PurpleTree

or a MSGA hat make sirius great again and they love their populist candidate HFzugiuzhiurf1+%

cacao is love that's what i'm drinking right now

they're boomers

actually not necessarily funny enough in some european countries sometimes the younger generation of immigrants are more criminal, more religious and less integrated than the older generation. the first generation or the second might have tried hard to integrate and did fairly well. and then some younger generations are more disillusioned and might become religious fanatics etc. isis showed that too

many people had covid and didn't even realise it or had almost no symptoms

why not write the gist of it out here.

alright so the two nightmares i've had two or three days ago i think it was full moon, which influences my sleep sometimes and i was also in the sauna that day, which makes me sleep worse sometimes So in the first one there was a guy that i know/knew, very tough guy i went to school with his brother and i had a fight with this guy once, the guy did a lot of dirt and stabbed someone in a fight, needless to say i don't like this guy and think he's scary So in the dream he just attacked me from the front, i couldn't defend myself, it was night and he just slashed my face multiple times with a carpet knife. The cuts felt extremely real and went really deep. So when i woke up my pulse and adrenaline were very high. Then i thought is this dream trying to tell me something. But i didn't know anything smarter to do then just stay with the fear and try to feel it and let it go. So in the second dream i was on a meadow laying on a picnic cloth there was one other person on the picnic cloth, don't remember who. It was a sunny day. So i saw a tick on the cloth walking. And i'm scared of ticks because of lymes disease etc. So i tried to make sure that the tick doesn't get on me. But then i lost him and didn't see him. Then i had the fear that the tick is on my back doing his tick stuff and i can't take him off and i woke up still thinking it might be on my back and was scared. The funny thing about the second dream is that i think that it was one of those small cute red bugs with the black dots (don't know the name in english) but it totally represented a tick in the dream. Weird how things can represent other things in dreams or how we be so sure about things in dreams and when we wake up they don't make sense

that's fine no worries, i've had that since childhood before and after the weed. yup i remember i'll tell ya later gotta go to work nows.

I'm a crazy dreamer. So much so that my first memory of my life is a dream when i was about 2-3 multiple dreams a night, also often nightmares. also had a period with lots of sleep paralysis and other weird stuff when dreaming/at night i remember 2 nightmares from 2 days ago, pretty vividly when i was doing the pot i almost never dreamt but my sleep was perfect now i often can't sleep or wake up too early

what are you going to teach though?

I'm sorry but i do think it's partly because of immigration. Sweden even though once being wikings and tough mother f'ers and stuff became soft-ish and comfortable when they became developed. Many of those criminals come from war torn countries and have lots of trauma and have seen more violence, get hit by their fathers and are more violent. Swedes probably often don't want to fight till their death, they don't even have it in them, but some of those people from those regions do want that. It's often just not a great mix imo. I've seen it in my country as many kids from my soft-ish, developed country were bullied by immigrants or kids from immigrants from "harder" environments like the balkans, turkey, middle east and so on. And the teachers never really helped because they were so soft. how do you solve it? We (western european soft-ish countries) probably have to become tougher, which sucks because i want us, europe, the world to move into the direction of love and oneness not of becoming tougher

in some ways i'm a sucker for beauty like silly symmetrical faces and so on but also many other things which aren't classical "beauty" i can find very beautiful and interesting in terms of looks and in terms of character i also find many things inspiring and beautiful like if a woman can be funny at times or classy, loving, good hearted, gives off a vibe of pride things along those lines

good luck

I really get his point in todays world with mental health issues on the rise things like vanity, fomo, so many options are part of what make people unhappy although i also really do enjoy my hair and clothing styles and such it's imo part of the fun of a colourful life but i think it would be great for basically everyone to go into a monestary or something like that for a year and this whole year don't worry about clothing, about hairstyles about none of that and see how it feels.

how about what kind of partner? so it's all inclusive we had that topic like 3 weeks ago already personally a good friend that i'm physically attracted to who's fun and honest

in hindsight weed is probably the most boring drug/substance ever known to humanity it made me sleep like a baby though but no dreams

how about monsanto everybody loves them

I think i know what it looks like in my mind. As i've had friendships with guys and gals. I'd just imagine it to be a great deep. loving friendship+intimacy and sex decorating a christmas tree together and stuff

I think in one way it was always very important to me to give the impression that i'm well put together and that everything is alright at home as a kid with me, my mother and so on. And still to this day i'll kind of like to give that vibe that everything great and that i'm orderly even though i'm not. There's probably also a fear of someone finding out that everything isn't as great as i like to portray it or whatever

never had a satisfying, loving, stable relationship i've had sexual relationships that went on for months and months or maybe up to almost a yr i think i have a huge fear of getting hurt often the ones that are interested in a real relationship with me i'm not so much interested and the ones i'm really interested in, i just freeze or friendzone her or myself also a huge fear of getting into a relationship with the "wrong" woman i've bought supplements for probably thousands of $ most of them work for some time and then don't because of tolerance. and many of them interfere with my sleep which is the worst. many supps for fatigue give me anxiety as i'm prone to that. but i also have some keepers

that full moon was soo pretty and bright i've tried modafinil but never armodafinil

nah i just don't really care for those kind of "military heads" "you don't need sleep" "give me 1000 pushups" kind of guys i'd rather take advice from someone who had for example chronic fatigue and got out of it or from a more sensitive/creative person like me but thanks for trying to help

not really feeling the guy at all thanks, might look into that

i've tried therapy quite a few times. Didn't help a lot though. Maybe it was the wrong therapist not the right form of therapy or maybe i'm therapy resistant in some ways. Also tried medication ssri's and so on, had pro's and con's, stopped taking them before the exams though so that i could learn better. I might never really get my life together, as i have a chronic fatigue issue and it's not so easy to learn a new job with that. You're right there is a lot of shame. And i often do consider my presence as a burden. I'm working on that. Not sure if it's really working though. I don't consider myself a bad person at all. But still burdensome probably.

For me when i feel like i'm being "checked out" it's really strong. For example there was this woman with two friends on the train earlier. She looked at me a few times. Either she was checking me out or she was just looking around. But when i feel somebody is really looking at me or checking me out then i just feel this rush of toxic shame or whatever. Also when a group of people is sitting/standing somewhere and they're looking at me/checking me out when i walk by. Makes me feel anxiety/shame/stiff/adrenaline/don't know how to act which is soooo frustrating anybody else get that?