yetineti

The reality is that we’re discussing things we can’t possibly know for sure, and it doesn’t really help anything. We have no way of knowing if someone like this is insane, calculating, naive, radicalized, or something else entirely—it’s too soon to tell, if we ever can. Speculating about these things or theorizing about how we could have prevented it—whether by addressing bullying, mental health, or something else—often feels like a detached, oversimplified analysis. To those who are directly affected by these tragedies, the path forward is often painfully clear, and this kind of distant commentary can seem hollow and unproductive.

Just because something makes sense, doesn’t mean it will help people make sense. What you said is correct Leo. Did not bother me, personally. I understood. But as you can see, you’re confusing people. When you try to say why someone committed an atrocity like this, it is hard not to imply things, even unintentionally. It becomes, unhelpful.

@Leo Gura I’m not saying I don’t understand why the shooter did it or that we shouldn’t address the underlying reasons like bullying or isolation. You are explaining the obvious. But the way you’re phrasing this shifts the responsibility entirely away from the shooter and onto others in a way that seems more offhand than serious. Comments like ‘guys like you’ or focusing on paying attention to a manifesto don’t add much—they come off as ineffective and distract from the real cause of the harm. If we’re going to have a meaningful conversation, it has to focus on accountability and constructive solutions, not these kinds of vague, profound-sounding remarks.

hey - hey there - buy whatever you want from the store and eat it.

@EdgeGod900 I was. The comment to you was in regard to your locker room talk comment. I understand Leo was not trying to bully and that you probably were not even offended. But it is clear neither of you have any connection to this and are just having fun talking.

@EdgeGod900 It is simply perverted to joke around the topic at hand. We have all done it though. Your joking implies one of two simple options: A) You have no connection to this shooting and should probably grow up a bit or B) You are connected and this is your way of coping.

@Leo Gura I hope you find a way to reframe however it is you’re trying to make your points. I know the place this shooting happened. The idea that ‘if I’ - whatever - there will be less shootings? Ha - what a rude joke Leo. Maybe, you should take a note from yourself. If the one thing they all have in common is being bullied, why haven’t you considered the way you phrase things yet? I have heard you talk about it before. Maybe, one man’s bully is another man’s jokester. Catch yourself using Truth to hurt others. And stop it. If it’s not productive, it’s not productive. Love you man, thanks for everything. ❤️ Lets get everyone to Stage Green; they aren’t ready for you.

Unhelpful

A classic thread. Meat Eaters run their mouthes without a thought and Vegans moralize the majority on their high horse. Yippee!

😂

You can zoom into anything infinity, from a physical, visual level. You may just need tools. What you can see without tools, such as a microscope, is just human quality vision. ’Human quality vision’ is inherent to being a human. If we had different vision we would be something different or similar. Our vision is calibrated to the median focal length best suited for our survival needs (assuming you don’t have glasses). So while we can zoom in or out, with tools, it is simply not practical most of the time. When it is, we often come across more riddles and questions about what we’re looking at and many times it is unclear if anything will be worth its time discovering. We could operate in a world with more depth so to speak. Perhaps birds already have more of this and some animals have less. Or for instance some animals are colorblind whereas we can see color. These are all just different dimensions to difference experiences. If we were to hear everything at once, see everything at once, feel, etc. We’d be God. But you’re you and I’m me. We see what we see.

Hi there Leo’s recent blog post blew my mind. I have been scraping at similar words myself but was no match for his clarity. I also would like to ponder the poles/inflection point of the paradox. (Leo has a great video where he goes over dozens of inflection points. One of my favorites.) Anyhow - this idea of insiders and outsiders. What are some definitive inflection points? But first, what are some more characteristics? Insider Characteristics: -Could’ve chosen to be an insider or circumstances could’ve funneled the bias -Firsthand knowledge -Bias towards circumstance (situational attributions) -Apart of something in-particular Outsider Characteristics: -Could’ve chosen to be an outsider or circumstances could’ve funneled the bias -Second hand knowledge, often closely tied to firsthand experience interpretations -Bias towards internal factors such as personality, character or inherent traits (dispositional attributions) -Independent — These may not be perfect characteristics but examples of what I mean to take notice to. — Lastly, where are the inflection points? Also, most here are presumably outsiders. How are we getting by? As someone relatively young, that’s mainly been an outsider, I’ve had a lot of moments of imposter syndrome. The outsider knowledge + a little wit and encouragement and one can really seem like they know more than they do. But, as Leo mentioned, insider knowledge of any thing grandiose involves heavy investment of time, among obvious other risks. I’d imagine an insider feels the same way about pausing their life and stepping out of it. Inflection points? Comments? Ideas?

