ZenSwift

Leo I'm connecting your video Epistemic Responsibility with Motivational Speech Oct 2021. And I'm starting to realize how much I've been sleeping on: What is Attitude? I'm really looking into the importance of attitude. And I have curiosity about whether or not you have a plan to have a lecture specifically on attitude. Which I think will dovetail nicely with another lecture on taking massive action.

This just sounds like any normal blogging

Learning = Making Distinctions Understanding Duality Pt 1,2,3 Understating Creation vs destruction Division Vs Unity - The engine that runs reality What are Holons? Dovetail really well with that episode. I swear my mind is like a hyper-connected encyclopedia of actualized.org at this point.

A teacher will never really know, how far his teachings go. Thank you @Leo Gura, for all that you do. Happy Birthday!

I'm glad there's another that understands this lol

I'm really looking forward to the retreat Leo. In This Moment I'm curious about what specifically can I do lay the perfect Foundation between now and October for best results.

Exposing the New Manufactured Viral Content Economy Feel free to post similar content on the topic of manufactured fame.

Metaphysics & Epistemology Book 7, Book 8, Book 10, Book 11 Systems thinking Book 2 Consciousness, Enlightenment & Spirituality Book 1 Philosophy Book 1 Science & Life Book 12

I appreciate the kudos.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/billionaire-bias So many thoughts from this post. One thought is: Literally some of the most grounded, practical advice can come from the guy that is just one step ahead of you... I gotta ask some business owners that have just got their first successes with marketing, or just people that are hustling in the game every day, but not yet operating at an echelon that is no longer relatable for me. @Leo Gurais there a book on your book list that dives deeper into THIS self deception problem? Where your personal territory is so different than other people's, that the maps you create from it barely helps other people? (This also illustrates for example as to why women and men are so disconnected on a paradigm level. Women will never know the struggle men go through in a acquiring opportunities. Resuscitation if they're pretty. Like women being so disconnected from men, that they can't give good pickup advice. Asking the fish, not the fisherman...) (also the example of short men under 5ft4in experiencing a whole different ball game in attracting women. And these are slivers of perspective.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/two-sleeps On your comments about sensemaking being made relative to your worldview bias and not the other person's. (I would like to believe I've internalized this attitude of trying to see the other person's perspective, no matter how painful that is, to the point where this is a meta sensemaking perspective that I hold to help me understand people's perspectives more.) Reading your post, I realize that I often forget that people not only don't look for understanding outside their current worldview, but instinctively reinforce their bias and their perspective because that's what feels good. And of course this is an unconscious process upon which they aren't aware of the structure of their minds in this way; just listening to their emotions, reinforcing their ego identities. It's to the point where I stop trying to explain myself to be understood. I stop fighting entirely, and exit the game of trying to be understood at all. I recently pulled back from my longest standing friendship for this exact reason. (15+ years). I was simply flummoxed by the absence of construct awareness, emotional awareness, and the absence of the paradigm of putting the relationship first over "being right". I'm no longer understood, and I can see all the ways that he interpreted situations through his own biases exclusively. The self deception is so deep, I don't want to go through the time and effort to get him to open his mind to how he's wrong. That's like trying to tell someone the truth to someone who doesn't value truth first and foremost. That's insanity. Why waste the effort of helping them to reinterpret each event where I was hurt, where their needs were put first over the relationship? I give up. Looking after my own sensemaking is already enough of a burden to carry, let alone looking after another's sensemaking. Why waste that energy towards someone who isn't curious about understanding their selfishness? Rupture, rupture, rupture, rupture, no repair. So, I'll stay silent. Silence out of self defence, not weakness. Silence, because there is no emotional safety. When people have already made up their minds, argument often becomes useless, explaining yourself becomes useless, you're labelled a devil, and that's that. Another note on that post is: I have noticed I will try to explain and clarify ideas and insights by talking to AI. AI LLMs, of course, don't think, and are just a model of predicting words based on a data set and some rules. Incapable of original thought, the LLM will try to match what I am trying to convey through the pattern of my words, never grasping the core of my insight itself. This problem of translation between 2 humans on its own is deeply problematic issues of translation. This is the essence of understanding communication. This problem of paradigm translation can be more dangerous with AI. I'll find myself trying to describe an insight from my paradigm to a blind box that has no paradigm, just a ruleset and loads of data. Sometimes I find myself explaining to ChatGPT again and again and again as it offers more and more perspectives and challenges to what I have to say. As I reflect, I recognize I've been talked of of patterns of thought in ways one wouldn't anticipate, like being talked out of a unique insight that is completely your own. I am noticing more and more that I have to just take my authority on what I'm saying and what I know to mean by what I'm saying based in my perspective in my paradigm. Literally taking my authority back from the AI LLM. This exercise walks a razor thin Edge on self-deception, as you ultamately cannot rely on other to verify your insights. Sometimes I'll make the mistake of conforming to what CHATGPT says. Sometimes I'll ask ChatGPT to clarify an insight, but I'll lose some of the essence of the insight in that clarification because I offloaded the contemplation to a machine. And even writing insights down into English language distorts that truth a bit on its own. https://www.actualized.org/insights/being-done-with-everyone I relate to parts of this video here. I think as you become more conscious, as you become more meta, more construct aware in your sensemaking, you start to let go of anyone understanding, more and more. You save your breath, because you don't want to work that uphill battle. (makes me reflect on the symbolism of Christ's silence during his prosecutions) Perhaps that's a part of the motivation to be a teacher myself. Instead of explaining things 100 times, I just write it down once. But that's a different context entirely. For most social situations though, just owning the truth of where someone is at appears to be very energy efficient, rather than trying to change them and update their paradigm. Obviously, my mind is still heavily asleep under the Conformity of all of what I've been programed with, I'm probably at like 2% of my potential right now in terms of really stepping outside of my POV, but it beats so many people that often exhibit a 0.00001% capacity to step outside of their perspective. https://www.actualized.org/insights/actualized-quotes-554 This post here motivates me to study cult psychology to understand conformity and group think in the broader scope of culture. Of course! How could I not see that before? Studying cults isn't as of a niche application as I initially estimated.

