Proserpina

Exhibit A for an example of gaslighting everyone.

@Razard86 Besides people are complaining that you are in your masculine for an inordinate amount of time. I am very rarely in my masculine and I'm the one being accused of being an 'EGO'. Please. Allow me to please explore that side of myself and test the waters. You know me, you know I rarely speak up on this forum, and my feminine nature. You even tell us that you love your ego and yet when someone is given the audacity to be in their ego and their masculine, you accuse them of being an 'EGO'.

Razard I don't want to block you, you're my friend. I like you. You have many great insights that I appreciate and gain value from c: I'm trying to 'integrate' my masculine, so please pardon my more harsh side. I'm learning at the moment. Its a self development forum after all. I personally feel that you sometimes take the drama on the forum and then use that to your advantage to preach. I don't think that's very nice.

Ego and No ego Beauty and the Beast. Ego is to be loved, in all of its masculine ugliness. The Return of the Old is the return of the masculine and feminine. My old teacher taught me the ways of ego and no ego and the feminine and masculine and balancing the two. We make the perfect balance of no ego and ego, like a rebirthing of the Old. Together we create Kali. Together we create the Old. The Masculine I remember when I was channeling, the feminine and masculine were in perfect harmony and I was attacked for my masculinity. The masculine is going to be attacked, that's going to be expected. Only you want to be firmly grounded in spirit when you do speak in the masculine. You want to be very careful that you come from a pure place. In the long term, you will see vindication. The masculine is quite sacrificial, and pointed, with long-term vindication if done with pure intent and firmly grounded in spirit. I'm still exploring what that means. I'm still finding my own voice. The Crash Don't mess with the masculine. This isn't a game. If you speak the masculine you better make sure you know the level of purity behind it. The crash will come and with it, karma. Make sure it's your voice. Be authentic. Learning the masculine isn't worth losing my own voice.

@Razard86 What you don't realize is that you are coming from a particular perspective, but you have theoretically defined yourself as above everybody else that you communicate with on this forum. But have you really earned that right through true embodiment over a period of time? You're either going to resonate with what I'm saying here right now on your path or you're not. If you're not ready, we should start with examining your definition of ego so we can have a discussion around that issue first. This is just going to go round and round with you, presumptively declaring yourself as the victor above all on here. Otherwise, this is just you taking the presumptive stance that you are better than everyone else on here in this community. This is only going to go so far for you you should realize this now. Keep this in mind. The beginning of the path is not the end of the path, despite appearing so to almost all of us at some point. Superiority is earned, not presumed through overconfident clever ideas alone. You can't fake it to make it in spiritual enlightenment alone. It doesn't work that way.

@Razard86 I hate to say this so bluntly to you but you're really talking to yourself in your response to me. Consider that and go back and reread your own post. You might have a real awakening if you do so in light of this comment.

@Razard86 Why isn't your perspective just another one of the many perspectives that have presented their points of view here? You seem to assume that your perspective is one-up and distinguishable from all of the other perspectives that have commented on the question at issue in this thread. That is a huge presumption on your part. How does your relative point of your view factor into your so called absolute perspective?

Concentration Ability Concentration works if you have an intimate relationship with the source. Somewhere along the way, I lost that relationship. Perhaps because I was chasing the wrong things. It is a very subtle thing. You allow source into your heart. You surrender to it. And your capacity to 'hold' its presence there increases. It doesn't really have anything to do with concentration, more to do with intimacy. I have a long way to go on my path to getting back to where I was and yet, not really at all. The Perfect Bond We were the perfect bond. I would sit for hours just admiring our bond. In the beginning, he taught me the ways of the masculine, I would twirl and spin and dance in the masculine, captivated by it. I was the loveliest 'she-devil' you ever did see. I was enamored by these seeming 'projections' laid upon me, which taught me to see and appreciate the masculine. It was an enormous relief to finally lay claim to that aspect of me that so rarely saw the light of day. I could relate to things I'd never related to before and my empathy expanded as I expanded. The totality of my being expanded with this bond. Regression The beginning came to pass, and I actually met him. My intuition had mostly been guiding me prior toward the masculine. Once I met him, the regression began. I was a 'she-devil' after all. The projections turned darker and twisted and yet again I disown that aspect of myself. I can sense people's projections, I can sense what is going on inside people's psychology (and my intuition used it for growth in this instance). I knew that Leo had been molested before he told anyone. Once I was demonized, I dropped that part of me as that part of myself slowly died. Balance The masculine integration is still present and alive, with a form of regression in the background. He is human. Our relationship is not perfect. We have an extremely solid bond that is made up of more than fantastical elements but real growth and expansion, however at a 'human' rate. I love his flaws, his projections. I integrate my masculinity in his presence with his mind and expand into yellow. Sometimes I get stuck on the regression like in the above post, but I was angry. Intuition I was explaining to my psychologist that I see signs that my intuition picks up on. A stream of light, a stream of information then feeds through to me. Based on my assumptions and interpretations of that stream of light and information I then either enter panic mode, hypervigilance, or a healthier non-biased state of interpretation. The stream has a great depth to it that can cause hypervigilance if the message is 'negative' if I'm not careful. The light streams through a concentrated stream toward me as well as a less concentrated stream cascading outward in all directions, very beautiful. She recommended I see a doctor with herself present Lol.

