Proserpina

The Collective It feels as if it were a friendship or relationship with the Collective, including nature. As if somehow the Collective were a hive mind or communicating at lightening speeds on an unconscious level. It feels directly connected to people and reality, even though when the Collective communicates with me unconsciously it feels very alien. The rest is synchronicity or higher intuition. Awakening When I am in alignment I am also experiencing awakening. I won’t go into too much detail apart from that since I am still exploring it but basically it’s that I experience everyone and everything as Me. Other signs: Note: Signs and symbols don’t mean anything unless it feels right. Higher intuition or synchronicity. Cigarettes - symbolises incorrect positioning/incorrect invitation (overstaying, wrong people etc.) Smoking - symbolises incorrect positioning/incorrect invitation (overstaying, wrong people etc.) No smoking - symbolises no incorrect positioning/incorrect invitation (overstaying, wrong people etc.) motorcycles - symbolises incorrect positioning/incorrect invitation (overstaying, wrong people etc.) Barbeque -symbolises incorrect positioning/incorrect invitation (overstaying, wrong people etc.) Fire - symbolises incorrect positioning/wrong action Fire extinguisher- symbolises correct positioning/right action Alcohol - symbolises incorrect positioning/wrong action Difficult to stay awake After my awakening yesterday it’s difficult to stay awake, it’s like the friendship between me and the collective is so dead. There’s such depression. I have to bring it back to life somehow.

Fundamentally it’s a relationship and friendship that is built. We fall in love. I fall in love.

Go to the Garden It's imperative that I go to the garden/ public park everyday, instead of isolating in my room all the time. Everything will align then, it's a part of my life purpose. I recieved signs - a white car, tortoise, ambulance, child and parent, mystic state, a couple, birds, plane, dog and owner, school kids, bikerider. It just feels right. Frightening I'm in 'psychosis'/ mystic state. I don't know how long it will last. It is exciting/frightening. 'Yummy' as the spirit just said. I'm only a child in this place. Surrounded by aliens/ adults. 'It's good, it's exercise" they tell me. "You okay, mate?". They are so down to earth. I'm scared. They are saying hello. "We're in your space" "May we come through?" "Open the door" " We have to go home" Karma I have negative karma from not doing the right thing as a spiritual person. And I'm paying/paid the price for that. Or something along those lines. The garden is my offering, my apology. Being on the right track is my restoration of friendship. Correct positioning Every sign and communication stands out when you are situated in the correct positioning. When there is no depression, when everything comes back to life and you are on the right path. When there is depression, everything goes silent. Shine These signs are coming right out of the woodwork. "Shine" - correct positioning "Outside" - correct positioning "First aid" - correct positioning "Medication" - symbolises being out of correct positioning (a very specific example) "Rain" - Correct positioning Signs telling me where to go Random stuff heard knocking when I first invited them in school children symbolise learning on the path ‘spirits’ feel very much like the collective it becomes very intimate over time with right positioning/right action being friendly with people and nature invites the ‘spirits’ in even if it’s just keeping them company or sitting near them. Everything is recontextualized when you are on the right path.

Okay, so, something important is happening. I'm awakening to something. Here are my notes: Sharp feeling of anxiety/anticipation Reality shift Sense of knowing Ears peaking up Stomach nausea Signs, synchronicities Sign "mystify" Symbol: cleaning hands (lots of meanings) 'Spirits' were in the room speaking to me (synched up) In full mystic state Train your attention on already known symbols and signs Get the feeling back slowly Notice where the feeling IS It's not psychosis (some of it), it's reality Mystic presence Enlightenment Presence is desired They are depressed due to lack of presence (I don't know who 'they' are) Above is significant ^ it adds an entirely different dimension . There's an ambulance. With a siren. And it stopped right next to me. I almost had a heart attack from the synchronicity.

@VioletFlame ? ♥

I would say I have low spawn count (fool archetype) but I can tap into a high spawn count under pressure. I’ve also done a lot of development work on myself to hopefully off set my low spawn count that is genetic.

Don’t worry everyone I’m not sniffing shampoo, it’s essential oils, not herbal essences LOL.

