Oppositionless

he's ragebaiting you bro it's chill. you guys are funny, like an old senile couple

that's what I meant. this thread led me to evaluating my history and realize I have no excuse for having low self esteem.

@Yimpa you dog @Inliytened1 this thread has been really helpful.

In a church parking lot.

My thought process has been. I'm gonna share this crazy thing that happened. Initially I'm like yeah I probably did the right thing. Then @LordFall makes the comment about not having a roof so I'm thinking shit maybe I was selfish, but then @Carl-Richard makes a joke that leads me back to thinking maybe I did the right thing. This is what kills my game.

Right I should've given her a roof it was selfish of me not to. Idk sex used to be really gross to me. OCD and Catholicism contributed to that .

Yeah I said no . Ended up just giving her a ride to shelter .

I had a homeless lady try to fuck me for a place to stay , was hard to say no to that. Actually have had two homeless gals try to crash with me but I'm unsure of the second one's intentions.

Hell yeah , I've been researching the orgies in my area .

https://kriyabreath.com/about-us/ if you want a kriya guru this seems promising if you want to learn kriya on your own leo's booklist is what you're looking for.

It would be nice to have someone around to give me tips on kriya practice as there's a lot of subtlety to it. however srf is a little too religious for me. they also don't give you the actual kriya pranayama technique until you've been a member for a year (at least), by the way.

Not a literal cult more like the charisma of a cult leader, I want to be one of the good ones. Charisma has two meanings. The conventional meaning has to do with confidence, extroversion and charm. But the other meaning of the word, which is actually the older original meaning, is a spiritual meaning. " Meaning of Charisma in Scripture Root Word: Derives from charis, the Greek word for grace. Spiritual Gifts: Refers to supernatural capabilities like healing, prophecy, teaching, or leadership granted by the Holy Spirit. Purpose: Designed for the common good, service, and love, rather than ordinary social magnetism. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5] " This is, I think, what Leo meant by his blog post "the highest form of game is God", by the way. I want to have both types of charisma of course. I'll look into bdsm events. And ecstatic dance, which is a more conscious version of a standard rave. I've mostly been working on the production side of music but I'll probably also get into djing, it would be fun to throw some conscious parties.

Same man . I don't really see myself doing exactly what you laid out but I see myself taking my music to an audience, and throwing conscious parties . Ecstatic dance parties. I feel this passion that wants to come out.

That sounds like standard nonduality 👀.

not the super locked down part but the middle of the road iop type part .

Back to the original topic . I fucked in a psych ward.

I got no shame in admitting part of my motivation to meditate and trip is from zen masters saying they had charisma they could've used to start a cult after their awakening and also Leo's similar comments.

Do you feel like a crab in a bucket now 🦀

Any guys here get their personal training certificate? I want to get that along with a yoga teacher training. I am the captain now.

But just for the fuck of it, here's my argument for idealism . This is head and shoulders above what someone like Bernardo Kastrup is saying. And far simpler. Frankly I should be getting paid for this, but you gotta give some to get some: "I take it as unborn means without form . Form is limited , formless is unlimited, reality is unlimited , therefore the reality is ultimately formless. What is formless, is mind, because mind can take any form, any object on mind. Is there anything else that can take any form?" It was in response to this snippet from Bankei ;

People get a great deal of meaning talking about how life is meaningless

I think the feeling "life is meaningless" stems from an intellectual rather than experiential understanding. My life is far more meaningful than it's ever been.

Make some cool art. Or if that's not your thing start a business.

I read and watched many things. Leo, other spiritual teachers, idealist philosophers, people trying to argue against the people teaching spirituality. I spent many hours thinking about these things for many, many years. I had some enlightenments on psychedelics. But I had no peace. It wasn't until I started a daily meditation practice that I found peace. Truth is good, but what good is it without peace? And through peace I'm finding some Truth, but I can't tell you what it is. I could say it's pure being, or God, or consciousness, but unless you know you don't know what those words mean, they don't mean what philosophers think they mean.