from which to do personal development. -If you’re stuck in your life, if you feel like you haven’t been getting the results you wanted, if you feel frustrated in any area of your life, you’re probably being a Victim. You need to stop it. You need to take back control of your life. -It’s tricky because when you’re a Victim, you don’t realize you’re thinking and behaving that way. That’s what’s so dangerous and crippling about Victim mentality. You will not get anywhere in life if you keep thinking like a Victim. -You can talk to a Victim, or read their comments online, and they’ll have Victim energy pouring out of them. When you try to help a Victim, they just pile on story after story of excuses, blaming and complaining. -It’s really dangerous because Victim thinking is a self-fulfilling prophesy. It stops you from moving forward and taking the necessary actions to get results. The worst thing is Victims really believe they’re stuck, when the only thing keeping them stuck is their own thinking. What We Mean By ‘Victim” -What is a Victim? A Victim is somebody who gives away control. When we say, “he’s been Victimized” what does that mean? It means that something happened to him against his will. He had no control over the situation and no ability to respond to it. It just happened, and now he has to suffer through it, without any options. That’s just the cards he was dealt. The foundation of all personal development is to believe you have the power and ability to create any kind of life you desire. Now, this might sound nice on paper, in reality, it’s a challenge. It’s hard to live and embody this principle. -Also, this video isn’t just for people who are total Victims. If you’re frustrated in any area of your life, no matter how small, the reason you’re not getting the results you want is because you have Victim thinking. If not across your entire life, then in a specific area of your life. That is something that needs to be worked out. -Even if you’ve done years of personal development and you’ve exorcised a lot of demons from your psyche, you can still that Victim energy in pinpointed areas. You need to always be on the lookout for Victim energy, so you can pull it out by the root. That’s what this episode’s encouraging you to do. -Taking one hundred percent responsibility for your life is the foundation of all personal development. 100%. That’s difficult to hear, but it will revolutionize your life if you heed it. The Fundamental Question -Who do you think is ultimately responsible for the quality of your life? (6:45) Is it your parents? Is it your family? Is it your environment? Is it your friends? Is it your co-workers? Is it your boss? Is it your husband or your wife or your kids? Is it that girlfriend or boyfriend that you’ve got? Is it your genetics? Is it your own history? Is it how you were raised? Is it the economy? Is it the country you grew up in? Is it the political climate that you’re living under? Is it the media? Is it society? Is it entertainment? Is it Hollywood? Is it the news? What is responsible for the quality of your life? Who is responsible for the quality of your life? -If you answer anything but ‘ME,’ you’re thinking like a victim, and you’re going to get the results that a victim gets, which are pretty bad. -To create the kind of life you want, you’ll have to accept something you don’t want to accept, you’ll have to do something radical that you don’t want to do. You will have to take complete, utter, 100% responsibility for everything in your life that ever happens. That means that all those other factors won’t be used as excuses, stories, obstacles or as any kind of justification to stop from becoming a powerful creator. -There are six areas that you need to take 100% responsibility in: success, failure, emotions, accidents, circumstances, relationships. Success And Failure -Taking responsibility for your own success is pretty easy (9:40). A promotion, a great relationships, impressive well behaved children (chips off the old block, after all). You worked really hard for that career. You developed great social skills to attract that hottie. You make sure to spend quality time with your kids. (Actually, some people don’t take enough responsibility or credit for their success. Maybe they’re scared of being seen as arrogant, maybe they were shamed for outshining others, so that could be happening too. If it is, you need to explore that. Refusing to take ownership of your success is destructive to your self-esteem. Teal Swan has great videos about Humility and Self-Hate as coping mechanisms.) -What’s the hard thing to take responsibility for? Your failures. What about all the situations where you’re not getting the results you want in your life? Like the 10 lbs you can’t lose, the immature guys you keep dating, the money you can’t save. What about the negative thinking that’s going on all the time in your head, the worrying, the anxiety, the fears? Something’s not working there. Failures and failures happen, but a Victim will blame others and situations for those failures rather than take responsibility. Emotions -Taking responsibility for your emotions is huge, because most people do not get