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I've been there.. wanting to give up all my dreams in hopes of relief, but being unable despite all my efforts and agony. The only way anyone can give up their dreams and be content in face of ultimate failure is if they have the only thing that truly matters. Themselves. Their power of equanimity. Self-confidence. Self-trust. Integrity. Detachment. Clarity. Connect with your authentic self, be assertive, and you will not need anything. You will enjoy all aspects and challenges of life ...victory or defeat. That's not an easy change, so start small. Take small steps towards reclaiming responsibility over the quality of your life. I think you concentrate too much on your external circumstances. Meditate daily. Learn to see that your judgements are the only cause of disturbances that exist. Change your judgement and you will change the quality of your life. This takes power, so meditate, exercise (physically) and practice responsibility. Remember life is short, and it's a foolish to waste it by suffering and worrying needlessly

I'm kind of in the same situation. Here's how's it's going for me. 1.My life is awful. I rather die. 2. I can't / don't want to do anything. 3. Suffer endlessly... repeat x 10000 3. Honest assessment of my situation and understanding that the underlying issue is the lack of energy. 4. Accept the only option forward is to focus and do everything in my power to restore my willpower, self-discipline and a healthy energy capacity. 5. Trust my my assessment and commit to putting in the necessary work to restore my energy despite my resistance and laziness, aiming for a consistent discipline and positive momentum. Edit: What you should take away is that lack of desire is a symptom of lack of energy. Focus on that. A desire and joy for living is a natural consequence of having an abundance of energy. Look at all children for example. remember how it was when you were a child. Almost anything could excite you. Your energy is tightly connected to your physical and mental health, so you might wanna start there. Though remember self discipline is also required to make use of your energy. It's no use to have a lot of energy if you can't really use it or enjoy it in the ways you want. Start meditating. Eat healthier. Exercise. Be creative. Socialize. Live a simpler life. Go out for walks. Set minor goals and stick to them. Remember what used to excite you in your past. Get good sleep. Try imagination exercises. Consider dating if you feel like you'd like that. And above all remember to not take life too seriously. All of this will be over regardless pretty soon anyways so don't stress it and take it lightly and with humor

Those are all symptoms of lack of love. The opposite of love, is lack of love. Love is connection. The opposite of love is disconnection. Absolute Love is connection with your True Self

You're reading the wrong book. It's Peter Ralston you need. You didn't achieve any empowerment or freedom from the attachment because you remain identified as the self "X" that needs thing "Y". It's a matter of simple survival principles. To free yourself from "needing Y" and the suffering that comes from not having it, you must become a self that doesn't need Y. A self where Y is irrelevant. Right now you think you're someone who when isn't accomplishing goals suffers as a consequence. What needs to happen to free yourself from this struggle, is the realization that any suffering you experience is something you are doing right now . Unless you realize that, you're gonna remain stuck in the belief that needing Y is just a natural need of yours that when lacked, you suffer. Agreeing that you're doing it isn't enough, it only works when you experience / become conscious that you're doing it. Once you become conscious of that, relief, freedom and detachment follow naturally and instantly (because at that moment you realize you're not self X that needs thing Y) Edit: To become conscious of yourself doing it, you need to contemplate deeper. In your case, after " I should accomplish something big in life and achieve my goals", you need contemplate what lies under that. Why do you think that's true? Why do you need it? What are you trying to avoid? What's behind that belief? What would happen if you didn't?" What's its purpose? Contemplate (in a focused meditative state ideally) the origin of that belief / neurosis. Don't try to figure it out through thinking, but allow yourself to experience / feel it with a wondering attitude and intent to understand it and understand what lies under it and where it's coming from and why. Hold this questioning attitude for the duration with a genuine belief in the possibility you can become conscious of what lies under it. Keep questioning and going deeper. You'll know you're there when you experience great relief

Step 0: compelling vision

I'm trying to contemplate my death but the reality of it just doesn't seem to register in my mind as it has a few times before. How can I get myself to really feel down to my bones that this thing existance is finite, singular and short?

LOL, you must definitely ask why, if you hope to become more authentic. What aren't you admitting? Find out and face it.

Its possible to be fake and yet true to yourself. If you clearly know why, you're faking instead of hiding from the truth, and you're undoubtedly sure it's the appropriate behavior in the large context of being true to yourself, and it's what you intrinsically want, you're being authentic. If you feel internally conflicted and unsure how to behave, you're probably not being authentic. To become authentic you're required to make a clear decision of what it is you genuinely want. If you do that, it's easy to notice yourself when being true or fake. A good measure of your authenticity, is your consciousness / awareness. How mentally fogged vs clear are you usually? How confused vs confident do you usually feel? How much time do you spend on cheap forms of distractions vs higher consciousness values? How much do you resist vs accept yourself Whats your doing vs being ratio?

Another general rule is the higher your awareness the more you can tolerate. If it's high enough you may be able to perceive pain for what it really is. Just a sensation that's neither good nor bad.

