Jayson G

@Leo Gura I had an LSD trip where I knew I was me, my identity was intact, but I couldn't recognize the context of what was around me. Like I was in a building and nothing changed in terms of visuals, but contextually nothing made sense. Also later that trip when I was going to sleep I closed my eyes and it felt like I was watching all kinds of horror movies, and like I was kinda physically moving through those. I did have some bits of panic in these scenarios but mostly I was fine and not freaking out. Is this what you would call some light degree of insanity, or just as some parts of this trip being bad? Not sure what you're referring to when you say insanity actually.

Yeah I was doing some thinking on this after our conversation, I realized I definitely do need strictness, and actually enjoy that. Could be this part of development in my life. It's reliable, highly effective, and many other great things. Though exploring non-strictness actually mentally opened more doors for me, and Im seeing new ways of living right now.

I've been trying to integrate various success road maps, much of it which is on actualized.org, recommended books, and interviews and such on YouTube from successful people. I'd start by saying I watched Leo's "valuable things require development over time" video atleast 50+ hours of just this video. This for me is the most important success advice. Based on this roadmap, a life plan could look like this Daily routine, Training program - Morning routine focused on health, emotional mastery and consciousness - 4 hours life purpose - Evenings or weekends working on your relationships, social skills, etc. And you basically do this training program for decades, constantly iterating it on a daily, weekly and/or monthly basis. This training program being like a system, that you constantly iterate (imagine like a machine that you improve bit by bit, or a system like in systems thinking) Now say you do this training program for 10 years. In the "valuable things require development over time", the main principle Leo states is: "slow, steady consistent investing on a daily basis for years and decades", that you shouldn't be 1-year minded, but 10-year minded say. But where the conflict comes for me, is in the Life in chapters and phases video, as well as leo's recent advice to someone is that you sort of spend a few years on one chapter, a few years on another chapter. Like a few years on wealth, a few years on health, a few years on relationships, a few years on spirituality, etc. Wouldn't the few years be short-term, impatient, foolish thinking? But if I dig deeper, it might be foolish to expect really high results in a few years, even if its possible. But, to make a distinction, you could also just take a few years to just focus and get that part handled in your life such that by the end of a few years you may not have serious results in that area, but rather you have that aspect locked down in your life, such that you have the right training program in place, sort of automated that you're on the right path to expect great results over 10 years. On the other hand, if you did mean 2 to 4 years say for a chapter to get masterful results or serious results, then wouldn't that be impatient, obsessive, over-working? If the idea is to invest daily, bit by bit, drop by drop, then how can you get great results in a few years? To get such results you'd have to work really hard over those few years. In trying to integrate all this, my current road map is this: Slow steady consistent investing, on a daily basis, a 10 year plan. A 10+ year training program, where I do yoga 30 mins daily for 10 years, a solid meal plan daily for 10 years, etc. and every week I'll be iterating this training program. But also, Im considering this training program as a "base", and I'll also be implementing the life in chapters and phases concept, where I will be focused on one chapter at a time, but I will always have my base. This chapter would be built on this base. So I'll be out socializing on the weekends, pursuing my life purpose on the weekdays, but my chapter is life purpose right now. But even if my chapter is life purpose, I don't abandon my base. I don't abandon my socializing practice on the weekends. I don't abandon my healthy meal plan. And when I'm on my socializing chapter, I still have my base of healthy meal plan, kriya yoga, life purpose, etc. But then how hard do you work during each chapter, if the idea is to do slow steady consistent investing? @Leo Gura or anyone, if you could shine some light on this, how you integrated this, thought about this, any insights, etc. would be greatly appreciated. I've actually been thinking about this for years, integrating this for years, literally, as a top priority. I'm doing pretty good with my training program and mastering it, but would still like clarity on this. I do see the importance of focusing on one goal at a time though. I can attribute a lot of my lack of success to not focusing on one main goal. But then im concerned because a single goal could take a lot longer than I thought, and think maybe I should equally focus on many areas of my life.

Hmm, interesting points to think about. Lol, ironically I put "Strict, Fixed Schedule Training Program" as my number 1 success principle. I never considered that this strictness is bad. I'm going to have to look into this deeper, a pretty new idea to me to be more messy and organic. But I can already sort of see its value. Scary though to abandon some of this strictness.

@integral Yeah I felt that too

I was watching this movie by Tom Hanks, then took a break to look into the actual incident and found this. What's incredible is how he used his intuition, strategy, calculations, best guesses, all his decades of experience to do the impossible, land on the hudson river with all passengers being perfectly fine, while being relatively pretty calm. Honestly really inspirational for the pursuit of mastery. What really struck me, is he talks about how they weren't trained for this ever, how he never had direct experience with this, but how everything just came together to do this impossible task despite never having experience with a water landing. I'm not sure but I think he said it was just discussed in class, that's it.

