Thestarguitarist14

I was taught if I have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. All I will say is that for a forum that is supposed to be about self actualization, I see a lot of posturing. What a joke. Won’t be posting here much anymore.

Pretty much this. Before I could not afford to be too picky because I was more external so I wanted it more. Now because I am internal it really doesn’t matter much to me. The last two women taught me it is better to be alone than to deal with narcissistic abuse. Oh grow up. A lot of you on this forum and such wannabes. Btw, true high value males do not cold approach. They get choosing signals and make their moves from there. This is something that I discovered a few years back. Only wannabe alpha males believe that cold approaching is all that there is.

Well.. The solution is to first love and accept yourself anyway. Secondly, admit that you like it. You are seeking pleasure. Each time you cum you are just reinforcing that idea that masturbation equals pleasure. There isn’t anything wrong with masturbation per say, it is your reaction to it that is the problem. When you get the desire to jerk off to porn. Just go with it as the opposite is suppression. When you watch porn, just observe yourself. When you look at her hair just say “hair, hair, hair.” When you see her tits just say “tits, tits, tits.” You get the picture. You will notice how you won’t even be able to stay hard if you remain conscious. You can only masturbate )specifically to porn) when you are unconscious, Then, you have to rewire the way you see cumming from porn. You are focused on the pleasure. Fast forward to the shame, guilt and loss of self esteem that you get after watching it. This is something that can’t stand in the light of truth. As for jerking off without porn. That is not bad. But eventually you will want to watch porn.

Finally, a nuanced response. That is pretty much me. For the longest time I was just partying and having fun. Dating multiple women at a time even post pick up. No intentions of anything serious. Last year I was falling for this woman, we dated on and off for a few months. It went terrible. She was a straight narcissist who I put up with for too long. Right before the pandemic every weekend I would get hammered and go out on the town. I wasn’t even trying and women would approached (L.A is a little different I guess, I get approached a decent bit, but that may have to do with looks to a certain extent). I did not even care. I was just flirting with any woman who gave me attention. I guess you can say that I know how to peacock at this point. Then the pandemic happened. I realized (well I already knew this) that I was a zen devil. I went deep into spirituality. Started doing dmt (had done shrooms and LSD before, but at raves mostly) and had my kundalini and heart center awakening. By July I had started dating a woman from my past. Not a straight narcissist, but narcissistic. After this, I changed course. Started doing some deep healing work. And I mean deep. After the worst of it was gone I began to realize just how little boundaries that I was putting up. How I was getting swept up by pussy. How I was just doing everything so superficially without vetting the woman. So I have decided to focus on myself. To change my life. I was already on that path. But, this got me more serious about it. The good news about dating so many women is that I have been with all kinds. I know what’s out there. And I desire more. I desire to be with a woman who is beautiful not only on the outside, but the inside. Easier said than. Especially in L.A. And you are not going to do that by cold approaching. Not that you can do that right now anyway, for the most part the state is still shut down. I like what you said and I actually said this to my therapist recently, I am going to be patient. Most guys (I was like this) are all about instant gratification. They want pussy and they want it now. Hell, one guy in here actually fucking said that working on yourself takes too long. Then had the audacity to say most guys are lame. The irony is immense. What I am doing and proposing is a strategic step back for men who actually want high quality women in their life. Because I will tell you right now, as a PUA, you take what you can get as long as the pussy is good. You are only looking to fill that black hole inside your heart by filling her hole. Does not work. Ever. But hey, everyone has agency. They can be as unconscious and egotistical as they wish. I am filling my own black hole. Now I want get a woman who matches that vibration. And in the process, I am leveling up. You know why? Because have finally realized that I don’t need anyone.

@ajai Luck is preparation meeting opportunity. When you say “I have bad luck” you really just did not take advantage of the opportunity when it presented itself. And there can be many reasons why in regards to love. Self sabotage is the most common one.

Cats are probably the most spiritual animal out there. There is a reason why witches use them as familiars ?.

I just say it as it is.

Dude, I live in L.A. I was a pick up artist for three years. Gamed in Hollywood, Venice, Santa Monica and etc. Got laid in bars and clubs. Even after I stopped pick up I still was able to date (honestly hotter) women and get one night stands without too much effort. Up until the pandemic I was still living the sex drugs and rock and roll lifestyle. Not that I care, but I am sure that if put in a venue with anyone on this forum who does pick up, I would get more numbers and get laid quicker. Though, by surveying the area, that would not be hard to do. How about I am way more mature than most you wannabe frat boys on here? I suggest you actually try to love yourself for once in your life. Might get your mental issues to go away.

