Thestarguitarist14

It is certainly an attachment. You are seeing value in friendships when there is in fact no intrinsic value whatsoever. Nobody is nice. We all have a dark side. Of course all relationships are filled with turmoil to some degree. It’s just a matter of if the positives out weigh the negatives. And suffering is a choice. This is a common misconception of Buddhism. Most are. High quality friends are rare. Most people are mediocre. Of course there are good friendships just like there are good relationships and Panda Bears. All three just happen to be extremely rare. Truth is, good relationships are a rarity, especially with how society is built. The world is not built to have good relationships. It is built to have relationships that serve capitalism.

You see how that is just an attachment? Relationships with others be it platonic or romantic are always filled with turmoil. This is what Buddhism preaches. First off, not having any friends does not equate to a mediocre life. If you have friends who don’t understand you and won’t be there for you, that is the mediocre life. But, loyalty, compassion, empathy, integrity, trustworthiness, respect and understanding are some good and rare qualities in a friend.

Ha, this happened months ago. You know what I have been able to do in a spiritual level? Make peace with isolation, make peace with existential loneliness (I don’t really get lonely most of the time), and have a loving and healing relationship with...myself. That is far more valuable than most friendships today that are extremely surface level and usually people who just get together, get fucked up and talk about bullshit. When I do actually meet someone that I would desire a friendship with (rare), now it’s just icing on the cake. You mention needs. You can meet your own needs.

You don’t need anyone in this life. You can have friends. But you don’t need them. I have cut out all my friends and quite frankly I feel better.

Not saying to be fake here. Not saying to not be vulnerable. Be yourself. But if you are needy, you are going to lose attraction. Even if you are married for thirty years, you will lose attraction. That’s just a fact Try going to your girl and texting her how upset you are about her behavior. Or how much you are in love with her. That’s the fastest way to get a woman to dump you.

BAHAHAHAHA. I believe you are giving Western women far too much credit. Also discounting just how much women hate neediness from men.

Career driven women in my experience scream vanity and narcissism. It’s hard for a guy to see a future with a woman like that because she is too into herself.

Ah, so abandonment issues. You consciously may not feel any bad, but your inner child does. Your girlfriend ghosting you is triggering your abandonment issues, causing your inner child to throw a fit. Guided meditations for your sacral and heart chakras will help a ton. Here is a simple five minute meditation for your inner child. Close your eyes, take three deep breaths and imagine yourself as a child right after your father abandoned you. Pick up your child self and say “I’m sorry, you are loved, you are loved, you will never be abandoned.” Repeat this until the five minutes is up. Do this for two weeks straight. I did this after being ghosted and it had amazing results

If he can’t see her, she is not going to be able to feel his neediness if he has good “text game”. That is the good thing about texting.

He isn’t in the same city as her right now. If he is only texting her he can hide it all day long.

True. But if he expresses this neediness to her, he is just going to push her away. Possibly into the arms of another man. In this case, hiding his neediness is necessary if he desires to keep her. At the end of the day, the O.P is going to have to find the root of his neediness and resolve it. It is more then likely something from childhood.

To be fair, chasing women puts you in a lower position and there is nothing and I mean nothing that women hate more than needy men.

I use hypnotic meditations by entrance, made by two hypnotherapists. I also use hypnotic meditation from Michael Sealey and unlock your life. So powerful. They can really change your life.

Don’t be attached to her or a specific outcome. You can still pursue her. You can still be warm. But don’t be thinking about her constantly or chasing her approval. Keep in mind that no relationship will make you happy. That is just a lie that society feeds us. You don’t need her to get love either. Another lie from society. Fill your own cup and watch how this whole situation will resolve itself.

And that is your problem. Why are you so attached to her? She is not special. You could get another girlfriend if you so desired. You are placing far too much value onto her. She can sense this a mile away. That’s why she is not fucking with you. She knows that she can pull back and you are still going to be on her ass because you are emotionally attached. Detach with love. You can realize that just because someone is your girlfriend does not mean that you must put up with her narcissistic behavior.

Precisely. Pay her no mind. You texting her is just going to put you in a runner/chaser situation.

Well, there’s your problem. When you play games, she is goi g respond with her games. The only thing women can do is shit test you and pull back to get your attention. She pulled back to gain control. All you can do is not play into it. Live your life, work on yourself. It is not easy, but if she is actually into you she will hot you back up.

Of course he wanted to pork her.

I thought that the anime discussion was interesting, so I thought that I’d do one for manga. Most anime is based off mangas in the first place. Me personally, I prefer the mangas that do not become anime shows or movies. Manga artists tend to be regarded like novelists as well. My favorite manga artist is Inio Asano. I his dark realism. His art work is amazing . His writing is great. Goodnight Pun Pun is probably my favorite manga. Solain, Girl on the Shore, Downfall and dead dead demon dede destruction are top notch as well. What’s interesting is that none of his works have become Animes. Shuzo Oshimi is similar to Asano. He did have one of his mangas become an anime though, Flowers of Evil. Ai Yazawa is great. Her manga has this down to earth vibe that cannot be beat. She is just so authentic. Nana is both a great manga and anime. Paradise Kiss as well. I really enjoy reading the Attack On Titan Manga, it is a great read. The Full Metal Alchemist Manga was too. The crazy thing is that I woman wrote and drew it such a masculine story.

Buying a mansion and having sex with a bunch of models while extremely pleasurable does not bring you happiness. Nor does an exciting social life or being a confident business entrepreneur. People who do not have fomo see that the people who disapprove of their lives don’t have lives that they want anyway. They like what they have in life, what they have created and are fulfilled. They do things for the sake of experience versus what it gives them. They feel empowered to create the life that they desire. They do not have this feeling that they have to do something just because they committed to it. People who have fomo usually have a lot of shame about their attitude and behavior.

Probably childhood trauma from their parents. The novel/anime welcome to the nhk is a good depiction of how a hikikomori becomes ones. The writer himself was a hikikomori. Lots of self esteem issues s. I remember reading how average to below average girls wish that they could get cat calls because they never get approached. Only women with good bodies/good looks get approached. .

@soos_mite_ah You’re going to have to give the guy something other than sex to make him want to stay. Believe it or not, guys like other things in women outside of sex. A good personality for example.

Hikkomoris/Neets are not introverts. They are shut ins who are too afraid to talk to people. These people tend to have huge mental issues. Introverts cam be social. They just feel more energized while they are alone.

That’s usually how it works.

You must not know that many guys then. Studies have shown that millennials are not really having much sex.