Cubbage

This is a phenomenal post, possibly one of the very best on this forum. Would you be alright with me featuring this on my YT channel if I gave you full credit? @ZenSwift. No worries if not, thank you for sharing such a wonderful overview of your experience.

It's blocked in the UK and was curious as to what it was.

Hi everyone, I hope you're well. Over the past year and a bit, I've been collecting & sharing a great deal of trip reports on my YouTube channel that delve deep into level 5 psychedelic experiences, ego death, non-duality, God Consciousness etc. many of which I have plucked from this forum, as well as some of my own personal experiences regarding these matters. I thought I'd share my channel with you lot, as I believe many of you would find it valuable in understanding just how deep the rabbit hole goes with psychedelics. Often times trip reports online are particularly basic/shallow, this is why I decided to start collating all of the most profound reports I stumble upon and sharing them in a visual format. If any of what I've said has interested you, then please consider checking out some of the content I've been producing and I hope you manage to take away something from it. Here's an example of one of the very deepest reports I've covered, which was beautifully articulated by a member of the forum (DrMobius):

@Leo Gura I'm a few hours in and this has been awesome to listen to, great to hear an open-minded dialogue between you two, especially considering you both have radically different worldviews. Can't wait for part two.

The link to the video is unavailable in the UK, was wondering if anyone had an alternate source or could summarize the video? Thanks.

@Danioover9000 nice one cheers mate ?

Since the beginning of the initial lockdown last year, I feel like many Conservative Brits have become more disenchanted than ever with the Tory government that has been in power for over a decade now. Obviously the more left leaning part of the populace has been denouncing the conservatives for years and even had a shot with a truly socialist visionary in the form of Jeremy Corbyn, but his 'failure' in the last election also seems to have set the scene for the catastrophic handling of COVID by the tories and seems to have massively tarnished their reputation even with staunch Conservative voters. However it also seems like Labour (sort of like the UK's Democrats) is appealing more to the right wing with their new leader Keir Starmer, who's values and ideals are a far cry from the left wing attitudes of Labour under Jeremy Corbyn. There is a very clear tug of war between orange and green values within the UK at the minute, but even so, the tories seem to keep coming out on top despite all the bad press and very obvious corruption. I imagine the only thing that could sway the right wings voting power is an elevation in consciousness, much like how it is anywhere, but it's interesting to wonder how and when that could take place, it definitely seems to be happening slowly but surely. Just wondering what anyone else's thoughts are on this and what people from other countries wonder about what's going on. Cheers!

@Danioover9000 sick guy, I'll definitely be checking out Manben, Monster is another fine example of high art within the medium.

@Consept awesome response, you really hit the nail on the head there.

@vindicated erudite fully agree with your sentiments mate, it feels like the UK is on the cusp of some radical events occurring

@lmfao that was definitely one of the factors that won the vote for them, a lot of people over here were jumping on the Brexit bandwagon for purely ideological reasons. There is a big chunk of nationalist-minded people in the UK and lots of them were easily swooned by the Tories "Pro-Britain" mentality. Labour was vague on its stance regarding Brexit so I imagine that will have lost them a lot of voters when Corbyn was running for PM.

@lmfao anime & manga definitely have some examples of high art (Ghibli, Evangelion, Berserk, Ghost in the Shell, Angel's Egg etc.), but unfortunately I've found that the overwhelming majority are immensely shallow and poorly written.

@FlyingLotus nightmare fuel right there

My condolences, he was a truly valuable member of the forum, tragic to hear what has happened.

@Truth-Seeker That was a thoroughly riveting read! Thank you for sharing ?

@Leo Gura happy birthday my man, hope it's been a gooden ✌?

Couldn't agree more with this, it's just more of the same homogenous garbage that Disney has turned Star Wars into

@Dunnel at some point this suffering you're facing will become a catalyst for your deepest growth and eventual realisation of happiness. Praying for you mate, hope you manage to face your demons and persevere, life wants to you to be happy, you have the power to embrace it if you keep moving forward. Much love.

