yetineti

Hi there, maybe just looking for words of encouragement, not sure. Tips are cools too. I have had a small number of friends and low social activity for the past 5 years. I am 20 and most of that time was spent smoking weed, listening to Leo and cracking the universe. Time to move on, when you get the message hang up. So I’m with this girl, right? All great, casual, neither of us are really looking for anything but I’m debating where I should take it because I know I have ‘leverage,’ she’s attracted to me. Nonethless, idk what to say when I have been alone for so long, mainly. Tbh it doesn’t really bother me- pretty much anything interests me but I never feel like I’m the one engaging. It feels like they’re more uncomfortable with the silence than me. I am not sure if due to my lack of experience with women if I have not just found someone who isn’t bothered by my silence or if I could just use some tips to not make it sound like an interview and be more loose. I am looser than I was but still haven’t restored that small talk ability I had before I started this journey. Much love

So I know I need to take notes, I get it- I have a few but not much really. The bright side of not taking notes is everything I know I know I know. So from avid not noter, maybe try to focus on raw understanding and allow your notes to loosely refresh you while retaining key data/points.

Also struggling with the finite aspect of interpersonal Love. I always thought it somewhat rude to break down the things you want from a woman, or anyone for that matter- but I now realize it’s ruder not to have clear expectations, boundaries, etc. I ought weigh what I’m willing to sacrifice and prioritize in a relationship. I also just need more experience in the sense that maybe some things aren’t my choice even.

@SonataAllegro Love your take on this. I should lean into the silence. Not always, obviously, but I never looked at it that way. It could ended up being a really comfortable thing with women; silence. Sounded better in my head lol. Also, yes, definitely able to see a more grounded way now but still working on the action. Thus your description of not coming at it from the same place anymore. Working on that.

@Raze Thank you, just need to keep admiring to myself where I’m at.

Just comes done to the person. the spectrum: NO ANAL WHY WOULD I? Thats gross never done it id maybe try it id try it im going to try it ive tried it ive done it a few times ive done it a lot I LOVE ANAL ————— A girl could say any of those things about anal. Just depends on the person.

When you’re allowed to say whatever you want, groups will start to agree about what should and should not be said. We don’t have freedom of speech because we wanted to say everything. We have freedom of speech to figure out what we do not want to say. It sounds backwards but freedom of speech is supposed to guide us towards a more conscious way of speaking- not one where we little just say anything- because we can. We all know where that gets us. Well, not all, that’s the problem here anyways, isn’t it? Some actually think that because we can say anything, we should and thats how we exercise our rights. But we need to acknowledge that none of us like to hear everything and at the very least there needs to be a good contextual foundation for the words.

If you don’t think it will cause legal trouble, 100% yes. Be able to discuss sourcing, methods, precautions, etc. would be so beneficial.

@Preety_India The reasons. Most likely, the general, nonspecific, forgiving reason are not the real ones in this scenario. If you’re thinking things like ‘they’re a person too, that’s why they did it, selfishness, etc’ Thats a good starting place but not good enough to forgive them in a way that isn’t Stockholm syndrome. For that you’d need to suffer a little, controllably, and figure out really why?

That’s awesome! Keep doing nothing, if it works.

Trust me https://www.altrarunning.com/ They don’t have to be running shoes. I wear them inside too, as slippers, despite the look. Read up on them a bit; their big things are the open toe box and neutral/level base.

Ants in my eyes Johnson!!!!!! One of the best!!!

@Carl-Richard if they get bad enough, you can go get them drained. Otherwise, steamy showers, vitamin C, etc. standard cold stuff.

@thisintegrated This is just naive. Pretty sure the authors of spiral dynamics are stage blue. So ‘blue teaching these yellow concepts is just dumb’ is just dumb. Also yellow thinks can make shitty videos too. Check out some of Leo’s work a few years ago

@thisintegrated You’re being very naive. Spiral dynamics was written by people at stage blue. Certainly not yellow or turquoise.

