ZenSwift

I feel like an adult is someone who consciously suffers in their efforts to build their highest self. A real man gets shit done no matter what, no excuses, no hesitation. No backing down. They have a VISION, and they get to work on it every single day. Like a father puts his children's needs above his own, a good father will have himself starve before his child does. That kind of thing. The path to Success can be very boring, difficult work, day in and day out, and the adult accepts that. An adult is able to do some really, really hard stuff. There's also adulting emotionally, ego work, etc. 9 Stages of Ego development, Spiral Dynamics, etc. An adult takes responsibility for EVERYTHING in his life. It starts to get really interesting when you start interacting with people that are much older than you and they're developmentally younger than you. Happens to me ALL the time. It's crazy. Lots of people's development is just hindered by their lack of shadow work, never integrating any of the trauma they received in their lives. That's HUGE. Most people MASSIVELY underestimate how much shadow work they need to do.

bro I can't WAIT for this level of insight. Goddamn! In time...

I remember in one of his videos he said something along the lines of; "This relationship you think we have doesn't actually exist." and "One day I want you to get to a point where you drop actualized.org and you drop me." Hearing him say that felt like the punch I needed. Out of respect I will take away my unhealthy attachment to him and fangirling. I think I have a slightly different perspective on this as well, because I plan to place myself in a very similar position as to Leo; teaching self actualization, radically changing lives. A small part of me doesn't even want me to see Leo in a bad light because then his teachings will loose some potency, but in the end I needed to let go as that attachment will hold me back.