I have a story that puts a nice point to what I said. Two male moose (Bulls), one old, one you g, are up on a hill as they see a group of female moose (Cows) grazing. The young moose turns to the older moose and says “what do you say we run down there and hump a few?” The older moose simply says “No. we’ll walk down there and hump them all”

I mean, there are guys doing this. Maybe I have been living in L.A too long, but there are guys who live like this. Yes, guys are hardwired for chase women. I have done this my whole life. But we are hardwired to do a lot of primitive things. Things that as self actualizing people we can transcend. It is like when I hear someone talking about wanting to get laid. That is so animalistic and low conscious. And I will say that women themselves love to chase high value men. That is because they are so rare. Keep in mind, there is a difference between chasing and pursuing. You have to pursue a woman to a certain extent. Like setting up dates, pulling and etc. That should be obvious. Chasing is different. Chasing is when you are deliberately going out of your way for a piece of ass. Which automatically puts you at lower value in the woman’s eyes. Which gets you seeking her approval. Btw, I am not saying to do it for women, but most guys here are desperate for ass so I was gearing that towards those men. I also never stated what I think a high value guy is. If you are referring to me talking about some hot shot on Wall Street, that was just an example. I only started talking like that because that dude was acting like pick up is the only solution to men’s dating problems. And it is not. It’s too bad the counterculture movement did not work. Not too many real hippie chicks out here these days.

I remember that John Lennon was frustrated with he could not maintain the psychedelic state. He tried using meditation and while he liked it, said that it never got him to that stage where he was on psychedelics.

Whatever, your evolution is your evolution. Guess there’s nothing wrong with negativity.

Never said it didn’t smart one. But there are higher levels to dating than pick up. Only guys that stay in puck up forever are stuck I stage orange/the achiever level. Once you decide to grow the fuck up you realize that it was only a stage and you rather attract with with a great lifestyle than jumping hoops. Grow up already.

Hopefully one day you get your out of your ass. Either that or someone just needs to knock you out to teach you a lesson. Because you clearly have no idea what you are talking about. You are just spewing the same pick up shit that has been around for years. Pathetic.

I used to have gastritis and smoked cigarettes. One day I looked down at my pack and asked myself “what the hell am I doing?” I quit right then and there. That was seven years ago. Though I had a puff when I was hooking up with this woman last year. Outside of of that, have not had a full cigarette in seven years.

@ColeMC01 Your mindset is the biggest thing that will prevent you from having success with women. If you believe yourself to be unattractive why won’t women too?

@Recursoinominado You are a real champ. I see where he is coming from. I used to think that way. This guy clearly is stuck in stage orange/the achiever level as he thinks that cold approaching is all what it’s about. He lacks an self awareness and spiritual maturity. He thinks that he is saying something high level when he is stuck in the mud. He is exactly the type of guy Leo spoke about in his rant against pick video years ago

Freedom=your happiness not be dictated by outer circumstances. Abundance once again comes from within. You can work as hard as you like, but you will never achieve abundance from the outside. It all depends on what your definition of abundance is. When I was young I thought that dating four women at one time meant true abundance. I was wrong. Shows where you are at. If you have abundance from within then you already know that you can have any woman that you desire. Only people who have of options or shitting relationships are people with lack mindsets. You are stuck in conventional thinking. I invite to realize that a lot of dating is really about inner work. The results are just a manifestation of your inner work. You see it as wrong because of your limited, unresourceful beliefs. Pick up is only a stage in life. I’m past it. When will you be? I mean if you just got started, I get it. But no true high value make does pick up. Pick up is meant for guys who have had trouble with with their whole lives. And you date high quality women? I bet when he goes out, tons of hot women give him choosing signals, a few will approach him, he’ll probably go over and talk to the most attractive woman who is giving him choosing signals and spend the night with her. A lot easier.

Okay, then why are you so focused on approaching? Not sorry to never approach. But a true high value male does not give a fuck about cold approaching. Do you think done hot shot on Wall Street who makes $2 million a year gives a fuck about cold approaching?

Dude, just go attract. Let’s see who is more fulfilled. Here is a hint. I am way happier than I was when I lived that sex drugs and rock and roll lifestyle. It’s called growing up. When you level up you will understand how limited your beliefs really are. Also, you are just doing things the hard way. But it’s okay, sone people learn through pain.

