meta_male

More about leadership. Never have I attracted a woman without taking the lead.

Went to the optometrist to get contacts today and practised putting them in for 45 mins no success, getting them out myself after he got them in was fine. Tried another several times at home but still unsuccessful. Is there a trick when you have a strong reflex?

Finally getting the hang of it. It actually is cake when my mind stops fighting it

@Yimpa Fair enough. This whole learning process is such a pain in the ass, how many hours does one have to spend putting them in and taking them out? I'd rather get a second circumcision.

@Leo Gura Thanks, I had a big phobia feeling my eye, let alone putting something in it. It gets easier, though it took me two hours today 😅 looking straight ahead helps! Do you wear them everyday? Any downsides besides the cost?

@Schizophonia A lot better since thanks, the past three weeks was just partying, making friends and dating. I keep stepping on them.

Well, holy shit I'm seeing 8K.

I've never done it but now that I'm thinking about it it's weird to wanna go out and stay in cause you're friends don't go. You really want to spray someone ay?

It's not for everyone. Being human is the connection, allow yourself to be human. Or isolate yourself from people and see where that will take you...

@Human Mint I don't plan on cutting it out of my life completely, nothing comes close to it for me. But it sure does have its downsides, I definitely underestimated its effects.

@Etherial Cat I have only one big interest, vehicles and driving. I'm a nerd like that, it hasn't changed my whole life so other activities won't cut it for me (pretty much tried them all out). Also I'm sick of meeting new people over and over, my motivation left me. I gotta admit I don't even have any interest in people anymore, same old record, no real wisdom, just stupidity. Makes it hard to create friendships 😅 just the loneliness stays. @Schizophonia I'm curious, how does it seem that way? And yeah I'll admit I still have no clue how to devote my life to that one thing.

What you mean by that?

@Michael569 Hey man. Nowhere near as bad as it used to be some weeks ago. I'm back at work, reduced weed use, had a short fling with this girl, worked on my mechanics skills, went to a racetrack, catching up on all the chores I slacked on the past years, got my finances in check as much as possible, gone out with friends and work mates here and there. But still the loneliness is killing me, it's been eight years, no real success in relationships or social life, I spend most weekends alone. The lack of success is really starting to take a toll on my motivation to make new friends or meet girls, so currently I'm doing not so great, no clue how to get myself into a higher energy mood.

@Atb210201 Thank you sir 🙏

Hi everyone. Little update: I'm feeling a bit better, being off work was definitely overdue. I also saw a psychiatrist today, these pieces of shit really are ridiculous, nothing to be gained or learned there, I'm getting out of this therapy asap and sticking to IFS.

Thank you every single one of you for your insights and especially to those offering to talk, I was really moved by all your posts 🙏 I'm now off work due to burnout and depression, at least two weeks, maybe longer. Finances are still a big problem but at least I got the time to plan the next steps right now. Also, my doctor gave me meds and is trying to find a licensed therapist for me but it will take a while cause they got long waiting lists. For now I got my IFS practitioner and a couple friends to talk. It really feels like I'm at level -1000, it's hard to just get to level 0, meditation flies out the window when you're at the mercy of fear @NoSelfSelf.

@Ulax No, I'll look it up, thanks bro. @Princess Arabia I'm not sure I understand what you mean, can you try to rephrase?

I keep exhausting all options available, money becomes a big problem now. I've been doing IFS therapy for a year. I always end up in situations I gotta get myself out again. I was raised in a cult similar to JW, 7 years ago I got out, always gotta go against everyone around me, nobody can relate. Now found out I have Asperger's, nobody gets that either. I'm building social circles, they fall apart. I'm building relationships, they fall apart and I end up a mess, then come months of building myself up again. Nobody seems to go through crises in real life, I'm always the odd one out. I can't relate to anyone. I am working my ass off to be social and I am, but what for? I can't relate to anyone, I've been in so many different social settings and groups, I'm open minded af but it's like I'm born on the wrong planet. Still, I keep being social, it's just not doing anything for me it seems. Also people around me get depressed when I start being open to them, they don't wanna hear it. When I think back the past ten years I've been happy 2-3 times for a max. of two weeks, the rest is just depression always looming in the background. Thanks man but it's like I can't show myself to the world rn, my confidence left me once again. I keep building it up then depression sneaks back in, always one level worse than before. My looks aren't the problem really. Yeah I'm trying to get to see one. I spent all fucking morning just to get an appointment at my doctor's. It's like my life is on advanced mode whatever I'm trying to achieve, even if it's just getting something as small as an appointment, it's so not worth it.

While I've had ups and downs on my way to healing I've now reached a point where I all hope has left me. I can't see myself ever living a healthy life. I want to tear down the cult my fucking parents raised me in. I want to murder their leaders. I want to emotionally torture my parents. I let myself be suppressed by these fuckers from 8-24. I've kept in positive and negative emotions all my life, it feels like too much to bear. For a week now I'm having panic attacks and seizures, the other day I almost crashed the car. I'm feeling rage inside. I can't see any healthy and legal way to let this shit out.

I'm really not sure 'll get through this one. It's too much to take, more like constant downward battle. Is it normal to only ever enjoy like a couple days a year, the rest is just a struggle that's getting worse every day. I also just found out I probably have Asperger's, final nail in the coffin. I don't know what I want or need except for emotional connection with someone, someone who fucking understands. But I get I'm not safe and nobody wants that. There's literally nothing worth living for, I don't know if I'm posting again. Love you guys.

@StarStruck Totally agree. Just be aware who you're going down with.

1) Just get any drink you want. If you don't care about coming off stingy and you want water then so be it, have water. 2) If getting drinks and getting drunk isn't possible for you (and therefore not something that's fun) think about what else is there on a night out that's a fun thing to do with her after dancing, e.g. a walk around the city.

@Leo Gura It'd be unwise for you not to say so

@StarStruck And stop following other men for starters lol.

They're just teasing. You care too much to be a bad boy. Don't worry about the content that comes out of girl's mouths.