ZenSwift

You could say that the entirety of January was a Giant Ego backlash for me. Procrastinating from filming my next video. Eventually devolving into chasing dopamine hits all day surfing the web and eventually binge watching Breaking Bad. Not working out. Eating junk food. Dipping too much into porn and masturbation. etc. I've noticed that I lost a lot of touch with motivation. The most motivated I have ever been was freshly after I completed Leo's life purpose course in 2019. When I was fresh out of the gates from that course I was so determined and so excited to tackle my life purpose I had so much ferocity that I would just PLOW through everything no matter how painful it was because I was driven and I was passionate and I was willing to let whatever part of my ego die in service of creating the ego that would fulfill my life purpose. Now, I am in my own apartment all the time with only my own initiative to motivate myself. I feel like I lost touch with a lot of my motivation and I've lost touch with my life purpose. I feel bad for myself for avoiding reviewing the life purpose course for so long. "How could I be such a fool to not see this coming? To not see that my entire motivation system hinges on a life purpose and a vision." I've been able to identify that I really don't know how to feed my muse. It feels like the ways to feed my muse is inaccessible or there's a lot of hurdles that I have to jump through that I don't want to put up with (e.g. Get a certification here, go to school for 4 years there to then get a half good position of a JOB). When I think about ways I can feed my muse, I feel like my muse is fed when I can help other people under the context of emotionally difficult situations. For example, someone trying to push themselves in the gym, someone trying to face Their Fear with something and being able to hold that space for them. Being able to give a lecture to a group of eager to learn students. Being able to guide someone on a rough psychedelic trip. I absolutely love being able to hypnotize other people into being motivated and to really put the fucking Spirit into something. I like to help people become fully engaged with their life. Yet the same time I'm finding myself struggling to create a life for myself where I feel fully engaged. I lack the vision. I lack the direct experience of a reference point to shoot for. I feel like I need to just sit and watch a high performing intellectual motivational speaker/ self-help guru/ Youtuber exist in front of me for a day or something. What really inspires me is being an absolute unit and Fountainhead of inspiration for others. Just being able to tow the line for everyone else. But I lack the vision. At least that's what I currently believe... I realize at this point no motivational video or whatever is going to really help me as much as just reconnecting with a life purpose and a vision. And then feeding and programming my mind strategically towards that. I also genuinely Wonder how much my idea of my life purpose has fallen away from me in my pursuit of understanding Reality by stripping away more and more until I realize that there are no other people. Like that's gotta do a number on your psyche across the board. I do wonder how much of this process of Awakening is also stripping away the constructs of a life purpose. At this point, I realize that it doesn't really matter what I do as a career, I just want to find a spot where my ego feels like it fits the most. Such that it is fully engaged every single day fully putting its Spirit into life. Because what matters the most is just being able to enjoy your direct experience until your body dies and then you move on into imagining another life in another reality. My goals are siloed into 3 categories. Book Writing Life Coaching YouTube Success I've done a lot of writing on my book and I've shelved it for now. Started that thing in 2020. (130k words in main document, 100k words in the trash) I have one pro-bono client that I'm working with, but I would absolutely love to have a lot more people to help. Being a life coach for people creates a lot of good movement in my mind. I'm also getting close guidance under a mentor of mine so I am learning at an accelerated rate. I am working on my YouTube, and I am chipping away at it. Not nearly at the pace I want to. Lots of procrastination. Feeling a lot of resistance. I realize that because I don't really have much survival pressure on me, I just wither away. I have about 2 years of money saved up, so there is no direct experiences reinforcing the idea that I have to hurry the fuck up or I will be sentenced to a another prison of a job just to survive. I'm grasping at hairs in really figuring out how to motivate