this part right. Victims believe that emotions are caused by other people or external situations. That promotion makes you feel happy, getting fired makes you feel sad, having a breakup makes you feel depressed, or someone insulting you makes you angry. In fact, you’re the one who’s generating all those emotions with what you value (ep: Understanding Meaning, Purpose, & Value). You have to start taking responsibility for all the feelings you have. The feelings you have about the external world come from the meanings you assign it. That comes from your inner world, from you! ep: Master Your Emotions. ep: Understanding Emotions. ep: Dealing with Strong Negative Emotions. Summary is here. post: Integrating Emotions, by moderator @universe. Accidents -This is where it starts to get a little bit radical. Taking 100% responsibility for your life, means everything (12:10). This also means accidents and bad luck. So, what qualifies as an accident? You go to work and lock your house, but it gets burglarized anyway, even though you locked all your doors. You’re sitting in traffic at a red light and someone rear-ends you, crashes right into you. You invest some money in the stock market and the market crashes. Even if the whole economy collapsed, you’re still responsible for that. “But Leo, why would I take responsibility for that kind of stuff? It’s out of my control!” Taking responsibility for bad luck sounds radical doesn’t it!! However, it’s in your best interest to start taking responsibility for what’s seemingly out of your control. Although you don’t fully control circumstances, you do control your response to circumstances. Circumstances The next area is life circumstances. What does ‘circumstances’ mean? Life circumstances means stuff like… The family you grew up in. The country that you live in now. The genetics that you had when you were born. The amount of money that you have now in your bank account? The political system that’s in power in your country? These are all circumstances. Most people really like to use circumstances as the reason why they can’t do what they want in their life. Relationships -Taking responsibility for relationships is huge (14:50). A lot of people are miserable in their life because of the low quality of relationships that they have, whether it’s friends, spouses, bosses, girlfriends, boyfriends, family, and so forth. This happens because it’s so easy and tempting to blame others when something’s not going right in a relationship. We do that pretty much every time, which is a huge problem. Every single relationship that’s making you feel bad or frustrated, you’re completely responsible for that feeling! You’re completely responsible for that dynamic that’s going on between you and the other person. -If you take responsibility for all these areas, plus anything that’s been left out, you’re going to set the foundation that will propel you into creating the life you desire. If you refuse to take responsibility here, then you’re going to experience a lot of suffering and bad results. Natural Upward Progression -Most people live lives that are stuck. Although there’s a natural upward growth from their childhood to their teens, once they leave high school or college they stop learning. After about twenty-one, that natural growth starts to level out and plateau. Then their personal development start to decay. Their worldview congeals, they start living on auto-pilot and then they deteriorate. It’s very sad. -You don’t have to live like that. You can experience constant upward growth. When you commit to personal development your growth won’t just be linear, it can be exponential! Every year you can build yourself up with new mindsets, techniques, ways to view the world. Taking lots of action and generating results can motivate you even more. It can empower you, literally empower you because you’re creating tools that will allow you to have new capabilities. -Exponential growth feels so invigorating. That’s what’s possible for you, for growth to feel amazing and not like a grind. The Personal Development Model If you take personal development seriously you can go from being a low conscious victim to a high consciousness creator (19:00). There’s a spectrum of consciousness with victims at the lowest end. There are various degrees of consciousness, life stages and levels of development along this spectrum. These are the four stages… 1) The Victim -A Victim believes that they don’t have much control in life. What the Victim often feels is a sense of frustration and apathy. -A Victim doesn’t even want to start taking action because they believe that they don’t have the ability to succeed. They believe that there are obstacles and roadblocks that are insurmountable that it’s simply impossible and that they can’t do it, so this is where they are. The problem is that a Victim is doing all this unconsciously. He doesn’t really understand what’s going on here. He’s not even making the choice to be a Victim, it’s being made for him by default. Nevertheless, this choice is being made and it’s very, very crippling. What’s most scary about this is that people don’t see they’re doing it. That’s the lowest possible consciousness. 