ZenSwift

I've often viewed the journey of awakening as a steady process of loosing one's mind in a controlled way. (Controlled as much as you can) (I'm not awake yet btw)

Leo you've taught me that Reality is a challenge worth loving

@Mihael Keehl I checked out your website. Very appealing thing you've got running over there. Might just have to carve out a couple months to fuck off and write my book surrounded by some chill people.

Previous Trip Report: > Dear reader; > The trip report is mostly written while I am high. > Text with the chevron “>” in front of it is text I put together as a comment after the fact. > I edited out lots of jibber jabber in an attempt to just leave in writings that may spark some insights for you. > Things that I found particularly impactful will be in bold, underlined, or my top insights/musings will be in a different colour. Like Green. > So If you want to skim through, focus on the bolds, underlines, and most importantly, the Green. Comments about Mushroom Trip Report 027: I was depressed, jobless, living in my apartment, endlessly distracted with YouTube, TV shows, etc. Staying at home not being active in society, etc. I could barely focus on any projects I had, partly also because I don’t think I have that self-starter entrepreneur personality. Mushroom Trip 027 - 7 grams of Golden Teachers with the Dirt Jan 18th 2024 7 grams, lemon Tekked. Drank the tea WITH the powder. Literally drinking a cup of dirt. Yes it’s gross, But I’ll happily thug it out for those consciousness gains. Strain: Golden Teachers Taken at 3:03pm Intention: What is best for me right now? Next time 5g will be plenty! Work out every day. A human degrades from a lack of challenge and a lack of work. Life is not about having a purpose. It's about finding where you fit. Perhaps Cal Newport is right with what he said in his book: “So Good they can’t ignore you”. If you can find autonomy, competence, and relatedness, you’ve got it pretty good. I need to awaken. I need to be pursuing the challenge of life alongside a full-fledged pursuit of Awakening. Own your life. “Choose to challenge yourself in life precisely because it is unnecessary” - Leo You are born alone and will die alone. I have to choose to not be a self to create. Here’s a thought that came to me: Jesus was loving his crucifixion as much as he could. Are you going to own your dream? > Taking responsibility in life is owning the dream that you're in and choosing to work with it and not against it. Taking full responsibility over it, as a personal challenge to love and accept it all, owning it as yourself as if you are the one responsible for it. As if you are responsible for the dream that you find yourself in. The dream is going to go on without you, are you going to choose to participate? God invented being born to help me appreciate the creation power of God. This is a stepping stone to help me love my own crucifixion. Because when I can love my crucifixion I can own the dream of being a selfless self happily merrily merrily owning all of it. I need to learn to appreciate the real suffering of reality. Doors only open if you look for them. There are people that I can imagine that will have specific problems that I can help with. How can we lean into having more direct experience? >How can I lean into direct experience more? By cutting away distractions. You need to choose what stream of consciousness you want to catch. You need to choose what stream you want to go merrily merrily down because life is but a dream. (Row row your boat song) How can I help other people own their life? Relationship exercise: Sit for 1 minute, stare into each other's eyes, and say nothing. Watch how much that allows what to enter into your mind about the relationship. > This actually ended up to be a powerful exercise. > It is important to always draw sharp distinctions between what is distraction and what is focused work. If you cannot get this right, you will be lost in the maze of reality. You have to be extremely persistent with holding this sharp distinction in your state of consciousness at all times. Constantly asking yourself what is important, what is the most important thing to be focusing on. It's devilishly easy to get distracted. Notes From Trip Sitter: What did I learn today? To own your life, you have to choose to own all of it. Own it