Ryan R

@Sine I use the two more or less interchangeably on a regular basis, still there are indeed distinctions. As concepts they are words that point to the same Reality, but "monism" is relayed from "western" (mostly Greek as far as I know) wisdom and spiritual traditions while "non-dualism" comes more by way of the same in the "east". I find I use "non-dual" more when speaking from a bottom-up perspective and "monist" more when speaking top-down. Also, far more lay people who have not studied philosophy have heard of "non-dualism" than "monism". "Non-dualism" is more useful in communicating with the masses because of this and because it gives a starting reference point to, and is just a bit easier to digest for, those still stuck in dualism. When it comes to the morphology of the words I prefer "monism" because linguistically the prefix "non" applied to the root "dualism" implies that "non-dualism" is dependent on "dualism" as an origin of being, and this is out of alignment with Truth. "Monism" is ultimately more precise and it's use is more integris. Both of these words and concepts lend themselves to more expansive and meta definitions. Simply put, "non-dualism" means "not two, but One", and "monism" means "all is One". We of course know that the not two, but One is None, and the all that is One is None. The baseline for both of these concepts that conventionally point to One is metaphysically None, as in not 1, but 0, infinitely. "Non-dualism" and "monism" are essentially synonyms both conventionally and metaphysically. "Monism" should not be confused with "monotheism" because conventionally they are defined and typically used very differently. From a meta perspective, sure, there is alot of overlap and similarity there. It could be said that the concept of monism contains the belief of monotheism, but monotheism is by definition only a belief and the vast majority of monotheist peoples would not accept monism or non-dualism as even beliefs. Again, "monism" essentially states "all is One". Monotheism is "the belief in only one God as opposed to many", not "all is One God". These are important distinctions for effective communication.

Most US police train extensively to shoot (typically a double tap +) for center mass (basically the chest) in order to "stop". The average cop is not trained to specifically kill, maim, or cripple, but to reliability hit and incapacitate ASAP to eliminate the threat of return fire. The legs of a perpetrator can be shot to pieces even, and while that is happening and until they bleed out, they can remain a very serious threat to officers and nearby civilians. It would be considered negligence on multiple levels on the part of police to shoot to cripple people. This incident is of course a tragedy as most shootings are, but please understand the cop had to make a very high stakes split second decision in an adrenalized state with far more limited information than we have in looking at it all in hindsight, with multiple angles of video, and after an investigation. I'm sure the officer didn't know he was engaging a 13 year old. If you examine the video it appears the cop and the kid are approximately the same height. If that is a 6 foot tall fence, which is likely from context and as a norm, then this 13 year old was around 5'9"ish. As is often the case the media, usually in conjunction with the family and the PR firm and attorneys they have hired, is likely showing an "old" photo of him as a sweet innocent looking little kid in order to generate greater outrage. I'm not a cop, but I've worked with many and I assure you there are very few police officers that would knowing shoot to death a 13 year old in the line of duty whether relatively right or wrong and whether they were armed or not. If this was a "good" cop (and yes, they do exist) that saw himself as a protector of the weak, a servant of the community, and a true blue good-guy, then this will destroy him from the inside out even if he faces few legal or professional consequences.

Great finds @loub ! Much appreciated. Any professional spiritual teacher who doesn't explicitly teach Integrity to some degree should find a new calling imho, but it's how they embody and teach it implicitly and by example that seperates the men from the boys, lol! Integrity is the bridge between the practical/physical and the transcendent Actual/metaphysical that most readily allows any who dedicate themselves to a life of true Integrity and integration to cross into God-Consciousness. I always enjoy some Ralston as well. I feel he and Leo have somewhat similar styles. What sets Leo apart from all others is I almost always learn a bit of something from every video he releases. They are both a great deal of fun for me to watch work

