Oppositionless

People fascinate me. I lose a lot of productivity time just bouncing ideas off people . I want to be a coach because I can indulge in that while still advancing myself. Part of it is the helping them, but there's also a science experiment aspect to it.

I get tension headaches sometimes while meditating . It's very frustrating.

This was a loving kindness retreat so all day we were doing metta meditation. The first meditation on the first day was guided, the rest were silent. AFAIK this is pretty un-typical, Zen practice is usually just sitting with no technique, or koan practice. I honestly think I got more out of it being focused on metta however. I had two profound awakenings (well, one, it happened all at once) to unconditional love and to intelligent design, on the second to last day. But I didn't realize God until 5 meo. I mean it's very standard stuff with 5 meo. I realized God, that I was God, that consciousness is equal to nothing and to love, that the separate self is an appearance within consciousness not the source of consciousness, and that it's impossible to die. I don't credit the molecule the realization, the molecule just raised my consciousness so I could realize what I've always known.

I wonder if it would help to lean into it. Consciously clench even harder, and then release.

@Davino this year I added two to my list . 5 meo dmt and 2-fdck. I pretty much never talk about 2-fdck but in some ways it was just as profound, more so in the emotional and healing domain than the nondual one. What do you think about tai chi / qigong? I find it's the best counterweight to kriya yoga. If I'm ever feeling wired after pranyama I can do 10 minutes of microcosmic orbit work and I'll feel much better. It doesn't take away the befits of pranyama either, just the negatives.

@Leo Gura yeah but you also don't strike me as an influencer type . I'm referring to people who care more about clout than value.

What we need is not more influencers, I agree with you on that, but more people helping others one on one. People want to make a bunch of YouTube videos , they end up being shallow and highly generalized much of the time , because they want fame, when they could help more by learning to do one on one work. That's my two cents.

@Davino I've definitely been guilty of being a know it all. Especially pre awakening, when I was just obsessively thinking about metaphysics all day rather than doing practices. I would try more different chemicals if I wasn't so paranoid about buying stuff online.

I somewhat bypassed spiral dynamics stage orange, I think because my parents spoiled me excessively growing up . As a teenager I wanted to become a monk the second I graduated high school. I wanted to become enlightened. At 26 I feel I'm finally starting to reintegrate. Actually it involved first experiencing a glimpse of turquoise through hardcore psychedelics, which gave me the clarity to approach a career and success in a way integrated with my higher values. The biggest thing in the next 8 months is saving money becuse I'll be funneling most of my spending money into the life coach training. In other words, I'll need to cut my addiction expenses down. In that sense I'll actually be integrating blue alongside orange. It's very very exciting.

Ironically the shaman is probably more dangerous, because he only gets to see you once, he's not gonna titrate you responsibly. Also he very likely is using inferior methods (ie toad venom) and serving it to you in a crack pipe, instead of synthetic in a vape cartridge.

@Alexop I've noticed myself censoring myself spiritually around my Green friends. I express maybe 20% of the insights I've had into reality and keep the rest to myself. A lot of my closest friends seemed worried when I told them about 5 meo. One of them told me I should really only do that with a shaman .

@Alexop Yeah I think I get some of what you mean. I've been involved in different types of green communities over the years. The rave scene, the meditation scene, the yoga scene, the kava bar scene (this is pretty big in Florida where I'm from). I've met people I could disagree with and people I couldn't , it just depends. @Leo Gura Do you think though that they could benefit from incorporating some of the lessons of green while still trying to master orange? I see this in the new age / manifestation community. People using green to get to orange (which of course is backward of how the model predicts but that's what it looks like to me). Dr K seems to do this, he'll teach someone some yoga technique that'll help them make a million dollars.

@Alexop @Leo Gura Yeah it's just the zeitgeist of the moment . No stopping it. I don't know what the solution is. But probably a good starting would be trying to find a community rather than an echo chamber. I've been rewatching the SD series , basically the solution is Green Of course that assumes willingness .

Seems like there's very little consensus here so it's hard to answer such a question, but... I strongly disagree with the red pill / manosphere / incel elements I see on this forum , and I'm basically certain that stuff will prevent both healthy relationships and serious consciousness work.

Doing Kriya I've noticed . If my entire back presses against a chair it's hard to feel the kundalini (as jc Stevens states). However, if just the bottommost part of my back presses a chair and the rest of the back doesn't, I feel the kundalini even more than if my whole back wasn't touching.