all, including some of the more difficult details. In what ways are you like others? We are all struggling to find new ways to live. We are not fighting anymore to survive. We need to create stories to survive. >Survival is more than just living to see the next day. It's a choice to own that life. A choice to exist. Will I choose to take control of what I created? Will I choose to play a part? God is the MOST powerful. It's a choice to understand reality. I am beginning to understand the power of deep awakening. An infinite mind will create anything, reality will find ways to actualize its creation… Movement in the mind. If we experience a day in the life in Africa, we will learn. Choose to see pain. Experience different parts of the world. When we want to feel more alive, choose to own more of reality. What is best for me right now? I need new experiences and more direct experience to forget my problems. Find people to help. Maybe take on more clients. Create more experience to help others and teach others. In becoming useful for others, you end up becoming better off yourself. Helping others will help to enter a healthier state of consciousness. You can choose to create these people in your life to help. God will just spawn these people into the dream of reality. Alternatively, you can choose to make this dream into a nightmare. Fundamentally you can make reality anything. Pain is what keeps you dreaming. Even though pain is a part of the dream. War is started because we need something to do. It's a choice to see reality as perfection. If you want to create, you cannot have a self. Do you own your life today? Life will run on its own. For some, sexuality can be a choice. If you make a choice enough, it becomes your mind. We need to kill the dragons while they are small. We need to kill the dragons before they grow. I need to own my own dream. I can choose to be lucid in my dreams. When I face the fear in my dreams, it gives me strength. To choose to create as God, you cannot have a self. What do you get excited about? I need to own that state of consciousness. Create videos about the pain. I need to do something about the pain instead of numbing it. Stupid people that are teaching you, they are not acknowledging their pain. Beauty comes with owning pain from the fountain of God. When we own our pain, then we choose how we participate in the dream. We must also choose to own the other people's lives and their pain. God created reality for you, what are you going to do with it? Choose to let go of being a self, to create. >This messaging came to me over and over again throughout the trip. Crying, shouting: "I CANNOT BE A SELF IF I WANT TO CREATE" What is other? It is questioning the dream. “Other” is God creating around you, and you can choose to participate. Animals reflect the state of consciousness you are not owning because they are highly emotionally intuitive. I choose to love reality, the nightmare. I choose to love the nightmare to death. > This was profound for me. When it comes to the life you want to live, you must start with the dream that you have already dreamt yourself in. And if it is a nightmare, then own that, love that, let your love penetrate that fully. > Any time I have really turned my life around was when I chose to love the nightmare. You have to love through it all. Choose to be curious about your bad habits and behaviors, treat it as a project to become completely conscious of to see how your mind is constructing all of it. Slowing down to the speed of love. >Slow down your life such that you can learn to love it. Stop distracting your self with high speed distractions. I have to choose every moment to be a lucky gift. Every moment is a lucky gift. >You didn’t have to wake up this morning. Every morning that you wake up is grace. What now? I have to choose to spend money on my self to be healthy. Like a Gym membership. I need some money coming in. I need to find some work. I need to help people and I will become more valuable. I need to listen more. Choose to be selfless, to create. To choose to help others is to choose to participate in the dream. When I help others, it will give me a dream I can love. Because I have so much gratitude to be in this moment. Any argument, decision or conflict never mattered. It was all created in the empty canvas of God. End of Report.

