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@egoeimai, @Gesundheit, @Mu_, @Thought Art, @hyruga, @K Ghoul - Thank you so much for your answers. You have been very kind and thoughtful with your insights. I really appreciate it. Tsuki, thank you for this perspective. Yes, I really do fear losing the people I love - that is something I am still trying to comprehend. What do you think - can you love someone a lot, and still be detached? Is it humanly possible? It sounds great in theory, but the practice is difficult - human emotions are pretty complex. The shame part is interesting. Could you please elaborate a little more on that? Why'd you use that particular word, and why does this event have its roots there? Look forward to your answer. Thank you for raising this point, Khr. However, I'd like to tell you that this is not the case here. As someone who has been very hurt before and considers themselves a pretty sensitive person - I take conscious effort not to hurt people. Do I feel angry sometimes? Yes. Do I usually act upon it? I try my best not to. To become "not that kind of a person" has taken a lot of heartbreak, learning, understanding and personal growth, so this is not something I go around using in a loose manner. Thank you for the video, Megan.

Hey Jevin, I would recommend travel - go out, meet different cultures, see the beauty of this world, converse with people, eat their cuisines - you can work at local NGOs here - you can choose any area you’re most passionate about. It is not as expensive as people make it out to be - plus, you can earn a really good amount, too. If you see that there are certain changes you wish to bring about, use your innovative methods to help them - you can be a lot of things here - entrepreneur, social worker, educator, and can fill so many roles at once. Give others the pleasure of your company - this is more valuable than any other tangible thing. Create beautiful memories, with them and for yourself. But most importantly, remember to be happy. Be that wanderer that you were always supposed to be. Document it, if you can. Believe me, it can be life changing - you never know how many lives you will have a positive impact on. Christopher McCandless has given me such hope by documenting his life, through his experience. He changed my life, and I am so grateful that Jon Krakauer published this book - this has been one of the most defining experiences of my life. Live your life in a true sense, experience this oneness and break these barriers of the other, and without you even knowing it, your life will inspire so many. All my love and best wishes to you. Take care, friend and fellow wanderer.

@Eldra @Osaid Thank you for your answers. @lmfao Thank you! I shall definitely watch the video. @Mu_ I’ll give a little more context here as to why this thing has been difficult for me. The other person in question here is my mother. We are all getting old, and so is she - who knows what’s going to happen to whom? After having understood the fragile nature of this human existence, it scares me to think that we can lose someone and not even have the chance to tell how much we love them. I can’t begin to imagine that I hurt her to the extent that she started crying. What if, the next day, I woke up to something terrible? How could I live with that? How could that be my last memory? She has been understanding for the most part (except for the generation gap) - and where I am today is because of her - I am thankful for that. So in this particular situation, it feels like I was ungrateful to her, and that I could have handled the situation a bit better. She is genuinely attached to her children; we give her immense hope and can also be the point of immense hurt - we hold that power in her life. I know what she did was hurtful, albeit unintentionally - but she’s mom, you know? Someone I can very much, literally, take a bullet in the chest for, right now.

Some thoughts: - You may find social engagements stimulating, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but beware of making this a constant excuse. It’s good to be around people, but that does not mean that you should not find your own company worthwhile or motivating enough. - What do you do with your social media? Your social media algorithms are a great way to understand yourself better, and you could do the necessary shadow work in that regard. What is it about social media that makes you feel lethargic in your other pursuits? - Feels like all this media usage is a form of escapism - understand why you do it? - To build productivity, here’s a simple principle : To get better at X, do X more.