myself sustainably. The conclusion that I have come to so far especially after since doing a big mushroom trip around this topic is that I have to create a lot more momentum in my mind. I also need to program my mind a lot more with a constructed vision to run towords, and I need to interface with an idea of a nightmare to run away from if I let myself wither away for too long. I am way too fucking complacent right now it's unbelievable. And I feel like I'm crawling myself out of a hole of complacency because I have a lack of a serious grasp of the stakes at hand. Here are three things that I plan to do to stay motivated Go to a university three times a week and work there the entire day, rather than just staying at home 7 days a week. Reconnect with my life purpose and Rediscover what my life purpose is by going through Leo's value assessment once again. Progressively do more and more 5MeO to one day grasp what God is. As I Intuit that raising my consciousness can help me become more and more conscious of the ways I am deceiving myself around my motivation. Plus it allows me to move the needle towards my awakening goals because it would be really nice to become conscious of God at some point. I also see chasing Enlightenment goals as one way to create a real challenge in my life for once. A BIG goal of mine is to pursue Awakening very deeply, and I feel like I can chip away at that by doing a psychedelic every couple of weeks or so until I need to take a bigger break for integration. I've currently just been doing high doses of mushrooms. I would like to get 5MEO working for me, yet I would also like to get AL-LAD a try. But I'm not going to allow myself to touch AL-LAD until I do my homework on it. On top of that, I would like to commit to the following Picking a wake up time and sticking to it. Picking a morning routine and sticking to it. Scheduling every single day, the day before, and sticking to it. Following through with a consistent bedtime and actually respecting the fucking bedtime. Picking a time to fall asleep and sticking with it. Listening to a motivational speech from Wes Watson to program my mind. I find myself more motivated when I listen to that guy. Working out every single day. Reading an Hour every day. Visualizing for 10 minutes every single day. I'm finding that I struggle with visualization so much, I have no idea what the hell I should be trying to visualize. I don't really have any thing that I'm visualizing that is creating any sense of emotional Spark. I'm honestly completely lost with that. The best thing that I can visualize is picking a video idea and then imagining how it would look. That is what I've had the most success with. But I feel like I want to be visualizing a scenario of the man I want to become. I remember Wes Watson talking about for all those days he was in prison, what kept Him going was this idea of walking in a field and seeing his future wife and kid and embodying the state of consciousness of being a man that did everything he could by putting in the work every single day with a beautifully chiseled body because he worked out every single day knowing that he has achieved all the success that he could ever imagine. I want to create that kind of visualization scenario for myself. I also have no vision and I've been struggling with creating a vision since day one. I didn't even have the ability to construct a vision when I took Leo's life purpose course back in late 2019. I don't even know what an exciting life is for me, I don't have enough direct experience of the possibilities of what's out there for the kinds of lives I could live. I'm withering away like an incel typing away at a computer. I need to find ways to really challenge myself in life precisely because it is unnecessary. I feel like that's where the most of the fun is. I want to have a challenge that I can be on board with. I would love to be able to work as hard as Leo did towards Actualized.org. I want to be able to have the focus to contemplate as much as Leo does. I can barely focus myself to sit the fuck down and contemplate some real shit about reality. I think I'm not alone when I say I want to become a mini Leo Gura in my own way. Embodying the attitude of a seriousness sage towards your life. I would love to live a life like Laird Hamilton where your life is badass as fuck. Where you are just an absolute UNIT that keeps going. https://youtu.be/bMqSmj-X4ls I would love to become a Wim Hof where I have people gather around me to do ice bath and breathing exercises. I would love to speak to audiences like Wayne Dyer and Sean Stephenson. I want to HYPNOTIZE motherfuckers into living a passionate life! https://youtu.be/ja-n5qUNRi8 I want to FEED the spirit of others!