2) The Fighter -If you get a little bit more consciousness you evolve into the Fighter. What is the Fighter all about? Conflict. It’s conflict energy. It’s this idea that we live in a “dog eat dog” world. “The world is harsh. Reality is harsh. I need to fight for my survival, to protect my family. I always, always need to fight, to compete, because life is a zero sum game.” It’s believing that, if I win then somebody else has to lose. If somebody else is a winner, that makes me a loser. So there’s this constant tug of war, or this constant clashing. That’s conflict energy. -You probably know people like this. People who are combative and angry a lot. People who get in your face, who get easily frustrated. People who feel like they have to slave away in order to succeed. That is a Fighter. Although a lot of this fighting energy can be very nasty to be around, you could make the case that it’s actually better than being a Victim. Why is this? Because at least the Fighter believes that he has some control. -The Victim believes he has no control; the Fighter believes that he has control, but has to work really, really hard for it. He feels he must take control back from other people in order to have it. 3) The Creator -As you move up the consciousness spectrum, once you take quite a bit of responsibility, you get to the Creator phase. What is the Creator? The Creator is someone who realizes that life is what they make of it. The Creator is someone who realizes that yes, even though there are challenges in life, every single obstacle has some sort of work-around. Everything that’s blocking you can be dissolved, coped with, dealt with or accepted to the point where you feel at peace or even happy. -The Creator is all about creating the kind of life that he wants. That’s because he’s taken more responsibility than the Fighter and the Victim. The difference between the Fighter and the Creator is that the Creator is really focused on making stuff and taking massive action. Making stuff with his career, relationships, creativity and so forth. Whereas the Fighter is always fighting stuff, his own health, his need for sleep, his co-workers, his wife and kids. -The Creator doesn’t believe that fighting and competing is the best way. The Creator believes that it’s much better to just focus on creating what you want. He leaves the competing and worrying to others, because he's too busy creating awesome stuff. 4) The Final Stage -The final stage is an advanced stage that very few people ever reach. This should be the aim of personal development for you, in fact. This is the ultimate vision for you: Being At Peace. It’s even better than being a Creator! -This is maximum consciousness. When you’re At Peace you go full circle because just like the Victim who believes he has no control, the person who’s At Peace is just being and existing. He is a creative person, but it’s like the life force is just flowing through him. He has surrendered to the creative process. His job is to remove every single element of resistance within himself, get out of the way and ride the current of life. It’s hard to believe this is even possible, but it is. If you’re a Victim or a Fighter it’s hard to see all the way to the highest end of the consciousness spectrum. It takes a lot of work and it won’t happen naturally. -You should ultimately aim to Be At Peace, but your main focus is to get from being a Victim to at least the Fighter, but really, the Creator. You want to be a Creator in your life. Substitute Victim energy for Creator energy. That’s going to set you up to move up and up the consciousness spectrum, towards a greater and greater life. Responsibility vs Blaming -All this might be difficult to hear. You might be saying, “but Leo, some of this sounds good in theory, but you’re telling me to take responsibility for things I had nothing to do with! I didn’t choose my genetics, or my parents, or getting cheated on, or crashed into by that drunk. What on earth are you thinking?” There’s a big difference between responsibility and blame (26:26). Taking responsibility doesn’t mean being hyper self-critical and negative about yourself. You aren’t to blame for your genetics, or your bad relationships, or all the abuses, injustices and bad accidents that you’ve suffered in life. What we really mean here is responsibility—your ability to respond in the present moment. A lot of people and especially victims tend to think, “but Leo, I can’t move on because of all of this negative stuff that happened to me in the past. I had bad relationships, a bad family, all these dysfunctions and bad luck. How can I get over that?” What you fail to realize is that problems in the past don’t actually exist. In fact, the past itself doesn’t exist. The past is couched in the present moment. You access the past through the present moment. For the past to hold you back, you have to think about it in the present moment. You Have Control Over The Present -The present is where you have control. You always have control over how you interpret a situation and how you choose to respond, despite what’s happened to you. If you’re conscious you have this option. The higher your