LSD Trip 005 February 12th 2022 Imagine taking your most potent hit of acid and then when you're at your peak the world starts going into chaos and there's riots and shit outside. That's what I experienced. Like I was going for it hard in this trip. My Intentions were: So those were the intentions, basically self inquiry. Dosage: 100mcg Rectal administration. Definitely my favorite ROA because I don't get much body load. Putting one whole tab in rectally that's not cut up is A LOT easier to do because it's a nice big piece. Dropped at 10:28am 26 min. Nothing noticeable yet 30 minutes Very awkward and vibratory come-up. Very hungry, tired and a hint of nausea. 34 mins Visuals inbound. 1 hour in, feeling very conscious. Time to start doing the work. Seriously What if I'm God? What if I'm just a field of awareness that needed to create a body and an environment to fool that it is not itself? >So I just sat on the couch and tried to do some self inquiry, the best I could. YOOOOO Your mind is going to come with every excuse in the book to distract you from looking at truth, especially the absolute. If I was just a field of awareness in the room with nobody it wouldn't make any sense. Which is why I created the body. The body grounds my field of awareness in a context so I can fool myself that I am a "perceiver". And as long as "I perceive" I will have a body to back it up. What can I put my Awareness on to prove that I exist? I have no face. I created eyes as an excuse to "see". I'm so stoned that when I close my eyes, I hallucinate like I'm a camera in a different part of the world. Like I'm over at an assembly line of people or I'm literally just a drone flying somewhere. I need 5meo lol. >At this point I am thinking that it's pointless to try to get to the truth using LSD when I can just use 5meo, because I have access to it. This is literally the best stage of consciousness I've had in weeks and I'm just fucking chillin here on the bed... I'm SO DISTRACTED. I don't think I've been this bored while high. There is nothing that my mind doesn't do that is outside of my control. >Yet at the same time I control nothing... What is the substance of substance? What is the substance of substance of substance of....... >So there I was, staring at my reflection in the mirror, doing self-inquiry. Closing one eye, poking the the other eyeball as I observe my vision shift. Also thinking about how ugly I appear to be in that moment, you know, in a loving way, just chilling really, loving the moment. >Then out of nowhere, the ringing from the silence that was in my ears got louder, it got really REALLY loud. I heard it coming from somewhere. I opened the window of the bathroom I was standing in, I realize that I'm hearing honking, SO much honking. I thought some building was on fire. It was complete chaos. I had NO IDEA what was going on. I step outside and I see these people speeding down the streets with their loud as fuck horns and honking the horns of the cars. I swear someone had a war horn or something. Shit was loud as FUCK. The entire neighbourhood was screaming loud. It was really distressing. Instantly, the whole world was chaos, and I was basically in fight or flight mode, WHILE peaking on a very potent dose of LSD. I was like “YOO WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!” I was thinking like there's like a group of terrorists, extremists something. I was also laughing at the chaos. I asked people that were in the house what the fuck was that, and they didn't know! I felt like I was in the middle of WW3 or some shit lol. Like I was genuinely concerned if I needed to defend myself and the house. I only found out several hours later that it was this thing called “the freedom Convoy” that's been happening all across Canada. Dude what the fuck. I had ZERO idea of what this was. >So this basically threw my LSD trip off the rails. I eventually just gave up and used my LSD state to think about survival. This has basically been my fallback intentions anytime I can't focus on the more metaphysical stuff. >Side note, when you close one eye and poke your eye, (touching your eyelid, not the eyeball itself.) and your vision shifts that is literally changing reality as it absolutely is, isn't it? Using a perception to change a perception? It's like how a taking a psychedelic is a perception that changes reality, which is nothing but perceptions. So in this case instead of consuming a psychedelic, it is your finger poking your eyeball. Reality is the device that contains stories. The social matrix is a system to create a homeostasis around the loudest stories. Without the story of the freedom convoy, I would be very worried about what the fuck this group was up to. >Thinking about how I imagine everything in reality. I'm going to imagine the rest of my life. I'm going to imagine what it feels like to create myself. (Align with my life purpose) That is the gift I give myself. To be able for the first time, survive as this "being of consciousness" in this "given reality" to discover his place in the world that HE FUCKING IMAGINED. >We are the Director, the Producer, and the Viewer. We come into this world to create attachments, to grasp onto something, otherwise, it wouldn't mean anything if we realized we were just grasping sand. Here's a decent question: What would I have to do to fool myself that I am not GOD? Why you need to track your time: You need to sacrifice a bit of your time to keep track of the rest of it. If you can spend 10% of your time to make sure you're spending the other 90% really well, you're good. That's like 1-2 hours a day planning. That's plenty of time. >For many this is obvious, but for me this hit different. To construct a life purpose, you must know first how to deconstruct it. You must be the knower that you are the one that constructs all meaning, purpose and value. I really need to train my consciousness more. I need to set aside time to Meditate. My ability to focus is shit, and it's causing problems. Here's an interesting insight. States of consciousness. Creativity is a state of Consciousness. Inspiration is a state of consciousness. Motivation is a state of consciousness The mode when the ideas are flowing to you effortlessly IS a state of consciousness. Dude what the fuck! Success is LITERALLY just a state of consciousness. Feeling like you're going to be successful is a state of consciousness. Feeling like you're on the path is a state of consciousness. Being focused is a state of consciousness. Your state of consciousness determines your life. Having the motivation to turn your life around is a state of consciousness. And all of these states of consciousness can be induced manually. Being unfocused as I am is the gift I give myself. Because when I can figure out how to focus THIS DUDE, I'll know a lot about how I can train others. I want to write a really inspiring piece of poetry. Just like Prince EA. https://youtu.be/ja-n5qUNRi8 To have motivation, I need to put myself in the grip of life, I need to put myself in touch with death. I need to CAPTURE that state of consciousness. The one that doubts themselves the most can teach themselves to doubt themselves the least. How can I get myself into the state of consciousness so that I FEEL like I'm on the path. While knowing that I'm not fooling myself. A state of consciousness where you KNOW that you are giving it your all, where you are pushing yourself to constantly grow yourself. Stay in that state of consciousness long enough and you'll manifest the success you want. One of the greatest joys in life is to create something beautiful. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to make your life a work of art. At the end of the day I proceeded to have a 5 hour conversation with my good friend, making plans to move out, talking about a bunch of motivational shit. >The following morning... So I had mega broken sleep for the entire night. I was basically trying to sleep while half high. So THAT was interesting. I kept constantly thinking about the ramifications of the conversation I had, and I think because I was still on acid, I actually programmed in some of that drive because this morning I am realizing just how real it's going to get when we are living together. I laid in bed for a significantly shorter amount of time and I got up, made my bed and got myself dressed and ready to work. I'll need to practice self inquiry sober for awhile before I get into doing it again on psychedelics. Gotta crack open the neti neti book. I need to practice the Enlightenment guides a lot more as well. But I'm also just going to see what 5meo can do for me as well. Sometime this year...

