SamC

I think this approach of burning through karma needs to be accompanied with awarness. Awarness alone is curative - so fulfill your karmic desires - but do it CONSCIOUSLY.

Maybe it's you that is against yourself

@soos_mite_ah I think what your therapist is noticing is that you´re afraid of having these coping mechanisms because you believe they are a problem. My therapist said something similar to me in regards to my goals. I said that I was driven by fear, while he said I was driven by desire. I felt incredibly misunderstood and almost angry as to why he didn´t see that I was driven by fear. I later realized that the real mechanism of fear for me was the very act of wanting to avoid being driven by fear and that I tried to " let go of it".. but for what? because of fear. What has helped me is going towards what I want instead of trying to stop acting from fear. This has meant that I sometimes have let myself be driven by fear.. because It´s okay. Dare to trust in yourself. What do you want?

@Zeroguy Lol. You don't get it. Controlling people and needing people to be in a certain way backfires and creates a self fulfilling prophecy. I have nothing to do with this dynamic. If the girl is always like " where have you been?" " you don't really love me; you will leave me" " you think I am annoying" ----- it will become the reality. Lastly, your entire point of not letting be controlled is this whole mechanism. You don't want to get controlled - that's why you will avoid committing to these girls.. but her having this attachment is not something you can control. @Vzdoh If the girl is super attached she will "love" you so incredibly much and belive you will save her. She often tries to control who your friend group is, who you can hang out with or not and how much attention she should get. She can for example be extremly ubset if you forget to text her " in time" This has showed up in almost all of the girls that I have had a relationship with or have been close to have a relationship with. I attract broken super attached girls. I think there can be degrees to this.. but it's always repelling.. yet at the same time " toxic" attractive. It's a self destructive attraction becuase you feel so loved, but then at the same time so trapped. Side note: I don't know where this came from but your NEED of him being intimate with you makes him scared of being it with you.. so the more you try, the harder he will resist. Take what you want from this.

I've experienced that I am scared to commit because the girls become super attached to me ( reliet on me) and if it then don't work out for whatever reason there will be immense suffering for both. Her fear of me not committing to her becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because she tries to control me and then I end up not wanting to try at all, because I know that the consequences will be severe if I commit and then change my mind.

Maybe you are right This was awsome, Thanks a ton

Beating myself up for not being as spiritual as I want to be or in other words, accepting when my ego is taking over and being fine with it. That's really challenging.

I think this is a good sign that you should brake up with her.

He is a super interesting case study of how new age beliefs and maybe even paranormal abilities can make you incredibly self deceived. There might be an ounce of truth to what he is saying and it might even be as such that he has some " paranormal abilities " that has given him messages but I belive those are the very thing that was his downfall. This, because it made him trust himself to much because HE had access to ultimate truth.. except he never did.

Women are afraid of men... yet at the same time LOVE men. This is something I am still trying to wrap my head around, and while I do understand it - I want to understand it deeper. Preferably from the female perspective, but also very much from all the other perspectives as well. Here are some specific questions that highlight the essence of what I don´t yet understand. Thank you for your help! Note that these questions are only there to help assist a deep metaphysical inquiry about the meta dynamics of the female mind. 1: What exactly does a man provide for you? Why are men so " Awesome"? ( for women) 2: What does make a man a creep/ scary? ( what invokes fear in woman) 3: What is the most important thing a man can do to not make women feel afraid but safe? ( if you have to go down to one word, to the essence). Any other thoughts, explanations, or comments about this paradox are not only welcome - but highly appreciated. @Leo Gura Thoughts?

Wow 15, That's so young. I would have loved to discover this at that age. Leo's life purpose course is almost a must. It will help you a ton.

On one level, I am really conciousness for my age. I am spiral dynamics stage yellow, with shadow elements in both green and orange. These shadow elements seem to be really big though, because even though - I am calm and aware on one level, I am super unaware and scared on another. It's like I see a lot of stuff very clearly, and gravitate towards truth and understanding while still being really anxious. I have social anxiety, separation anxiety and anxiety in general over things that can go wrong, yet I am wise for my age and have a lot of wisdom within me that I don't know where it comes from. It's like I am pretty conscious but not in integrity with it. I realize stuff that others don't, yet I can still be super scared of stuff that " unconcious " spiral dynamic stage blue people don't care about... so in that sense, I am unconcious. It's a very interesting paradox. Something tells me this is due to that some people have a security wound which is tied to their world view while others like me have a " big ego wound" which makes one scared of not living up the very fixed identity towards others. Anyway, What is this? Any ideas or thoughts? Thanks @Leo Gura

Where would you peg yourself? @Gregory1 interesting. Thanks. Any ideas how to understand this better? ( how God realized you are)

@Gregory1 Hmm maybe you're right. Thanks! What would you say the difference with having a center of gravity of yellow and having aspects of yellows? How would the 2 look like? Interesting perspective! Thanks for the insight man. Why do you think that's easier? Thanks for reaching out man! Yeah, I can relate to that aswell eventhough my bullying experience is kind of left in the dark. My whole life is trying to figure out emotional belonging and connection... especially in regards to the femenine. I understand that it is tough to feel " alone/ separated from other people". See it as different hang ups in the ego. some have a vulnerable ego with a big need to protect it's world view because that's what hold the world together. Other people, don't care about that as much and instead care about being " X" In regards to oneself or other people. My friend has for example aspects of stage blue and hold his world view very steadily ( he is a chrisitian). Becuase of this tightly held world view he needs to fight all other perspectives because they are dangerous for him. I on the other hand don't give a fuck about if I am wrong. Like there is no anxiety there at all, it's like - oh okey cool and then I adjust. What's interesting however is that he don't care about what other people think at all and have a lot of more empathy for other people becuase his ego is " more incompassing and less rigid in that way". So in some ways, he is more " loving" and in other ways I am more loving.. That's where the question begun. When reading this again, it's almost as is the solution is the problem, maybe he is more rigid because it's his survival strategy and I am more flexible because I am not at my " final secure world view yet" Anyway. Yes I have been hurt, and would love to chat more. I'll PM you.@WonderSeeker

I am going our clubbing tomorrow and want to protect my ears. I don't want to damage my hearing. Any good products/ recommendations?