Identity and self image There's nothing wrong in creating a healthy self-image and identity. If you have the mental flexibility to fake it till you make it and you can pretend to be all manner of things (even weird things like crystals and essential oils) to improve self-esteem and life energy then I don't see the harm. You'll also take on the qualities of those things. That's what Sharmans do, they shapeshift. I also want to progress to animals and other life forms. Life energy Taking on the qualities of these formations is another way to increase life energy and heal. I do believe you can reach out to spirits with this method as well who can assist you, since I was heavily contacted last night (but my memory fails me, have to write down my dreams). Life energy and healing increases because you are embodying strength or goodness or any other quality. You are unblocking the flow within the body so resources can enter. Spawn Count I would say I have low spawn count (fool archetype) but I can tap into a high spawn count under pressure. I’ve also done a lot of development work on myself to hopefully off set my low spawn count that is genetic.

The Blackness The blackness threatens to engulf me even now. It looms over me. I feel accountable to it, tied to it. I must see it through. I must keep it under control. It is intelligent. It is a mass wall 1000s of feet high fast enclosing. ‘Love is the only way through and there is no escaping this task.’

I will write down any energies I feel on the planet. I sense…a peace. There is a very long peace since the major upset/premonition I sense…many not serious dark energies still present I sense…. many tremors occurred after the major upset/premonition I sense….. a mass ignorance. A finger in ears kinda phenomenon. I sense…..a blackness. A coming blackness. Beautiful and terrible. Technology. Death. I sense…..A new premonition coming in 5 years or so

Methodology Apply the Crystal and essential oil to the spinal area and say ‘I am that’ to solidify it. Keep an open mind. Words are very powerful. You want to BE the Crystal or essential oil. You are precious. You are loveable. You are healed. When you say ‘I am that’ say it with strength, resolution and vigor as if it were a command. It gets easier with practice. You should feel a shot of energy run through your body. Do it frequently. If the spine doesn’t work try the centre of the head or the third eye. Experiment. Along with crystals and herbal essence you can do it with music and art if your mind is open enough. Life and dance Dance is a natural outcome of life energy transmitted by love/positive energy. You are are overflowing and you can’t help but to burst forth into full bloom, into dance. You are flowering. . My favourite Crystal is rose quartz and my favourite essential oil is lavender. They are permission slips as Bashar would say. They give me permission to Love and be Love.

@Judy2 Please expand on this paragraph if you can. It reminds me of something I experienced. The way you communicate is very beautiful and very true. "all in. you are fully committed to Life, "Life is Now", you know that Love is the only way and are fully committed to this path. Not only do you think of Love as your highest value, but you embody this knowledge and live in accordance with it. Being selfless is to love yourself as deeply as you can, with no excuses and nothing in the way. Whatever seems to be in the way, you love that, too. You love all of yourself, all of Life, and see everything and everyone for what they truly are. you are selfless and courageous, even when you are terrified and wish you could escape this task. this is the path that leads to God."

Apologies for writing in your journal but I love this so much. You are very gifted.

Winter War There is a pattern of interaction with my spirits and deities that include a peak and a valley. If there is too much integration and a burnout appears the spirits grow wearisome of you. To say the least. You get taken for granted. The more you meditate the angrier they become, because they cannot keep up. You are locked out. You think you are doing something wrong in your meditation at first. At first. Because the anger of the spirits cannot overcome spirit and love and meditation. It all purifies in the end. But this may be a very long winter. Slowly She lifts her head from the pillow of winter boredom Rigidly, she rises from her icy grave With light in her eyes And fight in her fists She commences the winter war And as the ice welks away The spring queen will take over Broken mirrors The good/non angry spirits sometimes send me messages telling me that the mirror is broken. That the majority of spirits are angry or burnt out and so will not communicate in a truthful manner. Spirits are a combination of reflection, free will and opposites. Rejection of the offering If the spirits become burnt out they will reject your offering. If you keep offering, offering and offering they will turn away or become angry. You can either push through and continue to offer purifying the spirits or you can listen to the spirits and they will become less angry, a far more risky option. However if you don't listen to the spirits at all they may tamper with your food and water and you won't be able to eat until they are less angry. You have to find the right balance between survival and not allowing the spirits to push you around (and they will, they'll make you jump through hoops to please them). Commands only work on days when the spirits are less angry. The Four Horsemen The four Horsemen is what happens right after the "crucifixion" or the rejection of the offering (when you are shut out, disowned and your food and water turns bad) IF you self medicate. If you can somehow lock yourself in a room somewhere or better yet in a forest then you can push through and purify the spirits. I remember self medicating many times to get through the rejection of the offering and waking up to the Four Horsemen. The energy was horrendous. The birds were warning me from overhead. I would keep to myself in a forest or park I sense..... I've been locked out. I sense..... there was more than just the four Horsemen. They can leave for extended lengths of time. Meds are an illusion. I sense..... there is a burnout. I sense...... they will return.

