meta_male

@SQAAD Reading your post, what stands out to me most is not hate, but hurt. You don’t hate women, you love them. Maybe too much, in a way that it stings when you can't see how to connect with them. And that pain is human. But maybe consider this: What if your suffering isn’t some proof that you’re done for but more of a sign that you’re close to a turning point? You’re clearly smart and are seeing things others don’t. But there’s also a story that you’re caught in...where more control and fun seem out of reach from you forever. What if that story isn’t true? 🤔 A year from now you could be in a completely different reality. Where connection isn’t a price women “get” and men have to "earn” but a natural part of being grounded in your own life. Not easy, but definitely possible. You’re not alone, bro. A lot of guys feel this way, just most don’t say it.

@UpperMaster Not gonna lie, I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve dated girls I wasn’t really into personality-wise. Mostly to catch up on experience, and sometimes just to get laid while I wasn’t always upfront about my intentions. I did grow from it. But thinking back, if I could do it over, I’d probably focus more on practicing honesty. That’s part of the dating experience too, and that kind of growth actually sticks and puts you in a position where you attract instead of chase. It’s not all black and white, though. You’ll have to develop a feel for what you're willing to put up with while still making it an enjoyable journey.

Very dumb reasoning. This is why she suffers.

Wise words.

@Judy2 Your needs are very real, even if the ways you’ve learned to express them haven’t felt healthy yet. It’s okay to still be figuring out how to meet those needs without self-harm. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. Just recognizing the need for change, like you’re doing now, is a huge step. Also, it's fine being weird. Life and people are weird in general. It's okay not to fit into the mold.

@Judy2 It’s less about who’s right and more about the dynamic that’s off when you're around certain people, like your parents. You have to go to great lengths to protect your emotional wellbeing around them, and that’s draining. Guilt is so deeply ingrained from how we’re raised, but it’s not helping you as an adult. It’s a manipulation tactic to force you to live according to other people’s expectations. A lot of those expectations are unspoken too, especially in family dynamics. You're doing well by honoring your emotional needs.

Post-modern? I thought that was just a code for making things complicated to sound deep 😝 Aligning layers of the self sounds like a sensible approach though.

@Schizophonia I said you getting a chance to be dominant excites you, monsieur. Big difference.

@Schizophonia You’re saying if someone’s self-concept leans toward submission it’s because of mental issues. But then you’re acting like dominance excites you, which suggests it’s not second nature. Maybe that’s the same issue you’re pointing to in others?

@Schizophonia I see. Sounds cringey to me. If that’s your idea of masculine and exciting you’re definitely not pushing the boundaries enough.

From dom phantasies to submission after a couple roasts, that's range brother.

@Clarence This was absolutely fascinating to read. Some of what you said kinda challenged the way I usually think about identity, in a good way. Respect man.

This actually sounds like a very grounded and healthy mindset you have. Just living a good, steady life is way underrated anyway. All the best with everything ahead, hope the move goes well!

@Av2521 I’d say for dating, you don’t need to become some pickup artist or anything like that. Just start getting used to talking to women in everyday situations, shops, cafés, events or whatever. Not to get numbers or anything, just to get comfortable with real life interactions. If that kind of thing works here in Switzerland, I’m sure it works in Germany too. And even though you’re not chasing some life purpose anymore, having something you enjoy doing, like a hobby or project you can dive into, makes a lot of other things easier. You meet people more naturally that way and it gives your days a bit more momentum too. So I wouldn't completely close the door on the passion thing, although I can understand you've made it this far without one which is completely valid.

@Princess Arabia Probably ended up in another country. This bro never heard of planes.

Happens to the best. In the beginning it's all too much, traffic, rules, buttons, speed, vehicle operation etc. Relax and keep driving 👍

@Raze Correct.

I don’t keep track of the percentage. It should be equal more or less and feel like we’re both investing without keeping count. An example of too much on her part: she cancels plans with her friends or family just to meet up with me. It feels good in the moment, but honestly it doesn’t sit right. Turns out that kind of dynamic never feels balanced.

One tip that helps is to look where you want to go. Your body will kind of 'connect' with the car and naturally help with steering. In curves, looking at the lane lines helps too (avoid looking at the one between you and oncoming traffic when going right). If you wanna become a good driver try to actually enjoy driving, you can fake this with smiling – works wonders.

@hyruga Your argument really overlooks how fragile childhood is. Kids don't have the coping mechanisms adults do, they don't have the language to express what's happening to them. You're basically saying that adults are the ones to experience real trauma, not kids. It's not about how big or visible an event is, it's about how overwhelming it feels to the person experiencing it. Do only adults lose a family member? Are there no kids in war zones? Only adults experience abuse? You can imagine how much bigger an impact such events have on children. The mind is good at hiding it from them and all efforts to heal trauma are in vain if not looked at the root of where those immense emotions formed. Whether an event is forgotten or not doesn't matter. Trauma is stored in the body, it's not just a memory.

@Emerald You made a lot of great points here. Personally, I’ve noticed that when a woman invests too much in me right off the bat, it actually makes me lose attraction. I end up assuming she’s not thinking clearly, because there's no way to truly know someone that well so early on. Genuine connection takes time. Honestly, I’m tired of running into women who want to lock things down immediately just because their emotions spike. It feels like they’re chasing the idea of a relationship more than actually getting to know me. And that's when it turns into something casual.

@Caoimhin I did give it enough shots. I prayed, I surrendered, I studied and I was open. But what I found didn’t lead me back to Christianity, it led me into something less defined but more alive. The idea that truth can only be found in one tradition is too narrow for me. I get that certainty brings comfort, but for me what works best is to man up and face the unknown. Btw, you remind me of Athelstan from Vikings

Yamaha T700. This is my version of the perfect product. It's basically a bicycle with an engine. It's more on the pricey side. But this bike isn’t just a toy, it’s a tool for life. Here’s what it brings to the table: You're introverted? Put on your gear, tune out the world, and ride out like a post-apocalyptic monk. You don’t ride it to be seen, you ride it to disappear. You're in an outgoing mood? Even better. You’ve got a worldwide community, pretty much anywhere you pull up. Want to attract girls? Show up to a date on this thing, drop your gear and let her see you at your worst and smelliest. This is raw “this is me” energy. Learn to deal with the remaining 99% of people you will attract, which are old men. Depressed? You won’t be after a session with this machine. It rips you out of your head and throws you into the now. The moment you turn the key, your brain isn’t in charge anymore. The ride demands real presence and laser-sharp focus. Don’t feel like going to the gym? Hop on and handle this 200kg bike. You gotta earn your right to go somewhere. Looking for raw truth and clarity? This bike puts reality in your face. Make a mistake and you won’t doubt it – you’ll feel it. Craving adventure? Throw in a tent and sleeping bag. This thing doesn't just to take you from A to B – it gives you stories. Not everything perfect comes in small boxes. This product will demand you at your best, and pull you out of your worst. Good bang for buck, can recommend 👍

@Emotionalmosquito I get you, I’ve been there myself. This felt more like a dam breaking than just a moment of bad judgment. But if you want to be taken seriously, the way you deliver the message matters most. You've probably used enough words over the years and by how you describe them they’ll focus more on the outburst than your pain behind it. There are better ways to get your message across though...they might not hit hard in the moment, but have a long lasting impact.