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Learning always precedes understanding; give people a chance to learn, first - you can then see if they have the capacity to understand post that. Never judge before that. Nonetheless, I do agree that this is a complex concept that requires strong emotional investment from both the sides, and that not all will be able to understand it; hence, it is best to do a careful assessment before getting involved in a romantic dynamic here.

Or someone who is willing to learn? . Also, 95%, dude? Come on. .

The kind of woman you have been attracted to - that’s the kind of woman to look for. Now think, who have you really been attracted to? What characteristics of theirs did you find alluring? Why did you develop a liking towards them? I’m sorry your mother treated you in such a manner, but you can overcome it. It will take effort on your part; first being getting rid of this identity that has been carved out for you. Think about this - who are you outside this persona? What’s your ideal self? There’s a way you visualise yourself, in the depths of your heart and in the corner of your mind, right ? Your true self lies there. It’s hidden, but it’s there - discover that, and then embody it. Find yourself, first. The right one will come by, eventually. Best,

A few practical questions here, first: Could you elaborate a little more on this? How much are you presently invested - with respect to practice? Are you a novice, or have some training - as in, the number of hours you have put into this? Do have a blue-print laid out? Have you researched about this market? How's it doing right now? What are the possible forecasts? Do you have mentors in this field? Is it a smart choice, or a safe choice? Safe is not necessarily smart. How are you so sure of the 'later'? What if later isn't as optimal? How do you know if later exists? Life is all about the adventure, right? You have seen comfortable. Try tasting risk once? Self-actualization is not a linear, ideological pathway. I'm quoting you here, "Also discovered a specific creative outlet and style that in part reconnects to my childhood hobbies, which combined with what I have learned in this process really really excites me. This vision got me through everything, even what I suspect a psychotic breakout in these years of semi-isolation in a new city." If this calling is as epiphanous as you mentioned it to be, it will catapult you into higher states of being that is truly aligned with your true self. Self-actualization is the true realization of your being, and it is different for each and everyone; the self-help industry uses this word in a rather ideological, monotonous sense. People wish to actualize because they wish to be happy - so seek happiness and you are actualizing. See? It's simple. Are you as equally ready to give up this idea of your family? The future idea of the family, let us keep it for the future, haha. I'll tell you something - parents usually oppose things until you become successful in what you do. If I were you, I'd take that risk, with confidence, and show my parents what I am truly capable of. It's the job of the parents to be worried about us, and ensure that our prospects are secure; however, nothing would give them more joy than seeing their child happy, and secure - on their own terms. This is, of course, if you share a healthy relationship with your parents - for concern and toxicity are two different things. I'm going to quote Jim Carrey during his commencement address at the Maharishi University "My father could have been a great comedian but he didn't believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant and when I was 12 years old he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father. Not the least of which was that: You can fail at what you don't want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love." In the literal sense - no. Haha! I get what you mean, though. That's what is called the adrenaline rush - your life is the most important thing to you, and there are many frightening things along the way, but should the fear of falling stop you from climbing any mountain? One can fall anywhere, and get hurt, but we seldom think of that. Remove this association. . Caveman (haha), if I were you, I'd do it. Trust yourself, trust God. Even Bezos, Musk, Jobs, Gates (basically most of the entrepreneurs / artists / designers / all people in unconventional fields) take that risk. I mean, risk is inevitable. There's fragility everywhere. Now that I think of it, staying in that secure job is also you taking a risk - a risk with your emotions? So basically, yeah, it's what kind of risk you want to take that actually matters. I'd suggest you the kind that makes you happy now, and promises the same in the future, later. Hope this helps. I wish you the best in this journey!

Thank you for bringing up such an important issue worth discussing. #LetTheDogsHumpBro

@LostStudent Hey, the others here have given great advice. However, I’d like to offer another, different perspective. Read about the maximizer and satisficer categories. You feeling unhappy may be either because you’re a maximizer who heavily relies on external sources for evaluation- on a basis of lot of factors. Or, you could actually, inherently, be a satisficer, who is being pushed by the society to be a maximizer. A very interesting research article that you may want to take a look at: They have chosen three distinct cultural groups and analyse how different societies behave. Title: The Tyranny of Choice : A Cross - Cultural Investigation of Maximizing-Satisficing Effects on Well-Being https://works.swarthmore.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=&httpsredir=1&article=1002&context=fac-psychology All the best! May you find your answers. Best,

@SamC Read about the Broken Bird Syndrome / Broken Wing Syndrome. There’s books, articles, etc. It may be of help.