@Adamq8 cheers man glad you enjoyed it, namaste ✌?

@nexusoflife hey man, I was absolutely enamoured by your experience and ended up narrating it on my channel. This touched me very deeply, I think it might be one of the most eloquently articulated trip reports I've ever stumbled across. Much love and happy tripping my friend.

This was easily my favourite part of the series. I rewatched it for the first time in ages during the first UK lockdown and was pleasantly surprised to reach this scene, it felt like such an appropriate culmination considering the ever increasing scale of the show

@Moon I know hahaha I'm super lucky nobody got it on video. My friend who lives near the curry mile was shocked I even made it out of there alive ? not the friendliest of areas really, explains why I got punched lol

To preface these series of events, I thought I'd share some of the experiences I've had that lead up to what would be, the most fucked up night of my life. I'm 23 years old and have had vast experience of psychoactive substances, from DMT to meth and everything in between. Early on in my drug taking pursuits around 2014, I was just about coming out of my shell in terms of my social interactions with people. Throughout school I was plagued with what I now know, was moderate to sometimes severe autism. I rarely engaged in activities outside of my computer and most of my best friends at the time were people I spoke to over Skype. It wasn't until sixth form that I properly began going to parties, which there were a whole lot of round here where I live in the Lancaster area. The first night I took a gary (what we call ecstasy tablets in the North), was absolutely life changing. This experience diverged my path in life down several years of 'seshing' (slang for partying) and experimenting with substances with all my mates who I met through the sesh. We were all absolute fuckheads and did a lot of questionable shit looking back, but the majority of it was all great fun and hilarious to look back and see how we've matured as people. Once we began to discover psychedelics, they became our instant drug of choice for raves, parties and nights out, we were hooked on the sheer hilarity of these twisted substances. Everything was all sunshine and rainbows for many years whilst experimenting with LSD, mushrooms and DMT, besides the time I pissed myself in my mates mums bed during my first ego death-like experience on acid and super potent weed, that was pretty messed up. For ages after that insane experience, I desperately tried to figure out what truly happened to me. I thoroughly researched what the deal was with consciousness and how psychedelics tie into the nature of reality. My mate who had another similar chaotic ego death experience where he jumped from my balcony, shattered a table and attempted to dig into the earth with his bare hands was also super into this with me. This led us to further experimentation with higher doses of psychs, focussing more on the introspective aspects of the experience rather than the recreational. it got to a point where I thought I could use psychedelics in any environment, whilst also safely downloading information from the source of reality. How wrong I was. The date was November 11th 2017, I was 20 at the time. It was the day before my holiday to Prague with three of my mates, and also the night of a drum & bass/bassline event at a venue in Manchester known as 'Antwerp Mansion'. This was an infamous club deep within the Curry Mile (a nickname for a long stretch of road through Rusholme, south Manchester). I knew I really shouldn't be going out the day before my holiday, but alas, the ego won out and I foolishly indulged. We were all at our mates flat who went to university in Manny, getting majorly west off ket, acid, mdma, weed etc. There were about 10 of us who were going to this rave, so we geared ourselves up and consumed the majority of our substances before heading out to the venue, we were wary of the security at the event finding anything on us upon entry so we thought this was our safest option, it really wasn't. I ended up taking 250ug tabs, smoked several joints and had ket on the way to the event. Our mate kek was a serious ket fiend, and took such a ridiculous amount that resulted in him constantly speaking in sheer gibberish the entire duration of our journey and being unable to walk properly. Things were already off to a bad start. Some of us had to help haul him all the way to the venue, which was a good hours walk away. Throughout the trek, we were all rapidly coming up off the chemicals we'd ingested and it became so intense, that we ended up walking past the event and getting split up. The area we were in was causing us a great deal of paranoia, we were getting a myriad of dodgy looks from passers by. This was made even worse when kek pissed on a building that turned out to be a mosque, we were lucky nobody saw. When we got split up, l was with kek and my mate crosshatch