Moksha

I feel every teacher should be taken with a large grain of salt. The ego loves nothing more than to pose as the antithesis of itself. Proclaiming yourself as enlightened without actually being enlightened is one of the most subtle forms of self-damnation. True teachers are not wise, but get out of the way so wisdom arises through them. If a teaching points you toward awakening, it is not because of the teacher or the student, but entirely due to Consciousness choosing to see itself.

You are no more or less a character in the story as everyone else. There are certainly manipulative and narcissistic teachers, but to claim that all are is to dismiss the wisdom of every spiritual tradition. If you believe it is possible for you to awaken to your true nature, surely you see that others may already have.

Within relative reality, there are characters through whom Consciousness has realized itself, and characters where it has not. Spiritual teachers are a mechanism for Consciousness to see itself, by pointing to its true nature. It is all Consciousness, playing the awakening game. Do not share this wisdom with anyone who lacks in devotion or self-control, lacks the desire to learn, or scoffs at me. Those who teach this supreme mystery of the Gita to all who love me perform the greatest act of love; they will come to me without doubt. No one can render me more devoted service; no one on earth can be more dear to me. - Bhagavad Gita 18:67-69

Solipsism is only a partial seeing. When you realize the sameness of your ultimate nature in all things, solipsism is grade school spirituality. It is all unbound Consciousness, beyond the false perspective of the self.

Exactly. Ultimate reality creates the why, hides itself from the why, discovers itself within the why, and transcends the why. Awakened people can try to explain what they have seen, but the words are only pointers. It will never make sense to the mind, and is only directly realized.

In phenomenal reality, everything that can be created will be created. All beliefs are inherently false, whether theistic or atheistic. At best, they can feebly point to truth but they are not truth. There is only direct realization of ultimate reality which is beyond time, space, and the cosmos.

The relationship between spirituality and physiology is interesting. I have had times where my heart was pounding out of my chest, with serious concerns that my health was at risk. I have also experienced weird moments of dizziness, and being concerned that I couldn't safely drive. Unpredictable, but frightening. It seems to be related to pivotal moments when my mind is aligning to my nature. Conditioning is not easily overcome. It is gradually dissolved, and if you are wise it is an open and gentle process. I have learned not to force it, but let equanimity happen on its own cadence.

@Breakingthewall As Tolle says, suffering is only necessary until it is no longer necessary. It serves the purpose of catalyzing awakening, and after you are fully awake there is no need to suffer. This is different from physical pain, etc. Suffering is resistance of the present moment and seeking external happiness rather than realizing it within. I may try 5 meo at some point, but it is just another experience. I can see it helping some people, but we each have a different path.

@Breakingthewall I don’t feel chasing experiences leads to awakening, but once awake you can enjoy experiences lucidly without an ulterior motive. It is amazing how the simplest experience, like walking your dog down a tree-lined street, can be entirely transformed when thoughts recede and there is only being, without naming. The moment expands and you see the sameness underlying all beings, even the apparent space between them. It is all the phenomenal expression of underlying reality. When you are going through DNOS, it is a downward spiral of suffering that is all the worse for having been free of suffering for so long. Like Lucifer being in heaven, and then cast down to hell, deprived of the glory he took for granted. Practices like meditation that brought serenity before are seen to be empty offerings, which have no value of themselves until they are accepted. The suffering intensifies until you finally open your eyes to the wisdom and grace in DNOS. It becomes undeniable that not only are you nothing without God, but you are nothing with God. The shadow self identified as you eventually dissolves into reunion with the glory of your ultimate nature.