Buy her X if you want to but don't let her manipulate you to buy it. Also dont do it because you want something. See buying her a coffee as a fine gesture, WHEN you want to. It's not about do's or don'ts. It's about you doing what's authentic to you.

Yeah, but do you know what's weirder? Hearing a fucking ringing sound 24/7 eventhough it's quiet. That's really strange my friend!? Yeah - I plan on outgrowing this as fast as possible. Thanks for the tip! Thanks for the link. I'll experiement ?? Yeah, I'll keep that in my back pocket! That's hilarious ? Okey, cool - thanks for the tip! @Random witch can you hook me up? Any spare finges available? Oh hell no, the gates would flood open! I don't wanna drown the club.

I am very perfectionistic so before I tried to write down everything as I saw that it could be used for XYZ later. This leads to paralyze by analysis becuase I procrastinate reading and taking notes becuase the effort is so high due to me wanting it to be perfect. I know this is not the best way though. When I looked around some have said that it's best to take notes after you have read something and try to remember it and then look at the material again and take notes on the things you missed. How do you do it? @Leo Gura

@Surfingthewave Well obviosly I do but I am trying to heal. That's why I try to understand, because I want to heal and grow. It's my whole point. If you read my posts you will notice that aswell Trust me, I know. This is my whole work. Please let me grow my own way. I ask these questions because it's a part of my journey to understand and heal. It's not weird or strange that I beliive what I belive and it's not so simple to say that I don't have a point either. Woman are afraid of toxic masculinity/ shadow feminity in men, but if it's healthy masculinity then the fear may or may not be there, depending on the context. Besides this, woman often have a love hate relationship to their masculinity which gets projected outwards, just like a lot of men have shadow feminine aspects so my beliefs are understanable, yet at the same time gross generalizations. ( see the term animus posseion). I am trying to understand you ( the feminine), please try to understand me aswell. Eventhough it's based on fear - I am trying to connect to the femenine, I do my best. Please try to see that.

Yeah for sure Yes I do, I signal shadow feminity which implies toxic masculinity and feminine repression.

What is it then??

@Nahm Thanks man! No, I have not - or atleast not to the degree I want. I still experince the feminine running away from me, though I honestly am starting to consider if that is just a projection of fear aswell that creates a self fulfilling prophecy. I do feel like I am experiencing deeper and deeper intimacy and understanding with females in general though. It's not a full release, there are a lot of projections and fear still there, but it's a lot better than before. Okey I will. What so you mean bu that sad and I am not connecting to woman is not an emotion. I get that the not connecting to woman is a projection but isn't sadness my real feeling or is that also a projection? Also thanks for your inputs, they have helped me realize a lot today.?

@PepperBlossoms Lol no you where not. You're fine. I am not here to get sugarcoated, I want to grow. It feels like woman can't understand men ( me) and that they are afraid of men because they are afraid of me but maybe that is just becuase I signal something out. What I mean with that they are afraid of me is that they are running alway from me. It's not that what you're saying is wrong because I agree with it, it's that I talked about something else which is related to something besides context, but maybe there is no other thing, yet there Is but that thing is context sensitive. Maybe it's both the " truth" at the same time. The reason why I felt missunderstood was because I interpeted it as you ( the feminie) pushing away my efforts in trying to understand the feminine ( you) which makes my ego sad because it is what I am trying to avoid in the first place. Maybe woman are afraid of men" all the time" in certain contexts and that is the case becuase of biological wiring, which kind of is the love-fear paradox. I think toxic masculinity ( which includes repression of the feminie) scares every woman and that all woman atleast screen for and are cautious of men becuase they might be dangerous because XYZ. There are subtleties there though, that amounts to the fact that woman in fact are not afraid of men all the time if the masculinity is not dangerous to the feminine...yet if this is the case- I am not sure if attraction can be created because the femine desire strength and if it doesn't scare her on one level, it doesn't have the capacity to protect her so if it's a healthy masculinity, and she is attracted to her, she might be afraid of him ( on some subconscious) level but that doesn't mean that she is always afraid of men. Maybe? Idk. Or maybe not. Yes I do, because I feel like I am disconnected from woman, which is why I am trying to bridge the gap to feel connected to the feminity. Me being wrong informs me that I am still disconnected from the feminine, and that mainly becuase fear arises which is what I am trying to run away from.

Ahhhh I wanna fight back so badly XDXD. I feel like woman can't understand me and that what you wrote contradicts it. Ahhhh

Yes, but what is the difference between her experience and actual reality? All live in reality, yet it's different for all of us yet the same reality? Do you mean absolute reality? Hmmm. * I am going to observe my ego reaction against this and see what comes up* " But I am trying to, that's what I do - I feel so disconnected from woman and now I am trying to understand them, this makes me feel so missunderstood. This is the truth, woman are afraid of me"- ego. ( aha btw) woman are afraid of me! That's what I project. Okey, there obviously is a lot of fear here still. My action in trying to understand woman are pushing them away, which makes me scared because I don't know how to do it know - I thought I got it but now it feels like I am further then ever away with connecting to woman and it makes me sad. Thoughts on this? My ego hates you right now but I love you <<3 thanks @Nahm