meta_male

@SQAAD Reading your post, what stands out to me most is not hate, but hurt. You don’t hate women, you love them. Maybe too much, in a way that it stings when you can't see how to connect with them. And that pain is human. But maybe consider this: What if your suffering isn’t some proof that you’re done for but more of a sign that you’re close to a turning point? You’re clearly smart and are seeing things others don’t. But there’s also a story that you’re caught in...where more control and fun seem out of reach from you forever. What if that story isn’t true? 🤔 A year from now you could be in a completely different reality. Where connection isn’t a price women “get” and men have to "earn” but a natural part of being grounded in your own life. Not easy, but definitely possible. You’re not alone, bro. A lot of guys feel this way, just most don’t say it.

@UpperMaster Not gonna lie, I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve dated girls I wasn’t really into personality-wise. Mostly to catch up on experience, and sometimes just to get laid while I wasn’t always upfront about my intentions. I did grow from it. But thinking back, if I could do it over, I’d probably focus more on practicing honesty. That’s part of the dating experience too, and that kind of growth actually sticks and puts you in a position where you attract instead of chase. It’s not all black and white, though. You’ll have to develop a feel for what you're willing to put up with while still making it an enjoyable journey.

Very dumb reasoning. This is why she suffers.

Wise words.

@Judy2 Your needs are very real, even if the ways you’ve learned to express them haven’t felt healthy yet. It’s okay to still be figuring out how to meet those needs without self-harm. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. Just recognizing the need for change, like you’re doing now, is a huge step. Also, it's fine being weird. Life and people are weird in general. It's okay not to fit into the mold.

@Judy2 It’s less about who’s right and more about the dynamic that’s off when you're around certain people, like your parents. You have to go to great lengths to protect your emotional wellbeing around them, and that’s draining. Guilt is so deeply ingrained from how we’re raised, but it’s not helping you as an adult. It’s a manipulation tactic to force you to live according to other people’s expectations. A lot of those expectations are unspoken too, especially in family dynamics. You're doing well by honoring your emotional needs.

Post-modern? I thought that was just a code for making things complicated to sound deep 😝 Aligning layers of the self sounds like a sensible approach though.

@Schizophonia I said you getting a chance to be dominant excites you, monsieur. Big difference.

@Schizophonia You’re saying if someone’s self-concept leans toward submission it’s because of mental issues. But then you’re acting like dominance excites you, which suggests it’s not second nature. Maybe that’s the same issue you’re pointing to in others?

@Schizophonia I see. Sounds cringey to me. If that’s your idea of masculine and exciting you’re definitely not pushing the boundaries enough.

From dom phantasies to submission after a couple roasts, that's range brother.

@Clarence This was absolutely fascinating to read. Some of what you said kinda challenged the way I usually think about identity, in a good way. Respect man.

This actually sounds like a very grounded and healthy mindset you have. Just living a good, steady life is way underrated anyway. All the best with everything ahead, hope the move goes well!

@Av2521 I’d say for dating, you don’t need to become some pickup artist or anything like that. Just start getting used to talking to women in everyday situations, shops, cafés, events or whatever. Not to get numbers or anything, just to get comfortable with real life interactions. If that kind of thing works here in Switzerland, I’m sure it works in Germany too. And even though you’re not chasing some life purpose anymore, having something you enjoy doing, like a hobby or project you can dive into, makes a lot of other things easier. You meet people more naturally that way and it gives your days a bit more momentum too. So I wouldn't completely close the door on the passion thing, although I can understand you've made it this far without one which is completely valid.

@Princess Arabia Probably ended up in another country. This bro never heard of planes.