@Leo Gura really helpful, appreciate it ... from one perspective, sometimes, its like im a 2nd grader ease dropping on a 10th grade teachings class and taking it overly to heart lol

@Leo Gura I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now, do you still see "a lot of" value in reading the books on your book list? One primary purpose I'm developing in life is to understand life, reality, myself. I'm guessing there's still a ton of value in those books, even the spirituality books? I'm just wondering like it takes a lot of careful listening, understanding, etc. to read that tantra book for example on your book list. I just want to see if its worth the time, as all this is a whole project. I'm personally just not ready for psychedelics and feel like that is atleast 5 to 10 years away in my development, but at the same time I do want to make significant progress in all other areas of development in my life right now. I recall you saying earlier in one of your replies, that "all human spirituality is wrong" .. but also in a recent reply that it is not wrong per say but lesser. Just some clarity on this would be appreciated.

I've been wanting to take my spiritual practices to a next level by taking kriya yoga seriously, and replacing it with my current meditations, and basically aim to go deeper in spirituality. And at some point in my development I want to take psychedelics. And I've been hearing Leo say from many angles, things along these lines: if you start to deconstruct your reality, some people end up in mental hospitals. Or that some people stop caring about their survival as they go deeper in spirituality. Or that you're trading your current form for a higher form. If all this is true, then how do you survive? is spirituality even worth pursuing if survival is also very important to me? Yet there are many spiritual people who have survival down, to the fine details, like Leo and Sadhguru and others. How do they do it if spirituality contradicts with survival? Would appreciate any insights regarding this. Here's my current ways of thinking about this: I'd imagine taking care of survival even at high levels of spirituality is a conscious choice, and those who care will care, and those who don't, won't. That's a choice, and if I care now, I can care later. Also those who end up in mental hospitals, don't have guidance. They haven't read the books, listened to different perspectives, etc. And when you go to this higher form, your experience of reality just gets re-contextualized. So you kind of have both forms, which allows you to pursue survival as well. Would that be accurate? From one perspective, I'd imagine I'd take care of survival better, because I actually appreciate the beauty of life, the gift of life.

@Leo Gura can kriya yoga take you to true awakening?

where the heck is the full david grusch interview, i dont see it anywhere .. is there possibly a hidden source

Appreciate it I'm glad, was hoping some would I believe it was between the 50 min to 1:10 hour mark, he definitely provided some new insights on OCD there I don't think I'm mature at all, that was a slight boost in maturity in my overall growth So real man, I do admit I let a few or so tears out that day lol when I realize just how much the love of a parent is I agree that problems with the parents are a normal thing, that's comforting to hear.

I woke up this morning, like every Sunday morning, and the first thing I do is check if Leo released a new video. My eyes widened as I saw his new video, and immediately got excited. But I was like "maturity" thats kinda boring. I wanted something more exciting. But I love all of Leo's videos so I knew I had to really pay attention, and I did have a slight inclination this would be beneficial. A bit background, I made an identity out of immaturity. I didn't even know that. Being cool, being wild, not giving a fuck, the list goes on and on. As I was listening, I slowly observed myself getting more and more into the video. Then around the 22 minute mark, not sure exactly, Leo was talking about how when you're born, there's an immediate big shift in maturity in a parent, and how a parent goes through massive sacrifice and maturity. My dad and I have a relationship where we don't talk much. He's very loving though. He always took care of me. He RARELY ever complains, and I complain a lot to him. I get triggered at the little things he does. He's patient with me. Sadly I'm 27. And I'm not like this with everyone. With literally everyone I'm the patient one, I'm calm, kind, etc. but with my dad I hold a lot of resent. Immediately when Leo said these things, I realize how much love my dad gave me. So I'm driving the car at this point, listening to Leo, and turn back around to go home and make things right with my family. My parents literally cook, clean, pay the bills, everything. I avoided all responsibility, and give them shit. It's honestly embarrassing typing all this. But I went home, and started to make commitments with my dad about how I can help in the house, help with the businesses he's doing, cleaning around the house, etc. It wasn't out of compulsion, It was genuine. A realization that I need to step up, take more responsibility, and done with 0 complain in my mind, instant calm realization, effortless. At some point in the day, I'm driving from NJ to Phili to socialize, do approaches. Keep in mind, I'm still at the 22 minute mark. And as I'm driving, after a long time I feel really peaceful, genuinely happy. I had no resistance in doing what needed to be done, the right action, that is socializing. While I was socializing, I was shocked that I had absolutely 0 social anxiety, and held conversations for long, something I've always struggled with. Here's the really shocking thing for me. And you won't really understand until you have OCD. I have been suffering from OCD so much over the years. It feels like every days a war with myself in a sense. I feel like I tried everything, but today, literally all day since Leo's video, I have been incredibly peaceful, a 95% reduction in OCD. And not just for 5 to 10 minutes, but ALL DAY. You have no idea what that feels like. And as I was coming home from phili, I was listening to the rest of Leo's video, and I heard him get to the OCD part, and its weird because my OCD stopped before Leo even mentioned OCD. What I noticed was that living from a place of maturity, acting the principle, AUTOMATICALLY made everything fall into place. It automatically broke the cycle of OCD for a long period. On a more meta level, what's been happening is I've been clinging to immaturity. Glorifying it. Romanticizing it. I noticed that is what everyone around me is doing, literally painting it as a good thing. A lot of music and movies that I looked upto romanticize it. When Leo took me on this trip realization of just how critical maturity is, what happened inside me is a lot of "cycles" broke - cycles of fear, silly emotional games, childish behavior, OCD, etc. I noticed myself becoming more of a man. I actually was always like "being a child is amazing, I have to keep being a child" - id tell myself this constantly, in many ways this broke. These cycles automatically broke. I didn't have to force it, will it, try, nothing. Now I don't know what tomorrow and the future holds, but I'm going to run with this principle of maturity and see where it takes me. Whats weird is even now there's nothing really exciting about this. Yet at the same time I feel a leap in growth already. It's not like this is a glamorous principle, something like courage or fighting a dragon or whatever. But this simple principle holds a lot of power.

