PurpleTree

I wouldn’t say it was no problem. Pychedelics always scare me. But so far good. Yea i’d like to try 150/200 but also it’s quite hard to find the perfect place honestly as it’s a long trip.

Nice. I also want to do a water fast soon. Maybe 5-6 days

candy flip seems also like a decent idea as i often get anxious on psychs

I’ve tried it a few times but highest dosage was like 130. But also i didn’t try to work on emotions.

Ok that‘s a new one so you boil the brew yourself and then you take drops of it? But there are two components, do you drink both? seems scary does that only work if you have a specific trauma like a war or rape or also if you just had a tough childhood or whatever? at what dosage?

it’s not personal there’s nothing personal

And why do you believe that? Where is the proof

I’m easily annoyed and angry and i think it stems from repressed childhood anger. if anybody has a good idea or has overcome some old stored anger let a tree know.

Insane in the brain

You too why are you scared of psychedelics? Or maybe it was someone else

I wonder what the underlying belief/ assumption is for this for example an hour ago i felt good, saw two beautiful women, they seemed interested the way they started touching their hair and looked at me. Also they walked towards me and were whispering to each other. But my body and brain just shuts down with intense shame in these situations and blocks. has anybody overcome that?

Thanks for your post yea i look at it from at least two angles. one angle is the kind of let go and let god, everything is already perfect. This is how it’s supposed to be, nothing to seek or heal kind of thing. And the other angle is i’m still in ego, this shame block is unnecessary and so frustrating. Hot chicks are into me and i get blocked wtf. And there are things i can try more like somatic work, more psychedelics, more yoga, shadow work, inner child work, ask dumb questions on the forum etc etc etc etc etc etc No i just turned my head when they walked closer to me and walked away feeling the shame trying not to think, trying to fully accept the shame the thing is i can’t smile nor talk basically when i’min this “ptsd shame block” a cocky smile and cool sentence in this situation is impossible

Yea not so much now as i‘m doing inner consciousness work etc whatever and trying to be present but i would often be in lala land very much and deep as a child und untill whenever also i have high expectations of myself and others, i think it‘s a bit softening too but many triggers i can‘t escape

Yea always been „creative“ and was an only child so had lots of time to be in my mind i mean less so now because i‘m trying to be with what is and less in fantasy

I also feel shame then i‘m also often bad at getting compliments, for example a chick told me i’m attractive lately but it just kind of makes me cringe, or if a guy tells me how much he likes me but it‘s the worst/strongest with beautiful women.

The thing is i am often grounded in my body. I often feel a deep peace etc etc but then this is just such a strong trigger that i shut down and i am not exactly sure why. Seems like some ptsd stuff but i‘m not sure what the causing underlying belief is, it‘s very hard to untangle.

why do you guys argue so much in an internet forum and get so emotional ?

The universe created itself to explore itself and „see what happens“ maybe

So i guess seeking comes from trying to fulfill a need, conscioussly or unconsciously. So some people stuff their face with food etc because they are trying to fullfil another need that they don‘t know or don‘t know how to adress. Me coming from an unstable home blabla where many times i felt abandoned or rejected. I have a „need“ and seek out to be loved by everybody and not get rejected or abandoned. Which is impossible so my ego became disfunctional.

what are you seeking for? what you‘re looking for is what is looking.

That‘s beautiful ?also your dream „losing“ my mother is probably my biggest fear even though we often have a difficult relationship. Even had an argument yesterday but i‘m thankful i got to hug her when i left ?

What is there to seek honestly this is already it ?

Even this forum i refresh ALot of times, probably thinking i will find something interesting or a gold nugget. But 99.999% it‘s just uninteresting noise. Not sure why my brain doesn‘t learn that and stops refreshing.

Also hope is a type of seeking

Will the seeking/resisting energy exhaust itself or is there a way to speed the process up?