Hey - Pixies

Educate me here, Leo, for I do not understand this, still - wouldn't he get this 'hot sex' even more easily without trying to impose things and making rules? Why are men making things difficult for themselves, if the hot sex is the actual goal? Logically speaking, with your train of thought- the very idea that 'sex has become so difficult to get' right now is a doing of men, itself? Did they regulate too much for their own bad?

Isn't there a lesson to learn here, too? He was naive and that is what draws me to the story: he explored things on his own terms and reached his own conclusion. Also, the berry thing could happen to anyone - that was a misfortune, and is not something that should be considered 'dumb'. Now, about him talking about 'loneliness' and 'regret' - yes, that's the entire point, right? He reached those conclusions and wanted to work on them, but fate had other plans for him. If he were lucky enough to make it out alive, he'd be one of those 'happy' stories you are talking about. Why did you jump to the conclusion that I do not appreciate them? Chris McCandless is a famous story, and that is why I used it - and as I mentioned above, he'd be one of these happy, inspiring stories, if he'd make it out alive. I choose to give him that chance. I have not read many of these stories of people who are living off the grid and are sustaining themselves in the wild. Please share them so that I can appreciate it? Haha, not so much my hero, as much as someone I relate with. If given a chance, I'd like to live like McCandless, but with better direction and decisions - but anyway, who knows what fate has in store for me?

That's one of the many ways to put it. Another way of putting it would be: Pasting this: "Courtesans were a part of a thriving culture of women who were learned, witty and wealthy. They wrote and performed music; they painted and danced. They provided men with intelligent conversation, artistic pleasure and sex. Courtesans were different in many ways. They were not tied down to a husband and could enjoy the attentions of many men whenever they liked. They were also able to speak their minds on any subject, and were able to speak and think freely along any route they chose. Ancient Greece and ancient Rome both had courtesans as a very prominent part of the way the social fabric operated," Feldman said. "So did most places in the Far East and South Asia, India and Renaissance Italy." In Renaissance Italy, Feldman's field of study, courtesans maintained salons "where there was elevated conversation about philosophical issues, intellectual issues, theories of life and beauty," she said. "Some [courtesans] were among the best-educated and most literate and cultured women of their time." "The cultivated courtesan was a very refined, educated type of woman," said Doris Srinivasan, an art historian at the University of Memphis who will present a paper on courtesans in India. "She was respected; she had status; her position was not a degraded one. She was a woman of generosity, of wealth, of integrity, of education." Sex was also used as a way of gaining power and prestige. Courtesans were usually highly educated and well versed in the etiquette of the time but they were also independent and able to express themselves as no other women could. A courtesan or lorette was in control of her own life. She decided what lovers to take and she decided what was acceptable for her to do or say. It seems as though selling one's body is a small price to pay for the amount of freedom that was allowed to courtesans. The courtesan who, in choosing her profession had already rejected society's constraints and was thus able to live in an open and free manner. "A courtesan is not the same as a prostitute." Modern sensibilities have equated courtesanship with prostitution, but courtesans and their societies did not. When the British colonized India, they made courtesans register for medical checkups and taxed them as if they were prostitutes, Srinivasan said. "They were really degrading them and placing them in a position they really did not have prior to that," she said. A courtesan traded sex and sensuality, she said, but also was required to possess a daunting variety of other skills. According to the Kama Sutra, a "public woman" should be proficient in 64 arts, including singing, musical instruments, dancing, writing, drawing, magic, tailoring, carpentry, architecture and chemistry. They had autonomy and power. But the vanished world of courtesans is an intriguing glimpse of female prestige and power where modern minds would least expect to find it. The Kama Sutra describes what happens to the courtesan who masters the 64 skills. "Such a woman receives a seat of honor in the assembly of men. She can discourse with men as their equal. She is moreover always respected by the king and prized by learned men and, her favor being sought by all, she becomes an object of universal regard."