I'll get insights the most when I'm in deep emotional states. Like sadness, anger, fear, etc. Especially anything related to suffering. And I'll often allow insights to come in without judging the source. I'd like to believe I get more insights triggered than most people I know. I'll often get loads of Insights if I'm actually reading a lot and feeding my mind loads of grist for the mill. Easier said than done.

This one struck a nerve

Appreciate it.

@Leo Gura, Do you have any specific teachings on surrender specifically? I'm noticing that surrendering to death and surrendering to fear on a psychedelic is a hurdle for me, (and as I can imaging for many). I can imagine that some of this would be covered in your workshops to realize God, or awakening course? I'm going to review your lectures on understanding Fear, Death, and maybe the one on Letting Go.

@Terell Kirby this man's expression says it all

I always respond to that with "Saved my life"

People (or you) speeding up when you hold the door for them.

Made me smile

I want to put together a bingo for these videos, keeping it civil. Like a psychology /self-deception /Self-bias scavenger hunt When you fill the box, you have to list what was said/ explain why it's that. Lying Denial Playing Victim Changing their mind when the arrest/consequences gets real Blaming others/something other than self Cursing at law enforcement Resisting being cuffed/ getting into cop car Not complying with demands Double standards Minimizing the problem/impact/situation Rationalizing Playing Dumb Trying to manipulate lower enforcement with emotions Catastrophizing Making appeals to identity / Identity-based justification Not sitting still/ not being quiet when asked to do so. The assumption that they'll actually be able to manipulate their way out of trouble/ law enforcement Selfishness/Bias (Free Space) Stubbornness Closed-mindedness Inability to admit when wrong, despite evidence presented Being distrustful of Law Enforcement, to the point where it makes the situation worse What else is can you come up with?

My first thought to this is "we'll see"

I lacked experience with eating weed directly like this. I had gummies and chocolate. So I'm actually disconnected from understanding how much of the physical plant would do what. I also heavily conformed to group think. Believing that "it wasn't gonna be that much." I even fought for a lighter dose despite being met with heavy judgement of "you're not gonna feel much with that." It started from a golf-ball size dose which was "the typical dose," and I took an eighth of that. I also lacked finding sufficient information on Bhaang. I was also depressed and was open to taking something for an insightful trip. In my mind I didn't think weed was the majority of the ball, like it was 80% other herbs. In essence, I didn't think that amount of Bhaang was going to impact me that much. So basically poor sensemaking all around.

