Karmadhi

Plus bro, dating is a brutal, ruthless business. It is not sunshine and rainbows. You will break a shit lot of hearts and your heart will be broken a lot of times too. That is the nature of dating. Of course try to minimize it but sometimes to make an omlett you have to break a few eggs. If you had to break 10 girl's hearts in your journey to getting better with girls you should do it without blinking once. Keep in mind that heartbreak makes people stronger, you are not killing them you know. I am grateful for all my heartbreaks, they made me much stronger emotionally, you should be too if you had any.

Beauty is subjective, do not use "ugly girls" as a phrase please. Just tell them what girls tell to guys when they dumb them. "Im not feeling the same way anymore sorry". Works for girls so it should work for you too. From now on go for girls you are actually attracted to, since you are getting good results with the ones that you are not. Do not assume a more attractive girl will be less likely to be into you.

I really enjoy doing that and meeting new people. However i do not enjoy the making moves part that much. To me it seems as i am doing this to get the girl and hence her love/sex and nothing more. Especially the physical part aka touching her and shit.

How can i develop a vision regarding pick up? I already have decent social skills, plenty of friends and enjoy my life as it is. To me pick up is just about getting laid and doing something that scares you to some extent. Except this there is nothing i see as benefits that i do not already have. How can i reframe it in a way to motivate me where it is not just about the quality of the dating life? I would understand for someone that has bad social skills or very introverted but i already have worked on it years ago and now i am quite comfortable with who i am and do not struggle meeting people and making friends.

How does this work? I honestly am very confused about it. There are girls that are very into me and with those i can make a lot of mistakes and they will still tag along and want to date/fuck me. Unfortunately these girls are quite rare. Then there are other girls (most) that basically cross me out with the slightest "mistake" that i make. MUCH MUCH more unforgiving. How does this work? Why some girls can tolerate "bad game" or mistakes MUCH MORE than others. What determines whether a girl is into you or not. So if a girl is into me she can tolerate worse game than if she is not. What determines that.

What did Trump do actually? I am not American and remember when he was elected in 2016 we were all like, omg trump will ruin everything, it will be so bad etc. But then, nothing happened. Like he had some BS with north korea, iran and EU but no big harm was done (no wars either). It seems to me that his presidency was just meh, blank, no good , no bad done. I am talking from an ignorant european pov here, so idk internally in the USA what damage he did (or if he did anything good). I was expecting a lot worse from him though

If the girl is girly she will be playful and flirty instead of cool and cold. To me the girl in hand is either very shy or just not into the guy a lot. Not saying he cannot turn it around though, he can for sure.

You are right however i am curious, what is the girl's job then? It seems as if the guy has to basically carry the whole date, should it not be more fair if the girl also puts in some effort? It seems to me that if the girl does not put any effort then she must not be very attracted to you in the first place. At least from my limited experience when the girl was clearly into me she sexualized, and did a lot of things to make it effortless for me. Or maybe she was a more proactive girl? Idk honestly.

What matters is not how hot the girl is, but how you think she percieves you! I will give you a personal example. I might be decent looking (5.75-6/10) max and when i interact with attractive caucasian girls i tend to be like you, i feel like they re out of my league etc. However, when it comes to Asian girls i am much more confident and entitled. Why? Because i have noticed due to my appearance (i got baby face), a lot of them find me cute. This has lead to me having this delusional confidence with them and whenever i talk with one, no matter how attractive she is, i feel like she wants me, like i can easily get her if my game is on point. Why i feel this way? Because a lot of them have showed interest in the past. I got this based on my appeanrace but you can also get it based on your game or other stuff. As long as u get positive experience you ll start becoming more entitled. How you get more positive exprience? By talking to a lot of hot girls.

Bro as long as you arent creepy you re good. Just dont approach during the night on the street unless its a super busy area (outside bars/clubs), learn to handle rejection if she is not interested, smile, dress well (VERY IMPORTANT), be casual etc. If you are really really paranoid make sure there arent any cops close when you approach.

What about non-club settings? Same requirements?

