no_name

I am 30 and I am open to dating men 40-45, the problem is, I am NOT attracted to them physically. This bs that people say here that men’s value increases with age, is for sure bs, or the age is definitely capped at less than 35. I am seeing lots of men in this age range on dating apps, and they are not attractive to me whatsoever. They are balding, or some of them fully bald already, they have lots of wrinkles, their skin is weird and thick, they have grey hair (the ones that still have some of it), hairy bodies (the hair is grey on their bodies too), many of them also get fat. And the cherry on top - they look even worse in life, many of them post pics from years ago on their dating app, it’s a big shocker once you meet them.. Of course there are a few that still look ok, like celebrities, for example, but most of them… omg.. I can’t date a grandpa like this, I don’t care what he has or who he is.. I am not here to slam on old men, I am just saying be realistic and stop spreading bs. Just like you wouldn’t be attracted physically to a grandma, women are not attracted to grandfathers either, unless they are of the same age.

I am 30, and I can’t even speak to 20 year olds here because they are complete idiots. Humans brains don’t fully develop until the age of 25. A 30 year old who finds something in common with a 20 year old must be on the same level of underdevelopment. Many men who date younger women like that cannot date women of their own age because those women wouldn’t consider them “high value”. Only a 20 year old idiot who did not have any experience and does not know what “high value” looks like can be bullshitted and manipulated by those men to think they are “high value”. These men are also extremely insecure, so they do need the praise and admiration they get from those immature women. 20 year old has no clue about what is good in a man and what is bad in a man. She will fall for anything that gives her attention. Also, seeing your picture and how bitterly you interact here, as someone with experience, you by no means are “high value”. But truly thanks for the laugh.

Omg I am dying ??? thanks for putting a picture to this ???

Bump up

What does that have to do with it? It’s a therapist-patient relationship

Sure, for you it’s $300/hour

I am not bitter with men I actually can respect Also, I don’t think I am being bitter, you’re just too sensitive and insecure so you get extra butthurt by me simply expressing my preference ? - which is a common phenomena on this forum - men can say whatever they want here, vs when women talk about their standards ⬇️

I don’t need to learn game. What I need to learn is how to have healthy relationships and spot men who are healthy and want that kind of relationship with me. The steps are very similar - gain confidence, have success in life, be a good communicator, etc. It’s a very incel thing to say that women don’t need to invest time developing themselves. Makes it obvious that you don’t know much about women other than theories from the internet.

I personally would never date men like this, I hate cheap men, lazy men, etc. I would’t go to his place too, I value my time and, biologically, my time is more valuable than his. Furthermore, it takes more time for me to get ready than for a guy who just needs to shower and brush his teeth.

I still don’t get why it took them 9 months to do that, it was pretty clear months ago that russia was a terrorist state

Since we don’t talk about sourcing on the forum, can we at least talk about where to get information on sourcing? I know there are online stores, and apparently actual physical stores, both of which are illegal. I am very eager to try shrooms, but I have no clue where to get them from. I would be willing to buy them online, but idk how to do that either.. do I order them to my address but a wrong name? How do I pay for them if I don’t want my credit card traced? Can I use one of those pre-paid visa cash cards?

I said what I meant - it’s ridiculous to discuss it. I gave similar examples as to why it’s ridiculous. If you need an autistic answer - yes, Poland has the legal right to sue. It should sue russia, Ukraine should also sue russia. Zelensky’s job is to attract the world’s attention to the war in Ukraine and russian atrocities. Who else if not him would be doing it?

@Bobby_2021 @Danioover9000 uh oh actualized.org forum members/honorary couch experts busted Ukraine… and they have a chart with an arrow to prove it ???

And suddenly I am convinced ?

I think this whole thread is nonsense. I think some people were just waiting for some f*ck up from Ukraine (which is absolutely inevitable in the horrible situation Ukraine is in) to say “oh well, Ukraine’s not innocent too, bla bla, lets all move on from this war in Ukraine, bla bla, gas prices are rising” This has a whim of russian propaganda to it as well. Kinda like in the beginning of the war some people were defending russian invasion by saying Ukrainians are nazis. It’s just a lazy way of deflecting from the war. Again, the absolute equivalent of a crew of people being shot on the street and then some douchebag complaining of his car getting blood stains on it. The reality is that douchebag and mentally ill psychopathic people like this exist, that are unable to see anything outside of their nose, but luckily, most people are just going to ignore their noise.

Well, you are ignoring that thousands of Ukrainian citizens were killed by Russian missiles. Or is Ukraine a second class to Poland and Poland’s few citizens are more valuable than thousands of Ukrainian citizens?

How much contact do you have with them? Like how often do you talk/see each other? For how long do you talk for/spend time with them? Is there a cap you put on communication? Also, did you ever go through a state of hate and anger? Because for me it’s very hard to feel empathy for them, I don’t want to feel empathy for them, they are the reason of all the difficulties in my life.

Obviously, Poland won’t sue Ukraine Its ridiculous to even discuss this. Whom should Ukraine sue?

It would be mental if Poland sued Ukraine. It’s like if you were getting beat up on the street at night and screaming for help, and then someone sued you for making noise..

Do you feel this is a dangerous game to play though? Kind of like when you’re in an abusive relationship and you keep staying with the person hoping they would change or, even worse, that you can change them? Especially in an emotionally charged relationship such as child/parent, can you truly detach yourself properly from them without having expectations? Kind of like how a child always craves a mother, no matter how old the child is, and how toxic the mother is, the child will always have hope that the mother they always wanted would eventually show up. Also there’s a lot of baggage in these relationship, unlike other relationships, a lot of anger. I mean, why did you decided to keep your toxic parents in your life and not other toxic people? Why do parents get this special “pass” for being toxic? Wouldn’t guilt, sense of obligation, and social pressure be the only reasons?

Why are you not going NC with them? What benefit do you get out of communicating with them in such way? It sounds like basically dealing with a gang of angry dogs, trying not to set them off at all times. Is it because of guilt that you still stay in touch with them?

You don’t feel bad about getting financial support from them? Or you’re just really young still?

Are you NC with your parents?

@Jannes what are you microdosing on?

I have two questions. A person who has overcome their self esteem issues, accepted themselves for who they are, are loving and kind to themselves, have healthy self esteem and self confidence 1. Do they no longer get hurt when someone says something critical/hurtful/unjust to them? For example, when they are short and someone tells them they aren’t attractive enough because of that? Or when they don’t have many friends and someone discredits them because they don’t have many friends? 2. If they don’t get hurt/offended because they understand it says more about the person than it says about them, would they still want to be around that person? What would be a reason that they want/don’t want to be around that kind of person? Would these person choose to stay away from people who are narcissists/psychopaths/etc - why so?