Denis_

It depends on the sport. In the past I was a competitive cyclist and a competitive ultra-marathon runner (mostly trails). The cycling scene is plain toxic. The egos are huge. But the trail running is completely opposite: everyone is supportive and generous, even at the competitive national level. Every race was like a love-fest with like-minded nature lovers who long to be lost in the woods for hours (or even days)..

Same here, OP.. When I connect with someone I just dive in and impatiently give them all of myself, with no limits or boundaries... just too intense.. which then leads to burnout and expectation of reciprocity in the intensity of effort from the partner.. Basically for those reasons I just got dumped by an amazing gf of 1.5yrs, an awesome NASA engineer...

Very poetic, thanks. So, basically it means that we should sort ALL of your stuff out before even thinking about kids.. Sounds reasonable. Although my parents had me and my brother pretty early, when their life was super tough and uncertain, and having kids turned out to be a fantastic thing for them... go figure

Now I'm really curious. Which way do you think someone is leaning if they pose this question??

Jordan Peterson's biggest argument for having kids is "you'll get bored to death later in your life if you don't have a family".. This doesn't ring true for some reason.. Is there some merit here?

I agree, seems like a lot of people are using family as their Life Purpose (probably because it's easier to start a family than to develop a truly fulfilling purpose in life).. This does not feel right at all. With this approach we would be no different than rabbits. The Question is - after you realize that YOU and your Life Purpose should always come first, is it worth adding a family to the mix? Is the sacrifice of your time worth comfort and biological instinct satisfaction that having a family provides? I understand that different people have different luck with their family experience, I'm just trying so gauge what are the odds of not regretting it.. So far seems like in the US the chances of having a good experience are rather slim.. @Leo Gura, what's your take?

+1

I couldn't find an answer on the forum regarding having kids. I remember Leo mentioned awhile back that he was a bit unsure about this but ultimately decided against it. What do you guys think? I'm at the point where I'm financially independent and have a life purpose as well (I'm 36yo). Just not sure if I should add a family and kids to my life. I sometimes think of having a family as one of the creature comforts that helps us be in good balance with ourselves. Kind of like taking showers... You don't have to do it, but you would feel more at peace and balanced if you do... Thoughts?