Uncover

@Serotoninluv So, about my relationship. I stay passive and accept its' ending..? @Leo Gura What are your thoughts on this? I should do nothing?

@Lubomir No, she's not ashamed of her body, she's really sexy (for me). She just likes it at night, in the dark. She says that that's when she feels most comfortable. No, I don't have problems with erection when watching porn. It gets up pretty fast. She kinda surprised me, I didn't expect her to ask me to have sex. I wasn't really ready. I wasn't in the mood. We had some arguments before, we were both sad. Now we aren't talking.

Hi, So, today my girlfriend asked me this question "why do you like me". She told me that she doesn't like the idea to be with someone just because he considers her beautiful. She said she's looking for a meaningful relationship. Me as well. Maybe she's thinking that way because I tell her everyday that she's beautiful. Frankly, there are many girls more beautiful than she is. But I like her more. I couldn't explain her so well why do I like her. I could tell that she wasn't very satisfied with my answers. Even now as I'm thinking, I can't find many answers. I told her that because she's kind and altruistic, joyful playful and beautiful. Sunday is her birthday. Maybe I don't really like her that much, and that'd be the cause why I can't find the reasons? But I feel happy when I'm with her. She asked me this before. I couldn't find many answers as well. We broke up for 3 months. We know eachother since september 15. 2018. She also told me that I can tell her everything, and usually I do. But I'm not the type to talk about deep heartlike stuff, I can't open that much with nobody, not evem myself. I'm an introvert. I really care about us. How can I make our relationship more meaningful? Uncover

Hi, Firstly, I apologize for my poor English, I'm not a native. Now, I have a job that demands a consistent degree of attention. In the morning I would start working with attention and interest. However, after some time, especially in the afternoon, I would enter on autopilot. I'm doing everything automatically. My work now consists largely of booking invoices. The problem is that I make mistakes quite often. Like, I don't observe that the invoice has two VAT quotes. Or, I don't notice that the account I used to book the invoice was corrected before. Or, that the invoice must be activated because it has a large amount. Or that it must be accrued. These are just some examples. My boss is really angry that I make mistakes so often. I am also angry at myself. Because I know all these things but I simply miss taking everything into account sometimes. Maybe is even because I get tired after some time, or I get hungry, especially in the afternoon. The problem might also be that I'm not excited in what I'm doing. I'm doing it just because it must be done. My mind just drifts away after a little time when I start working. I enter autopilot mode. Actually I can't keep my attention on anything for a longer period of time. I start thinking about something else. What'll have for dinner, what to buy for my girlfriend's birthday, where to take her out. All kinds of random stuff, just not on what I'm doing. Maybe my phone also contributed to my poor concentration. How can I keep my attention fully on what I'm doing? Well, that's actually not possible. But, how can I become more aware? Gratefully, Uncover

Hi, I'll keep it short. My girlfriend said that she will never want marriage or children because it will only complicate her life. She said she had cases in her family where some relatives of her were together happy and not married. And they divorced once they married because it brought a lot of problems. I'm a christian at roots and for me it'll be normal to be married. In my eyes it'll also create a stronger bond between the couple, but she says it won't, quite the opposite. Not to mention that o lot of couples choose not to marry nowadays. So, what do you think? Is this better not to marry? Gratefully, Uncover