when I first started to notice the visuals vastly intensify and my ego began to dissolve. I said to the boys that I was gonna walk back to the flat and ride out the experience, I didn't feel in any fit mental state to go to a rave. They managed to convince me otherwise. When we rocked up at the queue, each of us got separated within it, and I was left alone to mindfuck myself into oblivion. Whilst queueing up in the dingy alleyway leading up to the dilapidated manor, I started having intense notions of having experienced infinite realities, cycling through them as clear as day in my mind's eye. I began to heavily attach myself to one reality and tamper with the ego death, which was one where kek had been run over by a car. I started to think and talk to myself like this had fully just happened, that kek's head had just been crushed by a car. I began mentioning it to some people with varying reactions, some of em telling me to get fucked, I can't blame em, I was acting like a lunatic, I kept waving my ticket around asking if people knew if it had any information on my friend, who I presumed was dead. When I eventually regrouped with everyone, I was struck with an intense wave of peace, and I almost recouped my ego back from it's demise. Seeing that kek hadn't died was a massive relief, and I did return to a state of sanity for a brief while, until I became so entranced by the music and dancing that I began to merge with everything again. At this point, the hallucinations started to get immensely surreal and dream-like. I looked at the DJ and perceived his twiddling of the dials on the controller as a paramedic defibrillating someone on a stretcher, they were bleeding out majorly. In fact, all the walls and floor seemed to be bleeding away, it truly felt like reality was unfolding upon itself. Whilst looking at everyone dancing, I noticed that everybody had a certain aura to them and each of them with a greater aura had a more filled out, fantastical, detailed appearance. This was in contrast to the people who didn't have the same aura going on, they appeared like blank, fully black humans with no facial features almost like an icon for an unlockable character in a video game. It felt as if I was tapping into infinite intelligence and perceiving each person's karmic backlog, each an individual strand of infinite consciousness, experiencing itself and constantly growing and evolving whilst also being one thing and Nothing simultaneously, of which I was as well. This incredible revelation was met with the most unfortunate outcome. Me and crosshatch walked to another area of the mansion, which was playing some of the most hypnotically bassey drum and bass and bassline tunes I'd ever heard. It was so mesmerising in fact, that I ended up deciding I didn't need my phone anymore and lobbed it across the room, much to crosshatch's surprise. Shortly after this incident, I was started on by this random guy who began to push me about and give me shit for seemingly no reason and people started to defend me whilst I had no clue what was real and what wasn't. This stressful encounter inspired me to get some fresh air, the worst mistake of my life. I walked out of the venue and set about strolling down the long stretch of road outside, taking in all the vivid fractals that divided infinitely in every corner of my vision. I began to have the insight that reality is conscious and interconnected on all levels, that this is what all the world's religions and shamanistic practices have been pointing towards, but the truth is hidden after being distilled by the ego. But despite this, it is all part of infinite consciousness' intelligence and desire to live through itself in every form possible by dreaming up infinite realities, all in a bid to experience and love itself in every imaginable way, even in the most unbelievably twisted manners we wouldn't egoically perceive as being 'good'. My whole life experiences and interests began to merge with my environment, I saw the refracting triangle off the dark side of the moon extending deep into the abyss of visuals deep beneath my feet and noticing imagery similar to the movie, the end of evangelion, which initially inspired my spiritual pursuits when I was younger. I felt like I was creating my own sandbox video game through my senses, this was coupled with visions of cars and people that began to move in loops back to their previous point over and over again. I tried talking to several people but to no avail, they all spoke back to me in tongues or seemed to be my own consciousness talking through them asking me about where my life and all the things I'd done, that was particularly weird. At some point during this mind-bending journey, I decided to rid myself of all my clothes, losing my wallet and glasses in the process. I had nothing to hide, for the first time in my life I truly let go. In this dream-like timeless reality I vividly heard all my mates' voices beckoning me back to Antwerp, so