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People what you are doing? Why are you spending time with abusive partner? Why are you tolerating abuse and hope for change? It wont change believe me. As a gesundheit said you have some issues with your self esteem otherwise you wouldnt let someone treate you like a shit. I am a man and also guilty of that, i fall for girls who doesnt give a shit about me and treat me poor.

Lots of abusive people are actually people who have been abused themselvs (emotionally, physically) There is one girl (friend of mine) which i know for long time, when i met that girl back in 2015 she was super cute and good girl. She got in a realationship with a guy(which she claim was very abusive) . Their realationship ended in the beggining of this year. Right now this cute, good girl which i knew is total bitch and treat guys pretty poor. I just cannot reconize her, she is totatly different person.

I might need that

What to do if a investet 9 years in certaing thought and i cant let it go its very strong and rigid?

I am usally very needy with girls, ive been trying to hide my needininess and it doesnt fucking works. I have issues with that and i havent figured out what exactly is behind this neediness in the first place..

IOww man, that striked me really hard..

You are born introvert you dont get introvert because of depression and also introvert doesnt nesecerely mean shy but lots of introvers are shy. There are lots of sucesufull people out there who are introvers so thats not exuces. Usually introvers are deep thinkers so dont underestimate them.

Tell me more about that. I have OCD but thats a first time i am hearing that. What do you mean by that?

What are your OCD sympthoms?

When we are afraid to lose someone we go into scarcity mindset and start becoming very needy but hey i am not blaming you because if i were on your position i might be feeling the same. I think that everything boils down to scarcity and abundance..

Start going to the gym and track your calories. There are lots of calories calculator in the internet, and you will have to set your goal which will be gaining weight or (bulking)

I think alpha and beta are more likely about your behavior. I have physical appearance of an aplha and mindset of a beta. Yeah my external appearances might seem intimidating but i am emotionally weak.

Girls have guys friends and yeah if she is cute they are probably into her but if she sees them as a friends there is no danger involved..

Ive been struggling to let go of a girl for 4 months. The thought that she doesnt like me or dont want to be around me its very painful i cannot stop blaming myself for that. I havent slept with this girl we just kissed once. I want to forger her or at leats stop looking at her in that way. I cannot forget her because i see her very often our town is not big and we have mutual friends aswell so its not possible to completely forget her. As i said the most painful thing is that she doesnt give a shit about me and she doesnt like me and i just cant stop thinking about her every fucking day... Of course nobody is obligated to like or to love you but i have never experiance so intense pain with a girl...

I cant stop see her because because even if i dont want as i said our town is small and we have mutual friends. I dont beat myself up that i love her but that she doesnt love me(because i might be not handsome enough in her eyes and so on and so forth) When i start forgeting her either i see her or she react on my story in social medial. Yes i have this stupid hopes about her that one day smth might happen ...

In know that attraction is survavival mechanism but i just cant imagine her running after guy in my eyes she doesnt have to run after anybody but i know that i am deluded.

What would be the example of self love exercises, techniques etc.?

Thank you for your comments, it really make me feel better. yeah its very unhealthy and destructive, it feels like her opinion about me its to only that matter to me..

You are really interesting young man i will be glad hear from you whatever you decide.

You know what? i feel the same way its like i have a curse that i created to myself..

So i am really confused.. You are already enlithtment and thats why you want to get out of the system or you pursue awakening?

Is it really so scary to realize ones? I have never experianced it so i have no idea what would it be like

Its sounds as though Zen master is saying that

Thank you for your insights man

I agree... When i got my first job my boss was complete asshole he was shaming and ebarasing me in front of others if i make even a little mistake. I thought that all the bosess in any job are like that but i was wrong.