Hi, I'm a 24 years old guy. I feel that my life is pretty average and I'm not doing what I'm really capable of doing and wasting my abilities thus failing to give my share to the world. I finished Economics licence and masters degrees. I got hired at an average/below average job as an junior accountant. I'm doing a mindless job of booking invoices for almost two years now. My other colleagues got much better jobs with double my salary. Here it was my fault for not having the ambition to try to apply for a better job. I was always mediocre and the worst part is that I was OK with that. Actually, the worst part is that I'm still OK with that now. I'm a very skinny guy. My girlfriend told me that I should eat better. That I'll look much better. I don't have the ambition even for that. I'm always complaining that cooked food costs money and I can't cook, and the rent is not cheap (1/3 of my salary). (Having a girlfriend isn't cheap either ). I only spend the food tickets to buy stuff from supermarket. I eat very poorly. Just a little in the morning. Two sandwiches at noon, at work. We don't have a canteen. And a little in the evening, the "dry" stuff I buy from the supermarket. Maybe I should stop worrying about money and buy cooked food? I'm always with the idea of saving money so I can afford nice stuff later (like a car, really want one) but I'm never able to save either. Now my routine costs of waking up, going to work, coming home, and spending the rest of my time in front of my computer. Pretty much gaming other kinds of entertainment. Of course, there are days when I go out with my girlfriend and other activities, but you got the point. I want to change this, but I'm rooted in my computer after work. I have no other goals/ direction.. What should I do? I want to do something better that waste my life like this. To make myself and my girlfriend proud to have me. Gratefully, Uncover

@Knock Great insights! Thank you! I'll start eating better and going to gym. The money aren't really a big broblem. I just wanted to save them so I can afford a car. But I guess that won't happen unless I get a better paid job.

@universe Two weeks without laptop?? Maybe I'll manage 4 days. No phone? I even use my phone at my lunch break while I'm eating. It's the first thing I check in the morning. And I fall asleep with it in my hand at 12 PM usually, daily. I need it also to text my girl and other people. But usually, the time spent on it is for entertainment. Can't do without cellphone. ?

@Nahm No, I haven't played it. I guess I'm starting a new game now. :)) Is this multiplayer?

@Nahm Now I'm playing Paladins and Tomb Raider. There are two videos with a few games I tried if you want to play too. :)) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFHjz6i3JXEp8dYiFIDNAcw?view_as=subscriber Does it matter what games I play?

Hello, I often find myself thinking a lot about all sorts of things and losing the moments. When it's something important I tend to think a lot about it and eventually it becomes an anxiety even though it isn't necessarily a bad thing. I thought I have memory loses. Then I realized that I wasn't thinking at all about the thing I was going to do in the next 10 minutes so I forgot about it. My head was in an entire other dimension. E.g. I was grocery shopping with my girlfriend. I bought 2 chocolate bars and I thought to myself that I will give one to her. After I paid, we went to our homes holding hands and kissing. We parted ways and I completely forgot about the chocolate. Or, the moment she came to my place. I said that I'll give her a plate of mine that she liked very much. Again, we talked and kissed and I completely forgot about the plate. And there are other examples of things I forget about around her. And maybe not just around her. I thought/think I had/have a memory problem..? Or the problem is that I'm all the time in my head creating my reality and anxieties? What should I do to be more present? I just can't. I'm constantly thinking about something and making all kinds of scenarios. I tried to meditate but in that silence I get even more lost in the ocean of thoughts. I think that this is something that adds to my sexual anxiety and sexual performance problems. I'm in my head making scenarios about how I'll cum early (and it usually comes true and we're both pretty disappointed) instead of making love to my girl. Advice appreciated Uncover