I've been through an existential crisis before, for 9 months of like horror. I think I get how you're feeling, obv I don't think yours will last that long lol But damn thats wild that a simple video did that

@Blackhawk What happened? was the video that powerful? Just trying to see if its safe to go ahead and watch

@Leo Gura Sweeeet

@Leo Gura What would be your recommendation to minimize the risk then? I'm assuming if I take it somewhat easy with Andy Cutler's protocols, follow what he says properly, I should be good? Also his new book "cleanse to heal" has 3 levels of detox, one is easy, one is medium, and one is hard, according to him. So idk if it can really be that much of "weak sauce" lol .. atleast the hard one

@Leo Gura Is there any risk with Andy Cutler's detox protocol? Like are you saying there is risk with detoxing heavy metals in general, or by implementing specific heavy metal detox protocols? I consider myself somewhat extra cautious, so if there is risk with any of these people, I was considering the detox protocols from Medical Medium

@Arcangelo Bruh I ain't doin 20 ug again with them ... why would I think of doing 100 lmaoo If I do 100 its prob gonna be when I move out or in the forest

So I recently tried psychedelics after 2 years. I took 20 ug in the morning, a microdose, with the intention of greater productivity, and creativity with my work. 30 mins in, I *think* I felt more conscious, I don't know honestly. I started listening to Leo's music meditation playlist for the first time, and that was amazing. But I don't know if the acid had anything to do with that. About 1 hour later, idk I think I felt more "retarded" lmao kind of like when I take weed. I thought I would be more conscious. When I say retarded, I mean I started laughing a lot, for no reason, at everything. I was being all goofy and stuff. All by myself. Then I went downstairs to talk to my mom, but I got a bit socially anxious. That was weird because I heard 20 ug doesn't affect that. Maybe it was my monkey mind. Then I felt like I had all this energy trapped inside me, and I had to release it, so I started doing pushups a lot. (I never do pushups) But then from there, all I did was lay in bed, scroll through Tik Tok for the next 5 hours, in pain because the acid kept amplifying this body pain I've been having (winter, chronic tension in the body) And my monkey mind was so much. Like I couldn't stop it. For hours and hours until I slept. Productivity was absolutely 0 the whole day from the moment I took the acid. Just a lot of physical body pain, and a lot of monkey mind, and a lot of non-productivity. I'm trying to make sense of this. How come almost every report I read shows everyone having great experiences micro-dosing? Why did I feel no benefits of micro-dosing? Why did this make me much less conscious than a typical day? Why were there so many negative side-effects? Like everything was opposite of what was expected. Wanting to be more social? Nope, I was more anxious. Wanting to be more conscious? nope I was much less conscious. Wanting to be more peaceful? Nope, much more monkey mind. Wanting to be more productive? Nope, most unproductive day in a while. Like I'm just glad that's over. It's the next day now. And I feel really great. Mentally very clear. Physically great. Energy high. All better than most days.

@AdamDiC I never thought about it like that .. But you're so right man even outside of the trip I need to be more and think less I'm practically in my head all day lol .. overthinking hella

@The0Self If you guys say so, I'll really consider 100 then. But say in those preceding steps, if I can't surrender for some reason, even though I try my best with an open heart, will I continue to be in some kind of fear the rest of the trip? I may just be overthinking this lol

@AdamDiC I'm actually going to write this down on a piece of paper lol Def the music and dancing I'm generally not an idiot doing stupid shi lmao But what if ego death comes about, or like sucks me in or something (felt like that before on weed) Is there a way to deal with that? I'll try my best to surrender but what if you can't surrender?

@AdamDiC Wow dude this is solid .. Imma do this .. just completely be with myself. No distractions. But what if that gets a little scary? I doubt it would, but is there a way to kind of deal with that fear if it comes up? And 120? lmao I've done about 100 before but idk if I could do that again. Everything was fine, it just feels scary being at such a high dose. Anything can happen. Not tryna be traumatized or die lol

@AtheisticNonduality Why didn't I think of that loll thats a great idea @Lyubov Yeah I think my whole intention was doing better work, but that just made me more stressed. This time I'll focus on meditation and consciousness so I think I should be fine there. @nitramadas Man weed triggers my OCD, I think Imma stay away from that @DualityHurts I'm actually tempted to take more lol now idk .. I think the problem was I wasn't facing my ego before. Now I know better. Hopefully that would help. @Carl-Richard I'm probably not going to take a risk having dinner with the family loll I like hiking in a forest though