SamC

its so true @Leo Gura This is exactly what I'm figuring out currently but it's hard though cause I don't know how hard I should push it. I'm doing meaningful work and that's thanks to the LP course , I even sended you a great testimony *** I have the best words Right now for example, I want to do some kriya yoga followd by self compassion before I go to bed. It's late, but I know it will befinift me. At the same time I of corse am aware that I am kind of driven by fear, which means that what may be the right answer is to not push. Than Again maybe the right answer is to push. Sometimes you should push and sometimes not. so then.. is it really wise to continue pushing If I'm driven by fear? Isn't that repeating the same fear pattern? Shouldn't I just let myself a brake and not be so neurotic about me having to do this? At the same time if I'm scared I'll repeat the fear pattern ain't I then by default repeating the fear pattern? soo, what's the paradox? What's the nuance I'm missing?

I think you're wrong actually. I work super hard - often also even way to hard so I end up burning myself out. My problem is not that I can't do it, my problem is that I am driven a lot by negative motivation and that it robs my life. I need to step towards positive motivation - cause the negative motivation is self destructive.

Love this so much. Yeah this is 100% the case. I've been manipulating stuff my whole life and been working super hard and pushed myself into the wall. All because I have felt like I've been worthless and felt like I HAVE TO do X. I'm moving drastically towards loving myself and acceptance of everything but it's still very forigien to me. This is why I face this challenge now. It's one of the thing's that is involved with loving myself more.

Super interesting mate. Yeah I know rock bottom is one approach but the thing with that approach is that it is negatively motivated. This approach often leads to jojo effect and it is at the same time as you're saying a dangerous path. I think there is another approach where you do what you want and you do it with love and positive motivation and higher conciousness ( and that somehow also includes sometimes letting your ego get what it wants - which in reality is getting you what you want. I think it's a procces where you almost take the ego's needs as your own and don't repress it but at the same time - doing what you want, aka what you think you need to be happy and move closer towards where you want to be. Sometimes that may mean skipping a day of working out. Idk. David goggins would tell me to shut up and go carry the fucking boats - but that's clearly not sustainable. I'll look at the videos though. Thanks!

The problem is that there is a split. I huge part of me want's to do stuff that aligns with my vision but a part of me wants to eat icecream. Sometimes the icecream guy in me is telling me - I want it now and then what the fuck should one do. Should I do what I want as teal swan or realize that the other part of me doesn't want icecream and three for not eat it.. but than I'm not doing what I want and I'm denying myself. What's the right approach?

I think I was a bit unclear. I want to do all of this stuff ( meditation, working out, studying ect) but I don't always want to do them. It's not rainbows and butterflies all the time. Actually, I'm already doing a lot of things consistently. I visualize, meditate and do yoga everyday and I love it.. but that doesn't mean I always want to do it because it involves emotional labor. I still think you got a point though cause I can focus even more of my efforts towards building an even bigger vision for myself. For example i would greatly benefit from start contemplating my death and taking even more action to reinforce and build my LP vision but I think there is one important piece of the puzzle that I am missing. To illustrate what I mean look at this.. XXXXXXX = the conecept always doing what you love but it's a paradox which I don't get. This is what I'm trying to discover via this post. Here is a theoretical equation for motivation. Life purpose + super detailed and concrete vision + contemplation about death + shadow work + propor expectations + conciousness work + XXXXXXX = a lot of fucking motivation. I need to continue to work on all of the above but the thing is that I as of now don't know what XXXXXXX even means. I know I need it but I don't understand it. Do you have any idea how to explain this paradox?? It's a very complicated equation to develop super motivation - and an even bigger quest to transcend yourself. My current challenge is to understand this paradox! Thanks for your input though! The video you shared about contemplating death was an eye opener- and yeah, an even bigger vision is defintely needed!

Yeah but see how sneaky this is. If you always to what the higher self wants to do - than when will you rest and allow yourself to do the things you sometimes want to do aswell? If you deny your lower self - that's not good either. So Maybe the point is that repressing stuff also is ego which means that if you force yourself you're using your lower self and not your higher self. Therefor you have to kind of listen to what's best for you according to to higher self which sometimes means being easy on yourself - and sometimes not. It's an interesting hypothesis nontheless!

Not sure what you're talking about, hats are the best!

Already do Awsome, thanks Leo! Gym life is the best life I hear you though - thanks for your input!

Is this bulletproof if you want to pick up hot witches aswell? Asking for a friend.@Leo Gura

Bro this is super good. You're taking massive steps in the right direction - keep. Fucking going. I know know how it feels when you " make a mistake " and judge yourself for it. It hurts to feel worthless - again, and again and again cause that's the feeling you're running away from. This is an insight, that has helped me a lot in my journy. Let yourself feel worthless, anxiety, anger - EVERYTHING. It's the emotions you're running away from - start facing them by ALLOWING them. Right now you're at war with yourself - let those feelings to exsist. You're growing man. Keep taking those small wins, cause we both now that small wins - leads to big victories. You're getting there, one step at a time. Keep going!

Super interesting! I'm going through a big shadow work presently. Can you expand on that? What sort of shadow work/ things did you do?

Woman love sex. I know I still don't belive it but it's true?.

We got you bro

And show intent. That you are there to fuck here - not to be her friend. This is according to my research one of the most important thing.