Interesting way to put it. On killer whales - “Seals and other marine animals have very sharp claws and teeth, so killer whales are at risk of suffering a severe injury when hunting these prey. Therefore, the safest course of action is for the killer whales to debilitate their prey before getting anywhere near them. To do this they use a combination of rams, often head-on, and slapping the prey with their flukes, or tail fins. This can go on for 30 minutes or more, until the seal or sea lion is too injured to fight back or potentially already dead, The killer whales also may kick up the seals to loosen the animals' skin, which they don't eat, says Ingrid Visser of the Orca Research Trust in New Zealand.” On chimpanzees - This was intriguing, to be honest - I was suspecting that they do this due to human interference in their surroundings, but no, apparently - this is an evolutionary reproductive tactic. Funny enough, considering how similar we are to them. On humans: Answering your question here: Humans can shape and alter their behaviours like no other animal. These ‘animals’ do not create ‘new’ problems and the subsequent domino effects; their violence is just restricted to their survival - local territory, reproduction, and they seldom interfere in other matters outside this domain. They do not have ostentatious means to an end - unlike humans whose greed has surpassed mere bodily survival. The chimps do not care about the oil on another continent, much less the exploitation that comes with such ‘strategic’ exploration. Also, about using them as proxies - who else do we look at, then? Who do we emulate? It’s all about existence, right? If majority of the beings in existence do not behave in such a way, wouldn’t such destructive human behaviour (bombs, etc.) amount to something abnormal? Example: If humans go extinct, I do not think that these animals, as they are now, would bring themselves and other beings collectively to an end, through manipulative means. Humans, however, could be one of the reasons for their own extinction - through gruesome methods. Also, about the word ‘anthropomorphism’ - it’s like treating these animals as something completely outside our sphere of existence; I do not think so. We are different just in our experience and not existence - so it is very much plausible that we place them on a similar platform - for death is the eventual common, equalising factor amongst all. Let’s use a Venn diagram here : The overlap / commonality / intersection is our shared existence, and the parts that do not overlap are our differing experiences and all of it is suspended in an infinity.

Yes, I believe so. Even animals have codes; they do not mindlessly invade territories or indulge in unnecessary torture for the sake of pleasure, etc. - that is to say that their survival is not greed-based. Humans, on the other hand, are the only species capable of destroying its own kind and others - and if they utilize these methods of destruction, it’s going to be disastrous — for everyone. Hence, yes - if we wish to ‘experience’ this in the human form, it is best we take certain mindful efforts actively, and also promote similar participation.

Of course, God enjoys everything; however, I do think we need to be mindful of our boundaries as a species. For example : Participating in the act of deforestation may provide some benefits - but that would be transient - and the happiness derived from it would be short-lived. It’s all interconnected- our happiness depends on a myriad of other things - it’s like a ladder - we can reach the top only if all the steps are in place; or else, we are bound to lose our balance and fall. Our lives are going to fall into the clutches of adversity if our survival needs aren’t met or are in danger- it’s very difficult for a population to maintain sanity if they are in the throes of intense despair. So somewhere, to walk the path of spiritual development, survival-based needs to be taken care of, too. Individual makes the collective, so it is in our collective best interest to help strike this balance, with personal efforts - and in my opinion, one doesn’t need to be very high up the spiritual ladder to do this. Hope this helps.

Haha, except for the spontaneous one (not too much, either), I dislike all these qualities that you mentioned. All these qualities involve men who talk too much, and I do not, personally, like such men as romantic partners. Have you seen a really secure man? He doesn’t need all of this. It’s people who are trying to be something they are not, who try to be arrogant, edgy, etc. These people deliberately want others to perceive them in a certain light, so that they have an upper-hand over others and a situation. Do such people really have control over a situation or are they just clinging onto whatever little rope there is giving them false hope that they are in control? Look, MrBON, being arrogant and the like will just add up to your insecurities. I have had male friends who were known to be such ‘arrogant’ pricks, and when they opened up to me, I could see that they are lonely inside, and want a true relationship. They maintained this image of theirs at a cost — the cost of personal well-being. Remember this - A secure man just is. He doesn’t try. Of course, he is a well-rounded man, with a lot of great qualities, but these are not forced. To be honest, you got to be passionate about something - and let that passion fuel your confidence. Let it come naturally to you. You are on a self actualization forum - come on, you mustn’t choose to be like the crowd out there, right? I’ll mention this again, just in case it escaped your attention: 8 billion people in the world and you’re telling me all are the same? NO! Best,

