SamC

Let yourself feel your emotions. Feel that you don't want to forgive + the resistance towards feeling it. Emotions are not dangerous - only thinking make it so.

@Preety_India The bias in this is remarkable. OP didn't mention anything about men. Besides this he said some woman, not all woman. Why is this not to be addressed aswell? Some woman are manipulative assholes, some men are manipulative assholes. Both things should be able to be discussed and investigated further. You belive all men are manipulative assholes and then project that he said that all woman are manipulative assholes. All this is completly understandable cause you've had terrible bad experiences in the past with different men, but don't fall into to the woman red pill ideology. It's very easy to blame a man. Very hard to understand a man. All this " Men are manipulative " tropes are archaic. More nuance is needed. Some people from all genders and sexes are manipulative and toxic. Case ended. Lolz. What do you think you're doing when you blame men? You also shift blame and egotrip away to the land where everything is men's fault. Sure some men are manipulative asshole fuckfaces but that doesn't mean all men are. In your mind everything will always be men's fault

My zone of genius is the give direct deep insights about the world and people when I am talking to people. My zone of genius is in other words, super similar to Leo's which is to give people deep insights about themselves and the world, but still contextualized to me. My life purpose is doing the same stuff as leo, but in a different way. It's fine to want to do the same or a similar thing as another person - as long as you're doing it in your own way, style and according to your absolute strength. Personal development is the most meaningful thing in life. I'm biased of corse, but what else is there to do? So don't worry about it - but find your unique life purpose, where no one can compete with you and where your zone of genius lives. That's my answer to it, but the maker of the LP course can probably help you even more and a lot better, right@Leo Gura ?

Rock solid advice thank you. Also another advice is to do a semi long wim Hoff method practice as the first thing. ( I do it in my bed half dead every day lmao) Not sure if it's optimal to shock the body like what, but it works really well for me. This is something I have to experiment with. You're so right, one should optimally opt for waking up naturally. It has been pretty hard for me to get up by myself In the past though. Thanks a ton!!

Roger that. Thanks, love this. That visualisation thing might be a game changer. What I did before that seemed to work is to write and answer the following questions in a journal 1: what I will do the first thing when I wake B 2: Why I am doing it. 3: What positve emotions I will feel when I have done it The visualisation might be what I'm looking for, especially if I combine it with other stuff. Thanks a ton for that@peanutspathtotruth Good stuff Got it. Interesting approach and perspective. Thank you! I might experiment with this in the future(:

Okey #fap5timesperdayitisthen

@benny The five love languages I've I've heard is a good one, check it out! Besides that I would higly reccomend buying Leo's booklist. He has some really life changing books on this exact topic.

@Preety_India Just fooling with ya. A combo of both is the best way to understand woman in my humble opinion. The same goes with psychology in general. Principles and concepts can be super useful if you want to understand something deeply.

I know I adore your efforts in trying to understand guys perspective - It's a rare thing. If we all did more of that, we will soon be able to turn this shaft called society around.

You can't trust girls though - better to read a book about it

@soos_mite_ah Interesting read. If you want to get a more nuanced understanding of pick up I think it's hyper important to continiusly work to understand guy's struggles in daiting. I'll try to provid with some insights about this next and will put it in the context of when guys debate about why pick up is valid. When pick up and strategies to attract girls is attacked, a lot of guys - including myself feel terrible misunderstood. It feels like girls when doing this don't take our concerns seriously and don't understand the struggles we are going thourgh when trying to attract girls. This feeling of not being understood is also reinforced and created when girls tell guys what attracts them but then is attracted to the opposite. In other words, many guys feel really hurt when they feel like girls do not understand, empathize or even to the slightest care to take on the man's perspective. When girls on top of that says - pick up is bad, many guys explode out of anger... cause the message is than again the projected sense of worthlessness, that I am not enough and that I should change. Bingo, that insight came now, that's it - guys feel that when girls criticize pick up that the girls is telling them they are not enough, aka juding them to not be enough ( it's a projection of the feared self image of being worthless) This of corse mostly happens because the girls who rebell against pick up, also feel misunderstood and probably also feel like men are telling them they are not enough/ should change when girls feels like guys don't understand them. Both sexes the same challange. it's the same structure in terms of thinking - only the content of the thinking is different. In sum, the whole discussion all boils down to that guys feel misunderstood and not empathized with and that girls feels misunderstood and not empathized with. (Side note, this dynamic is super similar to a super toxic relationship with compatibility issues.) Anyway, In order for all of us to step more into spiral dynamics stage yellow - we need to understand the other side better and heal ourselves and our trauma so that we can allow ourselves to love and accept ourselves and others - as we are. That's the work, that's the way to get the deepest understanding of pickup possible.

