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Let me share with you a prayer. Hope it helps: Dear God, I come before You to lay my panic and anxiety at Your feet. When I’m crushed by my fears and worries, remind me of Your power and Your grace. Fill me with Your peace as I trust in You and You alone. I know I can’t beat this on my own, but I also know that I have You, Lord, and You have already paid the ultimate price to carry my burdens. For this I thank you, Amen.

I tried that too. It's quite helpful in identifying what's in the subconscious. This is quite helpful. I think I'll include it in my limiting belief busting journal. Seems like you have done a lot into self-searching. Thank you for sharing!

Hey guys, I would like to know what you write in your journal? My journal consists of four parts: 1. Gratitude; 2. Small progress I make; 3. What I've learned; 4. The life I want (just one sentence). I'm also starting a separate limiting belief busting journal because they've been haunting me for years and need some serious digging. I found a lot of inspiration from the journal section in this forum too and I've just started a self-love journal there. I would like to hear general ideas about journals and how you feel about it. Thank you!

Small wins today: 1. Visualization in the morning: comfortable in my body. 2. Positive self talk: I have the mission of spreading love. 3. Praying: May my guilt turn toward the Truth, may Truth give way to Spirit-filled conviction, may conviction lead to appropriate repentance, and forgiveness wrapped in God's grace, and may the Lord bring about in me authentic transformation so that I may pursue living blamelessly before God and all for His glory. 4. Mirror work: I take 100% responsibility for my life. 5. Talking to my inner child: I want you to take me to explore as many experiences as possible. 6. Meditation: Let go and move on. 7. Yoga mild stretching: 5 min stretching before bedtime. 8. Expressing love to and receiving love from others: I shared the "Five Small Wins" technique in the ED group. My friend invited her boyfriend to join my Self-love Practice group. ---- Always choose the direction that benefits you. Always move away from things that do not benefit you.

I'm struggling with many aspects of my life, but I've had some successes in shifting some of my behaviors. For instance, I used to have social anxiety, overthinking about how other people think of me. I would play out dialogues or put imagined words into their mouths. Now when I find myself doing it again, I can let it go and center myself. I think the mind is like a dog. It needs to be trained with awareness. Writing down the qualities you want and don't want is a good start. But it's like telling a dog: "Sit!" without making association between the order and the behavior. Your mind is still running wild like a hyperactive dog. I'd like to share with you some of the techniques I tried and find helpful: 1. Visualization in the morning, 5 min. 2. Collecting words of wisdom. Words are very powerful mind-bending tools that only humans have. 3. Self-love meditation. Soften your mind hard-wired with negative stories and soak in the positive energy. 4. Mirror work. Eyes and mirrors are energy magnifiers. 5. Gratitude journal. Also underrated tool for softening the mind. 6. Parts work. Let different parts inside of you speak up as if you are holding a meeting among conflicting selves. Once they are heard, they won't drain your energy from within. You won't notice much change day to day. But in the long run, you'll grow into a very different person from one aspect to another. Your description sounds very much like the parts work I do. The first time I tried it, my inner child took over my body. I cried and talked like a child and said a lot of things that I only ruminated in my mind. It was the first time I heard her say it out loud. I used to snack for distressing. After that parts work session, the craving was gone. It was like waving a magic wand. It was a feeling I never had before. My inner child has her own independent personality. I can't control what she thinks and what she says. And I realize there are many personalities inside me. I need to bring them into total awareness. Otherwise, they'll be fighting for the driver's seat and run my life into the ground.

You have so many thoughts bottled up. I suggest you can journal your thought, however tangled, not for the sake of analyzing or reasoning, simply for the sake of letting it out. I'm very good at rumination too. I now let my inner child babble for a while every day to let off the steam. These thoughts don't have to be comprehended. They just need to be heard. What a beautiful way of describing meditation!

Small wins today: 1. Visualization in the morning: A light and strong body. A purposeful career. 2. Positive self talk: I'm just a very loving person, especially when I realize that those abusive words are not true. 3. Praying: Heavenly Father, Thank you for revealing to me that I am imprisoning myself by not seeing the value and worth in your creation of me. Forgive me, Lord, for living in such a way that caused me to place more importance on the opinion of others and myself. I have doubted my ability and held myself back from being the person you desire me to be. I am under the bondage of this doubt and pray that you would release me and give me victory over it. It has robbed me of peace and joy in my life and has prevented me from living life to the fullest as a child of yours. Help me to have compassion towards myself and to see that what I perceive as weaknesses, are, in fact, blessings. May I use those blessings to help others who may also be held down by the same untruth that I have been under. Lord, help me to see myself through your eyes and to see the beauty and person as a whole that you have created. You don’t make mistakes, Lord. Please help me to value myself over anything of this world, whether it be what others think, or earthly possessions. I don’t want to live up to what I think people expect of me; I want to live up to what you desire me to be. Give me the strength to overcome and to see that I am valued. Help me to accept who I am and to have confidence in my identity through you. I pray these things in Jesus’ name, Amen. 4. Mirror work: I am beautiful. I love myself. 5. Talking to my inner child: I want beautiful dresses. I want friends. I want you to stand firmly on my side. 6. Meditation: "I am enough" meditation, talking to myself with hands over my heart. 7. Yoga mild stretching: Done. 8. Expressing love to and receiving love from others: I responded to a friend in stress in a compassionate and loving way. I see how a girl suffer from eating disorder, high blood fat, pancreas inflammation, and insomnia. I encouraged her to start a food diary to record changes day to day. ---- Every giant accomplishment is made of very small steps, and to take them one at a time like this is not weak, but precise. Thank you for your encouragement!