Hello, It's a long story but I'll try to keep it short. So, in may, I broke up with my girlfriend. We've been together since September last year. I'm 23 years old, she was my first girlfriend. Even though we broke up we kept talking often and we're still talking now. We still go out on all sorts of events. Anyway, to get to the subject.. Two days ago she went to my place to eat pizza and watch a movie. So we did, we had a good time, we didn't do anything else though, just holding hands. I told her that I was expecting to have sex since she came to my place and since we've been going out almost daily after breakup, as friends though. She got very very upset at me. She told me that she can't stand my selfishness anymore. As she kept repeating me this thing since we were in an relationship. Even when we were together she never accepted to have sex when I wanted and she kept on reproaching me that I only think about myself. In the relationship we had sex like, 1-2 three times a week (rarely) or sometimes one time to one or two weeks. Now, I didn't touch a girl since we broke up and she knows that. I was horny after all this time. I tried to control myself being in bed with her, holding hands and watching movies. But It just slipped me and I asked if she wants to have sex, and boom. She exploded saying, I'm too selfish, I don't have feelings for her, I only think and want sex. . This is mainly the reason among others, why we broke up. I am ravaged, she said she was ready to give me another chance but I blasted that chance into space with my needyness. I can't really control myself around her. Well, I can, but there are moments (like this) when I give in and the hell unleashes . I texted her, she said she forgives me, but it hurts her. I feel rejected sexually by her, that's mainly the reason why I try harder, not especially because I want her that much. I feel really bad about this. I don't know how to reconcile sexuality with love.. Desire arises, I can't just hide it. If this have been true, that I don't care about her, I wouldn't fight with my parents over her. I wouldn't keep in touch with her after breakup. I really care about her, but maybe I don't know to show it to her. We had many fights over this, but we always got back together. I don't want to have a fight with her again over this. What should I do if she gives me another chance? To never ask her again about sex? Many people say that we don't match, that she's not for me. The sexual part aside, we're the best together, I can't vibe with anyone else like I do with her. But that destroys everything, my selfishness. What should I do now? Uncover

Hi, I'm 23 years old male. I have this problem that I can't have a real conversation. I've always had this problem, and I'm struggling to do better. All that I do most of the time is agree, nod my head and smile. For other people, conversations seem to be effortless and enjoyable. For me they are a struggle. If I'm really excited about a subject and I'm able to talk with someone for 5-10 minutes, after that my mind goes blank, maybe I would even start daydreaming. My mind is always like this, it seems to always be thinking of something, but nothing in particular. When there are 3-4 people in a group, I can't really talk, almost at all. They would always say "say something, Johnny, don't be so quiet." With one person I can manage to do pretty well if we have common interests. When someone speaks I would just retreat, I feel that they have always something more important to say. That my opinion is irrelevant. Maybe it is also an influence from childhood, of my alcoholic father..? When I said something when he drank, my words always backfired at me and hurt a lot. Maybe that's when I subconsciously decided to keep quiet. Because is safer..? What should I do now? It's like my mouth is sealed. Even a psychologist tried to make me talk more. Once he said that he won't say a word till I speak. So we stayed in awkward silence for ~15 mins when he decided to say something. My thoughts come a lot easier in writing. And I also enjoy spending a lot of time alone, most of it at the computer. Good thing that I'm an accountant, me and my invoices. Seriously now, it really affects my life in all aspects, especially on a professional level, in advancing in my career. I will do anything to be able to express myself more clearly.

Hi, I'm a 23 years old Romanian young man and I need some life advice. Today my 6 month relationship ended. We ended up in each others arms crying our souls out and deciding to part ways. But to remain friends. We really care about each other and developed a strong connection over this short period of time. We broke up before, but I guess now it's for good. I can't accept that though, there has to be a way, something.. I can't let us suffer because of the things I'll remember here. Too early to talk about that, but she is the type of person which will never want marriage or children. Moreover, my parents are totally against our relationship just due to the fact that she is not white. Even if they would eventually accept her, hey would not bear the fact that we won't marry. Maybe I must add that I come from a rather poor family with an alcoholic father. I left the village and I'm studying in a city. We don't have a place of our own, of course. I don't afford it yet with a ~340 Eur/month salary. I am currently established at a students' dormitory. This is the last year of my master's degree in Economics then I'll have to leave the dormitory (in June). I will eventually have to search for a rent, it'll be most difficult, alone, with this salary. The rent would probably be around 200 Eur without extra expenses. I took into consideration living with her in a rented place and split the expenses, but I didn't tell her that for now. Moreover, I'm not able to last long enough in bed to give her an orgasm, which is an important thing for a relationship. A lot of frustration built up from all these things going on against us, for both of us, so we decided to stop here. @aurum I wish to know your thoughts on this, please. But our hearts won't give up, what should we do? Please help! Gratefully, Ioan

Hi, I am 21 and have this problem of almost being treated like a child and not being taken seriously (respected). Most people almost make fun of me and girls don't even bother to "see" me. Why is this happening? Is it because I'm skinny? I look too young? Or because I'm a little shy? I didn't even manage to get a girlfriend so far. Is there a solution for being more of a man? Truth being told, I want a girlfriend so bad, I want love. I'm not happy even though I'm fairy healthy, I go to college, I have a fairy good job, but "I miss" the touch of a girl. I always wanted it. Thanks!