So much mentioning about talk therapy in this thread, what about EMDR therapy, NLP, or Hypnotherapy? EMDR is super powerful if you have an actually competent therapist that knows what they're doing. Just wanted to drop this thought here.

The one who loves their Craft the most Wins in their domain.

This guy is my spirit animal. He's right up my alley of type of motivational speaking.

Enlightement is just a maintained state of consciousness? Is Enlightement even a thing that can be very specifically pointed to?? Or is there just degrees of Awakening? Is Enlightement just a maintained state of consciousness? What's the difference between an Awakening and an Enlightement? What does the word "Enlightement" point to? For me it seems like enlightenment is when you are able to maintain a state of consciousness that you are conscious of absolute Truth. And then on the other end there is the several degrees, facets and depths of "Awakening"? Yes? I suppose I'm creating a distinction between Enlightement and Awakening. Where Enlightement is like a benchmark for progress in raising your consciousness, and the word Awakening is a more relativistic term. Awaken to what? Absolute Love? Absolute Truth? Infinite intelligence? Omniscience? God realization? The other infinite facets and depths of Awakening? Whereas the word "Enlightement" for me seems to point to a specific Awakening accomplishment. Like tapping into the absolute and meeting God for the first time. And being able to maintain that STATE of consciousness. Or being able to maintain at the state of consciousness of no self. Etc etc. Do you think this distinction between enlightenment and Awakening is necessary/useful? Do I have it all wrong? Am I just full of foolish speculation and mental masterbation? Let me know your thoughts.

Man, imagine having a sustainable Awakening to that.

I want to learn to dance, create music, teach, tell powerful stories, write powerful poetry, motivate, inspire. Create and speak powerful motivational speeches. Write powerful books. I want to learn how to hypnotize people into becoming incredibly driven. I'd love to cultivate the knowledge and abilities to create a massive catalyst in people's lives in a day or even as short as an hour. Which is why I also considered being a medicine man cuz psychedelics exist. I'm really into entertaining the idea of a very niche form of mentorship/ life coaching where you live with the person and mentor them all day. Similar to what David Goggins does. It would be an amazing opportunity to practice massive amounts of integrity. I possibly even at some point want to really learn how to draw photorealistic art, some mega surreal stuff, really powerful art. I consider directing music videos and film pieces that would spark an emotional change in people. I'm interested in going deep into lucid dreaming because I dream really deep and a whole lot. Would be really cool to self inquire in a lucid dream. I did it once by touching walls and saying "physical, PHYSICAL, physical". I'd also seriously consider learning how to channel. Channeling whatever really. 5th dimension entities, the dead, past lives, whatever. Something that requires a massive training of intuition. I also want to learn sign language - Learn to dance inbetween everything when a song comes on. Just start inventing shit and pay attention to flowing your body to the music. All skillsets are about the VOLUME of practice. I dance in the kitchen a lot. Look at a dance move or two online that you like and learn how to do it and incorporate it into your freestyle. Life is a lot of times lived in the moments inbetween. Gotta do a little samba baby! .. How I've reconciled all these passions is to devote all of my time to the most important ones. Especially the fundamental ones that will transfer over to others. Be willing to focus on one narrow domain and kill the rest. A specialist is always more impressive than a generalist, simply because all humans struggle with this one problem of focus and mastery. Especially in the west.

