Oppositionless

24 hours clean today I smoked some cbd bud and it gave me a nice mellow effect without getting me high. I need to clarify why I want to quit 1) paranoia 2) delusions 3) social retardation 4) hangover it's relatively easy for me to stay sober when I'm by myself. But it's much harder to resist when I'm out with friends and approaching women. But it makes me worse at game so I'll use my desire to improve to help me quit . I miss my ex a bit. Game has certainly helped it not be so bad, but regardless, I wrote this in my journal earlier : I hope she feels just like me Not super sad but just a nagging sense of what if A feeling of disappointment, of wishing she'd met me there instead of here Of wishing we'd had more time Of wishing I'd shown her lord of the rings Hoping I visit Hoping when I visit it's just like old times Happy for her new life , and sad I'm not part of it

Oh that makes a lot of sense! Lol. I can't believe I didn't pick up on that.

Leo says that our view is the best and purest. I'm not sure whether he means that everyone's view is the best and purest, or specifically our view is the best because we follow his content. My view is not pure, it's tainted. I'm not happy, I'm battling between pickup and sobriety. It's so damned hard for me to not drink and smoke weed when I go out to game women. If I can't do game I'll be miserable, but if I constantly use substances I'll also be miserable.

I'm comically bad at being happy .

Bisexual women amazing wings, so much attention if I don't post a day counter you can assume I'm high or only a few hours sober There's definitely a tension between sobriety and pickup. For me pickup always leads to alcohol which leads to weed. That's just how I operate. a strong bisexual woman will do all the work for you . A woman who understands women is powerful.

LOL, if I always followed my intuition I would never date. Relationships scare me. Unless that isn't intuition.

Sounds like you're incredibly sensitive to psychedelics. 20 hours is definitely not common, I'd start by going to psychonaut wiki and with your level of sensitivity start with what they label a microdose.

12 hours thc free Yeah I smoked a lot of grass last night. I was drunk. I'm pretty good about not smoking normally but when I drink I can't seem to help myself. My buddy said I was the most dominant guy in the bar, which is funny, weed makes me close to nonverbal. I don't feel like the most dominant guy in the bar, but maybe being a nice person is more Chad than being a loud extrovert. i don't even want to do pickup, sex is like not that important to me. I just want validation and attention . And love.

I had sex with female Venom.

Nope. Not going down that road again.

3 days thc free, 6 if im not including smoking while already intoxicated on alcohol Deleting this post because it was over the top negativity .

I think Daniel Ingram would suit him. He briefly mentions magick but for the most part it's straightforward meditation instruction. You could just say the magick stuff is an experience you can have but not necessarily true or "real" in a scientific sense. Also Brad Warner's books on Zen. Especially his summary of Dogen, How to Not be a Jerk If your brother is interested in doing a practice I would prioritize Ingram. If not, Warner.

Have you realized immortality? If you have how do you reconcile that with no soul?

There's something valuable in worship. Even in a nondual framework. You can have nondual worship when you recognize that you're not fully conscious of yourself. On Easter I went to church and it was a profoundly healing experience. I wish I could have resonated with the doctrine, because the content was good. Maybe I'll start something to fill that gap.