I started to sprint. Along the way, a man ran towards me and ended up punching me square in the face, disorienting me big time but also jolting me with adrenaline enough to run across the road, parkouring over cars and walls like some mirror's edge shit. This happened for what felt like ages, I had some disturbing thoughts that made me start running towards a bus to return back to a stage of formlessness, but thankfully I decided against it. It felt like my ego was so far gone, that death wouldn't be any different from what I was experiencing now. I also remember going into a shop naked and drinking a can of fanta grape whilst being chased around the shop by the cashier. Then after that, I ran into a shisha bar and had a puff on one before darting back out. I had no sense of 'other' and did all this gleefully, completely unaware of how many people I had been exposed to. I was surprised but relieved not to hear about it on the news or anything, that would have been dire. After running around the curry mile naked as fuck for a while, I was initially apprehended by this person I assumed to be a beefy old man, but was actually just a masculine appearing police woman, who attempted to grapple me to the ground. I imagined I was getting abducted and this 'guy' was gonna take me back to his and rape me. I managed to slip out of her grasp, wriggling around furiously like a fish out of water. I escaped for a short while and hid in a car park, squatting and zoning out but noticing my ego slowly solidifying again. I looked up and was cuffed by several police officers and taken to the hospital in the back of a van. I was spoken to by the driver about what I'd been doing to which I answered in bipolar sentences that made no sense and claimed to be on more drugs than I was on. Like a miracle almost, the officers didn't charge me with causing any mishap, but treated me like utter shit instead at the hospital, throwing me around this painfully dull looking room where I sat and slowly began to root myself back in reality. They were also doing this weird thing from before, when it felt like I was having conversations with myself through them about people they would never know that, analysing my relationships verbally to me, I'd met and things about me only I had experiences of. I boil this down to me becoming so hyper consciousness from the LSD that I became aware that I am this infinite consciousness dreaming the self and reality up. I was an atheist up until this point, subsequent ego deaths have only continued to directly verify how nothing can be infinite and how I am everything and nothing all at once, as is everyone, which I am, big time paradox but consciousness is infinite so of course it would contain every strange loop and contradiction you can think of, there is not just the sensory 3 dimensional way of experiencing reality. It turned out I'd ripped a lot of the skin from my feet from running around on tarmac and pavements for however long I was naked for, I also had a phat black eye from the guy who assaulted me. I couldn't walk at all and realised that I was absolutely not able to go on holiday the day after. "Fucked it" I thought to myself. My parents ended up getting a knock on their door by the police who informed them of the goings on, they had to come pick me up from the infirmary in the morning. They were livid but mostly happy that I was alive and were especially sympathetic that I had been through such hell. Obviously, I didn't end up going on holiday and instead was on crutches and basically bed bound for 2 weeks due to my messed up feet. Miraculously, these two women who were wired out their heads on mdma got hit by my phone when I lobbed it in the rave, they ended up leaving me a video on my snapchat for me to later discover after my mate who's flat we were initially at, kindly went through to retrieve it for me and gave it back a few days later after he came up and visited. To this day, this remains my most intense psychedelic experience and became the foundation for what would become a beautiful understanding of consciousness via thorough research, it also helped me and my friends understand what we are really dealing with when we take psychs and we now use them in a far more productive manner, many of us having radically evolved our consciousness and dampened our ego's in order to become more loving and understanding beings. If this experience told me anything, it's that reality = a dream, most of us are so deeply entrenched in it that we take it for reality, these people are locked in the materialistic mindview. But for those of us with the desire for an open mind, the curiosity propels us to dissect and understand the mechanics of reality through psychedelics, meditation etc. You can either live in the dream and be aware of it, utilising this to your advantage in a variety of ways, or be completely lost in rampant ego bullshit. Either way, in the end, none of it matters, we all return to nothing. Peace out.