@machiavelli I'm going to offer you just this one pointer and that's it. A brief bit of my personal story for context. My post-rational self is built on an ultra-rational foundation. I am very sober, sane, and rational. I love science, quality openminded science. I am a trained scientist as one of my undergrad degrees is in environmental science. I am not religious or new age in any conventional sense and for all of my youth was anti-religious/anti-superstitious. I have never used a psychedelic substance of any sort. Through simple meditation, contemplation, visualization, and self-inquiry exercises I have had all manner of transcendent, or what might be called trippy, experiences. Certainly not the most grand, profound, or important, but somehow the most overall odd for me (and odd doesn't even begin to describe some of what I've observed) are my longstanding frequent interactions with fairies. Yes, fairies... To be clear I am not about fairies and I Do Not nor have I ever believed in fairies, yet there the little folk are. Not believing in fairies as they frolic right in front of me taught me a valuable lesson, to not believe in me or you either. That is the practical use of most such things as this for awakening. Following your line of questioning from this thread you will want to know if I can prove fairies exist objectively. Can we video tape them, or prehaps we could capture one, observe it in a controlled environment, and later dissect it. Sure, prehaps we could if any of us "existed". And here is the final piece of the puzzle. Despite any supposed evidence to the contrary at only seemingly multiple levels of reality, the fairies do exist and so do we, but none of us like you currently believe and none of us objectively.

I was totally just about to post this same thing!... Clear concrete evidence of telepathy, lol!

@Leo Gura Yep, this is exactly why I didn't offer any advice. As soon as I heard of your condition some time ago I wanted so badly to chime in and say, "Water fast man!" but I was also concerned that your autoimmune/thyroid issues might make fasting very difficult for you. I'm so sorry your fasting experience went so poorly, but it's awesome that Carnivore is working so well! Briefly on fasting, as I think I sense curiosity of it as a spiritual tool from you and many in this community, it is typically very useful for facilitating transcendent states but it does not generally do so on it's own. What 'should' happen is approximately 3 days in most hunger should subside and yield to a generally low physical and mental energy state that is extremely grounded, centered, clear, and profoundly fertile for allowing meditation, breath work, etc, to deeply and quickly impact preceived human Consciousness. This sweet-spot or sweet-period of a fasted state fluctuates a bit but normally lasts days or even weeks (if you're fat, lol). If left to go until it ends, it terminates in the severe hunger, weakness, and the basic feeling that bodily shutdown may be near much as you describe in your blog post. A major rule of fasting is: Listen to the Body! I'm glad you broke your fast earlier than you planned my friend. It was the right thing to do. I know you are a very smart guy who has done and is doing a great deal of research. I know you will overcome this life challenge. As a strategic problem solver and someone who has done and supervised many fasts for a variety of reasons I want to offer you worst case scenario hope. I doubt I'm telling you anything you don't know, but if this comes to the point of you solve this or die trying, consider a clinical medically supervised fast... of 3-6 weeks. I know, I know, it will basically be paying doctors a ton of money to come close to starving you to death, but it should starve everything in your gut microbiom to death as well. That doesn't mean of course that it will heal the underlying condition. You could even pull an Elvis Presley and be put into a medically induced coma for much of it (the weight loss secret of the king, lol). I've deeply contemplated what I know of your situation and this is all I've come to as a do or die last resort. To hell with all the suffering and costs of such a method if Carnivore or anything else works of course. Good luck Leo. Hang in there. We wish you the best.

@gettoefl @CBDinfused You are welcome my friends

I've not yet realized anything that leads me to the conclusion that there is a "final stage" of enlightenment. The fact is, if One completely dissolves the ego and can just sit free of all action and attachment, including to things like food, water, and shelter, One can indeed embrace bodily death in blissful peace, but doing so is a selfish cop out and a disappointing failure of the test of Life. Living all your days in some isolated hippie and/or spiritual community or as a solo hermit is typically little better. An enlightened human Being is an empowered human Being that can make meaning any way they choose, but hiding or dying is a pathetic worldly waste when serving Creation and walking the world as a force of Nature is an option. Bodily death will come in time even if life is relatively long and healthy. There is no need to rush it. Authenticity and integrity are very important. Embrace and embody what you know YourSelf to be. Integrate everything; pretend nothing. The Universe does not awaken to hide or die or pretend to yet slumber. The Universe awakens to lovingly lift itself up and then harshly shake and slap itself more fully awake. Here's another option for you. Become a Holy-man, a God-man, and not the sort that just talks the talk, but walk the walk. There is no demand to dress or speak oddly or to openly go around proclaiming yourself a guru or seeking a following or establishing a community. There is a demand, a deep God-realized demand, to be Goodness incarnate, to lift Creation up, and when needed to embrace the privilege and the duty to shake and slap it awake.