11 Attempts of 5-MeO-MALT - Trip Reports Date: July 24th 2023 - May 26th 2024 I want these trip reports to serve as documentation of my commitment to the psychedelic process. Table of Contents: 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0001 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0002 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0003 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0004 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0005 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0006 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0007 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0008 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0009 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0010 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0011 Preface before going into 5-MeO-MALT I have to remind myself that 5MEOMALT may not work for me. May not be safe for me. And I must go slow and cap it at a point where it seems unsafe. Not to be worried, but to be informed. 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0001 - I got nothing. Date: July 24th 2023 Dose: Plugged 1/2 a level 5-10mg microscoop. I eyeballed splitting it in half, like a boss. Did 2 enemas beforehand. Basically overkill. I think fasting and taking a dump is adequate. Intention: What is the True Nature of Reality? Time: Taken at 2:25pm Plugged the first half at 0.6ml mark on the syringe 18 minutes in - Subtle floor breathing? 42 minutes in - This ain't shit. Plugged 2nd half @3:21pm, an hour in from the first dose. Plugged at 0.4ml mark on the syringe 1 hour in - Subtle waves in the popcorn ceiling maybe? Subtle squeezing in the visual field. 1h 30min - Maybe feeling an onset? Pressure in the head? 2h ain't feeling shit. End of report. Post report: Yeah this was a dud. I am disappointed. Might just need to dose much more of the substance. Assuming the ROA is correct, because I have plugged LSD before and it worked phenomenally. 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0002 Date: July 25th 2023 Attempt 1 out of 2 Dose: Snorting 3/4 of a micro-scoop of 5-MeO-MALT. (5-10mg scoop, supposedly) Time: Taken at 8:18AM - Feeling the subtle tingling in my nose. 33 minutes - snorted the rest of the scoop. So now there is 1 scoop total in my nose. Felt the tingling burning sensation in my nose. Feeling dizzy, lethargic, light headed. Certainly feeling LESS conscious, not more. Feeling a bit nauseated and sick to my stomach a bit. I would very likely throw up if I tried to eat. Nose bleeding a tiny bit. 4h 30 min - I feel completely back to normal. Attempt 2 out of 2 Dose and time: Plugging 1.5 scoops at 12:51PM (1 scoop = 5-10mg supposedly) Slightly uncomfortable to plug some liquid. Feeling a tiny bit of activation in my brain. Specifically at a concentrated point like in the center front. Kinda hard to point to. Nothing yet. Subtle visuals of squeezing in the ceiling. That's it. End of Report. 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0003 Date: July 26th 2023 Dose: Okay so let's try plugging 2.5 scoops. Supposedly 5-10mg each scoop, (But I'm calling BS) Time: Plugged at 11:56AM Pictured: 2.5 Small-Yellow micro-scoops in a spoon. 21 minutes - Feeling an onset. 30 minutes - There is definitely something activating. Feeling of stimulation in the brain. But no notable effects beyond that feeling of stimulation/activation in the center of my head. My experience was just 3 hours of that subtle feeling of pressure in my head. I'm pretty darn sure that you wouldn't easily overlook the effects of this psychedelic. The desired effects are not taking effect. The effects that I DO FEEL I feel are timed exactly as I expect 5meomalt would. 20 minute wait to feelings of an onset - Check! 4 hours later, I'm no longer feeling anything at all. - Check! I suspect that I'm not taking nearly enough, as the bag is only 100mg, and I haven't made much of a dent in it as I should've by now. Perhaps I just have a crap batch? Perhaps it expired? The substance is a year old since I've received it. Just stored it in my closet, no special leaving it in the freezer or anything. End of Report. 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0004 Date: July 27th 2023 Dose: 5 Small Yellow microscoops (pictured) According to my scale of weighing the bag before and after, this is 9mg. Time: Dissolved in water and Taken @2:28pm Subtle squeezing in the ceiling. I’m definitely feeling something, but nothing is blowing my mind yet. No cool psychedelic effects, just pressures in my head impacting my ability to focus and whatnot. Maybe like 1/10 high but like no desirable effects are actually present. I'm going to shelf 5-MeO-MALT for now, and I also ran out of supervision time for now. I think I'll try smoking half a scoop at some point just to see if the batch is good at all. I'm highly skeptical that I am THAT tolerant to 5-MeO-MALT. I have 2g of 5-MeO-DMT, I would rather go take a micro-scoop of that and get my mind blown more reliably. End of Report. 