SamC

What do you think your meeting with Cristy is for your spiritual development?

I have a really good relationship with my mother. She is amazing, very loving and understanding.

I would suggest coaching by healthy gamers. It would help you a lot and is fairly priced.

I sleep a lot, like easily 10 hours a night. Sometimes a wake up the first time at like 8 and feel pretty awake but then I just don´t go up and sleep for 2 more hours. Other times I sleep like 10 hours straight. How do I stop needing to sleep this much? I want to just wake up and be full of energy with like 6-8 hours of sleep, preferably less than that. what am I doing wrong? How do I change this? I am 20 years old.

Omg I love this so much Haha realize that the ego trick could be that you say it is an ego trip. I relate a lot. I realize that I for example am super stage yellow in my center of gravity yet super stage orange at the same time. It's almost like I am super unconcious yet super concious at the same time. I am in other words the most unconcious concious idiot XDXD I understand your confusion and frustration of not being able to peg yourself somewhere. You want to understand where you are at so that you can controll the world better, and therefor counterintuitively make a modell out of it not being a modell. It's very tricky. Just keep doing the work. You are so on the right track, you're doing great!

You two need to move on.

As the title

yeah! It's a very heavy task though because it means that both parties must be willing to observe their own patterns and therefor also as a consequence of that understand the other point of view and how they are biased, and be humble enough to be honest to oneself about it. Furthermore I belive it is important to turn this humbleness either outwards or inwards depending on our style of trying to hold onto our identity. Some people are super skeptical about if other people are right ( and belive they are right) while others are skeptical about if they themselves are right ( belive that everyone else is right) which basically is the same thing but different manifestations of it. So if we want to move past this, I think we need to become aware of where we tend to lean towards and either turn our skepticism towards our skepticism of other people or towards our skepticism about ourselves.

I honestly think that the way to heal It is counterintuitively to let it happen but let it happen consciously. We need more awarness of what is causing it/ the dynamic so that we more easily can observe ourselves when we do it and therefor also slowly heal. Awarness alone is curative.

@vizual Yeah true. What I am wondering however is if there are some studies or something that say that it's better to work shorter or longer blocks. Some talk a lot about pomadoro ( 25 min blocks) and how that is the best while others say that the best is to focus for 90 minutes instead. Doesn't it exist some sort research that suggests where one should lean towards?

@Gabith And here is where the counterintuitive principle comes in... You're not having problems with your masculine side.. you're having problems with your feminine side. I know this sounds like complete bullshit and I understand exactly how it sounds like but bare with me. The reason why you repell girls is not because you display feminine qualities... it's because you display toxic feminine qualities. What I mean by that is that you subcomunicate powerlessness, neediness and victimhood which furthermore subcomunicates that your masculine side ( See "Bully" on the picture) is criticizing, pushing and bullying your feminie side ( See "Victim" on the picture) That's why woman don't like neediness or when you put them on a pedestal. It signals that you right now don't have the capacity to take on and " own"/ provide containment for the girl because you don't even allow your own feminity to be owned. How the fuck are you going create a safe space for a girl to be in if you can't provide that for yourself first? I understand that you might feel like this is contradictory because of the fact that you see yourself as feminine and that you therefor are in touch with it your feminine side but trust me bro. That's not your femine side. That's your shadow femine side that is unintegretad and disowned... because guess what, I know you hate being feminine, and that's what is the problem. Don't take my words for what I am saying. Investigate it for yourself and see what you can come up with. Here are some good concepts to look up and learn more about. 1: Anima 2: Parts work. 3: Masculine containment

@LordFallWow man. That's so inspiring. One could say that I am where you once were. My story is basically that I've always struggled with low self esteem and suppressing my feminine side and therefor also struggled with girls. I am slowly but surely starting to trancend this now but I still have a lot of work ahead of me. Idk why man but it feels like you should help people with this somehow. ( this is my intuition talking). There is something there. Also, I know you're probably super busy but if you have 5 minutes to spare sometime I would love to pick your brain on this topic and how you where able to go beyond this. It would help me so so much on my journey in doing the same both for me and for others. Let me know what you think

@LordFall By observing what's happening within me. If you grasp that, you will understand what is happening in the outside world. It is the mind that is projecting upon reality - not the other way around. Mind sharing an example of this cycle in your own life? I am curious. (:

The question at it's core is, why did God create a world where woman suffer and men get to oppress woman. The answer to that is because suffering, disintegration and evil ultimately creates union and peace in the end. Suffering pushes us forward and forces us as a collective to integrate ourselves. It's an ingenious design. The same can be said regarding all other oppression and evil that mankind have created against itself. It exists so that we will move towards God - towards ourselves.