@CBDinfused I do not claim to speak for the philosophy of any group, but I can tell you of this from being a human Being. For starters, there are no "levels" and while various models of various things have their place, you would do well to transcend them. Next, very simply, hatred is divisive and love is unifying. True Love of course contains and loves all hatred which in this context then ceases to be. Ultimate Love is like that with all else, it surrounds and swallows up everything in Creation to the point of collapsing all in destruction by revealing unification. Powerful hatred is also a great, but far lesser, destroyer and is a dark unifier but through division and to the deluded extreme of only hatered of hatred remaining of an egoic identity. Because of this hatered can be used as an effective, although conventionally very dangerous and profoundly unhealthy, tool by the spiritual seeker. Ultimately though, hatred cannot overcome itself or Love, while Love can overcome hatred and all else by integration, unification, and beautiful creative destruction to the point of being an absolute unity of infinite Nothingness. A bit more practically speaking, a major defining aspect of being awake to/as Love is to be in love with Creation, to be selflessly in love with YourSelf. Have you ever loved a work of art? Has a work of art of any sort ever brought you tears of joy? Have you ever loved a human being as a work of art and more? Has the shape, the intricacies, the totality, the body-mind and spirit of another ever made you forget yourself and your world? Have you ever felt orgasmic-like bliss unrelated to sexual stimulation, but instead from deep bodily embraced love of any person, place, or thing? Has your sense of self ever dissolved in your love of another like a partner, a friend, your offspring, your sibling, or maybe even a pet? To be awake as/in/to Love is like these things. You are the Everything that is Nothing that is Love itself. In being a human being Love, all you encounter is like a beautiful living loving work of divine art. From flowers and sunsets to death and dung, all can bring tears of joy, ecstatic orgasmic transcendence, and self-dissolution to Nothing, to no personal subjects or objects, to only Self being Love. This is Your stateless state, as in not an altered state of seemingly human consciousness, but the Actual base state of formless Consciousness itself that plays at being your humanity and all else. It is the Meta-Subject that is You and there are no objects, only Everything that is Nothing that is Love as Absolute Unity. And all of this can seemingly take place in Being a human, but when aware of it One will know better, lol I hope this makes at least some sense?

@Preety_India I've seen you around the forum commenting and conversing on many threads and in my anecdotal observation people do give you a disproportionately more difficult time than most. Because of this and the mature positive way you often handle criticism with some grace I thought I found you likeable. Before posting here I wanted to have more surety and integrity in my assertion than only my first impressions of your admirable character. Because you are an open book I have read and contemplated some of your journal entries in an attempt to understand you better. You are an impressively brave and strong woman who has faced, overcome, and is healing from much adversity in life. I commend you on your fearless transparency, self-honesty, and dedication to healing and Self-actualization. You are a brilliant, articulate, and creative writer as well, but it was your couple of voice recordings that hit me the hardest. I am an empath when I choose to be and I could deeply feel both the pain and the hope in your voice. Thank you for all your sharing and contributions to the forum. I'm sure many different people can resonate with many different aspects of all you say. I know I can and I learned a few things from you also. To the extent that one may from mostly a bunch of text from a person they will never meet face-to-face, I can confidently say I like you and you are authenticly likable. If people in your life, or with a chance to be in your life, don't like you it's their loss. Take care Preety

Haha, that was more or less my first thought on this as well! Hilarious stuff. One of my takeaways from the Trump presidency was that if he could win and occupy the highest political office in the land then the flood gates are basically open for any clown to do the same at any level of government. How many of these guys are we going to see I wonder? The Republican party is both divided and doomed imo, yet some weakened semblance of it will survive. When shooting one's self in the foot there is none but the self to blame.

