ZenSwift

So this idea of rectal Route of Administration was from this thread: One thing that I CAN confirm right off the bat is that the come up IS twice as fast. Anyways... LSD Trip 002 - My First Mega Download November 24th 2021 This is the first trip where I really let my self dial in focus on contemplating the nature of reality, and the rapid flow of insights kept me up till 6am. I think you'll find some very interesting things if you read this report in full. Also, I am letting you know that I am leaving many things in this report. Things such as stuff related to my life purpose that doesn't need to be shared for the purposes of posting it here. But to also distill it down to the most juicy bits. Also, the things that I find the most interesting, will be bolded, underlined, made bigger, highlighted, etc. >Lines that have ">" are written after the trip (A week later) Trip Report Intention: What is Context? So while tripping I listened to Guided exercise for realizing you are God. I need to take notes on this and identify each individual point that I have grounding my reality. >I know now that I need to further define things such as what does Leo really mean when he says Biology. >The reason why I need to further define these things is because when the idea is fully present, then that's what you know what you are letting go of. It's hard to let go of something that is vague. Which is why the ego must become more present in order to let it go. Woke up. Did an enema 3 -4 times. Dose: 50mcg LSD Taken @ 12:10PM, Rectally. ( Just put the raw tab in my butt, half a finger depth, nothing fancy, next time I might try to dissolve it in vinegar and then a couple drops of coconut milk [As Leo suggested in a thread] and see if it does anything differently. ) Proceeded to clean my room. I put my phone in Focus mode 18 mins Subtle energy shift in the chest? 24min Maybe some vibration in my chest? 34 min Kicking in Frosted glass is moving. Body feels different, Consciousness different The comeup is like a vibratory "anxiety". But it can totally just be interpreted as excitement. >The comeup is definitely twice as fast with rectal ROA, people have experienced the tripping time being cut in half as well, but that MAY or may not be the case. Because at least for my body I'm not sure how long LSD actually lasts for me, it could last 24 HOURS for me, rather than 12. I know that when I compare myself using THC edibles with my friend, 2 hours later after my friend has come down, I am still flying. 43 min Yawns Tired Pupils dilated 1h12min You can trip about contemplating the same thing over and over and go deeper and get more value. The mind is the net that holds reality in it. > I would now rephrase it as: You mind creates reality by interweaving a web of contexts. Without the network of the mind, reality doesn't hold. Without context, there's no reality. What you call "reality" is just a context. Consciousness is spawned in the moment. The moment feeling like forever is BECAUSE that is all there is. This moment can be whisked away thanos style, snap of fingers. Everything is being held together. In this moment. The eternal now. And at some point, it COULD just not exist. But yet it does atm... Opening your mind to the point of crazy is simply opening your mind enough... It's a double edged sword. It's that freedom of consciousness >When you open your mind this far, it gives you freedom to create any story about reality and it will be true for you. Which is why it opens you mind to levels of crazy, which is WHY you can EASILY believe that you are a prophet, because when your mind is open enough, it is simply the case when you make it so. When the mind is so open, you can write ANY story about it and call it truth. The amount of responsibility you take when you open your mind this much is insane. Enlightenment is simply just stripping all context. To the point that it deconstructs your ego, your self. All the ideas grounding you in this room, then all the ideas grounding you in the body. Then all the ideas grounding your consciousness in your head. >I think so. I have the freedom to imagine anything, yet the only thing that happens is this experience. Why is that the case? How do I get out of my head? >I still believe that "I" am in between my ears. I can see very clearly now that the ego is what gets in the way. It grounds reality stronger than an idea. 4hours in, still going hard Reality is just a tightly-knit context. So tightly knit that it feels real. It seems real. But it's a net of context. It's so tightly knit that the illusion is TOTAL. As you unwire each strand of the net you realize just how loose it is. Once you unwire enough strands then you realize that IT IS A NET. >You unravel the illusion. You becoming conscious is you becoming conscious of how Consciousness creates itself. Of how reality weaves