Hi, What are your thoughts about video games and social media? Are they really bad? I started playing League of Legends two months ago and I have no skill, but I can't stop playing. I deleted the game several times and just reinstalled it. I want to delete it again but I would just reinstall it. It just makes me frustrated and angry. And when I see on social media all the super ideal lives others are living I start to pity myself and the frustration strenghtents. I think I might even be depressed. I've lost sight of joy in anything. I don't feel like doing anything. I tried to approach girls but it just won't work out. And when I finaly got a date I just left because I was scared (22 virgin). Frustration level 9999! I'm 22, I think it's too late to even try. It's no point. I would just ruin everything. I always looked for that ideal girl and settled for nothing less. 10 years ago I had my first "crush", I worshipped her more that I worshipped God. Greatest obsession I ever had. I would search for her anywhere and do anything just to see her face. That obsession staied with me till 3 years ago even thought she left the country 5 years ago. Three years ago I fell in love with another girl, she friendzoned me. Two months ago I fell for another, she friedzoned me. I fell in love, or these might be just my hormons bursting out when meeting that ideal girl? Answer is simple, mother nature power. Regards

Hi, What are your thoughts about video games and social media? Are they really bad? I started playing League of Legends two months ago and I have no skill, but I can't stop playing. I deleted the game several times and just reinstalled it. I want to delete it again but I would just reinstall it. It just makes me frustrated and angry. And when I see on social media all the super ideal lives others are living I start to pity myself and the frustration strenghtents. I think I might even be depressed. I've lost sight of joy in anything. I don't feel like doing anything. I tried to approach girls but it just won't work out. And when I finaly got a date I just left because I was scared (22 virgin). Frustration level 9999! I'm 22, I think it's too late to even try. It's no point. I would just ruin everything. I always looked for that ideal girl and settled for nothing less. 10 years ago I had my first "crush", I worshipped her more that I worshipped God. Greatest obsession I ever had. I would search for her anywhere and do anything just to see her face. That obsession staied with me till 3 years ago even thought she left the country 5 years ago. Three years ago I fell in love with another girl, she friendzoned me. Two months ago I fell for another, she friedzoned me. I fell in love, or these might be just my hormons bursting out when meeting that ideal girl? Answer is simple, mother nature power. Communication problems!!!- I would speak only a few sentences a day, if really necessary. I can't hold eye contact when talking. I would just agree to whatever the other person has to say. I even went to a psychologist and couldn't do anything to make me talk. Once he said he will just keep quied the entire session and let me speak. Eventually he gave up and started to speak. I just feel like MY WORDS HAVE NO IMPORTANCE. I have nothing significant to say. I was mocked in my chidhood regarding my voice. Regards

I don't know when it began, but I know that it won't stop. I gave up almost all my hopes. It's like this.. I am 22 in all my life I had 3 girls I really adored and worshipped but never been with. Is this a curse? Karma? I'm not quite sure.. I always wanted so bad the girl I love to love me back. It's like, I never wanted much of life even though I got mouch more than I expected except.. well, love. The reason why I say I wish I could stop is this.. I started to masturbate at a very early age. I don't remember when. This is wy I say it could be karma. I expect fine girls to be with me when I do this shameful thing. I think that this is the reason I have such low self esteem and confidence, I'm quite shy. Not to mention, that I never had sex. Just masturbating (yea, virgin). I don't kow why. Bad luck? I'm waiting for the right one? I feel like my time has gone. I've tried, but I can't stop, and this snowball effect is making the little ball of snow bigger until it's big enough to destroy my life. I'm talking about other negative habits that occur from this, like: watching porn, playing video games (a lot), getting lazy (very), neglecting school duties (first master's degree year). It's like, everything I do after work is staying in front of the computer an wasting time on s*it. If I could be productive on my laptop at least.. I got a bad attitude towards almost everything, I never go after something I want.. I am either afraid, or careless. So, how can I get out of this "prison"? How can I regain control on my life? And I don't quite agree with the idea of meditating. I was born and raised in Orthodox Cristianity. Maybe because of this I didn't have a girl? I was afraid of the sin? I know that it's not good what I'm doing. I need advice, I need guidance. I don't wanna go rolling down the hill with that ball of snow. @Leo Gura Advice please! You read a lot, maybe you can guide me, help me regain control, help with my perspective, attitude. Please @Leo Gura Thank you!