Then, what about the courtesans that were well respected and enjoyed immense privilege in the olden times? The concept of 'danger' due to promiscuity in itself is made-up for a certain context to exist. There were so many cultures that used to practice polyamory, and the social situation was much better than what it is today. Don't you think that if it were not for these 'laws' and 'regulations' in the first place, sex would not be put into certain boxes? These laws teach you how to behave - and bring forth concepts that never previously existed. Regulation is a broad term with broad laws, and that kills individuality - suppression, repression, etc. hence, arise. Abuse is nothing but misuse - and for something to be misused, they need to be firstly 'taught' how to use it. Who's the teacher here, then? Do you think biological desires need to have societal moral codes to govern it, where someone, sometime decided that something is wrong if it is done in a different manner? If sex was fluid, and all had a choice, do you think most of these would happen, at all? Why would there be issues with reputation / gossip / finance / embarrassment / broken bonds / work place duties if it were treated as something natural? I have read about the lives of courtesans in the kingdoms of Asia and they did not seem to have these issues. Now, there's something to think about here, right? Sexual activity and esteem became inter-related components here - because the religion and fear angle had to play out. So, "Your daughter's social survival depends on her not being perceived as a dirty slut" - while this is true now, considering how the society functions right now, would this have existed if it were not for this 'regulation', at all? . Trying to have a healthy, intellectual discussion here.

@LordFall This is something that has happened over time. I believe this has to do with the act of control. How does one control another? By instilling fear within them about their very freedom - make them fear freedom. Biological needs are our true nature, and the religious / political systems realised that they can control people when they put in ideas of fear, that will eventually give rise to shame. How do you check if the fear is working? See what emotions people feel after having done what they were told not to do. It’s all a part of the dissonance - you know that sexuality is the essence of your existence, and yet the societal mechanisms treat it as taboo - and hence, shame percolates in the crevices here. There were so many cultures that were very sexually active, and that was respected (read ancient texts of the Eastern traditions) - but with colonization, missionary work, etc. - it took a very different turn. It’s much better now than it was 100-200 years ago, but there’s still a lot of conditioning to be undone.

@neutralempty Thanks, buddy! @SirVladimir Thank you! Beautiful! God’s really creating art that heals through you, friend!

I hope this is the appropriate sub-forum. This happened a month ago. I hurt someone I deeply care about in the midst of an argument, because a certain point was raised that triggered some past hurt. While this person’s intention wasn’t bad, they should’ve been more thoughtful regarding the situation. I sought forgiveness for my reaction, and did make things better; everything is alright, and I’m sure the other person doesn’t even think about this anymore, but I still feel guilty. I am not someone who hurts people emotionally - at least, I try my best not to. However, in this particular situation, I am finding it difficult to forgive myself because I used certain harsh words, which resulted in the person crying. Your insights will be appreciated.

Hey RoerAmit, Sometimes victimhood can also be a mask for laziness. The real question is - How much do you really want it? Are you really willing to take the initiative? Do you really want to put in the work? You cannot sit in a single place for hours and complain that you’re hungry (limiting belief). Instead, you’ll walk to the refrigerator and try to satiate your hunger, right? The food’s always been there, you just had to reach out. You’ll feel love when you seek love and most importantly, be that love yourself. You’ll earn more money when you put yourself out there with the right mindset. You’ll lose weight if you go to the gym. You can attract women if you take the initiative. Act on the things, rather than sitting on it. You’ll find your answers here. I know, emotions can be very misleading - but you’re the master of them, remember that. All the best!

Sigh! I need to keep up with the times. Thanks for the update, Cetus! Haha!

Awakening and feeling the non-duality within this duality is also an egoic interpretation of the Mind. There’s no ‘scene’ in the infinite non-duality.

Damn, I was thinking of the same example right now, haha- and I used a similar one in a post a few days ago. A scene is the interpretation of the Mind through the mind.

My sample size consists of movies such as the Godfather.

Don’t you think a scene needs to be seen for it to be called a scene, in the first place? If there’s no one to witness it, does a scene actually exist? . @TheAvatarState Nice poem.

It depends on where you’re aiming at. One shot to the head, and people pretty much, uhm, cease to exist, Leo. Only the very lucky ones get to see a new, beautiful, imaginary day.

I’m confused. Why can’t personal development include this synthesizing of knowledge? I mean, personal development is an umbrella term, which is pretty much inclusive.

Tsuki, there’s a lot to think about here. I will examine this in much more depth. Also, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. Best,