Ignoring the simple preferences people may have for their lifestyle, there are probably more kids and people in third world countries on this forum than we may think. Meaning, some of us simply haven’t been given the spotlight yet. That’s not a victim complex, that can be true. Also, again, many of us here are happy with a fork in our eye Who cares about money? What have you been doing? Haven’t you learned anything?! Just kidding Seriously though, to each their own life. We didn’t come here to compete or contrast metrics of character. Most of us came here for Truth and you don’t have to be a billionaire playboy to figure Truth out or talk about it. In fact, it might slow you down haha

Fair enough.

I’m glad you’re cooking I just moved out and I started back up myself, fun, tasty, and sometimes healthy. Im glad it seems you’re doing the basics too. Sometimes the basics feel that way so we can get them over with and dream a little. Dream a little. If you’re taking care of yourself and just feel a dread, you must still have some extra time to yourself if you’re cooking, eating, etc. Try things, with or without people. Whatever, just dream. We love you.

Good and Evil are relative. Assuming you are a good person, stay that way. But nothing is saying you are but you. Good can be evil and evil can be good. One thing, good for me, could be bad for you. Vice versa. The relative game of ‘Good vs. Evil’ is senseless though. It is better to focus on your ability to focus. Your ability to surrender to whatever happens. If you understand God, non duality, etc. You’ll see why everything from Gods perspective is good and why it can not be this why for you without suffering. It could also feel sick, nasty and outright wrong. This might be where some of your confusion comes from. You could be trying to take on Gods perspective too fast. Im sure you’re a nice person, but it is hard for any of us to surrender to seemly injustice atrocities of the world in the name of wisdom and Gods love. Or however you want to look at it. Instead of worrying about what good and evil are maybe it’d be more practical to first focus on what you think is good and evil. Have you felt evil? or Good? What remains the same out of those experiences? Any differences? In physics there is a saying ‘there is no such thing as cold, only lack of heat.’ Heat is just the moving of particles, no movement, no heat. But it’s really not cold just less hot. I like to say, and I don’t know if I made this up or Leo or someone said it but: ‘There is no such thing as hate, only lack of Love’ I think it fills in the gaps.

Just some I’ve gathered the past couple years, not much. Just the ones that stick with me. The hashtags are for search function

Learn to work with bpd, like anything else you’ll be okay. I work with a girl with bpd, been to scared to ask her out for months. Ive seen her have some ‘episodes’ but I’m pretty good with handling peoples emotions. Doesn’t bother much at all. She’s smart, and cute as hell.

@Leo Gura The problem with an appeals board is the delay. Some of the stories ‘moderated’ have been pretty ‘timely.’ Over all though, perhaps we need more moderation than Musk may be bringing but less than what we have. Uncertain; we’ll see what Musk does.

Thinking effects almost, if not, everything we do. So we must, at least, agree it is important. Now, if we imagine trying to develop any skill, you need to practice it enough to get good but not too much that you get caught up in it. Thinking is the same way. You will not get better at thinking if you do it all of the time and it is not an easy thing to stop or untangle for the rest of your life. So you must take breaks and even learn how to do so better. Via no mind. It is not so much that we wish to think or not, it is just that we’d like to have the option to go from hard thinking to nothing

@RokazuluYou misunderstood what I was calling stupid. But I misunderstood you as well. Nonethless, yeah, lol, ideally. But also, this forum was almost specifically designed to help people who do not realize they are their own authority and the seriousness of these topics requires moderating.

@Rokazulu It is insultingly stupid to ask whether authority has any positive consequences. Also, are we having an absolute conversation here or one relative to this forum? Because if you’re going to propose this forum has less authority and then, at the same time, say you’re your own authority - you’re arguing against yourself. Not saying authority shouldn’t be wielded careful. Power needs responsibly. But ride that line then. Don't flip flop.