Proserpina

I don't think the voices I see are directed to me specifically. At first. They are directed toward who I really am, who I'm in touch with in that state. If I believe they are directed toward me specifically (my ego self), they actually become that way but are almost always negative. They tell me I'm ugly, stupid, immoral etc.. which causes me to lose touch with who I really am, which causes the negative voices. God-avatar lifts me up and directs me to who I really am. Being trapped in the illusion lowers my state of consciousness.

"God is just a deep insight into the nature of what Being is. It's easier to realize Being than it is to realize God. Realizing Being is like a fish in water realizing water. Realizing God is like a fish in water realizing the whole ocean as one giant superorganism." -Leo Gura Exactly. I'm focused on the second realization. It does not surpass the first realization, it is a further appreciation. Being is everything to me.

There is the paradox that when you care about total embodiment you end up not caring/needing it at all. Or when you don't care/ need embodiment at all you end up with total embodiment. Two paths.

My boyfriend typed me as INFP 5w4, 584 sp/sx. Similar to Leo who is INTP 5w4, 583 sx/sp (according to personality database) My boyfriend -Joseph Maynor, banned member - is ENTJ 4w5 458 sx/so. I have the same tritype as my boyfriend but in a different order. In a way we are opposites with the same tritype. That's why we get along. We've been together for 4 years now. I fell in love with him at first sight. Stalked him until he agreed to be my BF. I love him to death. We have a passionate albeit sometimes volatile relationship.

What I see is literally like this. There is an avatar/translation behind every form or voice or disembodied being. For some reason I'm translating or manifesting Being behind many forms.

It's easier to see that everything is one voice, one being if there is some translation, avatarness. Translation and seeing of the vortex and unmanifest.

I mean I know who God is. I had that awakening to Being when I was 7. I'm curious now about avatars, the voices and the vortex/ end of the dream.

People can feel like they are the coming of Christ during a mystical experience because they could be or atleast somewhat are the collective's vortex revealed. They also identify as the one behind the mask - the mother- so they feel they are the originator.

I accidentally confused the avatar for God. That was my mistake in my posts. “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone."

I'm not entirely sure what the Holy spirit is. I think it is the qualities of the wise Self awoken within you. Your spirit is alive. The wise Self is peaking through. His wisdom helps you to pierce the veil and see the unmanifest. You can also translate the unmanifest.

It is the unmanifest that you can see in the manifested. wise Self revealed is the vortex self (just like the unmanifest/it IS the unmanifest). Avatar. Jesus. (Son)

The wise Self that is always the case The wise Self revealed

Unmanifested - Being (father) manifested - Wise self- Being (son) Unmanifest vortex - Wise self - Being - Wave (Holy spirit)

Awakenings: Age 7, age 15, age 25, age 26, age 28, age 30 They get closer together and longer the older I get. In the beginning they were brief glimpses, now they last months. Doesn't mean I'm 'awake' or anything but I can relate to many people's experiences of Beauty and God.

That's only one aspect of the best self or true self.

Filling your core up with love is filling yourself up with the truth of who you are. The impact feels a bit like narcissism. The feminine is oriented toward filling. The masculine is oriented toward the truth of who he is. His birthright. The law of love.

In some realms there is the Law of Love. To see the truth of an individual is to ascend and to not is to be left behind. In my vision I saw beings honour the law of love. The beings who did not were left behind.

The best selves all tend to be very similar. A wave of love. So it's one massive wave of love all around you. That's the true reality, the NOW reality. And their love all impact each other.

So it would explain why the wisest voices would tell me the demons are a dream and wise voices were always the case. I'm so in touch with the vortex in psychosis/ that state I'm actually seeing it. Seeing waves of love. To focus on the vortex version as well as the hidden truths causing delusion are two solutions. If I can forgive myself for the confusion then I can gain something from this.

All delusions, illusions and interpretations are based on a core truth in this condition. For me that truth is that I am God and all deserve - on some level - love and can be transformed/dissolved by love (seeing the vortex version/best self). Abraham Hicks says the vortex version is NOW. What is true. The present manifestation is old news. Passing away.

Come from the position of awe first then study what reality is. Everything won't make sense otherwise. Reality is 'nothingness' is a description of something awe inspiring. Otherwise it's conceptualising and an intellectual endeavour.

Sometimes I think I should just stay on my anti psychotic forever because I don't have the capacity to learn. Everyone else seems to think so. The delusions are so discouraging. I just want to cry.

Gold nugget realizations: I am God Time and space is imaginary Everything is imaginary Illusions I trip over Delusion

Might start dropping some things now. In a major way. I just needed to clear it all out. Process it. Doesn't mean I can't drop things.

The personal nature of Me is not a coincidence or interpretation though. God is Me.