+1 Please watch the Planet Earth ( I and II ) series. It’s fascinating. @Nyseto

Thank you for the explanation. Look, MrBON, you do seem to have a good understanding of what it takes to be a great guy, so what is stopping you from believing that you are at the top of your game, if you do possess these qualities? The guy I was talking about does fit into your category of a great guy; also, about the other traits you deemed ‘shallow’ - his knowledge / IQ works for him because that is going to help him pursue his life goal; he’s charismatic (EQ) because he did possess most of the qualities you mentioned above - he was a very respectful guy, too; he was aloof, albeit the clout - that was strange - and it was not the fake kind of aloof, he just preferred his own company over that of others. He was a good mix of good IQ and EQ, also he was super confident in his skin. I gave you the example of this guy because, in normal circumstances, if you were walking on the street next to him, you would never imagine that someone like him could be at the top of his game, just like the other 6’2 jock with a Lamborghini. I am telling you that all this is subjective - not black and white. There are going to be many girls who’ll be attracted to a guy that has the personality traits that you mentioned - there’s no scarcity, buddy - remember that. 8 billion people in the world, and you’re telling me all are the same? No. Nonethless, to want something special, you got to be special. And special is highly subjective. Get to know what your special is. Also, I recommend you stop judging people - be open minded before jumping to conclusions, be wary of defining something way too soon before getting a comprehensive understanding, and stop forcibly pushing people into categories. I wish you the best of luck. Hope you find your answers!

What is the definition of a great guy? Educate me.

1) Move out 2) Requires a re-assessment of your boundaries.

I agree. A small story: There was this guy at my university - was my classmate - was not at all conventional looking and was about 5’7-ish, but, he was super intelligent and witty, was in the internationally acclaimed debating circles, so he had a way with words, and basically had great persuasive abilities. Believe me when I tell you that mostly all the girls at my university had a massive crush on him, and many wanted to be acquainted with him - plus, he was the aloof kind, and that added to the mystery. You have no idea about the kind of clout he had. So yeah, personality first, mate. @MrBON

A paper journal for the emotional stuff. An electronic journal for the other practical stuff.

I’m going to get flak for this, still, here’s my opinion: In terms of survival value: Money is not everything, it is the only thing. Everything you have on right now, and look around - clothes, food, house, electricity, transport facilities- is all some kind of value provision with money as the medium of exchange, mostly. Think about this — what do you have on and around you that has not been bought by money? It’s impossible to survive without money, so yeah, money is pretty important. Now, the question regarding how much one needs is highly subjective - it depends on your personal aspirations. Some may seek a highly luxurious life, while some may opt for a more frugal living. With respect to girls, again, it varies - the context changes with each change in a variable - and there are a plethora of variables involved in the making of a romantic relationship. If I can put it like this - possession of money is equivalent to the survival of the fittest principle, nowadays - and people usually choose to associate with those who ensure their highest chances of survival. The fiat money system is bigger than us, and we cannot reject it. You can, however, not be crazy attached to it, and play it like the game that it is. Best,

@Value "Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard"

Had so much fun with this. @Someone here . Why is everything together? What is togetherness? Your concept and definition of togetherness is limited. Together and not together are in this ‘together’. Why does the floor underneath stand? According to whom? To your human senses, maybe. To the single-celled organisms in the depths of the ‘Earth’, it floats. 3) Why doesn’t the universe fly apart right now? Why are you so certain that it isn’t flying apart right now? In what manner should it ‘fly apart’ for it come under your definition of ‘flying apart’? 4) What makes everything ‘work’? Nothing works like you do. Get it? 5) Rules of physics? The exist because you want them to exist. They will exist to the extent you want it to. They will work on the rules you decide. 6) What am I a hundred percent certain of? That, to use a hundred percent as a means to be certain of something is a construct. 7) God deciding to flip the channel. I have decided to flip the channel. I know. Why are you treating God as a separate entity? Also, what makes a channel ‘flipped’? The flipping is the constant, and vice-versa. Dude, notice it, you are flipping right now. 8) Dreaming and awake I am dreaming, awake, sleeping, not existing, existing and being and not-being and everything and nothing in-between. 9) Where is all this happening? ‘There’ is ‘no-where’ in an infinity. 10) Explain the present moment? The explanation is the present moment. 11) Earth flat or round? Example : I see your profile picture right now - you fall into my definition of a human, with two eyes, a nose and great hair. I think you are using some gadget to do this right now. I am sure you need some sort of electricity. Your form is what you want it to be. I want you to be a human, so you are. The Earth is flat, if flat is round, and the Earth is round, if the round is flat. It’s all imaginary - and you have given imaginary form. You just created the notion that everything is uncertain. You don’t wish for it to be certain. You are certain that you are uncertain. You are uncertain that you are certain. Is infinity uncertain because you choose to not make sense of it? Would infinity be certain if you suddenly decide to ‘play along’ with yourself, to make ‘sense’ of it, haha? What is ‘making sense’ of it mean? Is it sense-worthy? I am sure that you are certainly playing a joke on me right now.