itself into a net suspended up in the air with no ground. This full realization of all the contexts I create would reach a peak if my ego was dead. Which is why I see now the serious practicality of doing 5 MeO DMT. And I see how you need to be like there for a while to understand what the hell is that space. I need the neti neti method right now. >I listen to this right to hour 16, where I'm constantly pausing it and writing down more and more insights, keeping me up to 6am. I wonder how powerful it would be if Leo was sitting right here hammering me with questions about self. Like guided self-inquiry. I need to deeply understand what is Fear The search for the true self STARTS when you strip away all context. >This includes stripping away the contexts that you are attached to, which are the contexts that ground your ego. 4hours, 48 min Still going hard. Going deep as I can. Is the "I" present when this body dies? I feel like there's gotta be this big letting go moment. Like my ego is holding on. "I" cannot be sight because that is not ever present. Am "I" a constant? What is that? 5h Visuals in the wall still going hard The amount of concentration I have is unbelievable. I've built up an insane amount of momentum here. It seems like an ego death, an enlightenment is simply a momentum build up? I see how an enlightenment requires momentum. Which makes sense as to why Leo says that a retreat is what's necessary for an enlightenment. I can SEE now how much wage slavery can take away from this momentum. The things that you are alone with are where you're forced to be an expert on. To become awake, I feel like I just gotta do boatloads of self-inquiry for it to work. Patiently neti neti'ng myself over and over. Doing psyches to help during this process. The neti neti method is making you become conscious of certain things. What does it mean to open the mind? To get the courage to see the reality constructs that you create? Your enlightenment search is fueled by your curiosity in finding yourself. 6h 14 min I might actually be coming down now. "What is Context?" It's a perfect question to ask and trip about several times over. Why does the mind love patterns? Because of its ability to give your reality a construct. A context. A context is a pattern that is recognized. >A context is what grounds your reality, making your ego seem more real. The more contexts, the more TOTAL the illusion is. 6h 52 min Sobering up a bit? Still MEGA concentrated. What is Value? To create value is to create a suspended network. Value is a suspended network grounded in context, grounded in absolutely nothing. Why do I feel the need to be better than everybody else? Even if that means just me being better in my own very specific way? Is it because that way I will have a sense of mastery? A sense of accomplishment? At this point I was drawing and writing stuff down, trying to comprehend the magnitude of Leo's genius with his vision of Actualized.org. There is nothing to accomplish, yet reality pushes me in ways in order to evolve my consciousness. The way reality functions is it's evolution. There's nothing to accomplish, yet I'm stuck in a situation where I feel pain if I don't do stuff. An ego was created as a tool. In this tool is very useful because it gets things done. There's too much demonization of the ego. Rather it must be just understood of what it is and the role it plays. It plays a very important role. Without the ego it would be a lot worse in terms of getting stuff accomplished. ^^^but that is all ego justifications. Without ego it's okay if you die. >^The Ego is fighting Ego. I intuit that I must first build a massive lattice structure of understanding in order to get to that enlightenment point. 7h 30 mins Pretty much sober. But it's hard to tell because of the amount of momentum that I built up with my concentration over the past several hours. My head has been massively worked. After I am well versed in stripping away all of reality Constructs, that is when I will smoke 5meo, plug 5meo. At that point enlightenment will be easy to attain. "I" am a lattice structure. >The ego is a tightly weaved context weaved in itself. Creating the FULL and TOTAL illusion that it exists. Just like negative space art. >I am starting to understand how "you" are the triangle! >Each circle is the context that you ground yourself in. You can always deepen your understanding on every single idea, on every single word. You can deepen your understandings of every single thought. Is it possible for the eyeball to look at itself seeing? >Is it possible for consciousness to look at how it creates itself? >Is it possible for consciousness to be conscious of consciousness? 