@Emerald It’s not that what you’re saying is wrong, it’s just not the whole picture. Everything you’ve said is correct. But when the biological differences in a topic like this get focused on, without acknowledgment of the rest of the factors, people start to subconsciously poke at you to see how flexible you’re willing to think about it. ‘Half truths’ like “estrogen makes you horny too” or “hormones do not act independently.” It’s like if I told you you’re only being emotional because you’re on your period. I’d be ignoring your feelings and everything else that led you to this emotional point. That’s how men feel when you boil down our sexual patterns to simply biological. Men have been over-sexualized as much as women. Just in different ways. And nobody talks about it. Hollywood - this idea that every strong man gets laid all the time - makes a lot of money, etc. The pressure men feel. The ideas they think are correct that go against their very being. Like a girl watching princesses growing up thinking they need to be saved. We think we need to save you. We don’t. We need to take care of ourselves. We don’t. It’s ‘not our fault’ as much as none of this is yours. On top of this men ‘aren’t allowed to talk emotionally.’ You saw in this very conversation @Spiritual Warfare tried to make me look weak for admitting I had emotions, haha. There are a lot of environmental factors that act as a catalyst to obvious biological factors, such as testosterone. Our whole society has been co-opted into exploiting our biology. It only makes sense that sex is too. And it affects men and women. So, in short, we agree we you. We’re just trying to offer additional perspective. Men and women are struggling and there’s not a whole lot of ‘over the counter solutions’ to the biology problem. But talking helps. Sex therapy helps. Figuring out trauma and thought patterns from parents getting divorce or a dysfunctional family helps. Diet helps. There’s just so many factors. I am a pig as a man but not a biological one. It’s much deeper than that. I was trained, by everyone. I hope this wasn’t obnoxious and I really do hope you know I know women do not have it easier. Also I know you know it’s not just all biological. You seem much smarter than that. We’ve just been dancing around an idea I hope I have now expressed.

Environment can also affect hormones. Hormones do not exist or act independently.

@Yimpa Exactly friend! 😂

@Princess Arabia Interesting. Honestly I don’t know where the idea that makeup was for men came from. But I understand what you’re saying. Makeup has become the norm, it seems. It’d be like saying ‘brush your teeth to look sexy.’ Nobody brushes their teeth to look sexy. We just brush our teeth and that happens to make us ‘sexier.’ I guess the difference could be that while makeup is just something that happens, attraction aside, it does seem to be quite altering. Not as much as implants or something but you know what I mean? When I say I’m not attracted to it - my personality loves simplicity. Make up doesn’t ‘have to be done’ and a certain part of my brain rationalizes it away as bad for the skin, not needed, etc. To be fair, I do this too much, admittedly. Makeup is attractive to me as well. It’s when it wipes off on my sweatshirt or comes off the ‘disappointment’ sets in. I would’ve much rather just had the ‘natural’ woman. Maybe I am being picky. I know we’re all allowed preferences but I wonder if this is sensible of me or not. I just think a lot of men feel immense pressure and want to stop ‘playing the game’ entirely. Men and women can ‘level up’ but there’s not too many things a man can do as consistently and as effectively as putting on makeup. Or other things, like getting nails done, which more women seem to do than men. There’s this idea going around that porn has increased men’s expectations immensely - true. But makeup then almost does the opposite of that. Because men also don’t realize how good they could have it as every girl seems so far out of our league, as makeup and the other things mentioned enable any girl with some extra money to look like a super model.

@Leo Gura I agree with the others. I check the blog almost everyday. At least once a week. Love it - love it. I enjoy the variety. From something educational, to interesting or funny. There really is a little bit of everything with it. I guess thats just us liking you as a person though!

@Princess Arabia So, might I ask, do you think more women wear make up because they personally enjoy the way it makes them look or because they’ll attract more men? Or both equally? Because I feel like the majority of women do wear makeup. Maybe there’s some trend where some percentage of women wear less make up once in a relationship - I don’t know. This could explain a category of people not engaging because of misconceptions of what is expected of them. I think something similar can be said for men that believe they need a great paying job to even speak to women.

@Princess Arabia I appreciate that. He is just being obnoxious like I was not to long ago. It’s all good though.

@Princess Arabia You have helped me reimagine this. You're right, it's not inauthentic if it's what makes the girl feel good. What I should have said is, I cannot relate. I am... ...very comfortable with the way I look. I couldn't imagine really changing much. I'm not super attractive, I just don't really feel the need for any social norms or anything, for better or worse. For instance, I just grew out my hair for like two, three years. Everyone said I looked great. I was getting a lot of attention. And it got hot out. And I just shaved it all. Because I was sick of brushing it as well. Everyone was mad at me. I forgot I cut my hair the day after I cut it. Other than the fact that I was just more comfortable. I've been wearing the same pack of Hanes t-shirts, plain, for years. I'm clean, but I don't have the need for fashion anymore. I used to buy outfits. I bought good outfits. I used to get complimented on my fashion. All I care about is people. And their personalities now. So when a girl puts on makeup, or does something to impress a guy, whatever it is, I guess I just feel like most people are trying way too hard. And I don't relate with that. Nobody's being inauthentic. Like I said, I was wrong about that. For the record, I get uncomfortable when I see men playing social games and stuff as well. It might not be in the form of makeup or fashion, but trust me, I know the ways men talk and the way men lie, and it's just a different side of the same coin. I just can't relate because I'm not attracted to men, so it's not as personal of an occurrence or observation for me.

@Spiritual Warfare Actually I criticized you, there was public agreement from others and now you’re whining and trying to get an upper hand on me or something. No clue what you’re saying really. If you’re done with the insults, you started a good conversation and I’d like to resume that. Listen, I was being obnoxious before. I get it.

@Spiritual Warfare Emotions aren’t a sign of weakness; they’re what makes us human. But if it makes you uncomfortable, maybe you're the one who should step out.