Human beings have a sort of superpower called meaning-making that relies entirely on relationships, relativism, You-you-and-YOU in relation with yourSelf. The nihilist makes meaning from whatever concepts they hold of meaninglessness. If meaninglessness is seen as sad, bad, or bothersome then these are yet other, likely conventionally unhealthy, meanings being projected over meaninglessness. If meaninglessness is seen as liberating, inspiring, or empowering then these are other, possibly humanly healthier, projections of meaning onto meaninglessness. When we transcend the body-mind so that preceived objective and subjective reality disappear into the Nothing that is Everything and there is only perfect silence, at whatever eternal-infinite space in limitless non-space we rest we are truly nihilistic. Take half a step back from this and be flooded with the Goodness and Love that washes away human nihilism and gives divine purpose in Life. Use Your meaning-making superpower to manifest Goodness and Love in all relationship in Creation. By all means be a nihilist, but be an enlightened meta One... or don't and suffer until you do.

Ah, understood. Orange it typically is indeed. Well said. I am not conventionally a Tibetan Buddhist, but I too practice my bodily death in daily meditation... "The Tibetan Book Of the Dead", aka "The Bardo"-something, I knew of a monk who used to share it with the dying. You just reminded me. Yes, Vajrayana Buddhists seem highly proficient in this and many areas. I'm sure we could all learn a great deal from their teachings.

Ah, I guess you just don't know much about guns. They are relatively durable goods. I own a Colt Peacemaker that is well over a hundred years old, and while it isn't as pretty as a new one (they have been in production for nearly 150 years now) I'm confident it shoots better than just about any fresh off the line. Prehaps this puts our basic logistical challenge in disarming the US into perspective?... Oh, and don't worry all. I have my license and mental health evaluation already.

@Alex bAlex And my condolences about your grandmother... On to our topic at hand. At the risk of sounding cynical, selling a bunch of crap to supposedly extend people's lives, playing on their fears surrounding death, makes an easy tidy profit. Besides that, as I think you already well understand the ego is The survival mechanism of the human condition. Ego wants to live. It's drive is to survive no matter what. I will add Life, God, wants to live, including through you, and this is where ego gets, and from some perspectives corrupts with selfish division, the idea from. In addition to all of that in Western civilization the moral underpinnings you are asking about come from the Christian Church as well as the foundations of Western medicine. Suicide in it's many forms (for honor, as punishment, in sympathy, for ritual sacrifice, and of course out of fear, and many more) and the putting to death of the elderly, disabled, and ill varied from ancient civilization to civilization, but such things often grossly failed to meet our modern standards of compassionate care. Before Christianity ruled our world religiously motivated ritual suicide and assisted suicide (willing human sacrifice) was not uncommon. Christianity came on the scene with a Lord and Savior God-man/apocalyptic prophet who's claim to fame was his sacrificial death and resurrection that rewards all his loyal followers with their own resurrection after death... in paradise as vastly improved versions of themselves none the less... Do you see how suicide and martyrdom may have been a concern for the Church? How does one build a successful powerful institution if all it's most dedicated adherents have an underlying drive to kill themselves or get themselves killed. Starting from it's origins and to this day the Church has preached and taught against suicide, including that it was an unforgivable mortal sin against God. "Secular" legal systems followed the lead of the Church. Suicide then would get you damned in the afterlife, your body disrespected, your family ostracized, all of yours and possibly all of your families property seized... and if your attempt was unsuccessful you could expect all of that plus being excommunicated and jailed. Any sort if assisted suicide and even medical personnel not doing everything they can to preserve life is also arguably against the Hippocratic Oath and by many is considered unethical. Unless medical personnel have been notified by you to the contrary, the default position is that they are obligated to do their best to save and preserve your life and they most certainly cannot purposely take it. This is changing to some extent. There is an increasing acceptance of euthanasia amongst doctors. I forget which ones, but consensual euthanasia is now legal in just a few states in the US. And as I said in another post, although it can have very serious consequences for the caregiver (prison, license loss, fines and civil suits) ending the extreme suffering of some in hospice is definitely an off-the-books practice. Lastly, since suicide is our topic I want to say I have personally known two people that have killed themselves and have seen first hand how it utterly wrecks, and I mean permanently destroys the lives of, their families and friends. I've also worked with suicidal children. Most people, and I would add especially young people, who say they want to kill themselves are actually just crying out for help. This is why we try to stop them and help them, because that is what they really want and need. People who actually want to kill themselves just do it with little to no warning or cry for help. If you are lucky they may leave you a nice note. If you are unlucky the note will not be so nice. In conclusion, kill your ego if you can, but not your Higher human Self even though your Absolute Self cannot be killed. Death is coming for your humanity very soon, likely much sooner than you think. Contemplate that often as it is healthy. Use this information to foster gratitude for what little life you have in this form and do the best you can with the gift Life has given you. Oh, last thing. This notion of peaceful death that you and others I've seen around here have is wishful thinking to a great extent. I have sat with many dying people. Dying is typically both physically and psychologically a hell beyond measure. The moment of death is often peaceful, like a weight has been lifted from the world, but the amount of suffering most go through in the dying process can be extreme. Much of it is self-inflicted. This is why it is good to contemplate and become comfortable with death. This is why this thread is valuable. My advice to all is be sure to die before you die as it will grant you a better life and a better death. What more could we ask for, lol

