PurpleTree

yeah i hope the sky will be clear, i wanna see that

there are many books about it and i'm no expert but i guess it just means that we evolved in groups, we're not particularly strong but as a group we're extremely strong, that's how we hunted other animals, protected ourselves, raised our children etc. built stuff, came up with concepts until we eventually discovered agriculture and built cities, we also build upon knowledge of others, our parents teach us a lot of stuff compared to let's say an octopus which has a very big brain but they don't really teach each other a lot of stuff. Also other people give us feedback, we can bond with them through discussion, bonding, laughing etc. which releases oxytocin and so on. although i'm also somewhat of an introvert who comes from a tiny family and doesn't mind being alone a lot of the time. But you can also get stuck in that when you're not getting a lot of feedback and input etc. On a deeper more spiritual level you can also say those other people are you. So if you feel connected to them it's a kind of connection to yourself. And if you love them it's self-love.

well apparently we're a social animal in this realm so this is hundred of thousands of years of conditioning it's in way like asking why do men like boobs

so you're saying yellow and white people came from other places than earth compared to black people? and how do you know that? and what are some examples of this advanced technology? the stuff they talk about on ancient aliens? stone cutting machines etc.?

So where's that coming from and why do people have different energies?

I just feel like such a creep or a bother when i want to approach a woman, i'm also very sensitive to others peoples feelings. Or when let's say i know a woman from let's say some social circles and we get a long fine but then to make a move out of friend ship makes me feel creepy, leechy kind of. Usually when i pulled women i was veeery drunk or on pills (i'm generally a happy drunk, almost never drank during the pandemic) usually just have to shut my thinking mind almost all the way down. My mind generally is pretty obsessive. Or wait until i get approached, which happens once in a blue moon (not now though, fuck you rona) but then i'd also have to like her and it doesn't happen often. I put myself in the friend zone a lot and getting out of also feels creepy. Also the fear of rejection is almost worse than the fear of death for me and i've heard also for others. And i'm already in my 30s yikes One thing which helps is more acceptance for myself which i'm always trying to work on and maybe also get a clearer life purpose. And also working on people pleasing issues. Also maybe lower my standards a bit and my expectations for myself. Anybody feels like a creep approaching a woman, like you're being bothersome/annoying? Anybody got over that?

^ i'm not talking about the coloured aura thing, i think that's bs

who?

nothing to worry about though also maybe not maybe the way you grew up you just got a negative view of homosexuality and homosexuals and somehow it just popped up in your head.

i think people who are more at risk should be better protected and others should be freer to do whatever

I don't agree with that and think it's very extreme stopped smoking pot from one day to another and i still have friends who do basically daily, doesn't matter to me either way

can you install some lamps for me? me for 2021, probably going back to school. maybe going to a retreat.

yea i want to learn spanish too Hola senor, que tal?

it's decent advice but yea even thinking about it is giving me some kind of constricted breathing. think i'll try it in a different city, i'm also easily embarrassed and ashamed etc.

he should chill a month at a beach in a hut without internet etc. maybe hawaii

You know i have approached before and have gotten some good feeedback etc. but in those times usually i was drunk, in the right mood, and most things aligned. Now with the pandemic there are no parties and doing it in a store, on the street etc. feels so leechy and awkward i'm not sure i can do it. Would be great though.

the thing is, i don't take it really serious, like astrology etc. it's just fun to play with such things imo

either everything is empty of meaning or nothing. this was mostly fun, how is it empty of meaning?

have you done that and it helped making you feel like less of a creep doing it? parts of me yes other parts no. but generally i think yes. coming from a somewhat broken-ish home i'd like to make it better. i'm also really afraid of commitment though and fear getting into the "wrong" or a bad relationship and then being stuck. the parts of me that don't want it and are afraid, are sabotaging me i feel what if you already know the person for a longer time, then it's a whole different thing.

I thought about it because yesterday at night there were many christmas trees standing on the sideway. And i thought it would be soo funny if i "borrowed" a smallish one of them and brought it to my friends place as a decoration. When i tried to lift it up a twig hit me directly in my open eye and hurt quite a bit, i still feel it a bit today. I thought that's instant karma for trying or thinking about "borrowing" this tree. My friend who doesn't care about spirituality in the slightest liked the idea and took an even much bigger one and brought it home, without any harm being done to him. But there were also other incidents in my life where i thought the universe doesn't want me to do some stuff. .

like if you push the red nuclear button in a zen way for example?

also many stories which people looked at as "conspiracy theories" turned out to be true after some time or decades. conspiracy theory is a crappy term imo

even if there is the potential for sex/dating i think men and women can totally be friends friends imo are people who you can count on, and sometimes you can count more on a women than on a man for example. some women are more honest than some men etc. it doesn't really have anything to do with gender

hug a PurpleTree jk i will find a tree to hug laters

that's some good stuff thanks Preety for taking the time here might also lie an issue, see i do think my intentions are mostly "good" but i also know the devilry inside of me (like it is in everybody else) i know that i have a huge fear of commitment, so if i might like the women maybe deep down i'm thinking she's be better off without me. sometimes good intentions can also lead to a "bad" outcome. i did have a good number of female friends over the course of my life but right now there's maybe only 3 or so female friends which i talk to on a regular basis, not a huge number, this covid is also killing my social life. yea if i could do it while being tipsy that would be alright imo (not great) but i have to generally get reeeally drunk to shut the mind down, which is a bit dangerous in itself. a lot of this people pleasing, limiting beliefs and anxiety crap probably comes from being "raised" as an only child by a single mother who wasn't always very mentally stable. so from very early on i felt responsible for the "bad" feelings from my mother. then started smoking weed daily from a very young age onwards in a way to self medicate which in some ways numbed the feelings but in some ways just worsened the issues over the long run. so those things are pretty deeply ingrained and hard to get rid off, entangled onion layers