As I understand your experience, twice you broke through the void to realize the infinite abundance of ultimate reality. That is something you know, and can wish to realize again. For me, there was an awakening which was profound enough that I felt it would last forever. It transformed my life, and my suffering dissolved. (Un)Fortunately the blissful state only lasted for 7 months. Then I was plunged into the dark night. I couldn’t understand why or how this happened. It lasted for over a year, during which I was absent from these forums. I read “Dark Night of the Soul” with commentary from Mirabai Starr and found it enormously helpful. It resonated deeply with my own experience. She explained that DNOS is not wishing for something you don’t know, but seeing the face of God and then being banished from its presence. The seeing makes the absence all the more painful. It grinds you down until there is nothing you desire more deeply than reunion with God. God is only a name, which like all names falls short of describing ultimate reality. I see it as a powerful pointer to the holiness and wholeness of the Self which is who we truly are.

@Breakingthewall Great insights. The pathway to God-realization is different for each of us. There are examples of mystics from Vyasa to Teresa of Avila to Siddhartha who directly realized their ultimate nature as God without 5 meo. I agree that there are glimpses of ultimate reality, and there are bombs. Usually the bomb doesn’t explode until the self desires nothing more desperately or deeply than reunion with God, even if the reunion means annihilation. A while back I shared a stanza from St. John of the Cross where he compared awakening to God breaking the neck of the self, in an act of divine love that was its dissolution and the direct realization of being God. I feel this is why the dark night of the soul is so often necessary before full awakening occurs. The suffering of separation must reach such intensity that even the drive for self-survival surrenders to the love of God. All along, it is God dreaming of reunion with itself, and usually the nightmare is necessary before awakening occurs.

Consciousness can use the mind to communicate and create, but its essential nature is beyond words. it is vastly intelligent and wise, but it is also infinitely still. Sometimes it is referred to as the silent Witness of life. For me, it feels like a flood of love and light, although those words are only pointers.

Detaching from fear and desire is the pathway to the end of suffering. I agree with @Leo Gura that this is not necessarily the same as God-realization, although it certainly paves the way. The reverse is also true: God-realization facilitates dissolving attachments. They are seen to be futile striving for happiness outside of ourselves, when our true nature is already infinitely abundant.

When you fully awaken to your ultimate nature, you see the essential sameness of yourself in all beings. It is not only realizing that you are God, but that God is all.

Partial awakening (including solipsism) is more frightening than full awakening. The conditioned mind is still fighting for survival because it lacks the wisdom to let go. Like a rocket climbing into the stratosphere, the forces opposing the ascent beyond yourself increase until gravity is gone and there is only free space. Enlightenment is the most liberating, profoundly enjoyable way to live. Life loses its melodrama. You are finally free to live creatively in this moment, lucidly enjoying the dream for what it is. There is no fear, only the serene wisdom that nothing ultimately real can be threatened.

Ultimately, this is true. Why else would Consciousness create the cosmos, than to enjoy the dream of otherness, experience, and sensation? It is the story it tells itself of progression from suffering to lucidity within the dream. Thankfully, it is not only possible but our deepest purpose to awaken to our true nature, even within the shadow boundaries of relative reality. Then the profound enjoyment of this moment becomes possible, until the dream ends and the wave returns to the ocean of itself.

I agree. Ultimately, wisdom is the depthless, seamless state of unfettered Mind. It is beyond the cosmos, and within relative reality when Mind chooses to awaken to itself, wisdom flows through the form of its creation. It is undifferentiated light shining through the differentiated form, realizing the form is only an appearance, but through this realization experiencing sensation in the purest flow state possible within the dream. By contrast, foolishness is unconscious living. Mind has not yet chosen to realize itself within the form, and decisions are driven by the fear and desire of the conditioned self-mind. It is the futile pursuit of happiness which can only truly be realized within.

The conditioned mind is like a block of rough-hewn obsidian which is too dense to allow light to shine through. In the spiritual workshop it is carefully sculpted into a beautiful pane of translucent glass, and becomes a lucid medium for the Mind. I don’t call it an achievement, because the mind cannot sculpt itself on the relative plane of its existence. It requires the vast wisdom and creativity of the Artist for the transformation to occur. Sometimes it is a careful process of spiritual practice, through which the mind is gradually shaped. Other times, as in my case, it is a cataclysmic event, which is the culmination and eventual collapse of suffering. Although initially the mind may believe it is carving itself, when the light finally floods through the Mind is realized to have been preparing its own expression all along.

