meta_male

@andyurb I wouldn't expect her to become interested in those topics, most people are happy living a basic life and won't see the point in becoming a better version of themselves. But you should take some time to think about whether or not you're okay being with someone who is bored of your interests. You will most likely not be able to have a deep emotional connection and won't get her support when it comes to facing the challenges in this area.

@Leo Gura @BipolarGrowth @VeganAwake Thank you for your time, this is very helpful already! Yeah, I guess there's no rush. I'll try to loosen up a little

@Preety_India btw, I grew up in a Christian cult and lost all friends as I left. I struggled with similar issues you do now, that's why I kept coming back to your post. Just trying to help out someone in need as I know what it feels like.

@Preety_India alright. Didn't mean to offend you, though I can see it can seem that way. I wish you all the best.

At least take responsibility for not expressing yourself in a way we understand. Everything is pointing towards you not seeing that you're part of the problem. You'll end up being bitter and go around looking for reasons and confirmations from other people as to why they are the problem. Your posts suggest that you're pushing people away. Now it's up to you to at least consider thatthis a possibility

The same that "clouds". Though I struggle to see what and where they are, and whether they actually appear or not.

Very helpful, thank you!

It will be harder for you to quench that passion for a meaningful friendship than being open to the possibility that you can enjoy interacting with those "illusions".

Let's say you decided it's not worth it, what would be your alternative?

I suspect you come off as needy to your friends. Would you be open to that possibility? You gotta pay attention to the small details if you want to attract an introvert. Like having the courage to wait for someone to reply without posting twice in a row. This tells me way more about your personality than all the words in your post. If you do that with your friends you will push them away. What activities do you see yourself and your future friend(s) get involved in together?

I used to do the same. Eventually, you'll end up suffering for it.

Yes you should! You guys aren't even contemplating the replies you get. It's like you don't even realise you're reading them.

@machiavelli Anyone can confirm you're right...or wrong. Someone is going to agree with you and yet another person will say you're confused. Who are you going to believe in the end? Let me ask you this: when did you realise you like icecream (assuming you do)? Did you go on the icecream forum asking people whether they can confirm the way you describe its taste is correct?

As a mod you're posting crap like this in a cult thread? Love the irony

@machiavelli I understand you're probably going through some existential crisis and your thoughts are telling you to keep asking more questions, becoming more and more bitter towards Leo, thinking he's owing you an explanation. "If only I'd seen Leo's video, what a shame I missed out! All my questions would have been answered if only I figured this solipsism shit out." The key for you here is to drop this subject and finally end this cycle of thoughts because they will clearly lead you nowhere. Can't you see that by now? If I were you I'd start embracing not knowing and ask myself who or what I am.

@machiavelli Why rely on Leo or a video? I wouldn't get too attached to people giving you answers. If you needed to see it you would have seen it

@machiavelli There is a video on his blog explaining why he took it down...

@Endangered-EGO Hi fellow European. I can only imagine how you're feeling... been through something very similar. Give yourself the permission to not care about whether or not you're an addict. Why do you want to end your suffering? Embrace it, there's nothing wrong with it. Have enough patience and see what happens.

@Stovo I've had a similar experience looking at a close friend when it was dark outside. I looked at him as he was talking to me and instead of his eyes I saw large shadows. Nothing changed but I was unaware that his appearance constantly changed and in that moment it looked like a creature out of a horror movie. It didn't match the image I had of him. That's what scares the hell out of you too. Keep looking and you'll see how badass it gets. If you don't look away you'll understand that what you think you should see is just concept and what you actually see is what's real. You just can't accept the realness of it until you keep looking. You post on the forum to find out what that was, when really you will find out for yourself if you don't close your eyes ? What's right there is what's real.

I think I might be going through a dark night of the soul. I understand it's just a concept but it's the closest I can describe the state of mind I've been in for the past year and a half. Would you recommend letting it do its thing or getting the help of a spiritual coach? If so, can anybody recommend someone from Switzerland? Appreciate your help!

When you say appearance, do you mean consciousness?

@RedLine Cheers, I'll check them out! @Gabith Originally, a poem by St. John of the Cross. It describes a spiritual crisis, which seems to be a transformative, but also dark phase during one's journey. @Goldzilla Thanks for your advice. So, how long have you felt like this? @catcat69123 What is this strong attachment you still have, if I may ask? What makes it impossible for you to see the love?

In my mind I compare physical death to death in the dream world. I've died many times in my dreams, got shot, chopped up, fell down cliffs etc. Each time the movie continued inside this waking state or in another dream. Is it possible to know what's shown when this body dies? Will I wake up in another reality? In the same waking state but in a different timeline? Would I ever remember having been here or coming back and visiting my loved ones? It doesn't seem to work for the dream world. Or does it? What are your thoughts on this?

@nuwu What do you mean?

Reading this, somehow it dawns on me that the me I think I am might no even be there ?