Barbara

It would be a great thing for you to contemplate.

Having sex with different people gives us a great chemical reward since it's part of a basic pattern of reproduction and survival of species. It's instinctive, so to speak. But as humans, we can operate within higher levels of consciousness, not only serving our basic instinct. So knowing this, helps me to be grounded and distance myself from this kind of thoughts towards other people that are not my partner. What I also find helpful, is being honest with each other. So if you think your gf would comprehend the extent of your concern and also acknowledge that you don't wanna follow these urges, in order not to hurt yourself more and her, I believe would be tremendous to your relationship having that kind of openness. Would also be great for your healing. Warm regards for both

@electroBeam I could say the same. But as you and I know, even from these testimonials from this forum, man and woman can be needy. It's about childhood psychological patterns that were established and a relatively low level of consciousness as adults.

Neediness isn't a matter of gender, i believe.

Equanimity is key.

@meow_meow "Females" don't lie. People lie. It does not have to do with gender, it has to do with consciousness. The less conscious you are, the more truth is meaningless to you. Telling her what to do would be basically your ego, thinking less of itself when compared to others, trying to control other human, from a place of fear of external rejection and neediness. And that does not sound harsh, it sounds immature. And that is also not your need, it's your egoic whim. And leaving her if she says no, would not be your power, but you not knowing how to deal with being contradicted. @VictorB02 It's really cool to see your insights in this thread. I believe that in a relationship when one wants to ask for something from the other, it cannot be imposed. The only thing you can do is telling your partner how you feel, with no filters, being 100% honest, and get to a middle ground with her. Someplace you're both comfortable with. And I believe you're completely right when getting to the conclusion that you have absolutely no control over others and going so is a lack of love (but also self-reassurance) and that you can only control yourself here. Keep doing what you're doing, reflecting, and being the best you can be. Warm regards

↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑ This is sooo true. Thanks aurum

Oh my that’s awful. I’m so sorry that happened to you. But you will get over it, I’m sure! Therapy would be great, yes. Also self-inquiry. Also, work on forgiving your self. Deeply understand you were a kid and naive. The person who did this to you really should be in a bad place in life. Forgive him too. Not for his sake, but for yours. Comprehend deeply the reason why every little thing happened at the time, even if it’s only your perspective and relative. With compreension comes acceptance, with acceptance, forgiveness and peace. Also try small interactions with women, just so you proove yourself they can be trusted, even if that’s comes with anxiety. Just push a little bit outside of your confort zone, in the measure you feel it would be good for you. i wish you the best and much much love

https://www.babypips.com

Don't put your well-being in other people's hands. Stop focusing so much on narcissistic or abusive people and focus on you! How you can elevate your vibe, be more confident, learn how to say no, and care for yourself first! The goal should be having such a powerful and strong energy that narcissists and psychos run away from you! Not you losing energy trying to keep them away. You rock girl!

@Leo Gura I'm so sorry to hear it. Do you know about German New Medicine? I do not believe or disbelieve it, but I got rid of a chronicle problem of mine after knowing about it, and work on it with this knowledge. I don't know if was a coincidence it stopped by that time or not, but you can check it out if you want. https://learninggnm.com/home.html New agey, woo-woo stuff tho. I wish you the absolute best Leo.

Maybe you're not being completely honest about sex. Maybe you're doing it when you don't wanna do it. Or maybe you are doing things you don't want to do, but thinking you should be doing, because is expected from a relationship to have sex. Well, I did this. Short after negative thoughts regarding sex appeared, ofc. I felt like sex was disgusting, and kinda slutty, it was overrated. Did not really enjoyed it, even having an orgasm every time. When I realized this, I talked to my boyfriend about it and felt better, so I started work on it. First, I had to notice and learn when I wanted or not. It's crazy, but the odds are, you don't even know what you want. Start looking for subtle body language. Learn when you don't want to have sex. Second, when you don't want it, don't do it. My boyfriend and I, after this acknowledgment, went through a really long dry period. Not once he complained or insisted. He fully realized that this was a huge problem for me and wanted to help as much as he could, even tho he was doing no fap and quitting porn at the same time. Third, sometimes it's not about sex itself. Maybe you are doing things in sex that doesn't really resonate with you. Maybe a blowjob or a position you don't want. You must do none of that if you don't feel like it. Notice how much this is self-sabotage. A healthy sexual life is not about doing sex, or how many times you do it. It's about you being completely comfortable with sex and your partner. You enjoying sex. But by doing what you really don't want to, keeps you less and less close to healthy sex life. Fourth, realize that this is bigger than sex. If you do this with sex, probably you do it with other things in your life too. That makes you a bit of a pushover. If that's the case, you have to stop that attitude and regain power over your situation. Learn how to say no and be assertive. That will only be good for you. Fith, felt nice to embrace my femininity. Watched The Goop Lab and Leo's vid about feminine sexual partners and it all helped. I don't know if you're in any contraceptive pill or any of that, but I got out of it, cause it was killing my sex drive, as well. I know you have a lot of fear of getting pregnant, but the biological odds of that are quite low. Pregnancy is almost a miracle. But anyway, I don't want to advise you on that since I don't know much about it, but if you take contraceptive pill plus use a condom, you're good to go. About STD, get you and your boyf tested if you feel like it. Now I got over it and enjoy sex very much with my boyfriend. It's not only about sex, but it's also about intimacy and it's very important for proximity in the relationship, even if you don't see it now. But right now, I never never do sex without wanting it, and in general, I'm quite active in it. But that will come with time and healing, so I recommend you to not force it. If you want me to share more, you can reach me. I wish you the infinite best. With love,

How are you now? What have you had?