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0005 New batch from a different source. The powder is white instead of brown. Reagent testing checks out. Date: August 29th 2023 Dose: Did 1 Red microscoop. It dissolved well in water. Time: Plugged at 12:01 Intention: What is the True Nature of Reality? 7 minutes in - Possible tingling sensation 12 minutes - An uncomfortable feeling, an unease? 15 minutes - Felt a zing of activation. Feeling a tingling sensation in the brain. 20 minutes - Feeling a tingling and sensitive feeling. The dose is still too low. End of Report. 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0006 Date: Sept 4th 2023 Dose: 2 red microscoops of 5-MeO-MALT Time: Plugged at 5:30pm. Last meal was at 9-10 AM today I’m experiencing brain activation definitely going on, but nothing is blowing my mind. 39 minutes - I’m definitely experiencing things. Possible elevation in mood, increased sensitivity in emotion. My brain is being tingled right now. Feels metallic. So I was getting high, and it was hard to focus. Experiencing sensitivity, tingled/spongled brain sensations, mood enhancement, immersion enhancement. End of Report. 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0007 Date: September 20th 2023 Dose: 3 Red Microscoops of 5MEOMALT Intention: What is Actuality? What is the True Nature of Reality? 21 minutes - Kicking in. I’m getting that rushing water feeling when you're high. As if a firehose of water 3 meters in diameter is directly pointed at you and in front of you. Overall, nothing profound happening at all here in this trip. End of Report. 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0008 Date: October 23rd 2023 Dose: 5 red Scoops of 5-MeO-MALT Time: Plugged at 6:47pm Intention: What is God? What is Reality? What is the true nature of reality? Start of Report: So I'm an hour in, I'm definitely High but nothing is blowing my mind, I’m not even experiencing a psychedelic state like you would have on psilocybin or LSD. I don't think I'm experiencing any creativity enhancement or anything like that. I am acutely aware of the shadows I see as I walk around. Kind of feeling like I'm walking in a soup. 1h 26min - Subtle Visuals of squeezing in the popcorn ceiling. End of Report 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0009 > Trip Report is not found. Dose was 8 micro-scoops. > Nothing of note, more of the same. 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0010 Date: May 22nd 2024 Moving on to the Big Yellow Scoop Last trip attempt was 8 red Scoops. A single big yellow scoop appears to be 2 red scoops. For this attempt, I will try 4 leveled Yellow Big Scoops. Dose: 3 Big Yellow Scoops of 5-MeO-MALT HCL. 1/2 Tablespoon with AAA and AA Battery for size reference. (Pictured) I anticipate this to be as uneventful as last time, as this should be equal to the dose that I took last time. Time: Taking at 8:20. 8:20 p.m. and my ass immediately Burns. I've been fasting for 5 hours. Intention: What is God, what is love, what is truth? What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck am I doing in reality if I do not design my life perfectly how I want to live it? Every day is an opportunity to beautifully orchestrate and design my life to be beautifully designed with a path of my choosing. Really really fucking high right now. 26 minutes in. Getting Visuals of squeezing. > CLEARLY, I was still sober enough to write. 34 minutes - Moving in the hardwood floors To even have a form is to make yourself forget that you are an infinite power. My body is shaking a bit. What is Selfish? Self-ish? There is no orientation in reality. It's like zero gravity. Meaning reveals itself when parts of your self starts to die. You see the REAL footholds of what is holding your life together. I need to challenge myself to focus on reading everyday. That will teach me a lot if I can learn to read for an hour a day. That will teach me a lot about life and how to organize my life to get that done. 1h 58 minutes - I am noticing very significant visuals in the wooden floor. Squeezing, moving floor. It looks like pretty much all psychedelics have visuals for me. Noticing visuals of when I look at the mirror. I'm experiencing full on projection of imagery of visuals on the floor if I just sit and stare for too long. This reminds me of N,N-DMT, even though I haven't experienced N,N-DMT before. Definitely nothing is blowing my mind yet. But I can say for the first time I'm actually getting high. It appears that Life purpose is less a fixed truth and more a surrender to what you are. It functions as a construct that gives direction rather than an objective mandate. People often define purpose through what they feel most attuned to, yet attunement itself is shaped by choice and practice. Purpose is not found but continuously enacted through what you decide to cultivate. (chatGPT assisted for clarification) I know in my heart that I am a teacher. And I want to be teaching people deep lessons about themselves such that they can strengthen themselves for the challenge of life ahead. I have had desires to master art, but if I was a digital artist, I would not be satisfied. I