I'm pretty sure at this point I am in fact what they call "a writer." Whatever that means. Start a Bone Writing practice. See the Book: Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg I usually write my reports as I'm tripping. When you go to edit your report, aim to deeply clarify and organize your information. Going back to edit your report should be a process to aid in your own personal clarification of insights as well as in your integration.

January 10th 2023 So in this trip, both my mother and I did 5g. I was upstairs listening to Leo getting my mind blown left and right, while occasionally checking on my mother that starts channelling like crazy on these mushroom doses. Unlike the last time we tripped together, we were both tripping safely at home. Mom took her dose at 12:48pm. (2.8g Golden Teacher + 2.2g Blue Meanies) = 5g My dose was taken at 1:20pm (1.05g Blue Meanies + 3.95g Amazonian) = 5g We started to get high at about the same time. My Main Intentions What is Consciousness? What is Love? What is Relationship? Secondary Intention For Later How can I Focus Even more? >Never got to it. Listened to this: 10 minutes in Noticing my body shaking like before. Amazonian strain does this for me. 20 minutes High Shit moving. 33 minutes in. A new level of high kicked in. Noticing a subtle ear ringing. This trip feels like Avatar. I feel like I am one of the Na'vi People. I recently watched Avatar 1&2 and this trip felt like Avatar 2. This was beyond awesome. Insight: If you watch movies before your trip, your trip will start to feel like the mind-space of that movie. Insights and Musings We are part of one Divine mind. I can see that now, that is a fucking rough one to swallow Start writing your proud story. When it comes to life purpose, think about having such an awesome life that when it comes time for someone to write a biography on you, it will be a fucking amazing read Attachment so fucking deep. The love that you get from a mother is what motivates you to be the proud protector of the tribe. You need to have a fucking story always inspiring you. Periodically watch movies to inspire you. Use the minds of other people to bring wisdom to me. Powerful people have the luxury to use other minds to do thinking for them. Have other Minds working for you to give you the best insights. ZONK yourself with powerful catalyst experiences to get yourself in the zone of becoming who you want to become. I noticed in my life that there were moments before going to bed where I would look at the ceiling and I chose to love my life. I said, "Even in this moment, I am happy". I need you to choose to love your life. This is a decision that you make. One thing that's very remarkable about psychedelics is how much it interconnects all your memories such that there is an easy flow between several memories at once. There is a memory that popped up in my consciousness Where I remembered when I won the gold medal for a soccer game when I was a child and after I won the soccer coach told me I was a warrior. Good times. I demand Warriors out of my people. I am very surprised how little visuals I got with this strain. I was very surprised with how much I was grounded this entire trip. I didn't allow myself to get whisked away nearly as much. Even though this was one of my most potent doses. Perhaps it was because of the lack of visuals? In future trips, I will really focus on grounding myself much more because this helped a whole lot with producing great insights. It was incredible to notice how my mind had this remarkable ability to have several trains of thought at once. It's like my mind was able to segment itself into its own subdivisions. Definitely alien level thinking. Leo says: "Why can't they're universe just choose to exist?" Makes sense to me. How to give a wicked compliment: Give people compliments to stay in their consciousness for a while. Where your compliment gets into the minds of other people. "I want you to think about this compliment for the rest of your night". Your life is a maze, Welcome. Welcome to the puzzle that is your life. When you become the physical embodiment of the man that you want to become people have to rise up to your level or they can fuck off. Become so based that people TREMBLE in your presence because you make them feel so inadequate by just existing. This is why becoming the ultimate embodiment is the ultimate power Self-Actualization and Shadow work especially is crawling out of the contexts that you have trapped yourself in. It's like finding your way out of a house that is completely hoarded to the ceiling. One needs to crawl out of the paradigm locks they've unconsciously put themselves in. Crawl yourself out of the fucked family you're in and the fucked up friend group you are attached to. Crawl yourself out of your shitty wage-slave job that is forcing you to live paycheck by paycheck. Crawl yourself out of your own limiting beliefs that is preventing you from making steps. Crawl yourself out of all the anxieties and neurotic OCD tenancies you have. Crawl out of a rats nest of bad habits you have developed over years of being mediocre. I respect those that have the courage to live another day. Especially when life starts to really suck. I'm noticing that when teaching people you need to give them plenty of contexts for their mind to think about in order to grasp the nature of what you are talking about. Steelman your arguments with layers upon layers of context to deconstruct. Construct and deconstruct. That is how you teach. I started to really notice that I will use my language in an intelligent way to bake in contexts and metaphysical assumptions. A wise teacher