Burnout It's a real possibility that there was a burnout. . Spirit I don't speak much about spirit in my journal but it is dear to my heart. It is how I got through psychosis/lower dimensions without harming anyone. It is the beloved. Self love and other love are life purposes or alignments. To be clear. . Spirit vs Positive Energy vs Alignments I sometimes use these words interchangeably when I shouldn't be. I need to be a tiny bit more clear in my communication (most of the time I'm semi channeling) so I can look back and understand what I meant. I mostly want to do this for myself. . Crystals and herbal essences - positive energy, alignment, embodiment God - Spirit and Love, inherent to reality Self love, other love - alignments, embodiment, positive energy . Receptivity Radical openmindedness and being a clean slate/cleanliness are some of the a prerequisites for recieving love or positive energy from crystals and herbal essence at the third eye, spinal area and head area. You want it to fully penetrate so that you may be made anew and purified. Penetration can only occur with an open mind. Sex Life (I was separated from my partner during this time) My Beast and I had a pretty active sex life although with varying results. There are many ‘sides’ to my Beast. Many sides of him were resistant to our sex life as if he were openly wanting me to see the warring aspects of him, wanting me to help heal and soothe the sides of him that needed healing. That were resistant (but not truly, only hurting). I had to learn how to love all people and to see my lover through the eyes of Many. My strengths (things I can offer): An open-mind Self love Self recognition Beings with positive energy/warmth Positive energy/ Warmth Polarisation

Self love - The lion/tiger offering (see above video) - First mystical experience/awakening included the lion symbology I’m having a REALLY tough time creating an offering so I’m going to focus on self love prominently. It seems easiest. Enjoyment The number one key is to enjoy the process. If I’m straining, I either need to take a break or it’s the wrong method or process or I need to take a path of lesser resistance. I’m exceptionally weak due to poor health (since 21) and I need to accept that that is going to impact my path. A part of healing from psychosis/lower dimensions is healing from the medical damage to the brain (and there was some damage) and healing means learning to accept and adapt. Crystal work Currently experimenting with Crystal work. Using the energy of the Crystal to penetrate into the field around my body, especially around the spine, third eye and head. Crystals hold a powerful energy signature I can work with similar to herbal essence, plus I can move it around closer to spots on the body. They are particularly useful for self love, breathing love into the self. Crystals and herbal essence Crystals and herbal essence can act as stand ins for spirit if you can’t access positive energy for whatever reason. They also make it easier to access positive energy. Struggling I might be struggling to channel or create an offering because I’m not practicing self love. You sort of have to cover your blind spots so your love is Total to be more God-like and channel states and access states.

Manifested this song. Spirits talking to me. Also electronics, birds and doors are making sounds.

Walking with a cane Herbal essences, incense, blackcurrant juice, strong tastes, teas, coffees and strong sensations all serve as a cane for me to walk with now that I’ve essentially become disabled spiritually. I apply the spicy soup method to the herbal essence, naturally deepening (entering) the sensation and then sharpening (further entering) the sensation. Using my hands for assistance. “Entering sensation” Entering sensation is like a different state of consciousness. Entering a different state of consciousness. That state of consciousness is pure Love and Beauty.