Hey guys. I am making this post because i am honestly tired with treated like garbage by girls, like i do not exist and being ruthlessly punished by the slightest mistake i make. I see guys that legit have nothing more than me get laid or have girlfriends but when it comes to me, no girl wants more with me than a first date (if i even get that). At first i thought it was my looks, i tried to improve it (workout and get in great shape, good cologne, good clothes, haircut, gromming etc). I also though it was my personality (tried to improve my humour, flirting, charisma, expressiveness etc). None worked more than a make out or a first date. None made me relationship material or a girl wanting to love me or seriously date me. Having a healthy circle of both male and female friends, life purpose, hobbies, knowledge of a lot of different things, integrity and uplifting others did not help much either (outside being good friend material). Should i just try to go for average or below average looking girls? I just want to be feel desired and loved by someone for once. It is something all my friends have experienced at least once if not multiple times (even if they did not eventually get with those people) but i basically never experienced it. What should i do? I feel like there is nothing wrong with me but at the same time what i have experienced shows me there definetly is. I know guys less confident than me, more logical than me, more serious than me, less social than me, less interesting or kind than me that still got at least 1 girl to love them. Should i just try to go for girls no one wants to date? I know society's "standards" for what makes a girl "valuable" are totally fucked up and basically focus on appearnaces but that does not show anything regarding the person inside. Maybe one of those meh looking girls is a great person inside that just wants to be loved by someone and never got it due to society focusing on the hot girls? Maybe such a girl could love me? I am confused. I need advice please. PS: I have been going out on dates with girls on the last 6 months and outside improving my dating skills to the point where i can get semi consistantly a make out at the end of the date, nothing else changed much. My "game" got better but the girl's desire to properly date me did not improve much and i was always punished really harshly for the slightest mistake. I really doubt every single couple out there, the guy never made ANY mistakes during the whole courting process.

I think usually they are not that into me but i manage to get them with my personality, but because my looks are not good enough they cross me out with 1 mistake because they are not into me. Or is this bs?

It is like that man. However when your ghosted/friendzoned after and do not know why you start assuming it is based on that. Everything i said was an assumption. Plus you really think EVERY guy that goes on a date is super confident about it? You are telling me how experienced guys date however most guys are not that. Yet still they get results. I noticed that when a girl really likes a guy she will tolerate a lot of shit from him on a date. She likes him after all. Usually it is because they find the guy good looking. I am not good looking therefore i get hard mode treatment.

Be playful, make jokes and make the whole interaction non-serious. Try to sexualize a bit (not a lot). These 2 should be before starting to escalate. Afterwards start with the hand (it is crucial to sit somewhat within hand reach of her), find some dumb excuse to play with her hand (or she with yours). Build some intimacy physically with the hand. Then you can touch a bit her shoulder also, hug her a bit etc. Super depends but the hand i think matters a lot (idk why). Then when the girl is laughing and in a good mood you look her in the eye for 2 seconds with a smirk and lean in and kiss her. No double guessing. For me it was SCARY AF the first time but now getting the hang of it. Tbh i have never been rejected a kiss or physical touch in general so i do not know what to do in that case.

Actually during the interaction itself i do not think at all about "making mistakes" stuff. I am lost on the moment, it is AFTER the date that i reflect and say ok maybe i made this this mistake.

@Razard86 My vibe is chill and fun so there is nothing i can think of in terms of vibe that could be an issue.

Yes i agree. I have to managed to reach a point where i can confidently escalate and go for a make out with a girl on a first date, something that seemed alien to me 6 months ago. However, i am really off-putted by the harshness i get from girls regarding every mistake i make. You think if i go out on other dates they will be less harsh as long as my performance is around this level?

@something_else I do talk to girls whenever i can. It is not true that i do not as you claim. How do you think i even get dates? Think about it! I said it again, i know more girls than probably most guys around me. So it is not just a "you do not talk to girls issue". It used to be like that until i started talking to them and asking them out and got like 5 dates in 2 months which did not go anywhere. I have 2 of them written out above in details.

