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So, are you saying that everyone else does not exist, only I exist, or you depending on how you want to look at it, and I/you play only one part in the dream?

Hey Dash, it would be nice to here about some of your awakening/enlightenment experiences and your journey. I am intrigued.

you have some great posts my friend.

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "Maybe," the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed. "Maybe," replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Maybe," answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "Maybe," said the farmer.

Wow that's quite some sacrifice. :) Where do you live? I'm trying to get similar work to you but I live in a major city in England where 99% of the jobs are within an office, so getting away from society is proving very difficult for me.

Who you really are seeks/needs nothing. The seeker is the ego. You aren't the seeker, you are the watcher. The watcher does not need anything extra or anything less, it just takes everything for what it is and simply watches, sits back and enjoys the ride. :) Just my opinion anyway

This guy is still associating with his ego. I think he believes he is some sort of spiritual messenger and his work here is now done. He's experiencing ego death and confusing it with actual physical death. He talks about something he has experienced beyond awareness that is the 'creator' of awareness, infinity I think he calls it. I think perhaps he was never really awake and awareness to him was a concept. Now he's actually had a taste of real enlightenment/awareness he is labelling it has 'infinity' and 'home'. He talks about purpose and meaning and desires and excitement and that there is none of this within the physical realm for him anymore. His ego is clenching on for something.

Lol its definitely a hoax my friend.

Your argument works both ways. A highly confident, happy person is deeply anxious. They just don't know it because they are so identified with their ego. The ego is terrified, so it makes up an intricate, convenient story which it lives by at all costs, putting itself under huge pressure to live up to and surpass others expectations. It becomes hugely hostile against the questioning of it's story. The egoic world is also an escape for the anxious person.

In all honesty, this might go against most opinions here but, if you have a family, as in you have children.. Especially young children.. Trying to be free of your ego might not be the best path to take whilst they are young...

Siddhartha had an alternative view on guru's.

Can you describe your meditation process? Do you feel any peace during meditation?

The dynamics of your family during childhood often have a huge impact on who you choose as a partner. For instance, sometimes a girl who didn't have a good relationship with her father growing up will seek out a partner who also resembles a father figure to fulfil what was missing from her childhood. However this probably isn't real love. Like you say real love is unconditional..

I am not sure I understand what you mean...

What is the reason you don't get on with your family? Also I like what Leo says. The only thing I can add to this is that when I was in your position I didn't know what I wanted from life, because I didn't know who I was as a person... You have to find yourself.

I agree with what sigma is saying but also, How can you create healthy judgements without working to minimize the ego? My ego was huge. I spent the last 10 years chasing things I thought I wanted only to find it was ego that wanted this. Only after spending time meditating have I begun to see my better direction.

Its good that you want to reach enlightenment first. If you reach enlightenment do you think this may affect your other goals? I would say cars, nice house and girls may not be on top of your priority list anymore...

My dream is to save enough money to buy a sail boat and go sail the world. I need 60k gbp. I also need to find a way to fund myself whilst travelling.

What is your relationship like with your family?

how long have you been practising meditation/self enquiry for?

I've always known that I had issues but until recently I've only just begun to discover how to really tackle them. A good book to read is Nathaniel Branden's 6 pillars of self esteem. This is probably the only self help book that's had any impact on me. Leo also has some good videos "How to stop caring what other people think" I'm working on my purpose at the moment but to honestly discover what you want to do with your life first you have to cut out all the mind chatter. This means minimizing that ego as much as possible. You aren't your ego and all those messages that it tells you. That's just conditioning from the environment you grew up in and society. So if you don't start to work on minimizing this ego, you will just end up on another crazy path trying to please others rather than yourself.. If you want to fast track this entire process then you need to start meditating. it sounds crazy but it works.

I used to wash my hair a few times also before I got it right ... AND IM A GUY LOL It's definitely a vanity thing

I know I'm a guy but I suffered from this a lot when I was younger. If you are anything like how I was then you base your identity around your looks. I was very shy as a kid so making sure I looked good was my thing, it became part of who I was, my identity. If I didn't look good one day I would be depressed and wouldn't want to leave the house as I felt like I'd lost my self worth/identity. I was also desperate to have/maintain a relationship, but I'd never end up with the girls that I really liked because deep down I was insecure/shallow. As you get older your looks will fade so you are on a path to self destruction. My advice would be to find yourself a goal/purpose and start making progress towards it, this will help reform a new identity and you wont rely on looking good to make yourself feel fulfilled. Another thing to try would be meditation. Doing this will help you become less identified with your ego and care less about what others think. And if you don't relate to this then ignore everything I just said LOL

Over the past couple of days I've noticed a few things - If I don't put full effort into my meditation session, I pay for it over the following 48 hours in the sense that I become less aware of my ego and its games. For a good part of the last couple days my ego has been steering the ship and I've been unaware of it until now. The other thing I've realised is that I can't get traction on non duality awareness all the time.. And the kind of initial peace that I had after realisation (although there was a degree of fear that came with this) has now worn off... I'm starting to feel like the traction can't be forced, and it will just pop up now and again so long as I'm doing self enquiry and contemplating reality. Its a bit disappointing as I was in another world a few days ago, even if I was a bit scared. It was peaceful. Anyone else experienced this? Any tips?