But then what? Would you create a business or so after prison and pension? Also, how would you have access to personal development books in prison?

@Florian That's awesome!

Revenge is about catharsis. But the thing is, studies found that catharsis theory actually doesn't work as it's supposed to. It's supposed to be an emotional release, but what actually does is, make you angrier and more destructive, as amenX said. If you want, watch this video that is experimentation on that. For an internal problem search for an internal solution. You can never change others, only yourself. I wish you the absolute best

What does the "essence of reality" means?

@RedLine Oh how come it isn't rational? You only know what light is because you know dark. Only know what good is in comparison to bad. Perfection, high, fast, delicious, smooth, cold, these are all relative terms. They all come from judgment and comparison. From reason.

But something being perfect implies imperfection.

I used to feel like I couldn't keep up with anything I started too. That was brutal on my self-esteem. Stepping out of my comfort zone was key. Did a 15 days retreat. No giving up. That really changed me. It was so damn hard. But I stuck till the very end. Also, traveled to a very different culture, with only myself to resort. Become a pescatarian, no cheating. Built a meditation practice. Always honor it above all. Become tidier. Etc etc. What I've learned from all of this, is that self-esteem is greatly created by how much you take yourself and your word seriously. It's important to always always honor the promises you make to yourself. Start small, be realistic and kind to yourself. There's great potential in you. I can see it. You just have to grab the bull by the horns. Best wishes to you and good luck with your new job! Warm regards

I'm sorry, maybe I'm the only one, but I don't think cutting her off will resolve anything here. It would be an external answer, to a problem that is yours only. If she triggers so much anger and rage in you, it's something you have to fix within yourself. She can be whatever she wants, but you are the one who is letting that something you can't control, actually control you. Take responsibility. - Understand why she is that way, not so you can try and change her, but so you can be more empathic and accept her. You will be the only one benefiting from this, believe me. Know that you cannot command her in any way. You only can command yourself. - Do not cut her off... That will only lead to you putting more negative energy towards her. What you can simply do is not giving the importance you're giving to her behavior. Understand that she is the person who gets more harmed by her attitudes. You will only get harmed if you let so, if you give the importance you're giving. - If she's 18, she will grow eventually, and so will you. Compromising your relationship over this, may bring you some regrets in the future. - Maybe if I talked to your cousin she would also have complaints about you. But does this really matter? Does it actually say anything about you? So why are you giving so much importance to your opinion about her? That's a self-bias. Work from there. I reiterate, your issue with your cousin it's not about her. It's about you. Learn a little bit from yourself from this. In your life, there will be many unpleasant people, that sometimes you cannot cut off, and learning how to deal with them, will only be good for you. Take this as a challenge. Don't let your well-being on other person's hand. Be compassionate, strategic, and the higher person here. I wish you the absolute best

@datamonster My grandparents have a lot of agriculture, but it's done in a still rudimentary way. I would love to evolve it with new tech and apply to EU funds so I can have most of my expenses covered It would be lovely since what I desire the most is leaving the city for the countryside. Once I'm there, I know my creativity will explode! I get a lot of creativity when I'm near nature. Also, perfect time to work on my artistic projects, since I get a tons of inspiration from nature. Still have a lot to consider tho. Thank you for asking

Hey so, recently I feel like I can’t or shouldn’t trust my mind for making decisions, having opinions, or taking a position. I guess I’m stuck in a counterproductive relativism (?) is that a thing? About having opinions I understand how it’s like a good thing to not have the urge to have those, but I’m struggling to make practical decisions. For example, I’m in university, taking law but I don’t like it, or at least, I think I don’t… I can’t even no longer say if I like it or not, since our minds are so malleable and under great external influence. Let’s say I don’t like it tho. I’m finishing it next year and I want to find something to do. I would like it to be aligned with my purpose (which btw, haven’t found yet), but can I even trust the content of my purpose? Does anyone identify with this? Am I looking the wrong way? I’m seriously confused. Any recommendations on books, podcasts, or videos on this topic (Leo's or other). Thank you for your attention

@datamonster Yea, I don't regret not choosing philosophy. I'm really not the academic type and really like to study on my own, since I also like to integrate this knowledge about personal development. Next year I'll try something out of the box to achieve financial stability and start financial independence, but I don't think it will be anything regarding law, since for me to make a decent amount of money in this field, it would take me probably 5 more years. Also, it's really not my thing. I'm a free bird. With love

Are you familiar with German New Medicine? My thoughts on it are not quite established, so I don't believe nor disbelieve, but, I've learned about It, perhaps in may, and studied it a little bit because I used to have a lot of bladder infections, like every month. Every time I went to the doctor, I left with a bunch of antibiotics. As I hate taking those, I tried alternative methods. GNM seems like a whoo-whoo new age stuff I'll give you that, and I do not have knowledge on regular medicine to dismiss it or believe in it, but since I acknowledge what GNM says bout bladder issues and applied it to my life, never had bladder infections ever since. I don't know if was a coincidence or if it's a truly powerful thing. I can talk a little bit about my problem and what I did, if you want Kind regards