What is the brain capable of? To my knowledge, the brain is a part of the whole we call mind. So, we could call brain as the human expression of the mind. Can we realise the infinite, ultimate capacity of the mind through the brain, albeit the human limits? Can one ‘train’ it to have a permanently meta perspective? Can we become the infinite mind in this human existence at all?

@Jonty @How to be wise @No Self Thank you for your answers. . I understand the imaginary aspect of this, but my question is : We have a nervous system, that consists of the brain, which is the principal organ of the body - where sensations, both internal and external are processed and that determines the existence of the person. The nervous system is a complex network of sensory cells, that employs many chemical messengers to make sense of this highly complex system of smell, hearing, vision, etc. Our existence is a result of our relationship with the brain, and its extraordinarily complex electrochemical processes - capable of receiving thousands of signals per second; a small example: our vocal cords that produce sound are modified by the lips and the tongue to create speech are controlled by the brain - if it were not for this, we wouldn’t even be able to talk, or do any other thing, for that matter. It’s due to the brain that we can do all the calculating, thinking, dreaming, communication, expressing, memory, emotions such as happiness, annoyance through the limbic system, etc. So, to what extent can we ‘train’ this extraordinary entity, that while being imaginary, is very real — to achieve high states of consciousness permanently? It is impossible to ‘experience’ reality / imagination / consciousness / feeling (whatever we call it) without the brain, in this human form. Can we alter the synapses and our neuronal networks, and if yes, what is the highest capacity? How can we do it? What are the limits? While going through daily life, to what extent can we be totally meta (also, what is the ultimate meta that a human can experience) - and how can this state be achieved? Then, can we be the God-head in this human form - and does this require highest levels of brain functioning or brain death? We are here to ‘experience’ this, right? What is the epitome of the utility of the brain? @Leo Gura Help, maybe? Thank you

@ivankiss Love this.

Could you explain this further? . Is there something like an ultimate meta, and if yes, can we reach it in this human life? And how can our brain achieve that?

Yes. There’s always a story. What makes a person narcissistic in the first place? I choose to disagree that some people are just ‘born evil’ and are ‘not capable’ of love - a lot of factors play into the becoming of a person. I choose to believe that they do not ‘lack’ love, but that they do not have proper understanding of how true, God’s love works. Of course, everyone is a little bit narcissistic, but this general narcissism is not the one in question here. Narcissists usually feel unworthy at their core, albeit their sense of grandeur - one needs to take an effort in understanding what their hidden shame is - this can help with them getting aware of who they are. Not accusing why they are doing some thing in the most direct sense, but by using other subtle methods to put a point across. Also, the narcissistic person shouldn’t view you as a ‘weak empath’ - they should view the other person as someone whose emotions are their strength, and one who will not fall prey to their ploy. That makes a huge difference. Now, I am not trying to tell that this always works - and at least not in the case of serial killers, etc. - some have passed to the point of an almost, next to impossible recovery. If one is aware that they are dealing with a narcissist (who is not of the super violent kind), they need to make a choice if they wish to be a part of their healing process or not. It’s a very difficult task, and not everyone is going to be able to deal with the tumultuous aspect of it. Nevertheless, I have a belief that people can change - one never knows what that one catalyst might be. There are children, going through a difficult childhood - on the verge of losing their beautiful sense of identity. I genuinely believe that it is imperative that children know what true love is - you have no idea the positive impact love can have on their lives. Healing adult narcissism is a very difficult task, but we can, in our little capacities, try to stop that within children - that is one way to help alleviate narcissism before it grows. Children are the best learners, teach them well.

I agree.

You are on the right path. You’re making changes - do not take it to the extreme. Small, steady steps, with moderation as the goal.

Lack of selfishness and selflessness are two different things. I don’t think we can use it interchangeably.