Great information, thankyou. Perhaps you can send me a handful of sources to these awake people you know of?

Here's an update. I went and got a job as a wildland Firefighter, fighting forest fires. I was very happy because it was 100x better just sitting at home, plus it was an extremely challenging job. So I appreciated the challenge. Even though I had to work extra hard to keep up, and I had to stretch an hour every evening on top of a 14 hour day to keep up, I was thankful for the opportunity. People could not understand why I was so happy all the time, especially given the rough nature of the job. After about 3 months of working, I ended up being taken off the crew because I didn't measure up. This was absolutely devastating as I've been on a streak of being let go from jobs for one reason or another. Luckily I didn't lose employment completely, I was moved to do odd jobs in a warehouse. And a couple of other different jobs in between. I was pretty bummed out about getting separated from the rest of the crew, I took a big hit in the pay having to switch to the next job, making half of what I used to, but I at least I still had some employment. During that time I had a few hours after work, because instead of 14 hour days I was working 9 hour days (8 hours with a 1 hour lunch break). So I had time to focus on the Life Purpose Course again. And I read 2 Life Coaching Books. I finally had some routine and time to focus on myself a bit. I also learned that the job as a Firefighter was not only a physically unsafe one but a very emotionally unsafe environment. Creating a dog-eat-dog environment of boys where you never felt really emotionally supported, you basically had to become very callous to survive the environment of all men. Much more than any job I've worked before in oil. ⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛ I've come up with a more direct life purpose statement. In 2019 my life purpose statement was: I teach people how to Understand themselves to create a Peaceful mind and a Passionate life. Now it's: 🟡 I Energize and Clarify Minds through Speaking, Igniting Confidence to Live A Fully Engaged Life. When it comes to visualization, I've noticed that I can tap into emotion far more easily when I imagine people gathering to hear what I have to say. And I get that feeling of being honored that people are giving me their time (their most precious resource) to listen to what I have to say. 🔵 Zone of Genius: Speaking 🔴 Domain of Mastery: Public Speaking. 🟢 Ideal Medium: Speaking to Crowds. Top 10 Values: ⚪ Health ⚪ Courage ⚪ Leadership ⚪ Personal Growth ⚪ Focus ⚪ Clarity ⚪ Freedom ⚪ Positivity ⚪ Peace of Mind ⚪ Connection ⚪ Health - Feeling good in my body and in my mind, sustained across time. ⚪ Courage - Taking right action aligned with my values when it is difficult to do so. Speaking and acting from the heart. ⚪ Leadership - Exerting my sovereignty onto reality. ⚪ Personal Growth - Challenging myself every day to be one step better than yesterday. ⚪ Focus - Being profoundly intentional with everything that I do in my life. ⚪ Clarity - Seeing the big picture, allowing myself to lean into the present moment. When I have full clarity, I am able to lean into the moment fully and just do the next thing. ⚪ Freedom - Disciplining myself to create sovereignty of mind to have control over my life. ⚪ Positivity - Seeing all the pain in life for the gift that it really is. ⚪ Peace of Mind - Feeling content to just enjoy this moment in front of me fully, no matter what I am feeling. ⚪ Connection - Creating a deep rapport with others such that I feel understood. 🟠 Strengths: Strength #1: ⭐ Perspective wisdom Strength #2; ⭐ Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness Strength #3: Curiosity and interest in the world Strength #4: Bravery and valor Strength #5: Creativity, ingenuity, and originality Strength #6: Zest, enthusiasm, and energy After the Season of Working in Wildfire, I traveled to Rishikesh, India for a 200h Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training Program. The Kundalini Teachers were very good and knowledgeable, the meditation and Aryuveda teacher seemed pretty good, the Hatha Yoga teacher was very knowledgeable, the anatomy teacher was knowledgeable but had no lesson plan, the Pranayama teacher was terrible, and I didn't learn a damn thing from the philosophy teacher. None of the teachers were communicating between each other, and the school didn't create any cohesive linear lesson plan. So you'd run into scenarios where teachers are unknowingly repeating something said in a previous class. And other teachers wondering why we haven't covered xyz yet. The people organizing the school did not care at all, did not keep a good standard of cleanliness, and overall through many ways showed that they didn't care. I was ready to leave after the first 10 days. But I hung in there, finished the three weeks, got the certification, for whatever that was worth, then went on traveling through India. With plans to visit other countries as well. With new plans of my mother likely joining me on my travels because it worked out that way with her work. I detail my travels a bit more in this update: ⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜ I noticed that I have to always be in an environment where I'm needed, and where I feel engaged and challenged. Unless I have a full roster of clients and events to run, it's not in my best interest to be without a job of some sort to show up to. I feel like I need people in front of me to be motivated a lot of the time. Until I create that structure for myself, I feel like I'll have to rely on already established businesses and organizations. I find that my brain goes into a very intelligent and creative mode if it is fulfilling the needs of others. If someone wants a presentation on something, I'm highly motivated to put something together and present it. ⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜ I definetly appreciate @Shodburrito thoughts on this. And I think he's right that I'm not yet conscious enough on what's the best for me in how to live my life properly given my kind of brain, personality, etc. And only through massive experience will I uncover that more. And one very important thing is to choose something definite and just see the goal through entirely, even if it's choosing the wrong thing, it's far better than not choosing anything at all. I remember Leo's video on exposing yourself to new experience detailing that you have to gain experience in creating something truly valuable. I have yet to complete a good size project that brings lots of value to people. Like a presentation, or finishing writing my book. Leo's video on how to become decisive was a very important video with helping me make a decision to pick up a job doing firefighting. And then Leo's video on exposing yourself to new experience played an important role in influencing my decision to travel. Along with it making the most sense to travel in my life at this time, many things lined up you could say. Plus I was in no good zone of productivity going back to no other job after the season finished. Going forward, my plan is to travel for 2 more months, then hopefully come back to a job that'll expose me to new experiences, facing the benefit of being needed, and having a routine. Then getting very intentional about my skill building of being a professional motivational speaker. And I for sure want to get the iPEC life coaching training. The money is already spent in my mind.