8h Still mega focused in thought. Deconstructing realities contexts. I need to patiently shake each assumption of reality loose. >Like how the brain doesn't exist. This here really helped me and I understand it a lot more now since I read it during my trip. And Even now I understand it more. >Also I think I now understand this more >Reality appears as it is, as itself. It it not grounded in anything. Whatever contexts that you project onto it is also reality because that is reality IS'ing as the context being projected through your rose coloured glasses of perception. Now I want to watch Leo's video, What is perception? [Checkpoint 1] >Reality IS ITSELF AT EVERY LEVEL. If you zoom in, it spawns as reality at that level, if you zoom out, it spawns at that level. But they're not grounded in eachother, they're not made up as eachother, but when you investigate, you can create a STORY that is the case. BECAUSE reality can be infinitely zoomed in, but it doesn't mean that lets say that your hand is made of atoms. Your hand is made out of itself, as itself, as it appears right now. >At least that seems to be the case... Your confidence is grounded in context. >SERIOUSLY! If you are not confident in a situation, change the context, and if you are able to open your mind enough to actually belive the stories you tell yourself, then that confidence will come effortlessly. [Checkpoint 2] >Which brings me to another point that I am starting to realize about the dangers of this work, and that is the dangers of deconstructing reality this much and opening your mind this much. If you are able to deconstruct reality to the point of throwing away all context to reach the absolute, then you literally lose your mind because your mind is a tightly knit web grounded in context, and when you start pulling the web apart, you lose you mind because your mind is a construct that is suspended in nothing. But also, more importantly, when you realize that reality is nothing but contexts and stories, you start to learn that you can easily write your own contexts and stories, and you can just as easily believe it as truth. Which is why it makes sense as to why enlightened people can see themselves as a prophet, simply because they lack ANY epistemological rigor in their understanding of reality. SO when your mind is that open, you can believe anything to your advantage, while at the same time forgetting that you did so. And because by DEFAULT you are epistemologically lazy, you default to believe the content that you have been fed by your culture, your experiences, your people around you, and most importantly, yourself. And in fact, that is exactly what you are doing RIGHT NOW sober, in your unenlightened, mind-not-lost state! But you are grounded in the collectively held social matrix that is your reality bubble. When you deconstruct your reality this much I see how it is so easy to write your own story. And how reality magically molds to your contexts. In which I realize that reality will bend to whatever context that you project upon it. Which is how you LITTERALLY CREATE reality. >Whereas Reality with a capital R is none of that, (Reality with a capital R )is an infinite shapeshifting infinite void of nothingness, and then your ego comes along and projects its contexts onto it, creating a reality (with a lowercase 'r' ) of it's own, as a TOTAL illusion, separate from the source, the absolute. The illusion being grounded in nothing but a massive web of contexts, suspended in the air. >I see now how everything in reality is simply a web of contexts, and relationships between these contexts, suspended in the air. A Network! >This idea explains the structure of Value, how value is a collectively held hallucination, think of how any inflation happens, that's only a result of the collectively held perception. Such as the dutch tulips. Value is nothing but a held perception. The "self", such as an artichoke, and you looking your self is like looking for a fruit in the center of an artichoke, peeling back every layer until you find nothing. Knowledge, how NOTHING IS KNOWN, and how knowledge is grounded in nothing, yet it exists, as a network, suspended in the air, in itself. Learning, where you realize that all learning is, is weaving an increasingly complex and interconnected web of knowledge, and how every idea leans against another. Culture, how it's a collectively reinforced massive hallucination. Paradigm, Construction (of reality), Perception. Language, such as how every word leans onto itself. Leo's YouTube channel. Why it is so valuable, because every concept leans on itself, creating a NETWORK EFFECT. This explains why every couple of months of studying Leo, my reality literally SHIFTS, simply because I have created a synergistic, network effect, connecting all these fundamental topics together, weaving them together into a strong net. This net of understanding start to take up a reality of its own. Everything, how all aspects of reality is just an infinite collection of interconnected