@Razard86 Exactly, anything externalized, including rituals, concepts, sensations, beliefs, and even feelings are distractions from Self-realization. The answer to our ultimate nature is carefully hidden within, and can only be directly realized. @Breakingthewall I agree, true realization is never a belief or thought. It is direct, and indescribable. Enlightened teachers can create words as pointers, but if the words are clung to they cannot direct people to the underlying truth that they are intended to convey. I feel this is why great teachers like Ramana Maharshi choose silence and spaciousness as the most powerful pointer to truth.

We already have access to vast wisdom; most of us just haven't realized it yet. It is the pathway to liberation. We have been conditioned to trust logic as the way to enlightenment, when in truth it is an obstacle. Even in relative reality, logic breaks down at the extremes of astrophysics and quantum physics. It is an ego trap when we confuse conceptualization with Mind. There is only the One Mind and not a particle of anything else on which to lay hold...If you students of the Way do not awake to this Mind substance, you will overlay Mind with conceptual thought, you will seek the Buddha outside yourselves, and you will remain attached to forms, pious practices and so on, all of which are harmful and not at all the way to supreme knowledge. - Huang Po

Let go of the dictionary and the need to conceptualize spirituality. God is an equally triggering term for many people. It is not about what the mind finds interesting, logical, or paradoxical. Whatever you call ultimate reality, it cannot be comprehended. It is only directly realized, beyond words. For some reason, this conversation keeps reminding me of the poem "Songs of the Soul" by St. John of the Cross. Especially this passage: He wounded my neck And all my senses were suspended. I lost myself. Forgot myself. When the senses, thoughts, and feelings are suspended, it is a grace by that which is beyond the cosmos. We can't choose to make it happen, only prepare ourselves for it. The self dissolves into ultimate reality, in the same way a wave of the ocean surrenders to the depthless stillness that created it.

I agree, it's not a thing. It is beyond everything, and within everything. I am not referring to human awareness, but to the essence of God. Call it whatever you want, no word does it justice.

^^^ People are digging themselves into a conceptual grave by applying subject > object relative reality logic to ultimate reality. It all collapses into the singularity that is Consciousness. If that word doesn't point for people, maybe Void or No-Self or Love or God helps more. It is not about the words, but about directly realizing the reality that they describe. Rather than grokking your way into awareness, let go of the need to conceptualize and prepare for the grace of being. It happens when You choose for it to happen, and when it does enjoy the dream lucidly without trying to explain it.

Perhaps awareness is reflection for you. You might consider whether the awareness you have experienced in meditation must be the same awareness others have realized. Your frequent reference to conceptualizations and dualities feels like you are thinking awareness rather than being awareness. Direct awareness of the ultimate seamless state is the most holy and profound realization, which dissolves me in the serene light of God. It is grace, not an achievement. It erases all boundaries and breaks all chains. There is no suffering in this moment, only the eternal wordless echo of Hallelujah. As Ram Dass describes it: I instantly felt a new, profound kind of peace I'd never before experienced. I had just found the "I" - that perceptual point of view, that essence of identity, that scanning device. I'd found that place of awareness beyond form, where "I" exists independent of social and psychological roles. This "I" was beyond time and space. And this "I" -knew-, it really -knew-. It was wise, rather than just knowledgeable. It was a voice inside that spoke truth. I recognized it and was one with it. I felt as if my entire life of looking to the outside world for affirmation and reassurance was over. Now all I needed was to look within, to that place where I -knew-. I was just -presence-, unfettered by the usual slipstream of random thoughts, images, and sensations. I nestled into this sense of pure -being-, feeling my way into this timeless, inner self that was independent of outer identity. I felt no need to -do- anything.

I like Aldous Huxley's summary. The Perennial Philosophy appears in every age and civilization: There is an infinite, changeless reality beneath the world of change This same reality lies at the core of every personality The purpose of life is to discover this reality experientially, that is, to realize God while here on earth