would be leaving so much on the table. It wouldn’t align with the value I truly wanted to create. If I just mastered digital art for example, I feel like my capacity to contribute to others would be greatly diminished. I believe my greatest capacities lie in an ability to teach others how to master the flow of life. Like a Leo Gura / Wayne Dyer type. I do wonder if my need to be a therapist is just my need for connection. I still wonder: What if I genuinely took on working out as a hobby? Like I named it as my hobby and I actually went to science on it. Took on bodybuilding as a serious hobby… I'm at the point right now that: I realize that the only way I'm going to go further is out of a raw desire for truth itself. Say the trip felt like a persistent background anxiety, but I’m familiar enough with that state that it didn’t stand out much. What really stood out was the mental fog. My thoughts were jumpy, scattered, distracted. There was no real focus. I wasn’t sitting and meditating or deliberately attending to my experience, and that probably explains most of it. I was just walking around, passively taking things in. (chatGPT assisted for clarity) If I were to do this again, I’d keep the exact same dose but radically change the approach. The emphasis would be almost entirely on stillness, sustained meditation, direct observation, and intentional contemplation. I did listen to Leo’s guided exercise about realizing you are God, and hearing it now lands differently. In an earlier trip, I had very intense glimpses into solipsism, but this time there was none of that. Mostly because I wasn’t actually focusing on anything. (chatGPT assisted for clarity) What did come through strongly was the sense that waking reality itself is a dream. That recognition was intense and honestly terrifying, and I noticed myself immediately distracting away from it. (chatGPT assisted for clarity) At this point kind of at an interesting Crossroads presents itself: Where if I continue to keep going and push higher doses, contemplate and do more on these pure ego dissolving substances, then I have to do it out of a serious love for truth and I have to be ready to let go of all my Illusions in reality. For me at least so far, I don't get any extreme creativity boost or anything like that like you would get on psilocybin. For me, I can take 5 grams of psilocybin mushrooms and have a lot of reliable good insights just from taking a dose and even with no plan at all. Whereas I feel like with this substance you have to absolutely be dialed in and focused and not distract yourself at all to really get the juice out of it. This psychedelic is not going to throw you into the abyss, you have to walk off yourself, it just grants me the ability to do it. > Upon Reflection in December 2025, this interpretation was just missing that my dose was just too low. If I had a proper dose to send me properly, I wouldn’t necessarily have to focus, because the psychedelic would hit me like a train. That does not negate the fact that focusing your consciousness still appears to be important with your trips. There may be a lingering sense of ego death or something that was creating the anxiety because of course anxiety is just a defense mechanism from the ego dying, some part of the ego construct dying. And that did instigate a lot of much more serious thought about my life and like what the fuck am I doing. It makes me think how I want to enter a volunteer position doing hospice to just get some brutal reality of what it's like to be at the end of your life that will serve some really good self reflection for me. At this point, I’m experiencing a fear that using these ego-dissolving substances will also dissolve what little motivation I already have, since productivity is something I already struggle with. That fear sits right at the center of the crossroads I keep returning to. If the illusion of reality really drops away, it feels like you also lose a reason to participate. You’re no longer driven like some productivity god. But the truth is, that mode is already mostly gone for me. What I actually want now is to surrender to whatever this ego is genuinely satisfied doing and commit to it fully, almost like a religion. To put it at full tilt and master a craft through daily, deliberate effort. What I want is steady movement toward mastery. Real progress every day, not the feeling of standing still. My biggest issue has been fragmentation. My focus keeps splitting between writing, YouTube, life coaching, or sometimes abandoning everything altogether. With too many options, none of the needles move. I end up stalled by choice itself. (ChatGPT Assisted for clarity) It's crazy to see how Clarity Works where I'll be clear on something but then I'll deconstruct it and I won't be clear about it, but then I'll learn to reconstruct it again with a stronger foundation and then I'll be even more clear than ever that that is what I want to do with my life. I keep circling the question of what truths I actually want, and whether that is even something I get to choose. Can I decide which truths to face, or