I always have to remind myself of it. I get it for now and then soon I get tangled in my stories. I think growth happens as I gently pull myself back again and again from stories to awareness. Take a step back into the awareness and watch myself suffer. In that moment, the degree to which I identify with my suffering drops instantly. My ego creates a story and she wants to share it with everyone. She gets so upset if others just don't get it. That's a mental prison I stayed in for the most part of my life so far. But I still think it's important to listen to her and be completely aware of her rather than run away from her. Otherwise I'll just meet her on the other end. Meditation of love and compassion helps a lot. It generates peace from within.

Small wins today: 1. Visualization in the morning: done 2. Positive self talk: I wasn't overthinking about people's reactions. I remained quite positive throughout the day. And people were so friendly. 3. Praying: Self love praying 4. Mirror work: done 5. Talking to my inner child: When time's hard, it's particularly more important to connect with myself and sooth myself. 6. Meditation: Done. Compassion. Unconditional love. Worry and fear free for 10min. 7. Yoga mild stretching: Done. 8. Expressing love to and receiving love from others: Expressed my love to a friend. She sent love back.

This is a new perspective that I've never explored. Thanks!

You're welcome. I have been doing it on and off with different therapists. I can't find one that I truly feel safe to relate to. It's maybe a reflection of my own relationships. So I've decided it's not for me. But your said that you feel the therapy can lead to good results. So apparently it suits you. Wish you all the best!

Yes, I agree. The forum is Leo's forum, not everybody's forum. It's like he has decided to set up a get-together in his garden to invite people who are interested in his research to congregate and communicate. He has written down the rules and the range of topics and put it in front of the garden. He has the right to change them according to his evaluation of how this get-together aligns with his purpose. People who don't like them can raise their opinions to him. If he decides such opinions don't contribute best to his purpose, he doesn't have to change. People come and go freely. They can go and find other gardens where the rules and topics best suit them and save time for both sides. I run my own small forum too. I have a particular vision of what to discuss, the atmosphere, the size, the way people talk, etc. This picture won't be exactly the same with every member's vision of the forum, and sometimes quite the opposite. It's impossible to explain to everyone whose vision of the forum is quite different from mine. They can choose to stay or leave and that's perfectly okay. I extend my appreciation to Leo and the moderators' effort in keeping this forum running and upgrading the standards. Thank you for your effort in responding to different views. I can't imagine how much patience it requires to do it voluntarily on your own time.

I'm solidifying a sleep routine to ensure high quality sleep. I have a few things on the list, such as stretching, meditation, soothing music, journaling, etc. But I don't do them all and often I can't help carrying the phone to bed. What do you do to ensure a good night sleep?

Dear Tistepiste, Do I understand you right? It seems like one part of you is saying: "Your fear is false. You should bring yourself to the present moment, learn from the situation, and move on." Another part of you is saying: "Your fear is real. It's your inner child calling out for your attention and soothing. If you look away, it'll come back 10 times stronger." Both sounds right. You can hears tons of teachings from spiritual teachers supporting both sounds. It is indeed mind raveling. I'd like to share with you my own practice that I have experimented on myself. I usually pick a mantra. If the fear is strong, I say: "I'm here with you." or "Let me feel you fully." If the fear is not so strong, I say: "I accept it all." Or "Show me the lesson." Over and over and over again. I don't try to control my actions. Actions change as my frequencies change. Mantra has very high frequency. Plus, they are easy to do. Otherwise I easily chase the debating thoughts down through a rabbit hole. Moreover, I believe a daily routine of meditation is mandatory, even just one minute. It helps you to get more and more into the place of an "observer." I hope my observation can give you some different perspective. All the best!