Okay, everyone. Fun time is over. Please get out of my journal.

Haha. I wish that were the case. Sounds very idealistic that women are to be protected and treasured and loved. The world is a cold, harsh place. I see him the way I do because I share an unconditional bond with him. A soul contract.

@thisintegrated Joseph told me due to the fact that he can't defend himself on here please refrain from opining about him especially if you are going to allege controversial claims about him or his personality characteristics that he is unable to respond to. He told me he doesn't think that you're going to give a fair assessment due to your prior admitted loose-with-the-truth conduct on this forum.

That's so sweet. I always feel like my writings are kinda cringy and mistaken (half the time they are, although they are improving, and becoming more grounded with time). The whole process is hugely growth-supporting, however painful. Being so public always comes with its special kind of growth and pain pill.

Joseph is pretty sure he is an ENTJ enneagram 4. His test results indicate that he's midway between the S versus N, but leaning more in the direction of N. He is interested in the arts and is an artist (plays jazz trumpet) and kind of rebellious at heart, which could indicate enneagram 4. I personally feel that his work in the legal profession influences what his results are. He has developed introverted sensing.

Cool! We are almost opposites. sx and 8 and Te are known for their ferocity whereas 9, fi combined with sx last is known for their gentleness. Fire vs Air.

Seems like an accurate typing. INFP 9w1 so/sp. I have the warmth and formality of so/sp. The gentle and soft nature of enneagram 9. And the soul-searching nature of INFP. Very rarely am I argumentative. I normally stick to my own work and rarely speak up.

@thisintegrated Can you help me with my enneagram wing?

@thisintegrated What do you think the order of my instinctual variants are?

That's been my thinking as well. Give me your best stab at a tritype for me.

Corroboration is good. What do you think my dominant enneagram is?

Joseph typed me as an INFP.

@Marten98 It was years ago that I listened to that video, so I'm not sure. Sorry.

My value When I pray and commune with the source, my heart opens and knows the truth, that each creature is a beautiful manifestation of the divine. Sometimes my mind becomes clouded by darkness and I lose sight of that truth almost completely and totally. I have endless value in the eyes of the source. (I called myself worthless earlier)

@Heart of Space I don't find that to be true at all. Loba's writing is self-reflective and humorous. Her writing is bulky but enjoyable to read, she puts a lot of effort and skill into everything she does. A true sign of a master. She doesn't seem narcissistic at all. She takes into consideration everyone's path and encourages everyone to go inward. She's very patient and loving.

Twin flames I've had two deep experiences with twin flames that can't solely be chalked up to a 'smoke' experience alone. With one of them being my best friend. I believe you can have many twin flames. In both instances, the smoke was profoundly present, as if my gift were tied to them somehow. "She will raise the collective as she rises to her beloved". She rises to her beloved on more than one level, on multiple levels, the smoke, her twin flame, and source. Twin flames are there to guide each other toward higher and higher growth and expansion. Their presence alone can trigger this. When there is a premature separation or imbalance, it is felt on all levels of the most sensitive twin's being.

What happened to you recently? You used to be kinder in your posting. I'm just assuming that lately, you've been going through something. You've given me nothing to respond to here, you've just made a global attack on the sourcing of my writings and I'm not sure how to respond to this or whether it merits a response from me.