Barbella

Thank you! I agree. I have to change in order for him to change too. When I vibrate I don't deserve - that's what I get. I'm definitely going to try. If it doesn't help in this relationship, at least I found out that it's not just about the other person, but it's about me as well.

I like this. So true. Thank you Leo. I also like how Leo understands men's perspective and gives advice to talk to him and try to help him change, while girls are telling me to dump him. lol

It's ok. I don't take anything personally. In fact, I'm glad I don't have huge life problems to complain about on here, so you're right However I do think choosing a partner you're gonna spend your life with is very important, that's why I came here for advice.

Thank you for this. This is what I needed to hear. Oh and I don't mind being straightforward, I like to hear the truth. I agree with everything you said, I'm also repelled by material richness when it comes to bragging, as I'm not attracted to those types of stage orange guys. Yet there needs to be a balance between masculine and feminine in a relationship.

Hahah, that's what my friends told me as well

@Princess Arabia I honestly felt overwhelmed by the whole situation and wanted to think about this. I didn't know what to reply, I was feeling too many emotions. I've cleared my head and came to read all the comments one more time. I don't want you to get me wrong, I'm honestly very grateful that I came upon Leo's videos years and years ago, and I'm grateful that this forum exists, because I'm amazed at how many smart people are on this forum. I always get the most profound advice here. I appreciate your advice. I asked myself - how am I contributing to this situation? And I think it's true that I lack some self-value, as I don't feel worthy of all the things I want. For example, when we first talked about this problem, and when he decided to change, I always felt really uncomfortable when he would pay for dinner. As if it's wrong I'm letting him pay. I felt ashamed. That's why I think we were perfect vibrational match at some point. Also, you are right about his fear. His father is very cheap, and I think his father had huge impact on him. He has some really deep limiting beliefs about money. Also, he didn't plan on eating that chocolate, his family got it as a gift, and he told me that his mom will probably want to gift it to someone else in the future. They don't open nice gifts but re-gift them. Which is weird. But it came from his fear that it's expensive and that no one should open it. Still, I think it's ridiculous and he should have let me open it. If it was a problem, he should have bought new chocolate and put it where it was. I honestly think he might change for some time, being generous and nice (like he is right now after our talk), but the thing is that fear is so deep inside of him I'm afraid it's very difficult to change.

Hi! I'd really appreciate your perspective on my situation. I've been dating my bf for 3 years and I honestly love everything about him and our relationship except that he's being too cheap with me. He's 26, living with his parents after college and is helping them with their business, but he used to have a job and has a lot of money in his savings. I'm 24, moved back with my parents after I graduated college last year and I'm working on my business and being independent. For the first year of our relationship he used to prefer we split 50/50 or he pays one time and I pay the next, even though I was a student and he was earning a lot of money and living with no expenses with his parents. He even used to take money from me for gas on vacations or one time on our vacation he wanted to go to a fancy restaurant, he chose the restaurant and I paid for everything. (which was really weird since he insisted we go) After that I told him how I felt about it and that I'm not happy in our relationship when he counts every penny and isn't generous about my situation. He told me he understands and that he doesn't mind paying more. Well, it changed but only for a bit. We rarely ever go out as we're both introverts and prefer to have dates at home, but I can still see his cheapness in some situations. For example when I was at his house, I saw he has some chocolate and I asked him if I can have it, and he told me no because it's too expensive and that I can have cheaper one. I was honestly so hurt by that. (chocolate is like 4$) Or one time I was feeling bad and he came to my house to cheer me up, and he came with one dessert (literally pancakes for one person) and told me how he got me that to cheer me up but he wants to eat it too so we shared it. (which was so odd, that's like 4$ and he couldn't get us both) Even after the chocolate situation he told me how he understands why I'm hurt and he wasn't supposed act that way, and that he hasn't got me anything in a while except those pancakes one time (he thinks he did a nice thing and he sees no problem with sharing one dessert) Or we rarely go to the cinema (like twice a year) and when we decided to go one time he told me ''I'll buy us some snacks at the supermarket and you get the tickets''. I'd say this behavior is mostly seen when it comes to giving and money, however sometimes I also wish he acted more like a gentleman in other situations. For example he criticizes me that I don't know how to carry my skis (he wouldn't think of helping me), or one time we were at the gym together and I was putting some heavy weights on a barbell, and he asked me if I needed help and I said no, and one guy heard our conversation and came up to me and helped me without saying anything. I've realized we have this incompatibility and I don't know what to do about it. It's such a turnoff for me. I love him, but I realized that I really want to be in a relationship with a guy that acts more generous and more like a gentleman. Helping me, not minding paying. I realized that it's really important for me to feel protected in that way. However, I really don't want a guy to splurge on me and I'm generally not attracted to expensive luxury items (I'm more stage green than orange). I don't know what to do as I really love him and think he's a great guy, but when I think of a future with him it scares me.

Crazy how things change. I've read some of my old posts and I can't relate to some of my opinions back then. Except that my anxiety is still here. lol But it's ok she's welcome to stay <3

I don't care if I sleep or not. I am able to function without sleep. Life is beautiful nonetheless. I don't care what time it is or how many hours will I sleep or not. Whatever happens. It's ok.

For the past year I've been dealing with anxiety that comes at night and doesn't let me sleep. I either can't fall asleep the whole night or I wake up too early. I thought it has affected me negatively as I couldn't function at my best when I don't sleep well. The reason I have anxiety is my university (for now). I was afraid that my anxiety will come every time I have something stressful in my life (and it probably will). Something important I've realized last night is that I have to fully accept my anxiety. It's a part of me now. I need to learn to love it. Accept it. Hug it. Be gentle to myself about it. I don't have to go to the gym that day and I don't have to be productive as much - but I can. It's more difficult but I can be productive as much with my anxiety. And it will go away eventually. Maybe not tomorrow but someday it will. I need to learn to function with my anxiety. Only when I fully accepted it, it went away. I can't wait for my yoga lessons next month. I don't know what I'm going to do after my graduation, but I hope Leo's course will help me figure that out.

I thought I would enjoy my summer but I have two exams left and I need to focus on those. I wanted to take a course on Bereginyas (Slavic yoga for women) but I guess that can wait.

My mental health needs to be my priority. I've been neglecting my mental health for a while and I can't take it anymore - I've decided I want to change a lot of things in my life. I want to stop being responsible. I need to be irresponsible for a while. My exams make me anxious and my anxiety doesn't let me sleep. I have insomnia. I've decided that I don't care anymore. Whatever happens, happens.

Stone walls do not a prison make, Nor iron bars a cage: Minds innocent and quiet take That for an hermitage. If I have freedom in my love, And in my soul am free, Angels alone, that soar above, Enjoy such liberty. - Richard Lovelace

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wild and A Hero of Our Time by Mikhail Lermontov.

I know I'm not old but I feel as if I'm too old. I'm turning 23 next month and it scares me a lot. I used to be an entrepreneur when I was in high school. Kinda. I did what I loved and I was able to buy myself whatever I wanted. And soon I'll be graduating from college and to be honest college killed my creativity. All I know now is how to be a labor worker. I forgot what it's like to critically think. To do what I love. For the last 4 years, I've been learning what I've been told to learn and it's going to be difficult to move from that. I have SOO much I want to do after graduating I don't know where to start. This journal started as my ''to-do list'' and turned to be me ranting about my life.