@Jodistrict Condolences about your father.... Between you and me you are completely correct that it is not uncommon that opioids, more precisely an overdose often of morphine, are a major contributing factor if not the direct cause of death of those in great suffering while in hospice. With that said, all drugs used in pain management are completely optional. The patient or someone with a durable power of attorney for the patient has the right to refuse any drug or treatment. In a quality hospice program alternatives like guided meditation, acupuncture, and hypnotism should be available to assist with pain and suffering. The duty of the hospice team is to the patient as well as their family. Did you bring your concerns up with them? If this has been within the last year you could still reach out to them for some support and/or to offer your criticisms. What would you have had hospice do differently?

@soos_mite_ah In the Absolute the ego simply does not exist. It is not relatively good or bad and it is not possible to fight it or befriend it because It is not Real. Ego is far removed, the survival thoughts of ideas of dreaming dreams, from the Absolute. This "coach/healer/spiritual teacher" should know this, ideally from being It. A step back from the Abosolute the ego, the lower self, is always less real than You, the Higher Self. A well awake human being who wishes to entertain continuing some attachment to ego must be mindful of the way ego operates and vigilant that the Higher Self remains dominant over the lower self. Her criticism of "EGO: Edging God Out" is valid. The idea that is the lower self is as loved and as much a part of the whole of God as the Higher Self and the Absolute itself. It is ultimately all One and all Love. Again though, remember in degrees of densities of reality, ego is at the very shallow end of the spectrum. "Don't fight your ego, integrate it." is overall sound advice. When the seeker "wars" with the ego it is the ego dividing itself and (often endlessly) fighting differentiations of itself, and no matter what egoic identity wins You lose Self-realization. All her talk on integration as opposed to disintegration for healing is shadow work 101, and she is correct. "You can get to God... with your ego, through your ego..... not transcending it." Nope, not even remotely fully. This sounds like something an egoic identity playing at being an enlightened spiritual person would say. The game is to get the ego to embrace it's own demise, not necessarily complete destruction, but it must embrace becoming the dog that sits at the feet of the Good Philosopher King when it was once the mad fool that sat on the throne. Once the ego has been willingly subjugated to that point, often after multiple awakenings, it can be fully transcended and enlightenment can be realized. Then the real work begins, lol. This is an esoteric teaching that you will not hear often, but what makes a true spiritual master is not the complete elimination of ego (that is child's play by comparison) but the mastery of ego. Ego can be tamed, and yes, befriended, and used as the most advanced tool in Creation that it is. A spiritual master can craft and shape egoic identity as needed and then embody and disembody that identity like an actor might a role, except perfectly and as real as any organic egoic identity. Need to "win" any argument, meet any challenge, solve any problem? There is an ego for that. Need to protect, defend, or even become a predator in any way? These are the ego's specialties. Organic egos are largely unplanned, reactive, haphazard messes full of flaws and malfunctions. The egos of the master are beautiful purpose built creations of the mind of God acting through the awake human being. Good times I do not think this sort of thing is what your video is referencing. This person says she was sexually assaulted as an infant or toddler. My heart goes out to her. She basically says that she still has attachment to her ego because of this trauma, and as a power move she is owning that trauma by keeping the attachment to her ego as her protector. Due to a variety of the things she says I believe she is still very attached to her body-mind, and she is clearly attached to her life story and the memory she had in her psychedelic vision ceremony experience or whatnot. She is not very awake. Bottom line. Don't hate or war with the ego. Study it. Understand it. Love it. Weaken it. Transcend it. Only then, for bonus points, befriend it, tame it, and use it to serve You.