Hello! I'm recently in another country for two months. As I left home I have to survive on my own. The problem is that I have no idea whatsoever about cooking. I eat what I can find in a supermarket and try to spend as less money as possible on food. My meal literally consists of cereals with milk, pate, baloney, apples and occasionally some sweets. So, how/what can I eat better on a tight budget without having to cook? And with what I find in the supermarket. Maybe I can cook something in the pan though. Thanks in advance!

Hello everyone! I would like to ask you what is the best way to use the internet/computer? I mean, the internet is a huge time and resources consumer. Social media and gaming got me rooted on the computer all day long. But are there some ways that the internet/computer can help me improve myself in any way? To stop wasting valuable time as I'm doing now, and use the computer in a more advantageous way? I just love to sit and do stuff on the computer, regardless of what it is. If only I could find some use of it, other that entertainment, that will be great. Any suggestions for me? (I'm a 21yrs old student) Thank you in advance! Best regards!

Hi! Two days ago I went and deleted my facebook account because I'm fed up with so many "perfect" people with "perfect" lives. Because I'm often misunderstood by people when talking on facebook. Because I judge and I'm judged all the time. I just can't stand it, it makes me feel uncomfortable using it. On the other hand, I'm thinking that I lost contact with some people. I also have a school group where is posted important stuff. Did I do well? Should I return to it? Is it a good thing, is it a bad thing?

It's like this, my life... I never really had sex with a girl (and no, I'm not gay ). But I masturbate a lot and watch porn. I'm doing it from a really young age. I've tried to stop doing it but with no success. I'm telling myself that it's a sin to have sex before marriage. Or this is how the church taught me. Maybe that's why I don't have a girlfriend. And maybe that's why I'm not so good at social interactions. I'm kinda desperate because of this, I don't know what to do and who to trust and what to believe anymore. BTW, I'm 21 years old. I used to cry my soul out for a girl. I would do anything to have her, and not for sex. And I still want her. I met her 2 years ago, it was "love at first sight" and I still want her. Something inside me whispers that we can be together. The fact is that I didn't really talked to her (I did it on facebook). It was going really good, we were really good firends till I was telling her that "I love her". My problems list could go on and on but I can't tell everything in one post. If there's anyone who knows what he's talking about and is willing to help me get my life problems straight free of charge and on long therm is more than welcome. Maybe it's a little dreamy, I mean, who's ready to give his time and resources away for free? P.S. I'd be grateful if you'll ask your friends, maybe I'll find such a person, a mentor...

@LetTheNewDayBegin Well, my progress is quite visible. I went from doing it more than 7 times a week (or more) to 3 times a week or sometimes once a two weeks. It depends on "the enviroment" I'm in and the mindset I'm carrying. This was possible due to the fact that I'm watching Leo's videos which helped me a lot. And I'm reading more often, especially self development and phychology books. That's why I started this topic, I saw that I was making improvements a lot, and went so far, but I was not able to really stop it and eventually fall back to it.

@CaptainFlint This is a very deep understanding of the subject you shown. I'll do my best to take the most of your message, to have a better understanding of it and eventually to apply what you told me. Thank you!