SamC

@Strangeloop If I were you I would go talk to a therapist about it. It sounds to me like you have a lot of shame and fear around being gay which is a good indication that it is something you're trying to deny, suppress and reject within yourself. Working and investigating this is the key. The reason why you're trying to deny and reject it spells out the soultion. What that is I don't know, that's where a therapist might come in handy. You obviously belive there is something deficient within you, because you're super self conscious of your behavior. My guess is therefor that this somehow is connected to your low self esteem because you belive you shouldn't be a certain way in order to be accepted/ enough. Than again, I don't know - I am just speculating. You have to draw your own conclusions and investigate the matter for yourself.

Sooo what would you say?@JosephKnecht

I don't know the answer but I would really like to know his answer. @Leo Gura

@Strangeloop How much anxiety, fear and shame would you feel in a situation where you found yourself wanting to do this? Rate on a scale from 1-10

What's the worst part about being gay?

Investigate the term Emeshment trauma

@Keyhole Forgot to tag you

You're a true inspiration. I am so so impressed by your self awarness. Wow, where have you gotten this awarness from? I interpret it as that you some time ago discovered the narccism within yourself and than integrated/ resolved it. To be able to do that and go past that is so amzingly fucking rare and hard. Another amazing thing is that you say that you didnt saw it as you, just a conditioning. How did you do it? Whree did you get this level of awarness? Any tips? What have your methods been? What made it click? When was the enough is enough moment? How long did it take? Love.

This is huge I think. I as a person who have emeshment trauma heavily judge myself and that is than reflected outwards to other people. This gets even more clear when I judge narcissists because I not only judge the narccism, I judge the narccism/ assertivness within myself because that is the shadow that I deny within myself in order to get love from other people. Fuck that's it - I deny my identity for it. Maybe this was what you meant before? @Keyhole

Awsome insights. What would you as someone who have worked with narccism in sessions argue is the core reason why people develop hypersensitive narccissm?@Nahm

@Keyhole Interesting points thanks for sharing. I belive it's super important to cover hyper sensitive narccissm though, becuase a lot of people have suffered from a situation where they have been blamed for being narcissistic/ being wrong by people who score high on this type of narccism. More awarness is needed around this so that people can brake out of this dynamic and heal from emeshment trauma + develop a sense of self worth, self concept and self trust in that one can operate for one's best interest. Integrating and seeing your own narccism is of corse really important aswell and yeah all have narcissism in the psyche which needs to be seen, integrated and resolved if one wants to develop to the highest potential. The one doesn't have to exclude the other.

@Keyhole Not sure what you're trying to get at here. This threads goal is to picture and cover highly sensitive narccism.. not cause division. Covering this topic is not a witch hunt. Many people who get into relationships with highly sensitive narcissists are in fact the opposite to a highly sensative narcissistic person. They are often people pleasers and therefor look for the problem inside cause they belive that they are flawed/ wrong. The Higly sensative narcissistic person do the opposite, they project and deflect, and don't reflect. The problem for them is always outside, not inside. The reason why this is important to cover is exactly because of that fact... many people believe they are the narcissist when in fact they are not. Looking for the narccism within yourself is only a problem for those who blame everything on everyone else, for those who project and not reflect.

Theory of knowledge

@Joelvs forgot the tag

What hint on perfektionsim are you talking about? And where did I say they are connected? Hypersensitiv narcisism and low self esteem are connected but at the same time not connected. I don't think you are an example of high scores of hypersensitive narccissm for example. My guess is that it is the opposite. You people please in order to get approval. You see, hyper sensitive narccissm is followed by a different kind of low self esteem which by default is paired with projecting the problem outside. People with the type of fluctuating low self esteem like i think you have do the opposite. You always look for what's wrong with yourself. ( try to fix yourself) This happens because you always try not be wrong because you believe that who you are is wrong because you have always been forced to play a role to fit into your parents narrative. The same dynamic is now mirrored in every relationship you have. You feel " good" when you're able to be the person you think you need to be ( confident and secure) but when you fail playing that role, your confidence and self esteem bleades down on the floor. In other words, you're not authentic, alpha and confident - you're only playing that role because you think you need to play that role to get belonging and love. The solution? You need to learn how to assert yourself, trust yourself and set boundaries with other people. In other words you need to dare to be who you are with other people and not sacrifice yourself for relationships. P.s Your emotions, thoughts, preferences and experiences are valid - don't let someone say that it is your fault or something wrong with you. Cause there is nothing wrong with you! Tip - watch Teal swans vids on emeshment trauma + how to develop self trust. Love

Couldn't agree more?

Ughh. Sounds like a super awful situation, it must have been hard to be around a guy like him. To me he even sounds like full out grandiose narccisst tbh. Ughh, scary people

Very sneakly sneak. They can be everywhere around us

Yeah, and or get's left/ abondend. That's why all narccissts gets abondend sooner or later. One girl I really liked was like like this in a matter of fact and she would always complain about people leaveing her. This is especially amplified if the other person is not assertive because than that person will be drawn to leave in order to regain a sense of separate self which only can happen if the unassertive person is by himself. Now I know why our relationship went to hell lmao.

Great share

My calves are super super tight and it got me wondering, does tightness in your muscles limit or inhibit conciousness work/ enlightenment work in any way?

@snowyowl Strong unflabby muscles lol. I can't even squat. It's becuase I walked on my tipie toes when I was a child. I've tried to fix it in the past with stretching but it didn't worked. @Dancer yeah I should really dedicate to fix it regardless

@Barbara google for the documentary, beyond the visable Agreed, klinth work is mindblowing. Thats a real life purpose right there!

Self compassion work, parts work, feeling the emotions, developing self trust and setting boundaries. It's all about learning to rely on yourself so that you can trust yourself to do what is best for you ( rely on yourself that you always take your best interest )

@Javfly33 That's my zone of genius right there - giving people direct deep insights about themselves. I am glad to help Also. You don't know who you are because you self sacrifice yourself for others. That's your core problem - you think you need to become something else to get what you want and need from other people ( alpha for example). Thus - you people please or in different words PLAY ROLES to get approval, love, acceptance and belonging from people who will " save you" ( neediness) Learning ( which includes daring) to assert who you are is your next step to resolve this problem. I wish you the best of luck!