understands how to do this intentionally. I will be teaching people how to understand a specific concept, and I'll intentionally layer it with additional contexts in mind. I'll layer it with the context of a positive mindset I'll layer it by speaking in a certain way that is accurate to my metaphysical contemplations. I'll layer it in the context of it being empowering/ ego boosting. I'll layer it under a context of using specific beliefs that I know that the student is attached to. So I will intentionally hook them in that way. I'm noticing that we will rationalize our indoctrinations that made us go through pain and suffering. These rationalizations will massively influence our relationships with our decisions that we make today. For example, all the pain you went through being an ADHD child, not being able to focus. To the point where you actually started to believe that you are an actual loser without this medication. Where you believe that you are an unfocused mess. But then you grow older, you start eating clean, you start having 8 hours of quality sleep every night, you eat super healthy, you do a heavy metal detox, you're actually fine to focus without it. THAT plus eliminating all of your distractions and actually sitting down and training yourself to focus. This is at least the story I had. Where I realized that the ADHD medication I had was doing me no favors. The only time it did me favors was when I had to sit in a boring lecture at school that was DESIGNED to bore you to death. Because I suffered so much to take that medication, I unconsciously constructed a story as to why I was a loser without it. When your life becomes more abundant, you will naturally grow outside of the life that you're in. You grow outside of the environment that you are in. Subconscious patterns are constantly governing our decisions all the time. This is why you have to be incredibly strong-willed to cultivate enough awareness to break these old patterns. I believe that men have an easier time doing this than women because women are influenced by their emotions a whole lot more. The difference between a human and an animal is that a human can make a choice to not be influenced by their desires. We will naturally become a loser if we just listen to our crybaby attitudes to take the path of least resistance. We will NATURALLY become a bitch if we are not intentional about always doing the emotionally difficult thing. It wouldn't be a story worth having if there wasn't conflict. Conflicts in every single moment unlocks the beauty and intelligence of life. It is through the exchange of conflict does intelligence allow itself to be birthed. The physical objects around you bake in meaning. So design your physical environment intelligently. Invest money to personalize gifts for your people to strengthen your relationships. Nothing is more special than a well thought out, personalized gift. Meaning = Personalization. You need to earn today. Every single day needs to be earned. Have a thing with fighting for. You're either a king or a loser, there's no in-between. Being an amazing director of movies demands a massive understanding of people's lives, psychology, stages of development, all of it. Plus all of the nitty gritty details of understanding complex politics to construct all these deep storylines and narratives. Eat salty chips to control the bladder so you don't have to go pee as much from drinking all this water to avoid the shroom hangover. Drink lots and eat chips. More insights on how to improve yourself fast. Go to WAR on your Life. Declare WAR on your Life. You need to be hyper vigilant to constantly notice all the patterns you've unconsciously indoctrinated yourself with. Build awareness as fast as you can. Psychedelics Meditation Meditative yoga Journalling Contemplation Visualization Solo retreats Crawl yourself out of the perceived contexts that you are in. Train mega awareness. Cultivate Strong relationships to facilitate your growth. Allocate resources towards yourself. Spend money. At least 10% of your total income needs to be spent towards yourself Buy life coaching. Invest in physical infrastructure Laptops Heavy Metal Detox Supplies Get your own place / Move out Nothing is more powerful than making an intelligently placed investment in yourself. Get rid of all the addictions Get rid of all the toxic people. Treat every day as day one. The worst day. The most valuable resource you can leverage is your time. Have the courage to live way below your means such that you have much more time to work on yourself. Focus on taking away the distractions, and learn how to focus properly with discipline. Both of these need to be combined together for maximum result. Find your focus style. Use the Kolbe A Index. Separate tasks dependant on their cognitive difficulty. Then do the most cognitively difficult activities first, and move down the list as the day goes on and your energy drains. Constantly ask yourself: Am I going to show up for today? I asked this question every time I stepped into a cold shower or started a brutal workout. Start making plans as to how you're going to use all the money you're going to make to build a case as to why you're going to need it. Random Thoughts One day directors are going to use AI to fix movie mistakes and cinema sins. A meaningless tattoo is a sign that you are meaningless. Post Trip Report Very fun trip, was very confident throughout. Had lots of connecting moments with my mother. My mom got massive clarity on her trip. I need to study more about 5meo more so I can get myself ready for it! I am slowly building more and more understandings of deep metaphysical insights.