I like that.

I've been studying Leo more, rewatching video after video to go deeper into understanding the nuances. It has come to my awareness that the very mechanism of the mind IS denying truth, and this is what creates the illusion of reality itself. Can you just straight up deny the absolute? Isn't the only thing that's true is the absolute? What's right here in "my" current consciousness. I believe I did this at some level with my last mushroom trip report. But that makes me think, I probably didn't grasp the absolute nature of reality. >"I definitely wasn't penetrating anything super profound here." @Nahm said something that really made me think in a different direction. "Truth is self evident, the veil is believing thoughts." This really made me think of the value of a cessation... Pure awareness, no thought or projections. Direct access. I thought when you realize the absolute it becomes undeniable? But you need to notice it subtly? Which requires a massive raising of consciousness I assume, which is why 5meo would do the trick? I also believe I heard Leo say something about how truth can be a very subtle thing that can be easily overlooked, and it doesn't actually overwhelm your denial. Someone's probably going to say "yeah the truth is right here and you've been denying it your whole life". Any pointers is appreciated.

Leo's teachings have given me the keys to unlock my genius and full potential. I love Leo very much. He is one of my favorite imaginations. The way I want to pay Leo back the most is by embodying his teachings. I will do this by becoming one of the most conscious people on the planet, while also manifesting my life purpose that will aid in evolving mankind to higher consciousness. When I get very popular and have my life purpose established, I don't think I'm going to be shy with talking about what my influences were.

This hit different.

@Yali yes.

@Leo Gura Please make it no more than $1k. Obviously my bias is going to be towards a lower price than this even. Also, you're probably already thinking about this, but you can dispel a lot of the wrong people from buying it by marketing it correctly as well. No flashy sales page, just straight to the point. Maybe an even more creative solution is required?

Dayum bro you inspire me! Can't wait to start game when I'm back in the city again. Great progress! >She is 30, I am 22. Can I be you right now? I still have zero idea how I'd pull a significantly older women like that.

To break down your selfishness with regards to learning you need to first understand what pragmatism is. Through my contemplations I've realized that you can never know what will someday become practical. How pragmatism is a notion that hinges entirely on your survival bias. Therefore, learning about everything is just feeding more data to the system because everything is interconnected anyways. Even if that just means learning about something is just adding more metaphors to your web of understanding. The more reference points you have the more you can triangulate/construct an understanding that is benefitial.

Holy shit dude that's rough. You make my life look like an absolute cakewalk. This problem reminds me of this video.

Context + Assumptions =Ego The Ego is a web of tightly knitted contexts. Completely Constructed: A hodgepodge of constructions. When you look for yourself, it's like peeling an artichoke, looking for a fruit at the center. Only to realize that it was all just a construction. (Ego is the Triangle) (Ego is the Rectangle) You are the cat playing with the ball of yarn not realizing that the ball of yarn is yourself. Additional GIF https://cdn.fs.teachablecdn.com/wshI0S6HQLOyrDLfogs5

From: Exercise #12: Noticing The External World Doesn't Exist "Now -- here's a doozy -- notice that you actually DO have a direct experience of absolute reality. That direct experience is.... NOTHING!" --- I don't understand. What are some more pointers? I'll be tripping to these questions. Edit: this post might just be my ego distracting me from doing the exercises.

Thankyou guys for the input.

I believe it is a rite of passage that EVERYBODY must pass through on their personal development journey; to shed all the low consciousness people in their lives.

This so much. Also one on practicing the skill of holding love. Or is that the satisfaction meditation episode?

For me it's easier to sleep when I'm horny ? I have something to think about to lul me to sleep. Plus having an erection stops be from feeling the need to pee for the 7th time before bed.