consciousness, the more resourceful your reactions will be. Many Victims don’t believe they have this option because they’re unconscious. They don’t want to see it. They don’t want to believe that they have the ability to respond in the present moment. So even if you were abused, you can respond to it now in a different way. If you want to create a whole story that labels you as a victim, you could say the universe sucks. That you were wronged and you’re incapable of learning, growing and moving past it. That’s one option. Another option is to say… “I don’t want to do that. I want to create my life. I want to have a happy, amazing, successful life. I want to self-actualize. I’m not going to let anything that has happened to me in the past hold me back. I’m going to choose the most resourceful interpretation of my circumstances that I possibly can.” “I’m going to take complete responsibility right now, for everything. I’m going to have control over my actions going forward.” “If I was born in a poor country that didn’t have lots of opportunity, I’m going to take responsibility for that. I can’t go back and change that, it is what it is, but I can respond to it right now. I can choose to think of it in an empowering way. I can choose to shape my future right now.” “I can move to a different country. I can try out all sorts of options to change my circumstances. Even if I can’t change my circumstances, ultimately I still have choice. I choose how I think about what I can’t control. I can control how I feel by choosing the meaning I ascribe to events.” “Through this process, I will either create the life circumstances that I want, or if I fail to do that, I will still create the happiness I want. So either way I win.” The Paradox of Personal Development -That’s how a Creator thinks. It’s very different from a Victim. It’s a 180° difference, a paradigm shift, which is why it’s so important to explore it from different angles. If you’re a Victim then just telling you once isn’t going to do much for you. Your brain is one of the most amazing mechanisms for creating excuses. It’s like an excuse creation machine. Your brain has gotten really, really good with the stories, the excuses, the blaming, the complaining and the whining. It will say anything to stop you from going out of your comfort zone to pursue something bigger and greater. -It’s a paradox of personal development that to get great results in life, you have to trust yourself, but you also have to question everything about yourself. Your brain is constantly hijacking you behind enemy lines, so you have to become even more aware of how you self-deceive, self-sabotage and manipulate yourself to stay stuck. -A Victim cannot trust himself, but once you move out of Victim to Creator you can really start trusting yourself. Your self trustworthiness will be even higher when you’re in the At Peace stage, but that’s going to take some work. If you’re heavily, heavily soaked in Victim mentality you have to be very careful about how much you trust yourself. -Notice what you’re saying to yourself throughout this episode. You're probably not assessing your potential accurately. All the excuses and counter points that your brain is coming up with shouldn't be trusted. You’ve got to be really careful about all that because it's keeping you stuck. Why Do Victims Want to Stay Victims? -It’s important to understand why do Victims want to stay Victims? Leo will try to advise victims, but they don’t want to listen. In fact, usually when you tell a Victim that he’s being a victim, he doesn’t just say thank you and change. He usually gets angry and defensive. He’ll start blaming you for accusing him of all this negative stuff. “But Leo, you don’t understand, I actually am a victim. You don’t know what it’s like to be me. My life is so miserable, because…” -What’s scary, is all these excuses and stories seem incredibly real. They take on a life of their own and become a self-fulfilling prophecy, even though it doesn’t have to be that way. From Victim To Exponential Growth -Leo had four areas of his life where he was a Victim for a long time (35:00). He had an epiphany that he didn’t have to be a Victim anymore. His results skyrocketed, because he made a critical decision to say “no more victim-thinking.” As soon as that happened, he experienced massive personal growth. Education -In jr high he wasn’t very good academically, but when he finished his first year of high school something triggered in him. He got really focused on education and spent the rest of high school and college studying really, really hard. He zeroed in on academics. In many ways that decision, that hard work, set up an amazing foundation for the rest of his life. That mindset didn’t happen until he made a very clear decision that he wanted to focus on his education. Health -Leo used to be fat Leo. He was 65 lbs overweight from childhood to early college. In the middle of college, he had an epiphany that he could get fit and be responsible for his own health. That was very challenging for him to accept because he’d been such a Victim about his health and eating habits for such a long time. When he took ownership of this