Got it. I'm doing that. Any other tips for happiness?

I have a spiral dynamics red/ orange shadow which boils up as me feeling envious and jealus when people get things I don't. I'm super scared I will miss everything in life and that people will succeed and that I won't. ( Fomo in other words) I am because of this fear constantly acting and playing a role in order to get the things that I am lacking, and to not look inferior to anyone. What are some ways to work on envy? What are the root causes to envy? Would love your tips and guidance. Thank you! @Leo Gura

Are you angry at them or other people for not giving you the support and love you need?@Preety_India

I understand it's super tough Preety. Neither I or anyone else can understand your pain and emotions but we can empathize, be there for you and understand that this situation is super painful for you. Number 1 thing is that It's okey to feel like you feel. Let yourself feel your emotions, this including the emotions that you don't want to or " shouldn't" feel like this. I understand that it is though.. really tough and I cant say anything to make you feel better or change your situation. But we can listen. You asked what you should do. I'm no expert by any means but what I've found has been helpful to me atleast is this self compassion meditation. In other words Practiceing and cultivating kindness and compassion to your self is in my humble opinion, one of the best ways to deal with suffering. https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/LKM.self-compassion_cleaned_01-cleanedbydan.mp3 Furthermore I'll link some Teal swan videos that I think might be helpful. Note I don't know you at all, but this is from what I belive would beneficial for you. Remember that only you can know and decide what's best for you and what you think is worth watching. Again, this is suggestions to how you can go about dealing with this. You don't have to do anything - but I think these videos, feeling your emotions and the self compassion meditation would aid you greatly in this challenging time. All love

@Setzer901 Thanks a ton man! I Will check it out for sure!

@NatureB Appreciate this a lot man! Thanks for the tip.

@Leo Gura I have a belief that when I sort my problems with getting girls everything will be fine but I think it is bullshit. What do you guys say? Did it improve your self esteem or not? Did it make you more secure and confident or not?

@Heaven Would love some insights in how to be happy (:

@soos_mite_ah Yeah exactly. Being exploited,used, manipulated and dominated in a social setting - which many girls connect with the patriarchy. This is the spiral dynamics green shadow - which hits back on orange, cause a lot of girls have been terrible hurt by men like this. ( not saying there doesn't exists problem with inequality, cause it sure does and it is something society has to find root solutions too.) Or to put it in other words, been objectified and under oppression by narcissistic guys who manipulate them and use them. That's from what I understand one of girl's main problem with pick up and I get it. What is important to pay attention to however is that catch is often used as a metaphor to ATTRACT a girl, not manipulate, oppress, dominate and hurt girls. Some guys will do it of corse, but that doesn't mean all guys see you as prey in that sense. Guys want you, that's why they approach you - than you either reject the guy or get attracted to the guy. There are terrible unconscious ways of pick up, but don't draw the conclusion that prey = dominate and manipulate girls in pick up. It can and is sometimes used that way, but many times It is not. Catch is often = attract and not dominate. Note however, one could argue that the woman is the hunter and that guys are the fish swimming towards you. The asshole guys would in this metaphor be the shark pretending to be a nice high value fish, that thendo what sharks do. Lmao Also become aware that being a creepy/cringy guy can just be a guy who is super needy, insecure and socially awkward, or to put it in the analogy a small baby fish which you girls don't want to catch. I have been cringy and social awkward with girls countless of times, but that doesn't mean I am creep. Just that I in that situation didn't knew how to go about hunting, aka attract the girl and project the things the girl wanted. This is something guys can learn though.. I'll say it again pick up exists so that guys can learn to be less creepy and socially awkward and instead attract girls if it is approached with high consciousness. The Pick up mentality doesn't have to mean to oppress girls