He is Yellow for sure

You will know when you're ready. Trust your intuition.

What's your life purpose?

@SLuxy I leave you with this. Notice how your solution is your problem and that you don't want to give up your solution because you belive you have a problem. Your solution is doubling down on the thing that creates the anxiety which only makes it worse. Here is where you trick yourself. You want a real tangible solution that actually works, not a mind game where you get advise like " be one with god" " love yourself" ect cause that's almost like a fuck you to you and your problem and I agree with that, that won't help you either. What I want you to realize howver is that you won't find the solution by trying something else to solve it because if you try that you just go in circles and become neurotic about that. Your core statement is - " I need to do X to be worthy and have the right to exsist". That's what you are running away from and try to fix because if you don't... guess what, you belive you will be worthless. This furthermore means that if you stop seeking a solution, that will be really painful, scary and the real cognitive behavioral therapy - which is why you don't want to do it because you will litterly die. Your core concept will die. What I am saying is in other words what you initially didn't want to hear, that you need to go about this disfunction by how you relate to your problem. This does not mean that you should just try to be one with the universe or notice that you are just a thought or whatever. Fuck that, that's not really that helpful because you're not there yet. Instead, do what you feel like you need to and want to do but be AWARE of it. I don't know if you watched Leo's video awarness is curative? if not I suggest you to give it a go. If you feel like you want to continue focusing on work? Do it but do it consciously where you are aware that you're doing it because you're afraid. Pair this with meditation and parts work, see Teal swans book "The anatomy of lonliness" for that and your " problem" will fall off by itself. I now that this wasn't necessarily the " solution " you wanted to hear but I hope that you can see how this, as opposed to trying to fix the problem will reach the problem at it's core In sum, your best bet is to raise your conciousness so that it goes beyond your current ego by meditation, parts work and practicing doing what is right for you in that moment regardless if you're driven by fear or not. I wish you the best of luck man! If you have any questions, let me know!

@SLuxyCool, thanks for sharing man. It sounds though to walk around with thoughts like this, I understand that you have been through a lot of suffering bro. There is one thing I am wondering if you could help me understand though. Why wouldn't you want to have a need to be excellent if being excellent is the only way for you to have the right to exsist?

@SLuxySo if you allow me to try to help you with gaining awareness of this dynamic even more. What does being excellent mean to you?

@SLuxy Oh I see how you interpeted it. You interpeted as me telling you that you shouldn't try to overcome the need to it. That was not my point. My apologies. My hope with the post was to make you contemplate your motivation to that need so you could realize the root solution. It's good that you're trying to overcome this need but realize that the need to overcome it is what is fueling your need for excellence. It's almost like this thought loop. " I need to be excellent to be good enough ------- oh no I shouldn't be neurotic about it, I should be excellent ------ oh no I have the need to be excellent, I shouldn't have that - I should be excellent. You're fighting against yourself and are trying to solve the problem of not being needy by being needy for a solution. This only fuels your problem. ( because it's the same problem) You need to learn to accept to be needy and integrate that part of yourself and then tada, your problem will fall of like that... But in order to do that you must go to the root and the root is that you feel like you have to be any other way then you are. That's why you want to be excellent, that's why you don't want to need to be excellent. It's the opposite side of the same coin. That's why I asked, what's wrong with needing to be excellent becuase if you crack that nut, you have your solution. Ta-da

Yeah, but notice how you create an attatchment to not having an attatchment to exellence. You want to overcome the need, but whats wrong with needing it? What does you needing excellence tell you about yourself? What does it create? Really contemplate these 3 questions. From what you have told us, it almost seems like you're running away from the same thing that you run away from when you chase excellence. What do you think about that? @SLuxy

Notice how the need to let go of the desire to be excellent is an attempt to be excellent. What's wrong with being excellent? Ask yourself that. The answer might surprise you.

It might be that your mind is more dynamic and that you should try to work with it instead of against it. This video changed my life. It made me realize that there are multiple roads to success and that one should choose an approach based on one's personality and personal strengths.. not based on how it is expected. Also, if you're learning something new and you're not super gifted in it, you may experience it to be more taxing and may not be able to do it for such a long time in the beginning. I for example couldn't study math for more than 30 min at a time in the beginning, but as I learned more I could practice longer periods becuase it becomes more effortless and you get in the flow. Lastly.. Meditation. It helps a lot.

@flyingguitarist I am an INFP actually! Have you done the big five factor test? I think it would give you a lot of insight. If you for example score high on disagreeblesness that in itself gives you a pretty good indicator that you probably are a thinker and not a feeler type. I would personally love to see your score on the big five to see how that relates to your top 10 values so if you have that and are willing to, feel free to share!