@Gesundheit @Tim R 1: When you enable a narcissist you're doing it out of fear and thorugh being manipulated ( Which has happend cause they have found what your fears and triggers are). If you were to act out of love in this situation, you would stay the fuck away from this person 2: Let's take your example, if one were to be abused by a narcissist.. what are some ways to handle the situation. You can either A: Hate the narcissist, hate yourself for falling for the narcissist, hate yourself for hating the narcissist and as a result become bitter for the rest of your life. That's a choice, and there is nothing wrong with that choice, the only question is if that's the thing you want moving forward. ( do you see how this will just create more suffering, ego and evil?) Or B Allow yourself to feel all of your different emotions of hate e.ct towards yourself and that person and love, accept and honor your/ that experience. Loving something = acceptance of everything just as it is, including your ego's view of the experience. This alternative doesn't include, wanting to enable a narcissist - only accepting your feelings and behaviors as they are. Now, ask yourself if you were to choose, which one is the " best" way to go about managing this problem with an abusing narcissists? Is the answer moving forward, honoring/ accepting your feelings, taking steps toheal and develop yoursellf or is it hating those feelings? The only way to counter hate is with love, so when you hate something, whatever it is.. love that you hate it. Meet your ego with love and acceptance. "Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses"

It's a paradox. You want to accept the ego to be able to transcend it. Otherwise you will create more ego. It's the same with yourself. You can't use fear/ negative motivation to change yourself in a core sort of way. First you need to accept yourself, than you can transcend yourself. If you hate that you hate yourself more fear and hate will come up and you'll be stuck in the same pattern. Same goes for ego. If you perceive that the concept "ego" is bad - you also partake in the same pattern and create more ego. You can't hate your ego to death - only love it.

Bro, I would be careful with this girl. I don't know but somehing feels super off. On top of this, you say you have attracted similar girls before. It is a red flag. Yeah and nice girls don't do that. Most woman are super sensitive to set people in pain. Not saying that she is but in some ways she reminds me of narrcisst. 20 points to buy her a house, are you kidding me?? Be careful man! This doesn't sound like normal games. This gets me thinking of spiral dynamics stage red and a power game, disguised as a joke. " ohh but it's just a joke"... no it's just super weird. You have the total right to feel your feelings, don't let her gaslight you into believing you're overreacting. Your feelings are your feelings and they are true. You have the right to feel hurt - they are the perfect indicator to your reality. Note though bro, that I don't know shit about her, you or your relationship so don't take my words as the truth. I hope that this is not the case and that I am terrible wrong. I have also read a lot of your posts and you sound like a super awsome guy. You deserve the best! Don't let gits, good gestures and stories manipulate you - listen to peoples energi and intent, not their words. Again she might be awsome and it might be as she explained, I don't know, but keep an eye on her. All the best man!

Awsome that you care about this person mate - I've been in similar situations many times. What I'm trying to get at is that you're emotionally codependent to her. You see your path, as a way to save her. " I tend to want to bring people with me, and she seems like she needs somebody to ground her as well as push her to develop". In other words her obsession and desperste need of you makes you feel loved, it's deep stuff. You give her secerity and is her savior in a way. If you're where to leave her you would fear for her future health and development, and you know that. Why? Cause She needs someone to ground her - aka she needs you. Just like you need her. Note bro, that its nothing wrong about that, but it's destructive in the long turn. It will cause a lot of suffering and destroy the relationship. That's my message and perspective, now do whatever the fuck you want it. Take care man.

Yeah an archetype who symbolizes something. Me too, you have no idea?. I do this a bit to much for my own good though. It's a challenge, but a fun one to find a good match!

Meditation helps with everything. Than again - if you're not motivated and see the benefits you won't do it.. cause the point with meditation is not to make more money, it's to become happier. Therefor - look at this below to get a good case to meditate??? Why do you want to earn money? Probably cause you belive that if you make X amount of money you will be happy, fulfilled and enough, but do you see what you did there? You asked will meditation help me get more money. And the answer is indirectly yes... but you didn't ask - will meditation make me happier more fulfilled. Eventhough that's what you seek thourgh earning more money. It's nothing wrong to want to make money - it's a necessity for life and survival and it get's you cool stuff. Go and pursue it if that's what you want.. but also pursue happiness/ stillness cause when you're happy - you will get more money, be more energetic and of corse - be even happier when you get the money?.

Psychotherapy and meditation is self help though Get what you mean though, start with the basics - fix your issues first, but that often includes self help or cultivating self acceptance/ self love/healing which is a form of self help.

The truth is that you can't really help her. You can give ger love, support and suggestions as to what you think might help her but it's her life, Only she can solve her issues. I understand that you want to help her and that's okey and super caring you, but in reality - you can't be her savior. Eventhough she and you would like that to be the case. You're codependent to her, which is super understandable - but it's not healthy and beneficial for you or your relationship in the long turn. It will destroy it. I would honestly try to get out of this relationship and than figure out why you got into this relationship in the first place. What does she give you that you desperately need? What can you give her that she desperately needs. If this is not an option, be there for her, give her love support and meet her with understanding. You have your life to live, it's not the partners task to save the other partner. That's not love, that's fear and codependency.

I would focus on 1 habit at a time. A good habit usually tends to have a positive carry over effect on your other habits though. This means that you might start to eat even healthier and do other stuff that's beneficial for you if you were to let's say start to meditating. Don't be to seduced by this though! Note that an extension on your habit is not automatic if it's not something you're doing. The ideal approach to habit building is to create a system where you do something repetitively on the SAME TIME, SAME DAY.. every single time you're doing the habit. This is of corse impossible sometimes, but remember, that the habit is not the goal - your desired lifestyle is. So focus on one thing to improve and do it consistently ideally at a specific day/ time and nail that one in. Than do the next! Otherwise you won't be able to stick to it and you will fall back. Slow and steady wins the race, build quality habits that lasts, don't rush the process!

Fuck RSD I have found the real shit?