Make an offering The spirits demand an offering. Offerings increase presence. It’s an interpretation, a way in, at least. Perspective. Entertain them. . During third psychosis/mystical experience: The Sun - symbolised offering (meditation/Beauty) Stars - symbolised offering (meditation/Beauty) Music - symbolised offering (meditation/Beauty) Singing - symbolised offering (meditation/Beauty) Little dancer - symbolised offering (happiness) Flowers - symbolised blooming Puppy and owner - symbolises progress Baby/child and parent - symbolises progress Ants, planes, bees - symbolises work White birds, dragonflies- angels . Offerings (where I actually try for an extended length of time) firmly lock into place the spirit world. The spirits start talking to me. It might not be immediate but it happens. Spirit spoke to me through this song. It doesn’t feel human. Sky full of stars ”I have a dream “ the Sun the flowers, tulips specifically the people are alien This is another video that I manifested from meditation a few months ago, very similar to above. The beings in the above video seem alien to me as well. As you can see there are Tulips in the video. Just try I remember pacing up and down my bedroom, crying, panicking, as the smell of death/negative energy encroached into my bedroom, like thick tendrils around my body suffocating me, heating me up. I couldn’t breathe. I kept asking mooji for help but that was no help. Until it suddenly came to me to meditate. I had been trying every other method under the sun except meditation. But wait. I couldn’t meditate. My ability to meditate was shot. The panic set in again. I began channeling onto a piece of paper ‘ just try’ over and over and over and then started to meditate (quite abysmally) and the spirits surprisingly understood. The smell soon dissipated and was replaced with a beautiful unknown smell. If you cannot offer much due to poor health or otherwise the spirits are more than understanding in most circumstances. They only care about time, effort and that you have some capacity that they can invest in. The spirits know I’m somewhat disabled but have/had a gift and it colours our interactions.

Mediating with my hands, dancing with coffee grains I’ve found that my age and health has started to wear down my concentration ability so I’ve started to turn to meditating with my hands and coffee grains (in private). Dancing also helps, along with music. I can reach ecstatic levels that way. Lessons from spirit in how to use my hands I was given the opportunity for lessons on using my hands to meditate. To create that real Oomph for the spirits to marvel at. It happened during a soccer practice, I listened to the coaches at the time and it spoke right at me and into my heart and I practiced (subtly) while they taught me. I stayed backed and listened from afar. I was told just the right things to actually learn and an hour later, angels manifested in physicality (people dressed as angels) in the Japanese Garden where I would meditate. The coaches told me it was very important that I practice because tough times were coming where I would be cut off. They taught me the ‘spicy soup’ method. Bring it down into a soup and sharpen into a spice. It’s a way to appreciate Beauty and properly meditate.

This is my cat Moby c: She’s 17 years old. She’s a great hunter. I’m going on a picnic today. Yay. . I’m in mystic state today. Everything is overlayed with meaning. Animals, colours, elements, people, music. I saw white birds flying overhead. My name popped up ‘Eve’ (I wonder if that was just a coincidence in terms of Adam and Eve). I was all tensed up and saw fire, took a deep breath and sank into the emotion expressing it fully and saw ice. My advice to future self: Meditate on Love. Look twice. Look twice. Look twice. Look for signs. Listen. Keep your ear to the ground. But mostly ground yourself in Being and coffee grains (lol). Strong sensations.

Correction: the energy had been transported into/ synched up with physicality. When the energy meets physicality it can turn not nice. Physicality and non physicality are not easily determined. It is a bastardisation to say that I was harmed by the dark energy and that it is ‘Evil’. It did harm me on some level, when it was synched up. . At all dimensions there are voices of God. Some are also voices of my twin flame along with God (Closer in stream than otherwise). Synchs are physicality, twin flames in physicality. It’s not really black and white- this is physical and this is non physical. ”From my point of view, I was realizing, or should I say, it was being revealed to me, that each moment was the unmediated expression of God, what I call the “Goddessence.”I remember turning on the radio and every voice I heard on the radio was the voice of this Goddessence. Every person I was seeing was the Goddessence him or herSelf. It seemed curious and confusing to me that everybody seemed to be so caught up in such limited, contracted identity states, as if they were pretending and really seemed to believe that they weren't Divine.”

According to the United States Department of Justice archives- The new definition is: “The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” For the first time ever, the new definition includes any gender of victim and perpetrator, not just women being raped by men. It also recognizes that rape with an object can be as traumatic as penile/vaginal rape.

@something_else Please be a little more considerate when outright questioning someone on their virginity if they have been raped. It’s still fresh for Tyler, obviously. This is needless psychological suffering.