So I am traveling to India and then I also plan to travel to Thailand and possibly other surrounding countries after that. The whole thing will be 3 to 4 months. I come here today to ask for tips and advice on how I can use these experiences to grow the most as an individual to really take advantage of the opportunity that I have here. Literally my goal is just to grow as much as I can. How does one grow the most while doing solo travel? What are Traps to avoid that will stunt my growth while traveling? Thank you guys. I've always deeply appreciated your insight and support over the years. Much love to you all.

SHOKZ OpenMove Bluetooth Wireless Headphones These are bone conduction headphones. You can use with earplugs. I think there's even a version you can use with for swimming. Been using these for years.

Okay so here's an update: I've been to Dehradun, Rishikesh, Delhi, Agra, Fatehpur Sikri, Jaipur, Ajmer, Pushkar, Jodhpur, Udaipur, Chittorgarh, Indore, Prayagraj, Varanasi, Mumbai, North and South Goa. Next is Gokarna, Hampi, and Banglore, then Kerala if it still makes any sense. I did Bhaang in Udaipur, which is a THC edible. I was high for 2 days. Not fun. Horrific trip, but I survived. I think I might post the trip report. I went to Kumbh Mela. Did the holy bath, went on antibiotics for 5 days to save my life after that. I wish I did at least two days there, rather than just one. My original goal with Travel was to expose myself to as much experience as possible. In the spirit of Leo's video: Expose Yourself to More Experience. Now, just being somewhere on the opposite side of the world does a lot. But I'm feeling like I've maxed out the gains of just being somewhere else, I need to look for deeper experiences. Since Varanasi, I've been pretty bored. And it even started back in Pushkar. I enjoyed it a lot more when it was rougher. I've noticed I really don't like areas that cater to tourists - - it's very hollow. Also I don't feel really challenged anymore. It's more of the same. In Goa, the beach is nice to look at, it's nice to get in the warm water, but that gets old after 2 days for me. The whole sitting on the beach thing is not my jam at all! At this point, I miss working on projects like writing my book, building my skills, I want to be contemplating things, expanding my consciousness. It all feels like distraction being here! Deep career success, Awakening success, and relationship success is what I'm after now. I do want to look for some dating experiences as well. As I am now in the south where it's a lot less conservative. And I really do like Indian Women! I am also considering using hinge premium dating app in addition to being very intentional about going out and talking to tons of people. Perhaps I'll be significantly more successful with socialization here because I'm a unique foreigner? I've noticed it's challenging trying to make friends when you're moving around a lot. Moving around is in a way me surveying the landscape to see what I really like the most. Then when I find a spot I really like, I'll come back in the future and just spend a month there, writing a book, and I think I'd enjoy finding a routine of working on my craft, socializing, eating well, and enjoying nature. I realize I appreciated the experiences of walking in the villages the most. Untouched by tourists. When you're in a place where people meet a foreigner for the first time, it's something special. People want to shake your hand, take photos with you, sometimes they'll even buy you a meal or some tea. Plus prices are not artifically raised for you like they are in the tourist areas. I've also noticed that the rougher it is, the more radical the living situation, the more it is challenging to survive there, the more I'm out of my comfort zone - - the more rewarding it is. When I see some rough shit, I have a renewed appreciation for what I have. I do plan to still go to Thailand, Vietnam, Phillipenes. And my mother happens to be joining me for that. As it just lined up that way. So that could be a great bonding experience. I also believe I'll grow more when I get back home as well because I'll get that contrast once again. I've had a lot of stress I created for myself worrying about the money I spend while traveling. Being too conservative with my money caused me lots of unnecessary suffering. The way I've remedied this is by asking myself: "Will spending this money help me grow?". That gives me permission to not get so worked up over things costing money.