The White Buffalo - "The Observatory" This 'Amazon Original' version is the best recording of it imo. A cleverly worded song about seeking and realizing enlightenment.

@Bob Seeker In your situation I would seek a virtual coaching job that I was well qualified for while also working on my independent coaching practice even if it was only doing some brainstorming, planning, and preparation (likely including alot more education). A job like this Student Success Coach ( https://www.indeed.com/m/viewjob?jk=4bf2c77f2e4285d3&from=serp ) is something I could feel confident in doing and it could give me valuable coaching experience. As far as a combination of "learning about and changing systems to help evolve society" and coaching, for better or worse I think executive coaching should be your focus. Somewhere out there in the great wide world there are wealthy (this will help you get paid) powerful people running nonprofit and even for-profit companies, as well as levels of government, that actually want someone to help them change systems to evolve society. If you truly become an expert in this field consider offering your services as a consultant and coach. Find the first few of these executives, get evident results and bring excellence in service, and more will find you for the rest of your career. You should not need many of these types of clients at once to have a successful specialized practice like this. Leo makes excellent points and everything he says is spot on. An independent practice coaching young people as you say is likely a non-starter. Going to work for an institution where the young people you coach are essentially a captured client audience is far more realistic and the paychecks will be steadily predictable. One of the toughest parts of getting a new service business like the one you are suggesting off the ground (I'm assuming you don't have much startup capital) is the rollercoaster of feast or famine cash flow. In my opinion 23 is young for a general life coach and very young for an executive coach. Many clients will likely be put off by your age and their perception that you lack experience and the wisdom born of experience. Do what you can, within reason, to look "mature". Consider a beard? Do you wear glasses? Definitely dress professional and mature, old even in a suit and tie or a sweater or turtle neck prehaps, lol. I would draw the line at dying your hair gray or anything deceptive like that. Authenticity is too important. Work hard, be smart and persistent, and you will find your way in the world.

@BlurryBoi Yep, you've got it! Happy to help.

@BlurryBoi Great Question! First, please understand that the ancient Stoics were pioneeringly deterministic. The dichotomy of control is deterministic philosophy. What must be differentiated between is external and internal causation. Externals are seen as completely out of one's control, completely deterministic. Internals are seen as deterministic but less so because a human mind can be prepared in advance by disciplining it to a virtuous character with wisdom, reason, ethics, and courage that will enable high quality responses to adversity rather than inflamed emotional reactions. There may be the appearance of contol of mental impressions and they may even be spoken of conventionally as controllable relative to externals, and while more controllable than externals, internals are still ultimately determined... except.... ...The most advanced teaching on this subject is that in paradoxically giving up all illusions of control the divine Logos can express itself through the highest Nature of a human to grant a contol of Mind so powerful that nothing can disturb its peace. Happy Stoic studies my friend

@Alex bAlex Many large hospitals and medical universities have entire departments or robust programs dedicated to the study of bioethics and medical ethics of which the subject matter of your question is a major topic of inquiry and debate. You may be unaware, but it is everyone's right, at least in the US medical system, to have a legal document called a "Living Will". This document tells one's family and medical providers exactly what procedures and drugs one does or does not want in efforts to save their life in case they are incapacitated and unable to otherwise communicate their desires. If you are able to communicate your wishes about end of life care you of course may refuse anything used to preserve or extend your life that you wish. Living Wills often get into the specifics of degrees of life support, end-stage conditions, vegetative states, and terminal situations. In addition or instead of a Living Will (although we would really like you to have a Living Will too) you can also ask your doctor for a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) and/or a Do Not Intubate (DNI) order. These orders will go into your medical records to ensure that if you die in the care of that medical institution, they will not try to bring you back. Then, there is hospice, a place and/or service dedicated to palliative care for those near the end of life so they may die naturally and with dignity. Comfort, compassion, and often pain management as death is embraced free of life prolonging drugs and procedures is what hospice is about. Anyhow, these are some of the available options for death in our current medical system. Suicide and assisted suicide are related but different complex topics and I have no time to address them right now. Maybe later if you are interested.