@soos_mite_ah The phrase, "don't ask a fish how to hunt it " is used in pick up because girls don't know what attracts them. The man needs to " hunt" aka attract the girl to get the girl, but hunt doesn't mean that all guys just see you as flesh and bones with a hole. Sure the asshole player that you probably have encountered do - but most guys who get into pick up want to get good with girls, cause they can't even " hunt" aka attract a single girl to save his life. Not all guys are manipulative dominant low conciousness assholes. Listen I of corse get why girls don't like it when that phrase is being used, cause this makes you feel objectified. This because they draw the conclusion that this saying, is encourageing guys to manipulate girl and than use them for sex like that asshoke guy. That's from how I understand it the biggest problem girls see with pickup, and honestly, it is valid in a sense. But remember, the saying don't ask a fish how to hunt it, doesn't have to mean that guys should manipulate you, lie to you and use you for sex - but to attract you. Cause that's basically what all pick up guys want - to attract you. Than some will abuse that power and that's sad, but don't let them take away the meaning of what pick up is. Cause all guys are belive it or not - not psychopathic assholes. Second. You have to appreciate that attracting a girls is hard. It's not a passive act, as it is for girls. If guys want apperience, girls choose personality. See.. You won't sleep with a homeless 42 year old incel who has an half inch of a dick and who lives in his grandma's basement. You just won't.. This guy, would benefit from learning pick up, cause if he wouldn't than you would discriminate against him. " But guys want to find someone who accept them as they are - who will accept them even if he is creepy, socially awkward, uncharismatic and needy" Yet no woman will pick him, no woman will look in the ocean of men and choose to " eat" this fish. That's why pick up was created. Men try to hunt girls, and girls try to gather men. Both objectifie eachother. Why can't you love that guy? That's so discriminating. In fact guys want to be loved as who they are, not only if you can get what you want from them. ( confidence, security ect) another way of looking at it is that- guys have to attract woman, and woman choose which one they want. Both are selfish. Again, Pick up is about learning to attract girls - and without it, you would have a harder to find a valueble man to pluck. Cause there would be less high value men in the ocean, swimming towards you. Girls also like to hunt, but only the big fish

A couple of days ago I got the idea to investigate more into the fears, insecurities and struggles girls face in daiting. Oh God, how shocked I was. Many comments on the youtube videos feuturing how woman can attract men - reminded me of myself. The anger, fear, ego and frustration.. all of it was there. Many angry woman even used the same rationalizations that I used against the girls who have rejected me. That on a structure level though, because the content of what they said was obviously different. To the point - The false and limiting beliefs that was portrayed about men in the comment sections in these videos was many times flat out wrong, biased, skewed and sometimes even borderline crazy. Yet, I still believed in similar ones, but which regarded woman. That being said, it would be werid and irrational to assume that I at the same time am not biased, wrong and carry similar limiting beliefs about girls. Cause this is the perfect mirror if you're angry at girls. ( I mean think about it - it's your problem but from the opposite perspective) My advise is therefor if you're called to do it to look in that mirror! Open up your heart and mind for the fact that some girls feel just as angry and misunderstood as you do. Don't shut down the possibility that the same anger and hoplessness that you're feeling is what is driving woman aswell. Discover what is true for yourself! Be curious about If that's the case or not. Try to understand what their anger is - cause if you can understand that, you're one step closer to understand that exact struggle, but within yourself. And for the real self honest pros out there - go look at the comments on this video down below. Be careful though, cause you might discover something about yourself in the proccess. ... P.s - if anger arises when reading the comments. That's the mirror in action right there. You're on the right track.

I'm curios @Leo Gura Is it possible for woman to understand what attracts them? If not, why is that the case? What's the difference between men and woman here? I mean guys seem to be pretty okey at pin pointing what will make him attract attracted.. why are girls pinpointing so off?

I'm open for it to be the case

@Globalcollective Yeah, one can get into a rabbit hole to escape, mask and distract from the problem. Kinda scary actually