Been listening to Leo's music playlist for Years now. When I first listened to it, it was a breath of fresh air to have a playlist where EVERY SINGLE SONG is a hit! All these songs now have serious sentimental value to me. I have done lots of tips to them, I've driven in beautiful places with them, lived life alongside them! https://www.actualized.org/insights/leos-music-playlist https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFfM65xLnO-GI1fYqup85SgJcC_d9vq3_ What's your favorite song from the playlist? For me it's Oneiric by Lazerhawk. I used to make music playlists myself, sorting through thousands of songs, and it made the most rewarding playlists. But I haven't done that in several years. I definetly want to reconnect with that! I highly recommend anyone reading to try this hobby of playlist building out! You won't regret it! I'm totally interested now in seeing any additional music playlists that Leo has put together. And for that matter, to those reading, perhaps use this thread to share your own contemplation/tripping playlists? Anyways, thanks for sharing @Leo Gura!

Leo, as a student that dreams of developing the ability to teach like you, I deeply appreciate you sharing your slideshow that you reference for your talks. ❤️ https://www.actualized.org/insights/lower-vs-higher-perspectives-slideshow-part-1

Yay Leo!

@Samsonov thanks for the tips! I'm learning lots of stuff on reading people's intentions! I'll keep note to get into a Routine, especially when I go down to the South.

@Samsonov thanks! I'm still confused about what the hell to actually do! 😂 Other than just walking around the cities!

Beat me to it! @mmKay Since Leo's postings about theft, and combined with my travels in India and learning about the scams that are everywhere, I have become extremely interested in the whole topic of scams and Theft. It is SO fascinating! Makes me excited to hear what Leo has gathered.

@Porphyry Fedotov I plan to visit all over. Rishikesh, Delhi, Jaipur, Varanasi, Bangalore, Mumbai, Etc.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/automatic-love Dude, this post inspires me so much to get MY ASS INTO GEAR with contemplation. I feel like I'm either 1) Too busy with survival, 2) Too Distracted and scattered with other things, 3) Too Lazy, 4) Too unable to focus on important things when I DO have time for myself. One Day I will figure out how to focus this mind of mine! I want to Collapse every duality in Leo's "Understanding Duality" videos through contemplation. One Two Three I want to exhaust all the points of pre-modern, modern and post modern ideas Leo has listed. I want to contemplate deeply all these deep Questions of life to fruition: How the fuck is anything possible? What the fuck is anything? Where the fuck did I come from What the fuck is consciousness? How do I live the best life? I want to awaken to Every facet listed here and then some. I want to Do 300 Trips on 5MeO. I want to Gain Mastery in Motivational Public Speaking. Not to mention integrating deep insights from videos on topics like Happiness. And I want to Decimate Leo's Book list. Along with Decimating my own book list. So much things I want to do, so little ability to focus. I swear at this point it is my life mission to change that. Anyways I felt passionate writing this all out.