Whenever I feel chasing my abusive thoughts down the rabbit hole, I visit this section of the forum for support. As I write these words, I'm extending compassion both to you and to myself. You are very poetic and sensitive. That's a talent you need to cherish. Many people are wired to believe that sensitivity is dramatic. That's why you find it hard to bring people into your reality. But your emotions will always find a way out. Drugs, sex, cutting, writing about it, poems, reaching out on this forum are all the ways you use to sooth yourself. I see you love words very much. May I suggest you incorporate more soothing words into your journal, even just for esthetic value? Words are very powerful but quite undervalued vehicle of emotions. You can actually alter the state of your mind by changing your words. Your dark side is very valuable. The abyss you are in can be a rich source for you to connect on a deep level with people, but only when it's wrapped in high consciousness and compassion. I have a file called "Words of Wisdom" and I throw in several wise quotes every day. My dark side is very slippery too. Reading these quotes every day gives me a pause that I can't do myself: "Hey, here's another perspective. Try it." Rumi's poems are very soothing. Perhaps you can put some of his words in your poem collection. Definitely a quote that I put in my "Words of Wisdom"!

Oh I saw this one on YT too. He seems quite levelheaded. But that's the discrepancy between rationality and shadow. The driving force is always hidden in the shadow.

What do you do after you take the antidepressant? The medicine only suppresses the syndrome so that you can leave the house to do things. But the real work is to look into yourself to identify the abusive voice that generates anxiety all the time.

What you resist persists. The resistance of going through the dark tunnel is prolonging it. It could be the change of the environment. It could be trauma from childhood. It could even be you are so sensitive that you are picking up vibes from other people. Whatever the cause, the way out is not to cure it but to look into the experience to see where it wants to take you to. Once you collect the gem, the experience will release itself. A technique I use whenever I'm in strong resistance is to say the mantra: "I accept it all." I don't understand it but I accept it all. My mind is contradicting me but I accept it all. Just repeat the mantra until the situation shows a turn. Follow the turn to eventually find the exit on the other side. You are an artist? Dark emotions can be a good resource for creativity. See it as a blessing and see what turns out. Wish you all the best!

Dear Happy Jay, I'm a Chinese and I don't know much about the psychotherapy in the US. But I have the impression that psycho therapists are so quick to prescribe medicine. Trauma needs to be released from the body. It's healthy to cry, kick, shriver, vomit, scream in a safe environment and then sooth yourself afterwards. If you use medicine to suppress the tension, they'll come back. I think the purpose of medicine is to ensure that one can perform basic social function. It can never cure the deeper cause. Personally I feel psycho analysis does very little for trauma releasing. Or to put it in another way, it costs way lot more and much longer than somatic approach for the same impact. I felt a bit relieved and listened to when I was talking to my therapist. But then I was just going around in circles telling my story over and over, and found myself slipping back to the old pattern in life. Here's a video that solidifies my doubt about psycho analysis. I encourage you to be open your mind and try a wide range approaches to find the one that truly resonates with you. Best wishes!

Michael Singer had the same question when he was in college, sitting on a sofa talking to friends. He wrote in his book Surrender Experiment about the experience. The mind is a thought-generating machine. The true self is the one watching it. The mind can go crazy. The true self won't. Take a back seat and observe the crazy mind. You'll see how ridiculous the mind can get and how dangerous it is to be pulled in all directions by it.

I love quotes too. I have a file called "Words of Wisdom." It's very powerful. Thank you for your contribution! These three are so revealing:

The blue-light filter app is pretty good. I stare at the screen too much. It protects my eyes. Meditation music with soothing voice is very helpful. I bought a device to track my sleep. I'd like to know my deep sleep hour. Mindful relaxing throughout the day is also helpful.

Making books my friend to build an independent thinking mind. I was very lonely and reclusive in my teenage years. Relationships scared me. I wish I had a spiritual garden that I could go to all by myself.

Cultivating various mini habits, such as reading two pages of books, writing a few lines, learning French and Spanish, sharing thoughts in my personal development chat group, workout a bit, sharing thought on actualized.org, etc. I find mini habits particularly helpful for making use of the fragmented time. It's like a mini project you keep to yourself.

I have a question for everybody. I started watching Leo’s videos many years ago. I also took the Life Purpose Course. But there was never any fundamental change. I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into my limiting beliefs. This year, things started to turn around. It felt like I hit so low that I was forced into facing my own demons (probably due to the loneliness brought by the coronavirus). This time, Leo’s videos truly strike a cord with me. The metaphysical parts, which I used to skip, were particularly mind-blowing. I deeply regret that I did not dig deeper into these materials. I remember Leo talked about the same thing. He said that in self-development, whenever people learn something, they often think why they haven’t learned it earlier. If so, they would have been far ahead already. He also said that “knowing it earlier” does not exist because even if you knew it, you would have brushed it away. But I just couldn’t help thinking if I had started the journey when I was younger, with more ease, more opportunities, more energy, more support and more possibilities. I call this a "Self-discovery Hangover." I believe such regrets are rooted in the fact that I want to run away from fears in the difficulties of rebuilding my life. I don’t want to go through the pain of change. I want to to have already happened so that I can enjoy the fruit by now. What are your “turning point” in self-development to start the hero’s journey of figuring out your purpose? How did you feel when you discovered that you could truly live an actualized life?