decision, his health completely turned around. He lost 65 lbs in five months. He’s been able to keep the weight off to this day. Career and Work -Leo’s first job was the one he’d wanted since childhood. But his dream job turned out much different than he expected. It made him frustrated and miserable. This also made him angry with the world. He’d become a game designer because he had all these amazing ideas he wanted to bring to fruition. Sure he was working at a big studio, but fulfilling his vision required massive capital. He’d need millions of dollars, but he didn’t have anything near that in savings. Even though he had a “good job” with benefits, he was barely able to make ends meet. So he started becoming miserable and toxic. He was frustrated because he had all these amazing ideas but believed that the world wasn't letting him express them. That belief started ruining his relationships. It made him impossible to work for. One day he had an epiphany. He actually did have control over this situation. All these obstacles with money, opportunity and business weren’t going away, but he could take them on as a challenge. He could decide to get out there, work really hard and find the tough solutions that would resolve his problem. That’s what he did. Within a few months he quit his job and started an online marketing company. That business has generated over a million dollars of cash profit, just from one decision to take responsibility. He knows if he didn’t take responsibility right then and there, he would’ve stayed stuck. Instead of enjoying exponential personal growth, he would’ve become more and more toxic. His life would have decayed, because the toxicity would’ve built up inside him. Dating And Relationships -Leo had to take massive responsibility in the area of dating and relationships. He was bad at attracting and understanding women. He didn’t know how to get romantic relationships to work. He didn’t take responsibility for this until he was 26. It was a very specific moment where he declared, “I get to control my sex life. I get to control how attractive I am to women. I get to control what kind of relationships I get into. I get to control who I end up with.” When he committed to that, his results skyrocketed. He did a lot of hard, hard work to make that happen, but it resulted in some of the deepest personal growth he’s ever had. It was harder than studying his ass off in college, harder than losing 65 lbs, harder than finessing his way into his childhood dream job, harder than creating a million dollar business, and even harder than moderating the Actualized.org forums ?. -I’m sure you’ve had areas in your life where you’ve had to overcome big challenges and say, “I have to take responsibility, now. I can take on this challenge.” -So, why do people become victims and stay victims? It happens because it’s freaking scary. It’s scary to admit to yourself that you’re actually responsible for all of it. Why is that scary? Because that means you now have to do the work. People want to stay in their comfort zone, but they need to start thinking radically different to become a Creator. -If you’re really stuck with a tough problem (financial, health, romantic, relational, etc) it means your current way of thinking needs to change. The status quo isn’t enough to get you where you want to go. This doesn’t mean you’re incapable and it’s impossible. It means you’re currently incapable because you need to grow. You need to do whatever it takes. It’s like your problem is at a level 8 and you’re at a level 2 of development. The challenge is greater than your current level. This makes you think the challenge is insurmountable, but there are many people who could easily step over this challenge. It’s not even an obstacle for them. Why is that? It’s not because the challenge is any different; it’s because they themselves are more developed. They weren’t born different; they developed themselves to a higher level. They aren’t more resourceful, or more capable, they are just more experienced. (ep: Expose Yourself to More Experience) The Best Tool For Overcoming Challenges -Personal development is the best tool for overcoming sticky problems, because some life challenges are so big you can’t overcome them at your current level of development. Maybe you’ve got a level eight challenge and you’re a level two person. That’s a big level gap. That’s something you’ll have to work hard at, raising yourself higher and higher until you become a level four person, then level five, six, seven, eight. Then you get to level nine and suddenly that challenge stops being a challenge. Leo went through thousands and thousands of hours of hard work to level up his education, fitness, communications skills and career, so that he now has the freedom to research and make videos for us ?. -It takes a lot of emotional labor to be brutally honest with yourself. To not bullshit yourself, to break down your ego, to achieve the results you envision and then really lock in those changes. That’s not something the average person wants to do, which is why the average person gets ? for results. Leo had to grow himself along with his business, dating life and