SamC

Thoughts and concepts baby It's just an idea that is created to get love - yet love is all there is

Not being overly proud of oneself. How to be an ordinary person.

Bingo Yeah I know. Yet, I still want certain stuff so bad that people have and that I don't have. It's an ego thing. Almost like, if you have something and I don't - no one should have it. It's a neediness Ahh Insight popped,Now I get it I think. Cause that thing that X person has Is valueble and if someone has that X Thing that I don't have and that means that he is valueble and deserving of love, while I am not and therefore I don't want the person to have it cause I see it as a zero sum game where if that person has it and I don't - I lose ( don't get love)

Might have to plug some 5meo in my ass

I think lack of self love and self esteem is what is lacking actually. This pic gave me that intuition. Thanks for sharing

Yeah but the question is, is there something else I am missing?

@neutralempty This is the most interesting thing ever. Thank you so much for sharing. Where have you learned this? Do you have any recommended recorses to learn more about this? I don't think this can be created if the other one is in fear mode aswell though ( if the motivation to do it, is selfish). Besides that - this is not about fixing someone in that way right? This to me sounds more like some sage level loving shit and just accepting the person as they are and giving love. Maybe this is what they mean by the quote, " love can heal". Hmmmm. Again thanks for sharing, if there is anymore you want to add aswell, feel free to do so (:

This might very well be the case! What gets me thinking however is if this dynamic is because of me and that I therefor simply can't attract a girl who is not depressed. ( because of my inner game) I am aware this sounds like a limiting belifef but on the other hand, the inner game is most certainly the root cause to this problem in some way... But you know what, maybe it's a paradox. Maybe it is my inner game but if I choose consciously and get out and pick up some high quality girls, that will help me to heal/ reprogram my mind? What do you say about this theory?@Leo Gura Anyway I certainly should try going outside my social circle before drawing any more conclusions about this. Experience is king, only than I will now what is true.

Not sure what you mean. feel free to elaborate and explain (: If you mean that the highest form of self love in this case is to not go into a Codependent relationship, I agree. Thats my whole point

My man, you're spiral dynamics stage Yellow. That's what I thought! Lol. One can legit sense that! Thanks for the info. @flowboy

A suicidal depressed girl is not high quality, in the same way as a alcoholic or drug addict guy is not high quality. It's not about the value or quality in that sense though, it's more about - will this be healthy. I know many woman and men who got attracted to eachoter and one was a total freak. It's not about attraction or love - it's about if the relationship is based on codependency/ dependency or not. Why shouldn't an Incel who isn't perfect not be loved? Cause it's about survival, not unconditional love. ( and unconditional does not include becoming codependent btw, codependent relationships = fear and ego. Not love. One should have nothing to do with trying to fix someone. Sure, you could want to help but not fix someone from scratch. That's A impossible and B super unloving towards yourself. The relationship will be toxic. Again, It's not about not loving someone. It's about loving yourself enough to understand that a codependent relationship - is not good for you, or the other person in the long run.

@neutralempty Super true! (: What do you want? Just curios.

You're too kind. The same love and support is coming right back at ya. It's true, we need to work on ourselves and than find a woman who is compatible to that person we are yet to become ( and at the same time we already are). It's important to note though, a loving girl is not = a girl who is desperatly needs us. I need to make that distinction. Yeah man, I know - openmindness for the girl is one of the keys. I'm always scanning for that. What is a bit sad however is that, some girls can be super openminded but at the sametime super depressed. Good luck to you and in your journy. I hope you will get all that you want - you seem like a great guy, who deserves the best. #wewantpussyaswellthough

Sex And a partner who can develop with me towards self actualization and self transcendence. I want to be there for people but I can't really " help"/ save someone. I realize people need to develop in their own time

Guess I am more fucked up than I thought I was. I have started noticing this more and more, and fuck man - I kinda like it lmao. You're spitting some super high quality knowledge bombs lolz. Mind sharing where and how you attain and build your knowledge? What do you do?

I'm not in a relationship to be a therapist. That's not a relationship, that's codependency. My problem is that they are the girls that get attracted to me, probably cause they get what they want ( security) and I get what I want ( their unconditional love, cause they need me so so so much)

Well in some ways yeah. It makes me feel loved but I can't really help them and it is super unhealthy. I just met another girl through instagram who is depressed and shit and I had to stop myself from trying to attract her, cause even if I would have succeeded - that wouldn't be good for my life or her.... but I so desperately want the love. I'm Neddy for love, I know, I know. I'm working on it

I can't help them and I know that, yet those are the girls that get attracted to me.

@Leo Gura 7 + almost all of my friends are pretty fucked up aswell. ( 3-6 peeps idk) Seems like I am drawn to people who need a lot of emotional support.

Thank you, I appreciate it!

100%. I should really research this more. You want radical honesty? @LordFalldefinitly not lolz. I would feel TERRIFIED. Right now I don't feel worthy of that or even a relationship at all. Therefor, I don't think I would even 1: Be able to attract a girl like that and 2: Be able to handle such a relationship. I don't think I even have a friendship that is not based on codependency. Having a romantic intimate relationship seems right now impossible. ( I know it's not, but that's what my subconscious belive) I could tell you, sure man that would be possible to do, but that would just be me lying to myself and avoiding the fact that I have low self esteem.

Yeah, Will do Wow, This is Gold. This comes from my dad, he has low self esteem and perfectionism. When I'm thinking about it.. yeah, actually. I'm the supporting voice in the family and that supporting/ solving of emotional problems have given me love. Never thought about it that way before, but fuck it's true. Being needed is my way of getting love, even in my family dynamic. ( atleast for my dad...,) Wow, I get it more now but at the same time, this made me even more confused with more " ????". Thank you bro, I appreciate it. @flowboy ???????? thank you

You're right, the only difference is the content of the struggle

As title

1: Life purpose 2: Seduction 3: Self esteem 4: Self love/ self acceptance/ parts work 5: Boundary work 6: " authenticy work" ( figuring out who you are and letting yourself Express all of that) 7: Financial independence 8: Conciousness work 9: Humor 10: Social skills/ emotional intelligence. 11: health and fitness. 12: Emotional mastery Ect.. Or in other words, develop yourself to the fullest. SELF ACTUALIZE. You want requisite variety huh? Down below is Leo's list of subfields in personal development. You've got your list and a video on the most big picture overwiev in how to become a great man. Now go execute!