First off, she came out of no where. Was in the middle of the day, and I was not looking for anything. Secondly, you got to be rather attractive for women to approach you straight up as they never do. Why would I want things to be harder? You are just projecting here. I was a straight up pick up artist for nearly three years. Three years of cold approaching. I don’t give a fuck about some randomness woman rejecting me. It’s selection, not rejection. This is about maximizing your efforts. You have to understand that what I mean by approaching are when women throw choosing signals at you. Signs of initial attraction. To women, that is their way of approaching you. You approaching after this is just the woman allowing you to believe that you are making something happen. Eh, it’s a numbers game. Most women only date men in their social circle. I guess so. But you will have very little value and just be messing around with women who don’t fuck with you. Yes, sometimes you do have to raise a woman’s attraction. Maybe I am just past this stage, but why go for women who are going to make it harder on yourself when you can make yourself more attractive and therefore attract women who have a high level of interest? If you truly value yourself as a man you would only go after a woman who has a high level of interest in you. Yup. This is where most guys are at. No it is not. It’s called have a strategy that yields the highest results. Again, this only works if you are attractive. If you are not then it won’t be the case. I am way past looking at women like that. I don’t care about looks so much as energy. You have to be the first guy to say this. Even alpha male strategies hates shit tests. Nobody has got time for them. The only good thing about shit tests are the woman is usually interested. Eh, work on yourself for a few months, come back and see the difference. That is a very stage orange/achiever level/bro thing to say. Who gives a fuck about being an alpha male? I consider myself a sigma (basically an introverted alpha male). It is not about ego. It is about seeing how chasing is futile. You are actually like there is intrinsic value in cold approaching when there is none. Trust me. After years of doing it, I understand that. How about you try it for yourself? Take a break from approaching (though idk how you are approaching right now) until 2021. Just work on yourself. Go and approach New Year’s Eve. I bet you will have an easier go it at.

It’s how your were raised. If you were raised in a home where all your needs were met, your parents had a good marriage, they showed love to you, and did not abandon you, you will probably have “good luck” in love. But what if your daddy touched you inappropriately? What if your parents were always late when picking you up? You will probably become a love addict. What if you were abandoned my your parents? What if they never showed love? You will probably become a love avoidant. So the “luck” that you have in love was created. Created by childhood trauma which leads to feelings of lack, unworthiness and not being enough. You can re create it yourself.

I never said to not approach women. Though I have been approached by some attractive women. Dated one for a few months who did most of the initial pursuing. What I am saying is to stop chasing women. Only approach women who give you choosing signals. Then, the women are the ones who are approaching you. They are making it easier for you. Versus cold approaching women who see you as nothing and have to make a snap judgement. The problem is most guys are not attractive enough to get choosing signals and have to cold approach. If you became more attractive, you would notice that more women are throwing “looks” your way more often. True abundance comes from within. To manifest true abundance you have to manifest an abundance personality. Have the finer qualities of personality like authenticity, honesty, sincerity and etc. So you can “just approach”, play the numbers game and get lucky. Or you can create a lifestyle that draws women in. That in itself is actually much more work. But will yield more results. And is much more fulfilling than pick. Will also give you more confidence. Though, it is better if you can gain confidence without having to make money from a business. At the end of the day, cold approaching is a waste of time. Nine times out of ten you are approaching women who are throwing no choosing signals your way. Women who are not attracted to you. Then you have to display value and do this dancing monkey act that most guys get into. Then you get into this whole thing where you get jerked around by the woman and you wonder why? She was never really attracted to you in the first place. As men, we consciously go for the best cups. The most attractive women. This is because unconsciously we are seeking their approval and validation. When in fact there are always women giving choosing signals. They are just not women that you are attracted to. So if you desire those types of women that you dream of, it comes at bettering yourself, All I am saying is to value yourself more and create a lifestyle that draws women into you. You do not have to be a celebrity. Just have a good Instagram account, start a business, buy new clothes. Those three things alone will be enough. But more importantly, change who you are on the inside. That is what will make you more attractive.

It is interesting that you say that. The deeper that I go into myself through meditation, contemplation and looking at these desires, the less I care about dating or meeting a woman. The strong sex drive is still there. But I hade lost interest in chasing. I was chasing to fill that emptiness.

I have just noticed a lot of thirsty guys here. I suppose that is the norm. But let me ask you guys who are dying to have sex dying for a girlfriend: What do you think it will give you? Unconditional love? Nope. First off, unconditional love is a state of being, not a state of mind. Secondly, there is no one on this earth who is constantly emanating unconditional love. If you were, then you would have no problems. And I have never met anyone who does not have e a problem. Even hardcore Buddhist monks have problems. Fulfillment? I remember when I was a pick up artist for a few years. A year and a half of those were in Los Angeles. While it was not during the heyday of pick up, I was able to go out to different venues in Hollywood, Venice, Santa Monica and Downtown L.A and have a few one night stands. If I had not watched Leo’s rant on pick up artists I would have probably continued on that path. I look back now and those days make me few empty. Even my post pick up days pre pandemic when I was still using those skills. Yeah, I met some cool, fun women. But all I was looking for was sex. There were women who wanted a relationship with me, but I was so closed off to anything exclusive. In a way that is good as I got to learn more. But all the chasing amounted to not much outside of social skills. A life partner? You probably would act in a way where if you got her into a relationship, she would leave you. Security? You are barking up the wrong tree. Happiness? That’s like looking for drugs to give you happiness. No one can make you happy. A spiritual og once told me how self love used to be considered a mystical experience. What happened to that? Now all I see are a ton of co dependent men and women who cannot stand to be alone. I am not saying that you cannot be in a relationship. All I am saying is that sex and a relationships will not solve any of your issues. It will only put a mask over your feelings of lack. Your lack of self love.