@Majed definetly for sure gotta do pickup there!

I pretty much use this forum to read what Leo says, read trip reports, read articles that catch my eye, perhaps read some other really conscious people, and post my trip reports and post on specific things to seek guidance on.

I look forward to meeting Jesters

✅

@Cocolove So I've concluded that the supposedly safest way to go about heavy metal detox and to do the challenge rounds is to see how I do with a low dose round of chelation, and work myself up to a good dose or chelation rounds, and when I can manage that, that is when I go for a challenge test.

I've been studying Heavy Metal Detox deeply and I have been running up against this unresolved issue. First Question: @Leo Gura, when you did your first provoked urine test, was that the first time you had the chelator DMSA enter your body? Or did you first test to see just how your body would react on a smaller dose? For me, taking 2100mg of DMSA right out the gate seems outlandish if I don't even know how my body will react to even one pill. Wouldn't it make sense to try doing a chelating round and see how my body handles it? And perhaps if it's going smoothly in day one, I could do a provoked urine test on day 2? Second, less important question is: When you test yourself, lets say after 20 rounds of chelation, do you do a Provoked Urine Test or just a Normal Urine Test?

I basically did 4 months of detox by working a job where it was so many hours, so busy and it was so remote where I actively chose to use it as an opportunity to detox completely. Here's my suggestion for you. Definetly do the detox. But if you plan to reintegrate after, may I suggest a much more intelligent reintegration process. Because much to my surprize, the addictive behaviours went back to usual as nothing happened. But I will say I have definetly noticed a huge positive rewiring away from the instant dopamine hits. Definetly felt the positive of rewiring my brain from taking that much time off of the dopamine hits. But don't assume you're then immune to an addiction. Similar to an addiction to alcohol, once an alcoholic, always an as alcoholic. Always got to watch yourswlf like a hawk and have systems put in place and much more abundant things in life to pursue to replace the shallow dopamine hits. Book to consider: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. Where he discusses a 1 month process of detox and then an intellegent reintegration with technology with developing a personal philosophy with why you're using any of these potentially distracting devices/apps.

"Would you like butter with that popcorn?" At the movie theater. "Sure". The butter is $7. Proceed to watch a shitty movie. Serves me right for trying to have a popcorn and a soda, felt like crap after from the food and the movie! So glad I got a lovely reminder as to why I don't buy popcorn or drinks at a movie theater anymore. And why I check the ratings first.

Currently I've dropped my place to live at home because I had a job working away the whole summer. I am lucky with logistics.

Obviously there's no guarantees with anything in reality but I'm curious to see what you guys on the Forum have to say about India. I would like to travel to India for a yoga practitioner retreat that will last for 2 months in Rishikesh, and then I would like to travel to southern India, exploring around, backpacking, along with possibly even visiting Thailand as well. I'm looking at a three to four month trip of solo travel. (I also have never traveled solo before like this. I've flown to a few places in the USA alone but that's about it.) - A colleague of mine mentioned that she reads the news and is worried about me going to India for fear of me being caught in the middle of World War 3 or some similar dangerous conflict. So that is why I come here to get your thoughts. Let me know about your thoughts on: What's going on in and around India today? What are the chances of it being safe versus unsafe in the upcoming months? And Furthermore: What are some great resources to help keep yourself safe when traveling solo in a new country? How to avoid getting conned, scammed, taken advantage of, etc. (I will study Leo's video on the topic as well.) Please share with me all the resources and insights you got.

Bumping for interest.