Oppositionless

Fuck it, I’m quitting now. I’ve been taking this for about a year and eight months. The big problems didn’t start until about two months ago, when I noticed it was messing with my sleep. At first, it was just feeling a little too stimulated at bedtime—something a bit of pacing around my room could fix. But in the past two weeks, I’ve had probably four unintentional all-nighters from this stuff. I’m not sure whether it’s from withdrawals between doses or the compound building up over time, but it’s officially gone from “chill herbal supplement” to full-blown addiction in my eyes. I suspect it is due to its serotonergic activity, which is distinct and secondary to its action at the opioid receptors. I’ve already made an appointment with my psychiatrist to get meds to help with the acute withdrawal phase. No sense trying to taper—I’m an addict, and if I have any around, I’ll always want more. Cheers 👌 PS: If you read a lot of my posts, you might know that I’ve also recently quit nicotine and weed. I’m not sure what prompted me to suddenly quit all my substance addictions at once, but there are a few possibilities: The 5 MeO breakthrough from 5 weeks ago The Zen sesshin from 4 months ago The book Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff Meeting a really, really lovely girl. It doesn’t look like we’ll be together, but it is still a powerful energy The consequences hitting me harder than ever before, possibly because all of the above have increased my awareness 🗿 ❤️😴

The 5 meo trip took me to God , the one , everything and every one merged into a singularity and I was generating it by being conscious of it and I knew if I stopped being conscious of it it would cease to exist. Cannabis and NN dmt showed me the same thing but there was still a witness. I understand you may not want to hear this as you've been struggling with solipsism, so I want to reassure you that these are just insights arising with a certain experience and ultimately none of this matters , life is meant to be lived .

I've only done mushrooms lsd dmt and 5 meo dmt (and ketamine and dxm if you count those) in terms of mindfuck mushrooms > dmt > dxm > ketamine > lsd > 4 ho met > 5 meo dmt I've done 4 ho met 4 times , 5 meo once and the rest over a dozen times I guess the 5 meo mind fuck is realizing you imagined the entire universe, but nm dmt already did that and paired it with the most absurd alien geometry , and on psilocybin my consciousness merges with demonic alien beings I don't know where to place weed because I lived in that low level psychosis headspace for several years .

You guys find psilocybin cartoony? Wow, that would be fun. My most recent trips on it (and honestly all my trips on mushrooms) have been deeply unsettling to traumatizing. In terms of visuals, emotions , and ego death. I don't know exactly how to describe my ego deaths on psilocybin. It's not as clean and blissful as a 5 meo breakthrough , nor is it as gentle as a ketamine ego dissociation. It's like being being torn apart by an alien death machine. 4 HO MET is cartoony @Lyubov I want to try mescaline too but I'm hesitant about hurting such a pretty cactus . You can buy it as a houseplant , I would probably just wanna snuggle it instead of turn it into soup.

I was being mildy shitpostey but also I'm somewhat serious... porn can make you violent just like alcohol can.

You're the funniest person on this forum. I busted out laughing reading this. I've actually been trying to model something like your form of humor (which I suppose isn't intentional) in my own posts .

@Someone here I used to vape till I gagged and threw up , I probably threw up a dozen times, one time I threw up in my car , many times was out of breath driving on the interstate worried I would lose consciousness and crash my car . The book Self Compassion by Kristin Neff led to spontaneous quitting of nicotine and weed . Love 🙏

I want to warn you though, Most days kind of suck until I have my first kratom . I can't imagine how bad it would be if you got dependent on 7 oh. One day soon I'll get off it.

@Someone here porn addiction is almost as destructive as hard drug addiction . On the addiction tier list , porn is between alcohol and meth

I use kratom daily , not happy about it, but it takes the edge off. 7oh meh doesn't last long enough and not that much stronger imo, especially with tolerance .

Is pickup like gettting a shaktipat transmission from a guru for enlightenment. In person you receive the pickup transmission and now you have the power to approach . I passed up on the oppurtunity to go on a free tour bc I was in a relationship , thought I was being noble, she hurt me and now I feel foolish, but I don't want to turn to the dark side either . It's a fine line between contempt and corruption.

I've really been internally bitching about being too shy to cold approach (something that can easily be fixed by finding a decent wing) , and meanwhile people can't walk. Fuck. Would it be worth going into serious debt for prosthetics ?

My friend told me "everyone who is alive wants to die" and I said "everyone who is dead wants to be alive"

I'm not @Jowblob but many of us on the forum have had astral projections . Some have learned remote viewing. I'm not sure if anyone here claims telekinesis but I'm gonna post a YouTube video from someone who teaches it. There's even one person on the forum who claims to be a breatharian (not needing to eat). I pressed him heavily on it and he never wavered.

Yeah the first time I went out of body was shortly after my first NN dmt trip. It wasn't very long but I floated above my body , felt this alien presence like I was being stalked by something . Then it started happening a bunch fairly recently . I get sleep paralysis, my whole body starts to buzz like electricity , I roll out , my astral body hits the floor. I was staying at my parents one of these ,they life in a two story and I float through the ceiling (I'm sleeping in the basement), and I can see my mom watching tv upstrairs. My dog is sitting with her, even though she's been deceased a year at this point , sitting on the couch next to my mom like she used to. I float out of the house and get a Birds Eye view of my neighborhood. Once again got the strange impression that there was another alien presence pursuing me. I don't know how to reliably cause it to happen , it's always been spontaneous , also I haven't gone to any other dimensions (without psychedelics). But this video I'm pinning below shows how deep astral projections can get .