This might be the perfect video for you. Owen Cook, Mamba Mentality. Wiring it in your nervous system. Also see: The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman. Helped Kobe Byran create the Mamba Mentality. Lots of it is surrendering to the boring habits. The work. See: Atomic Habits by James Clear. See role models creating an image of relentlessness like David Goggins, The first 200 videos of Wes Watson, Jocko Willink, etc. Most of this comes from clarity of life purpose and vision. Taking Massive Action. https://www.actualized.org/blueprint https://www.actualized.org/blueprint/just-do-it https://www.actualized.org/blueprint/right-action

Very clearly define who you want to be and who you don't want to be. Be exhaustive and comprehensive. Cultivate a profound relationship with Truth. To the point where you see it as deeply valuable to dig into your bias, self-deception, devilry, double standards, where you are wrong, corruption, demonization, judgement, etc. (Leo has videos on all of these) Where you see truth as the highest value, the highest prize. The only game in town. To the point where you fall in love with reality. Emotional mastery. Facing your emotions in strong determination sitting. See Leo's video: meditation on steroids. Understand how you create stories and contexts to construct reality. A very deep leverage point. Understand how you use language to construct your reality. Very deep leverage point. Literally make a habit of understanding how every word is just connected to a bunch of other words through synonym and whatever word means. Also building your existential vocabulary. See Leo's related video. Deconstruct all limiting beliefs. See Leo's busting limiting beliefs exercises. Along with his dream killers free course. Deconstruct all ideologies. Especially anywhere where YOU are ideological. For me, deconstructing what is pragmatism was a big step. Self inquiry. Look at Leo's video on what is fake spirituality. All those practices of facing boredom and doing ego dissolution will make insane leaps for you. Doing all your Shadow work is a very deep lever in changing yourself. Doing therapy with EMDR, or through psychedelics, meditation retreats, solo receipts, all very powerful techniques. I noticed my awareness started change even with a small handful of handshake doses with 5meodmt. Understand self love.

Appreciate it 💪🏻

Thanks for the pointer. I deeply appreciate it. Lectures I'll pay attention to more deeply for this: - How to practice love - How to fall in love with life - What is fake spirituality - why truth is the highest value I still just need a direct Awakening into love. Any Awakening would be nice at this point. I found lots of fear taking a 3g mushrooms combined with the - how to do self inquiry episode. Which SHOULD help me awaken to no-self. 5meo is still deeply challenging.

@Leo Gura What allowed Leo to be so ballsy with practices of Ego dissolution? I've noticed that as I deepen into the work, a high DESIRE for truth needs to be at the spearhead. A desire do strong that you're willing to sack up and do a breakthrough dose of 5meodmt. How did you strengthen your relationship to truth so much? To motivate you to break through to the terrifying levels of Awakening? How did you increase your capacity for truth? I feel like there has to be a mega willingness to suffer through it all. How has your relationship to fear evolved in pursuing this work? I've noticed fear is holding me back.

Thanks Leo! 🌅🥳😃

I energize and clarify minds through speaking, igniting confidence to live a fully engaged life.

Noted.

@Leo Gura I thought your deconstructing science series was beyond impressive and quite an achievement to be able to make a video so comprehensive. Like a crown jewel to your work. So if this new video on deconstructing rationality is going to be like that... Let's just say I'm thrilled. ❤️❤️❤️

My superpower is self-deception.

I saw something similar recently for Wayne Dyer. Just AI slop. It blows.

I've been searching for emesh devices myself.

Thanks for the insightful post! I look forward to the day I sack up for a breakthrough.

Could you clarify what you mean?

@Natasha Tori Maru Your writing makes me smile.

I honestly believe personal development is like split between self-improvement, and the other half being self-love, which comes from deep compassionate understanding and even acceptance. In my experience I had fears around being herded along like the rest of the sheep, which honestly is a healthy fear to have in my opinion if it really motivates you to take massive action. Taking massive action is going to be what sets you apart. But you may end up realizing that this uniqueness of you will not actually leave. Sure it may not flower as much if you do not give love to it, but I don't think it'll actually completely disappear. Just notice where you're being authentic to pursuing excellence and where you are being neurotic of trying to not fit into the crowd. Every year I find myself establishing even deeper groundwork for what self-development actually is. I almost feel like I'm starting over every year, but on more firm ground. Or sober ground.

@Zeroguy wouldn't that be the best part though? Being so conscious that you are actually just all the people in the room? Just that level of consciousness is satisfying enough. Let alone fucking with that level of consciousness! Bucket list goals right there

Made me smile

Mind blown 🤯 It almost sounds like God-Realization is the only game in town. Like of anything to do ever in life that is of any value.