I did that for 21 years, did not work. I focused on other things, did not even get 1 date. Meanwhile at least now i can get dates and even first date makeouts even if they will not lead anywhere. "Focusing on your purpose" in itself wont work if your skills suck. Improve your skills, then focus on purpose. ohhh Dude i am not talking about party guys. Believe it or not most party guys i know do not even approach girls. They just have fun with the other 10 people they go with and that's it. Most guys are not party guys. The number of girls i know is arguably the highest out of all my guy friends and higher than a lot of guys i know so it is not just that. Yes, i did not approach 1000 girls but almost nobody does and they still get some result once in a while. I do not. That is what i am saying. I am not complaining why i am not banging 10s every 2 weeks, i am complaining why i have not managed to get a girl to geniounly want to date me despite having talked to probably more girls than those guys that had 1-2 girlfriends during their life so far.

Basically the issue is that i get ruthlessly punished for small mistakes i make. It is not that i am perfect, it is just that a girl is harsher to me than she would be normally. I will write some examples: 1. A girl ghosted me (kinda, did not want to meet me again), just because i did not kiss her on the first date. Now this is obviously a mistake but i still flirted with her, touched her hand a lot, we sat next to each other, i teased etc. I know plenty of guys that did not kiss on the first date and still managed to get the girl as long as they were not just platonic. Meanwhile i did not get a second date. 2. Another girl i actually managed to make out with on the first date, touched her, flirted a bit, teased a lot, talked for quite some time but she made some retarted shit tests and in her mind i failed them and that was enough for her to cast me out. Example: I saw on her phone that the train she would take to go to her city (she lives in a close town) was on platform 4 when we were on the bar. When we are at the train station going to the platform she asks me if it is platform 3. I tell her: "No, it is platform 4". She says: "No, it is platform 3". I repeat, "it is platform 4, i remember well do not worry". Then she says: "I have it on my phone, it is platform 3, i can see it on my phone". Then i am like: "Fine, if it is on your phone it is platform 3". She gets bit frustrated and goes like : "You should be more confident in your opinion, im trying to make you more confident". She says this legit 20 mins after i go in and kiss her with her not giving me any super clear obvious signs, if this is not confident i do not know what is. She accepted my kiss and then kissed me herself. After the first date she friendzoned me harshly. So out of like 3 hour date i "slip up" once even though the overall was good and that is enough for her to frienzone me. The proof that the rest was good was the fact that she actually accepted my kiss and even kissed me back towards the very end. The next big thing that happened on that date after the kiss was this story with the train platform. So i probably got friendzoned because she did not think i was "confident" enough for her just because of this 1 slip. Quite ruthless imo. These are 2 examples out of many. Usually for a first date i go for a drink at a nearby bar/loungue place near the center. Afterwards usually for a walk (the center is quite pretty) and while walking we might get a waffle or something. I am not advanced yet to lead the date to my place but that is on the works. I tend to prefer to fuck on a second date (if i actually would get one) then on the first date (unless i am meeting a girl from tinder or something). During the date, well it depends. General rule is that i make it positive, fun, playful. Also i try to build some rapport/comfort with the girl and find out what she likes, her dreams, what is into etc. I use this also as a way of screening the girl to see if she would be a good fit. After a while i try to slowly escalate with the girl, at first by touching her hand and if she is receptive slowly escalate to the point where i can kiss her. So far escalations have been smooth, never had issues with them nor been rejected a kiss. I do not do heavy makeouts unless i know i can fuck her but i definetly kiss her.

Your standards play a huge role i think also. I think even a bigger role than your "skill". How do you think guys with 0 game still manage to get girls

Most guys i know do not go to parties regularly or they just go for fun but do not approach spam girls. They just meet a girl however and it clicks for them and that's it. Happens naturally, the girl likes them and they start dating. Simple shit. I want that.

Good stuff but already read them. Helpful but not enough @Raze I have actually been friendzoned even if i was more agressive and made moves and shit. Not just from being overly passive which makes total sense. Thanks man, i also feel the same.

Yes i do what 95 percent of guys do and they all get results and i do not. You think 90 percent of guys talk to 5 new girls a week? I am not saying it is not a solution but it is an extreme measure to take which already shows there is something seriously wrong with you. As i said i will try to though.