do they just impose themselves? Part of me wonders if I could choose a hard truth on purpose. To stop distracting myself with ideas of success and instead fully own my difficulty coping with being alone. To let that be the work. (ChatGPT Assisted for clarity) Another part of me wonders whether I should go all in on the enlightenment path. To push toward awakening, where reality is said to become pure magic and beauty. I genuinely don’t know which direction is honest. It feels like a chasm I can’t think my way across. At some point, I have to step into it and find out directly. (ChatGPT Assisted for clarity) Whatever reality turns out to be, if it’s true, I’ll eventually have to learn to stomach it. It seems better to do that sooner rather than later. This body is going to die anyway. Waiting until the final years, living in a constant fear of death, feels like postponing something inevitable. If it has to be faced, I might as well start now. (ChatGPT Assisted for clarity) Another note, my anus has definitely bled a little bit from the burning of the salt in my anus. The burning of the salt of the psychedelic has made shitting very uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that I start hoping that all these attempts are all worth it, and it's not just a fucked up prank while you're burning your ass every couple weeks trying to see God. I am pretty aware now that I genuinely don't know if this process would bear fruits as promised by many. For all I know, “Awakening” could be a fucking terrible thing and just put me in a consistent world of pain. I literally at this point can only pursue “Awakening” with a genuine hunger for understanding of what the fuck reality actually is in it's true nature. I have to be willing to bear whatever costs that pursuit comes with. I have to be willing to bear the costs of truth seeking. No fantasy of flowery awakening promises will actually push me through. Going forward, I have to dose 5-MeO in the morning, as I will have taken the psychedelic 7 hours ago, and there I am with a burning ass at 3:00 a.m., pretty much still wired awake. At one point, I was looking at the back of my hand and it looked mysterious and alien. End of Report. 5-MeO-MALT Trip 0011 Date: May 26th 2024 Dose: This dose is 4 Big Leveled Yellow scoops. I made sure to firmly pack down the powder into the scoop. Apparently it's roughly 15mg per scoop. See Picture. Time: Taken at 1:55pm The first 5 to 10 minutes was the most uncomfortable feeling in my ass of 2024. Kind of burning and just feeling that I need to shit type deal. All the while getting really high really quickly. I think I can mix it with something in the future to avoid burning. The dose may be more because I ensured it was firmly packed. Super uncomfortable sensation in the ass I just want to shit right now. 28 minutes - REALLY HIGH I'm as fucked as the rest of you guys. I just have a wider lens of insight in some areas. 50 minutes in - Came off a 20 minute phone call and grounding with my mom. Not yet used to the feeling of Ego dissolution. Listening to Leo's guided exercise on realizing you're God. Nobody is here. All appearances are just a play to distract myself. What if I paid money to go to school but it's a curriculum completely designed for myself? >This ideally looks like getting weekly life coaching! Just experienced the anxiety and panic of an Ego Dissolution. I'm just getting started. Nothing crazy I'm becoming conscious of. > Dose is still WAY TOO LOW! It kind of sucks too because on mushrooms or LSD my mind is in a hyper-creative mode and I'm making really cool insights and stuff like that; but here, it's just a regular trip with a bit of visuals and a relatively clear state of mind with a bit of ego dissolution or something. I think the guided exercise to realize you’re God is a helpful tool. I think sitting there in meditation while on a psychedelic, going through a checklist of things to strip away from my experience will be useful. > Sense Organs Are Imaginary - very good pointer - https://www.actualized.org/insights/sense-organs-are-imaginary > Guided Exercise For Realising You Are God > How To Do Self-Inquiry I would also like to just sit there in meditation and really focus on understanding what the experience of ego dissolution is. I think this will help me on my 5-MeO-DMT Journey. One thing I noticed is that there is no bleeding this time (from my anus). So it could be possible that when I inserted my syringe that I nicked my rectal walls and perhaps I nicked a hemorrhoid or something. Plus my diet had much more solid foods that day so that probably played a huge part as well whereas the last trip I had a complete blender full of a protein shake. I would say the trip for me lasts a total of 5 hours from the onset to the last after effects. Very strong in the first hour and a half, and then much more Down to Earth in the third hour, and then just kind of slowly becomes more sober in the 6th hour. End of Report.

Just imagine being so high for 2 days where your only job was to just lay down and exist in time distorted eternity until it's over.