career. The amount of time and energy he put into this was so ridiculous most people wouldn’t believe it. He moved to Vegas so he could practice pickup every night. He sometimes got rejected so hard he’d leave the club crying. When was the last time you practiced so hard you cried? He invested thousands of hours just to get that one girlfriend he wanted! -The problem is you’re not taking enough action if you’re a Victim. If you’re a victim in life you need to take massive action. The only way you’ll do that is by believing you can, and also cutting the excuses. As long as there’s excuses, stories and blaming, you’ll be too demoralized to take action. -There’s a difference between a little bit of action and massive, freaking action. Most Victims try something a few times and say, “But Leo I tried that, it doesn’t work. I went to the gym, or meditated, and it didn’t change my life in a week. I submitted twenty resumes and didn’t get my dream job. I tried studying hard and I didn’t get an A+. I’m just really bad at life, because…” -The reason it didn’t work is because you weren’t taking massive action. Not minor action, but… Massive. Fucking. Action. Don’t Underestimate The Amount of Action Necessary -You may think you took a lot of action, but you didn’t. Your action was too little and it probably wasn’t effective. When you take effective massive action almost any obstacle will crumble before you, or you’ll find a work-around. We always underestimate how much action is necessary. We like to tell ourselves that we’ve already taken massive action because it’s soothing to the ego. Your brain doesn’t actually know how much action is necessary. -That’s why it’s good to be around really exceptional people (47:22). It’s good to have mentors, role models and people who are way, way, way better than you. You see how they think, how dedicated they are and you start to realize what massive action looks like. "Damn, I’m not taking any action compared to that guy. The lengths he’s going to get results are incredible.” eg: Cal Newport discusses deep work and deliberate practice. -You’re right, you can’t do it right now, but you could build yourself up. So, cut the excuses, the whining, the blaming, the story making and be very honest with yourself. “Forget the ego. I want results. I want happiness. I’ve only got this one life. I’ve got to make it happen. To do that I’m willing to take massive, massive, massive freaking action on this challenge." "I’m going to hit it from every single angle until I find a solution, or I find a way to cope and learn to be happy with it. Either way something’s going to work for me.” -That’s how a Creator thinks. Do not trust your brain to estimate how much action is necessary to be good at something. Do not trust your brain to tell you that you’re doing enough. I can guarantee you’re massively underestimating how much work is needed to become great at the things you want to master. Victim Labels -Victims use specific words and phrases that reinforce their Victim thinking. It keeps their stories and excuses in place. When you read this list… a) Really look for which phrases you use yourself. b) Notice what areas of your life you use them in. c) As you go through life, whenever you notice this negative, victim self-talk pattern going on, interrupt yourself and say, “Okay, that’s where I’m being a Victim!” d) Then say to yourself, “I need to take more massive action right here.” Or, “I need to learn a new technique, a new strategy to handle this.” So it’s not just about working hard, it’s also about working smart. -This is a list of phrases that keep Victims stuck in life. Knowing this list can be a very powerful tool for identifying Victim thinking and self-deception within yourself and within others. (49:35) • I can’t. That’s not me. How can I? This is probably the most common and worst thing that victims will say that to themselves and to other people. • It’s impossible. • It’s too hard. • Life is unfair, or evil, or bad. How can we be happy in a bad world? • I must, I need to, I have to. There’s nothing that you need or must or should do in your life. All that stuff is up to you. It’s a big trap. • I’ve never done that. “You’re telling me to go out there and do this crazy thing? You’re telling me to do some public speaking, or start a business or start working out, or eat healthy, or mediate, or do all this personal development stuff? I don’t know how to do that. I’ve never done that before.” Well, time to learn. That’s why you got a brain. • What if I fail? “Leo, what if I start a business, or trust that guy and he turns out to be an abusive jerk?” “What if I try meditating, or working out, or watching your videos and I fail?” Well, if at first you don’t succeed, you try, try again. That’s why massive action is required, because there’s going to be massive failure. • But it’s his fault. “It’s my wife’s fault, or my husband’s, or that fuckboi’s, or those feminists, or the global elites, etc. Blaming other people. This is a huge, huge obstacle for victims. • I’ve already tried that. None of that stuff works. “But Leo, I’ve already tried meditation, dieting, working out, starting a business, submitting