@GreenLight Pessimism much my friend? The best news I can offer is that it has been both my repeated observation and experience that major awakenings are often preceeded by feeling completely like lowly miserable shit. Please DO NOT harm yourself or others, but see if you can fearlessly embrace this leaning towards self annihilation. Enlightenment actually can solve all of this, just not for you, because after enlightenment You and your worldview will be radically different. I have taken Leo's life purpose course and I must tell you it is not in any way directly about enlightenment. It is a very sober practical coaching course for learning to live a more complete satisfying life by clearly identifying your deep desires, strengths, and motivations while helping you set goals to fulfill your life purpose/career/lifestyle after helping you discover it. Yes, you sound like a prime candidate for the Life Purpose Course. It helped me for sure. Be aware, it is Alot of work, but if you put in the effort you will gain great clarity about what you are supposed to do in life. Oh, give up comparing yourself to your peers or anyone else. It's a foolish egoic game. Yes, doing stuff you hate can build character, make you mentally, emotionally, and even physically tough, and if you go about it right, extremely empathetic and loving. How do you take the action for all of this? To quote the greek goddess of victory, "Just do it!". I find that's often the best way to get started anyhow. Have you considered and exhausted all possibilities of installing or maintaining electric lines/systems in the wilderness or very rural areas prehaps? Can you think of a way to ply your new trade in a natural setting? Maybe start your own business doing so if nothing is available as a contractor or as an employee. The normal advise I would give to someone who seems as contemplative but troubled as you is to work hard at fostering more gratitude in your life. Like enlightenment but likely far more accessible, a well developed sense of gratitude can also solve most of your problems by more subtly shifting your worldview. Anyhow, I would definitely try the life purpose course if you really want to "find an external purpose". That's largely exactly what Leo created it to help you do. If everything looks terrible, try looking at it from some different angles. That's my two cents. I hope this is somehow helpful. May fortune favor you GreenLight.

@Flowerfaeiry Efficiency is everything for folk in our situation. I must say I don't hate my FT job, but it can be hi stress and very demanding. I also currently attend graduate school PT as well as do volunteer work and live a lifestyle in accordance with my LP. My advice to you is embody your LP in everything you do including working your job. It may take great creativity on your part to do that, but you sound very creative to me. If at all possible change your frame of reference so you no longer hate your job or change jobs. Beyond all that, just lead an ultra efficient life with your LP as highest priority. I highly recommend minimalism and keeping things as simple as possible. Best wishes

@StateOfMind Such mantras or affirmations program your subconscious to drive you to make "better" decisions when it comes to gaining and retaining money. Our society is so money focused that you likely need no further self programing for making money. This doesn't mean you shouldn't work on having a healthy relationship with money, but that is another topic. Money affirmations do indeed work but not without some work, lol. They must be paired with money gaining efforts and, I can't stress this enough, those efforts should ideally be as high in ethical quality as possible. The affirmations will typically drive the frequency and intensity of attachment and desire (if this sounds bad from a spiritual seeker perspective that's because it is) to money, but not the quality of the motivations for money or how to gain it. Money affirmations have the potential to make one more selfish, greedy, and even criminal. A low consciousness person engaging in intense money gaining affirmations will begin to see and be tempted by every opportunity to lie, cheat, and steal their way to riches. I'm not saying that's you of course, but recognize there is a playing with fire aspect to these affirmations. Efforts at gaining material wealth should be paired with a high consciousness career path and visualization exercises related to such career paths and the elevated ethically mature outcomes of being wealthy.