Karmadhi

I do not like the sociaety biases towards extroversion. People assume introverts are anti social people that are shy and have 0 communication skills and that is not true at all. Some great charismatic leaders are natural introverts. You can be funny, charismatic, confident and social while being an introvert. Usually shyness and anti social behaviour comes from some sort of childhood trauma or conditioning, not because one is "naturally introverted". Being an introvert is great, it has a lot of benefits. Just like being an extrovert has a lot of benefits. Both have their strenghts and weaknesses. Both have charisma and social skills. They are just displayed in different ways. Introverts tend to be more socially chill, relaxed, witty etc while extroverts tend to be more loud and all including. Each style is better for certain situations. When someone says to develop extroversion i do not agree with that term. Developing social skills, humour, confidence, etc is NOT developing extroversion. Yes, it is harder for introverts to develop these things than extroverts naturally but it does not mean they naturally will not be able to do so if they interact with people. The whole structure of society is that you have to interact with people, especially during your education.

Are you talking about dating or socialization in general? I have met people that are very social and fun and outgoing that still struggled a lot with girls. Because they lacked things like boldness or that assertive attitude. Their social skills, humor and chillness was on point though. Personally i have done a shit lot of socialization to the point where it is effortless now but dating is still bit of a struggle when it comes to making it man to woman (not the getting to know, comfort, opening up part). I feel like getting better at girls is just a very specific skill set instead of just learning how to be social in general.

This is every Incel's dream

How is your health? Are you still on the carnivore diet? Is it working?@Leo Gura

What the actual fuck????? Murica being murica @Leo Gura This is in Vegas so maybe you can go there to eat a meal

@Gili Trawangan I really enjoy house parties personally. You can easily meet people there and you can have conversations, make jokes, everyone is a bit tipsy and it is overall a great vibe.

@Pudgey It is not just height, that is something not important i mentioned. It is looks in general and most importantly the fact that females give you 0 attention and give it all to the handsome guys, simple as that. You can barely talk to girls in such places and you are basically only left with physical stuff.

Something which helped me to improve my sense of humour on top of the "looking for the funny" tip which leo mentions (amaizing tip btw), is to watch a lot of comedy stuff. Idk why but it really improves your humour, especially the clever one. Just watch quality content and you will subconsciously develop that part of your brain which is responsible for such stuff.

There are guys that do not care about looks that much AFTER the threashhold is reached. They tend to be more feminine regarding dating and need a good personality, especially for a relationship. Personally i care about looks in terms of reaching the threashhold, after that they do not matter that much. Some guys are really visual though so depends. Usually the guys with the most options tend to be the most ruthless regarding looks however often these are not the best guys to date long term. But it will require larger number of guys to screen to find such people. @Ineedanswers

@somegirl Honestly just pay for your own thing and he for his. More simple and less contraversial. Offering to pay as a girl might win you points but it is a bit risky if he takes it the wrong way or if his pride gets touched. So i would just split it. If he offers to pay, do not accept it, if he insists well then maybe accept it but offer to pay the second round or idk something. Yes totally legit. Just make sure u go somewhere u can get physical to make it easier for both of you. Also if you sit somewhere with sofas, suggest to sit on them.

@somegirl Suggest him to sit on a sofa or somewhere next to each other. Then give him a compliment and get close to him slowly. You can even put your head on his shoulder. These should be enough signals for him to want to kiss you. If he doesnt then either stop talking to him or kiss him yourself. A friend of mine was with a girl and lacked the ballz to kiss her, she was the one that kissed him. Then they started dating and were happy. Normally the guy should kiss the girl but a lot of them are scared of it and do not do it. It is more likely for a guy to accept a kiss from a girl than the opposite so trying to kiss a guy is almost guaranteed success. Most of them do not need to be warmed up and feel comfortable and shit like you girls do. I would be the exception but most guys would kiss you the second they see your face if they are into you.

@Leo Gura Where i live there are a lot of guys that are very good looking and tall. I have this feeling of being outmatched by them and it bothers me sometimes especially if i am out and i am in a group with such people and other girls. Like i keep seeing girls give them more attention while i get treated like i do not exist, just as a cool guy. It is really demotivating sometimes. One of the reasons i do not like clubs is that every time i have went there i got treated like i did not exist and all the girls talked and danced with the more attractive guys. It is too loud and crowded to talk with them and attract them with your personality. I basically feel like a student going to a math class with overachievers in math. When you started, did you have this issue also? If yes how did you get over it?

