Lieseluke

Hey, I've been thinking about seeing a doctor for a while now because I may want to get some treatment for my scars that makes them less prominent and visible. I was wondering if any of you has experience in that field and if yes, what exact option did you go for? As far as I know there are different options like cold therapy, laser, etc. Just for context: I am talking about self-harm scars that came from cutting (past!). Some of them were stitched together but most of them I took care of myself. Also, my skin tends to not heal very fast and also produce too much scar tissue so some of the scars look not very smooth and rather big. So even though I have been self-harm free for about 1.5 years, some scars still look like they've not matured at all. At the moment I apply lotion and oil once to twice a day and try to massage them regularly. I'd also be glad about any further advice.

Oat-cocoa-lemon-balls Ingredients Oatflakes Cocoa powder Cinnamon Lemon zest Lemon juice Shredded coconut Butter Water Ground almonds Let the butter soften at room temperature for a while, then mix everything together (sorry that I don't have exact measures) and form little balls. Coat them in almonds (or whatever else you like) so that they don't stick together. Put into a box or on a plate and store them in the fridge until they have hardened. Make sure the lemon is organic since you are using the zest of it.

Well, with language it's always a fine line in terms of whether you get across what you really mean. If I were you, it might be worthwile to look into your langauge. As in examining what words you use/what you use them for (did that with the words around feeling and thinking myself a couple of weeks ago since I used them quite unconsciously and still do sometimes). Maybe it's just my opinion (or projection) but your use of language, i.g. "this pathetic world" does sound a little bit like bitching/complaining. Taking the risk for being labelled rude and unkind by you, I'd like to say that I hope you really know the difference yourself. I surely would be careful.

@Preety_India Lol okay. My bad then. Sorry. Not sure what you want with understanding then. Other people pouring out their hearts too? Telling you that they feel the same? Just saying that they get it?

@Preety_India I read your post, I am sorry that you feel so confused and not understood. Not sure whether you are familiar with David Deida's books or some of Carl Jung's work on marriage, anima and animus (can be applied to non-married couple relationships too) but I can definitely recommend these sources. Anyway, there are some things I would like to comment. Don't forget that this is your perspective. Not every woman necessarily feels like this. I am not trying to deny your preferences but there are enough women who will want a more masculine man to say that this is definitely not generally applicable to women. This reminds me a little bit about what Leo said in his video about male and female psychology: women want men who look masculine on the outside but think like their best female friend on the inside and men want women who look hot and sexy but think like their drink buddy on the inside. That is not how it works... Of course, this example is a little extreme and you can feel this attitude in various subdegrees but maybe you wanna think about it. Just some undeveloped thought/suggestion: how about you contemplate your wants and needs? Why do you need emotional security only because you want it all? And why do you need that ground to stand on? Maybe it feels like you have no control over who you are attracted to but I do think that as you grow mentally/mature/let go of old wounds, needs and get a more healthy self-image that you will not be attracted anymore to the same men than your younger/more inexperienced self was attracted to. Overall, please be kind and compassionate towards yourself. I can read from your post that you feel a lot of pain when it comes to relationship with men and I really hope that you can make happy and fulfilling experiences with men in the future. Also, I'm not where I want to be regarding my own mindset/attitude towards relationship so please just take this as some ideas/thought prompts instead of as some critique.

@Chew211 Lol, you make it sound as if usually the men did all of the household chores which in my experience is not the case But I have to admit that it also depends on the kind of chores. What about doing some of the chores that you know your partner hates when you see that they are really down or exhausted? Anyway, I do think that everyone likes to feel needed to some extent as long as it's not mere exploitation which I believe is not what you suggested. So finding ways how you can give your partner the feeling that they are needed and appreciated and noticed is probably a good idea.

@roopepa You mean kind of like sharing more of yourself by doing this? Can imagine that this is really cool, especially when you also share the reasons why some songs are so special to you. Maybe when they have some sort of story or memories attached to them.

Nice distinction! I did know about love languages and also put on my list that I wanna write about them and encourage people to find out theirs but I never thought about that the love language you like to give might be different from the one you like to receive the most. Although when together with a partner, I think it is actually nice and caring if you try to give to them in their favourite (receiving) love language.

So seems like one important aspect is that true giving is not done because you want to get something in return/expect something or want a certain outcome but for the sake of love simply. What do you think?

@peanutspathtotruth I might have experienced fractions of that feeling though I am still far away from being connected to that source all the time. I think I know what you mean when you say that it is also important where it is coming from. Kinda relates to authenticity and genuineness @Recursoinominado @peqkno

@Barbara thanks for reminding me that it does not have to be something that is usually considered comfortable in the moment. Like yea, I know brutal honesty is hard, it might sting for a moment/or a while but I have to consider the long-term effects too

@SgtPepper Agreed. Siddharta is great! I also loved "Glass Bead Game" by Hermann Hesse

I am collecting lots of different material from different books, videos, podcasts etc. and contemplating about how to create fulfilling relationships because eventually I want to put it all together and create some sort of a workbook for people. Anyway, since at the moment I am diving into the topic of giving and receiving in relationships, I am interested in your main/favourite ways of giving. I do not strictly mean material gifts (even though they can be a valid form of giving too) but more behaviour/thoughts/way of communication/etc. Since balance is also very important, what are some of the signs that would tell you that you are either giving too little or too much? And why do you think so? Let's brainstorm if you like

@Preety_India Do you think your relationship with yourself is also a joke? What is a relationship to you? And what makes one imperfection bigger than the other? After all, what you consider imperfect, is perfectly relative. And perfection itself is too. What is it that you are pointing at other than a sense of separateness?

I have currently read "Dear Lover - A Woman's Guide to Men, Sex and Love's deepest Bliss" by David Deida and I am now reading "The way of the superior man" (also by David Deida) and I am quite confused at the moment because the topic of how I see myself and whether I feel (want to feel) more feminine or masculine has been challenging for me for some time now. My main confusion regards the following questions: Can I differentiate between a masculine and feminine approach to finding a life purpose? Is the mere striving for life purpose rather a masculine or feminine phenomenon? (David Deida writes that for someone with a masculine essence it is most important to find and work towards their own unique purpose or mission while for people with a stronger feminine essence the flow of love is most important) How can I combine embodying femininity (and valuing highly love and a romantic relationship) and still working towards a life purpose, towards something greater (with masculine direction)? How do I find out whether my core essence is rather masculine or feminine? Do they have certain "feels" to them? If looking at low-conscious and high-conscious people: How would the expression of feminine energy differ between women of different development? How can I healthily express more feminine energy? If you have any advice or personal insights, they would be much appreciated.