Pain × Resistance = Suffering Pain x 0 Resistance = 0 Suffering It's an ability you can train by decreasing your general resistance to things. A deliberate practice can be strong determination sitting meditation for long time, another is physically hurting yourself and working on letting go of resisting it eg. Cold showers, or wipping yourself. As it gets easier over time you might notice your general awareness level in your everyday life is increased.

Any additional unmentioned tips to shifting paradigm?

What's a good affirmation for that? I'd like to nail the attitude down into my subconscious self-image. My notes from the video 1. Acknowledge all the little causes, the whole chain of causes, not all that stuff is in your control but that doesn't matter. You're still responsible for it. (you co-created) 2. Commit to never blame anyone or anything else for the stuff that's happening in your life. All you need to do is to just focus on taking the right actions that you need to be taking every single moment of your life and trust that will fix your problems in life (most of em, worst of em). 3. Acknowledge you always have some degree of control At the bare minimum you always have control of how you respond to situations. Even if you can't change your situation, you can change how you interpret it and how you respond to it. If you take conscious control of your mind, then you can decide - what you want to think about - where you want to focus your attention - how you want to interpret the external circumstances which are happening around 4. Acknowledge your response in the present moment, right now, is the "thing" that matters the most. When you take responsibility for the now then you're always ensuring that you're able to pick the most resourceful response and therefore create the best possible life you can create. You're responsible for the quality of your life. Yes or no? You're responsible for happiness. Yes or no? You're responsible for resisting reality. Yes or no? You're responsible for being miserable. Yes or no? When things are your responsibility, and even fault, it's good, because it means you can do something about it. Imagine if your misery wasn't your fault, then you'd be powerless to ensure a happy life.

Genius Not sure how to use that How impractical. Yes and no. Unheard phrases that others suggest can still resonate.

Thanks. This one's interesting: It's hard to play victim when one believes they can do anything at anytime hence one can't avoid but feel responsible. Fun how? Give me an example. I'm still open for more suggestions ?

If not, how are you trying? I'd love to hear your stories. ?

By Stoic I mean: by knowing (down to your bones) that it's not things themselves that distress us but our preceding thoughts about them, and that we can change our thoughts at any moment, hence being able to always be in equanimity. Which strongly incentivizes the ego to pay importance and attention, and be on the look out, for what's going on in our minds, our thoughts, the meaning we assign to things, because it's been integrated down into the ego: Who we think we are and what we think can and can't hurt us. What we think we can and can't do. To reprogram our minds, self-image along with the abilities and threats, would be extremely beneficial to us, for living not only in harmony and fulfilment but also persistently mindful with a higher level consciousness, love, and being. Affirmations such as "I love being confident" and "I'm independent of the good or bad opinions of others" are nice and effective, but they can't substitute this wisdom that is so deep, that one would automatically derive to the states that the prior affirmations try to bring. Can you guys try to make an affirmation that could drill this principle down into our egos. One that would probably have to meet most if not all of these: has "I am / I always.. " (or any way that redefines the self) has significance for self survival (danger/reward) makes cognitive processes salient and important, encouraging persistent meta-cognitive awareness. is empowering ( eg "I can" or like in the " and this you have the power to revoke at any moment..) is short and concise Quotes for ideas: “ If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” -Marcus Aurelius " What upsets people is not things themselves but their judgments about these things." -Epictetus " We suffer more in imagination than in reality." -Seneca " It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." -Epictetus " You have power over your mind, not outside event. Realize this and you will find strength." -Marcus Aurelius “ Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Viktor E. Frankl

Humble bump

^ Or the general Idea that self awareness is essential to changing our identity?

Doesn't always work but sometimes it does and sometimes it REALLY does. Works with ice cold showers too. Any theories?

Hey all, I'd like to find/create my Life Purpose in order to have something to be grounded in and get its strong incentive and motivation to take action towards living passionately and creatively and freely. Though, it seems I can't feed off of the benefits of the motivation that comes with a strong desire to contribute/help the world/people because I find no incentive in it. I've went through the course a few years ago very sloppy, but I have a good overview of it still. I'd go through it again but every time I'm reminded of how critically it's hinging on a sense of need to contribute, I lose incentive. My philosophy: I believe life and the universe is meaningless / absurd ( yes I know meaning is subjective.. that's why I said I believe lol ). My worldview is one of which where there's nothing to improve. Everything is the way it's supposed to be, and for a reason, and everything will change the way it's supposed to change, no matter what I do. Good or bad. The universe doesn't need my help. The universe doesn't care ???.. In another sense, everything I could and would do, would be exactly what the universe had intended. There's no good or bad, there's only happening and it's perfect. Yet, I'm still human and I'm sure I would still find a lot of joy from the actual experience and practical act of helping people of same being. But I can't pretend as though that had any actual meaning in the cosmic sense. I can't pretend as though it really mattered and that's just not as motivating as truly believing you did "good", or that it in someway matters. That just doesn't give me that sense of purpose that I wish I could utilize for creating and living an amazing life. What do you guys (and hopefully u too @Leo Gura ) think? Any advice? ?

PS: I'm not getting that sense of "being needed" by anyone or by the world. It's really hard to feel purposed without that belief and feeling.