So i have started dating and this is a chance i think i had with a girl recently. I would like to share here the date report. So i met this girl from my class and we started talking during the class break a bit. Then she said she would eat something and i suggested we eat something together. We went to a place near university (i am a student) and we ate something and talked for around 1.5 hours. Then she had to go to work. During the talk i got to know her a bit, she seemed like a pretty cool girl and we also did a few flirtatious stares but nothing crazy. She made this sexual comment once though. Afterwards i went with my day. Around 1am i get a text like "Hey this is X, i found your number on the big group chat hahaha". That group chat has like 200 members so it showed some interest to me. I used this as a chance to arrange a meeting after talking a bit. We managed to find a date and time we were both free and agreed to meet. It was during afternoon but at this point i am quite a begginer so for me even a make out is a big victory. We meet around 1 because at 5 she had to work. At first we ate something and then we went for a drink. She suggested to sit on a sofa and then she put her bag between us. I was like "ok she wants to sit on sofa which is good but then why the fuck do u put the bag between us". It made it hard to get physical. In time i managed to move it away bit by bit and we got bit closer. During the time we were talking, i was making jokes often, making statements, we flirted quite a bit back and forth (nothing crazy though) and also i started to touch her a bit. Like i touched her hand quite a bit and she mine, and also her thigh a bit. We talked about different things, it was a decent balance between fun and playful and also opening up a bit and discovering each other personalities and goals/attitudes/past etc. Nothing deep much but still to create some comfort and feel like you know them for some time. I made sure to incorporate humour and playfulness because i used to be very serious and logical in the past in dates. Touching wise we touched a bit but nothing super crazy. She also indirectly complimented my looks by calling people from my country "so beautiful". The killer mistake i made is that i could not manage to kiss her, i was bit shy and just lacked the balls to go for it. So i could not kiss her on the couch. During the walk to her work i tried to touch her from time to time but nothing much. Afterwards we parted and as an idiot i hugged her instead of kissing her there also. The next day i saw her on class and we talked and made some jokes but after class she had plans. When i tried to arrange another date via text for next week she told me she was busy and shit and when i said "no problem if you find some time to meet before your work let me know a bit before and we can arrange something". She said okay but never texted. Now if i see her in class i say and shit and we talk a bit but she clearly has lost interest. I will try to use this as an opporunity to learn. I am still happy with myself because my dates used to be so bad that just the idea of me flirting, being fun/playful and a bit physical (not much though) is still some improvement. Why do you guys think she went so cold? Like was me not kissing her a killer mistake? What else you think i messed up with? Would appreciate all your responses. Thank you!

@Leo Gura I did all of this though with exception of not kissing. Yes it was not perfect because i am a beginner but i made sure i practiced all the principles you wrote. I struggle most with physical contact, i will focus on it from this point onwards. Verbally i am quite decent and much better than physically. There is quite a gap between my verbal and physical game which i ll try to narrow.

@somegirl "You look quite sexy in this hat". This would be more appropriate flirting in the situation you wrote. "You look like a snack" also could work (minus the cringe haha). Shit like this works, just say that. Easy lol

es i think so too. I would like to know what i could improve so the next date will not be luke warm. There are girls with which i tend to flow well and girls with which the conversation gets stale. This girl we had natural chemistry so i think it was the situation where my lack of game messed it up rather than just no chemistry. i have had dates like that too so i can tell the difference. What could i improve in my game aside going for the kiss to not loose other girls.

@Leo Gura Then why did her behavior change after the meeting? Why did she compliment me and made the effort to go out with me and even sit near me? I do not think we lacked chemistry, we had fun and flirted and stuff. Keep in mind i am still a beginner in this domain, it will not be effortless and crazy shit.

@somegirl If you want you could ve also said "you would look very handsome with such a hat".

@Thunder Kiss We definetly had a lot of chemistry, it is not that issue i can assure you. The chemistry and vibe was not worse on the actual date, maybe even better. It is something else.

@JJfromSwitzerland That is exactly what i am doing. Tbh i do not expect anything will happen with her, i see it as a closed deal. If something happens great but i do not care at this point. I was just curious to get some feedback more than anything about this not happening to me with other girls.

@Arcangelo Yes she seemed quite western in her mindset. I forgot to mention that looks wise she was just okay. Not very attractive but definetly not ugly. I decided to ask for a date when she texted me because i am always up for giving girls a chance to prove themselves with their personalities as long as i find them somewhat attractive. I found it interesting because when i first met her for our date i was like "omg i am not attracted to her look wise, what did i get myself into" but after talking, flirting, touching during the date i started to get properly attracted to her to the point where i would be willing to kiss her. I think i am a bit like a girl when it comes to dating, i need bit of time to warm up and i am very flexible about looks as long as the personality and vibe is good.

So i have started talking to girls and so far i have went out with 3 of them on a 1-1 setting. However i have noticed that i struggle with sexualization and flirting when the meeting is not clearly a date. 1 of the girls i met was clearly into me and with her flirting was effortless. It was very easy and it came natural to me to flirt then with the others. The girls looks have nothing to do with this. It is just that if their attitude towards me is more platonic or neutral, if i am unsure that they even see me romantically i struggle to flirt and sexualize. I am talking here about flirting, not about being fun and playful. I can act fun and playful with all girls. Making them laugh, being goofy, not overly logical etc is no issue. However flirting and sexualization is something that i can only do comfrotably if i know the girl is into me somewhat. Also if the girl acts in a very neutral way, i struggle to change the frame into a flirty/sexual frame. Imagine trying to flirt with a church girl, that is the way it feels to me. I think it is totally in my head since i can flirt much more easily with girls that i know are somewhat into me. Any advice/help?

@Leo Gura Thank you.

It is interesting that out of all the things i have managed to do in my life, this is arguably the hardest for me. Adopting a daily meditation habit, going from very skinny to relatively muscular, graduating from a top 50 worldwide university, living abroad in another country very different from mine, going halfway through the achiever-pluralist transition, learning 2 foreign languages and greatly improving my social skills/humour/likability/confidence. NONE of these things were as hard as learning how to get better with girls. PS: this is more of a self-journal thing i was thinking about yesterday, i am not writting this to brag or anything. I am still a 23 year old jobless kid doing masters, not some successful englightned guru

@Chew211 The whole vibe is different, i cannot explain it. I will try though! @Leo Gura Yes you are right ,The only way i can do it with girls i am unsure of is to talk slowly, smile, flirty eye contact and witty/playful remarks. This is my flirt game at the moment, still beginner. I will try to improve it. Thank you for the advice.