omfar001

@Princess Arabia well sure you are right i need to get to the root of this. But i am still not sure if insecurity and scarcity of girlfriends is the reason of me being upset of her when she posts revealing pics on Instagram. I am still open to that idea and possibility, maybe i am indexed insecure and that's why i gwt upset over these things and get upset if she had a very close male friend. So i need to get sure first that this is the reason before go even deeper.

@Nabd Well i read what you said and your point of view is what i have been growing up around since i was young, this is the conservative men point of view and i grew up in a conservative/religious society with conservative friends and family so i comprehend your opinion. Thank you for sharing your opinion on this, and i am still interested to hear other points of view from other wise people from other backgrounds too. My goal here is to reach the truth about this situation and end my dilemma.

@Migue Lonas Hmmmmmm you are saying the reason that i might be controlling and protective in that way is because i find it hard to get a girlfriend and not super easy so i try to be protective and controlling to prevent the possibility of her leaving me ? ......... of course i am talking here about my subconscious mund because i don't think that way consciously. Well it's a nice idea to consider if that what you mean thank you.

Makes sense, but yeah i am still in dilemma if i should keep that part i discovered about myself or not. If i should just look for a girl that suits my standards and criteria or i should work on changing my standards and criteria.

@petar8p i guess i didn't knew enough about myself at that time, also with time the relationship starts to get more and more serious and breaking up becomes hard. Also a part of me saw her as a good person so i didn't break up because of such a thing. So i always tried to avoid talking about this topic and i made some compromises and she made some compromises but the topic kept opening up over and over again because non of us was able to compromise too much ch.

Well, i guess you can find a woman that doesn't have those qualities you mentioned. "dumb, childish, too emotional, most of them are low value doing some bullshit activities, living in their delusional bubble" But from those things you say about women i smell the ideology of red pill. Which is an extremely toxic ideology that you need to be aware of and how it can ruin your relationship with women. And regarding your mom i am really sorry to hear that, wish you can heal from this past and heal your relationship with women, because it's worth it.

Hi @mr_engineer, thank you for your answer and sharing your boundries and your personal view on this i appreciate it. Regarding the answer i am not sure if i was trying control my girlfriend by telling her what to post and what to not to post because i am in competition with other men and how my society will view me if my woman was promiscuous, it can be the reason i need to contemplate that, because in my arabic culture your honor and how the society sees you is related how your woman acts, and if she is promiscuous or hanging around with other men then you don't look very good in my culture, i need to dive deeper into this and think about, thank you for bringing it to my mind. Of course even if this is the reason i do it unconsciously because on a conscious level i believe you should not care how others see you. Regarding the second part of the answer that talks about cheating/being worried she likes other men and so on, i am not sure if i can relate to that because actually the girl i was with was a good person and educated and i trusted her from that side.

@Razard86 I don't think your answer is wrong, thank you. But i have an issue with it. Yes what you are saying is possible. I can change my beliefs and convince myself that even having a porn start girlfriend is ok and justify it and live happily with that decision. But is this correct to do? I mean if i am going to change my mind and beliefs anyway then i would rather change them to the right/rational thing. And i believe there is right and wrong in this i don't think it's all nice and cool. Of course you can convince yourself with anything and live happily with it but i think the right think is still gonna be there.

@Razard86 please look at my response above

Thank you i think those resources are nice i watched the video but didn't check the article yet. I see it as reasonable but i still have a question, he said if it's your values and boundaries then remove yourself from this relationship but then i don't see it as the best solution because when i was a religious person years a go (now i am more spiritual in same directionas Leo after starting to follow him) i would have wanted to get a girl with hijab but now i am happy that i didn't stick to those values and opened up my mind to new possibilities. Yes i am still kind of conservative but far from a conservative Muslim. So my question is what if your values are bad and you need to get rid of it ? Or are they good and you need to keep them ?

@Merkabah Star well answering your your comment, it's not like what you mentioned i don't want to date provocative girls then try to control them or only have sex with them and not date them also i don'twant to go be in a relationship with a conservative religious girl just because she will do what i tell her because i am neither conservative nor religious, and on a higher level i don't think that i should control the girl i am with and i don't think that the fact that she is trying to wear revealing styles and post them on Instagram is necessarily a bad thing i also understand that this is her culture and how she is brought up and all her friends do the same or even more. But as i said above about my background i can't help but feeling bad about those things and not be ok with them since i was brought up in religious family and society. And my question to leo and everyone is this a bad thing in me or is it just my culture and i should accept it and look for someone who is compatible with me and that's it maybe a girl like me which is not religious or conservative but at the same time doesn't wear revealing clothes and post them online.

@Raze thank you though.

@Merkabah Star are you ok ?

@Raze i don't think answers my questions or related to my case.

Q Hahahahhahahhahah hi everyone i am back after 3 years, i finished my master and now i am engineer working in the same company that i made my master thesis in and i have written alooooot of code and the whole master thesis report. I think the biggest thing that helped me is identity change, i basically kept telling myself i can do it i am engineer, i am smart and i can do anything. And the rest are details. But i am still in the search of my real purpose. But at least now i have the belief that i can and that i am able to go through anything and tackle it.