some resumes, public speaking etc.” Massive fucking action. Take more action and it will work for you. You massively overestimate how much you’ve tried stuff. Most people only try stuff once or twice, if that. Sometimes you need to try stuff a hundred times before it works. You need to have persistence to do that. • Never and Always. Victims love to talk like this, “That will never happen” or “this always happens.” “I always get bad luck, I always fail. I never get any luck. I never succeed. I never get it easy. I never get a break.” Watch for those. • I’ll try... I’ll give it a shot... “Sounds good, I’ll try to start a business, or lose some weight, or heal my depression, or meditate.” How far do you think you’ll get if you just keep trying stuff? Do or do not. • Maybe... I think… “Maybe I’ll lose some weight next year.” “Maybe I’ll set a goal for my business next year.” “Maybe I’ll earn a little bit more money next year.” “I think that could work.” “I think I’d like to be passionate about my life.” “I think I’d like to have a nice wife or husband.” “I think I’d like to lose some weight.” • I’m not good enough. “How am I going to do that? Build a business? I’m not smart enough.” “Study really hard? I’m not good at focusing.” “Relationships? But, I’m so scared of getting hurt.” “Grow myself, do personal development? I’m not capable enough. I’ve got XYZ limitation”. • There’s no point. “What’s the point in doing all this hard work? Of growing yourself, developing yourself? Life’s so pointless. It’s all going to be bad in the end, we’re all going to die in the end anyways. Why bother?” • It’s too much effort. “I get what you’re saying. You’ve got to work really hard to get the results you want, but I don’t want to work that hard. You’re telling me to take this massive action to improve this area of my life. Why would I want to work so hard to be happy?” • It’s too late for me. “That’s all great for young people, but not me. If I saw this video ten, twenty years ago, maybe it would have done some good. It’s too late to start a business, or lose weight, or go back to school, or meditate, or be smart. It’s too late to do personal development.” It’s never too late. Besides, what else are you going to do with your life? Be sucky and miserable? • It’s easy for you. I don’t have all the stuff you have. “You had a head start. You do this professionally. You had a good childhood. You had this, you had that. I have the following list of disabilities and incapabilities. How am I going to do it?” That’s why you grow yourself the way every successful person has. They didn’t always have this stuff. They worked really freaking hard to get it. • How am I going to do it? “I got all jazzed up and sat down to strategize, but I don’t know how. I got really excited, and drew up my big vision, but [/b]I don’t know how I’m going to accomplish all of this stuff.[/b]” • I don’t know how to start. How do I get from A to B? That’s called doing research. You go out there and look for role models, read books, study, watch more videos, do online courses, go through a process of trial and error. Again, massive action, and then you’ll know how. Until then, you have to trust yourself. Wrap Up -Right now all the stories, all the excuses, all the blaming, all the whining, all the complaining stops (58:58). It stops right now. You decide to take full responsibility for your life, 100%. No more blaming anyone or any external circumstance. You’re taking full creative authority over your own life. In the end, the quality of your life is only determined by you, your thoughts and your actions. That’s it. This is not something that happens in one day. One episode’s not going to do it, but hopefully, it’s triggered something in you. Brought you inspiration and clarity. -Personal development isn’t something you do as a chore. You do this because it’s exciting. This can be the most fun, interesting and passionate thing in your life because personal development is your life. You get to construct whatever kind of life that you want. -If you accept that you’re a Creator then you’ll want every possible tool and mindset to carryout your vision for happiness, career, relationships, health, to inner success and your life purpose.

The most recent list of Summaries & Episodes is here Leo's Blog: Table of Contents Blog Videos, Summaries & Interviews Actualized.org on Psychedelics (has all resources on psychedelics) Leo’s “20 Dream Killers” article. There’s an Actualized.org Textbook. It was assembled by @Cepzeu and others. Summaries in the Textbook (v2) will say: (book pg XXX). You can also check out Leo’s Personal Development Blueprint. It covers over 100 concepts in personal development. Actualized.org Youtube Episodes: The first 200 episodes have transcripts in the video section of Actualized.org. If you want to contribute to this thread, select one of the episodes that still needs a summary and post it here. Episodes: 1 - 249 Episodes: 250 - 506

I have the perfect picture for you...

439. Summary for "Life Advice For Young People Pt. 1" from @john1

@john1 @Enlighten Notes for these two videos already exist in the Summaries Thread. This version's good too, so I'll add it.