networks. And how I am learning now that your life becomes better and better the more you understand this network because you are able to become conscious and appreciate the infinite beauty of GOD, Reality, Consciousness. I can intuit now how oneness can be so beautiful and powerful... >"reality=Network" - - (Notice how I use "reality" with a lowercase 'R') I could see myself surpassing Jordan Peterson easily. But Leo on the other hand... HAHAHAHA >How far I have come haha. I want to be able to teach as good, if not better than Leo does. You CAN'T have anything planned for your trips like this. Plans WILL fuck up your focus massively. The ENTIRE day has to be sanctioned off. Even if you were okay enough to go swimming later for example, your mind is still extremely sensitive and could be harmed with a negative experience and because of the sensitivity of your mind. It can sour the preciously aligned insights that the New Foundation was created upon. The only way I'll understand the massive amount of effort it takes to become a teacher as good as Leo is to go through the effort myself. The only way I'll understand how to make such a good teaching is by going through that process itself. That's WHERE I'm trying to understand what the process itself is! >I mean there's gotta be SOME practice routines involved in this process... >Zone of Genius work... >Anyways... To me it seems to be Learning a bunch of shit Interweaving and contemplating deeply about my understanding. Becoming conscious about a bunch of shit, such that I OWN the wisdom / teaching. Doing practice routines of how to teach it. Like just learning presentation and speaking skills in general. Teaching it. True spirituality is the most true "science". To invigorate spirit into your reality. True spirituality is truth seeking. Yo what the hell, I love truth seeking now! Realizing no self is like unwiring the Ultimate indoctrination. YOOO I fucking love religion class now. Leo's videos is religion class. I have to say that I'm becoming conscious of how your mind creates stories about everything. And how you just have to write your story to become the hero of your own story >I just noticed that I wrote down much more but it didn't save?? Fuck! > I had a lot of deep insights about manifestation itself, the structure of manifestation, and how it connects with this idea of a network. A self constructed, tightly weaved net, which is basically what all manifestation boils down to. Creating a net between your current net and the nodes you want your net to be a part of. Like the "Successful Youtube Channel" node, the "Great teacher" node. >At the end of the night at about 5AM, I start to think about pickup and how I would need to feel to be picked up, trying to get into the perspective of the hypothetical women in my mind. >My conclusion was that I needed to feel that I was everything. >I started to think about the people in my life, especially my mother, in how they make me feel like I'm everything. I cry at the love I feel. >I think of my Mom, and I text her how she is EVERYTHING I could ask for in being my mother. And how I love her very much. And that she makes ME feel like I'm everything! >I think of my best friends, and I tell them that they are everything I could ask for in a friend. > I think of my siblings, and I text them that they are everything I could ask for, and I love them very much. >I think of my dad, and how I want to say to him, that he is EVERYTHING that I need in a father, even though that is not the case at all, but I want to tell him that such that he feels love. So instead I text him that he is everything I could ask for in being my father, which is technically the case, rather than saying that he is everything >I think of Leo, and I think: LEO... YOU are EVERYTHING I could ask for in a teacher. I love you very much. >I realized that there is a deep connection with Intelligence and Beauty. Simple example, if your hair looks stupid, do it up, put more intelligence into it, then it all of a sudden becomes beautiful. >The difference between beautiful art and not beautiful art is the intelligence put into it. If you read all this, you are a real one. Trip Report Summary I'm learning about how your reality is an interconnected web of stories, ideas and contexts. I can see now that after building more foundation, I'll be soon ready for 5meo, as I see where it practically fits in gaining understanding. What's next? Creating a MASSIVE UNDERSTANDING of all these concepts The Many facets of awakening What is Love. Pt 1&2, Self Love What is Perception. What if reality was nothing but perspective? (The damn near opposite of Leo's video "What is Perception") Self Deception. What is Fear? Pt1&2 How To Discover What's True - A Deep Inquiry What is Truth? What does an awakening feel like Leo's videos on enlightement. Thanks Leo! Read books on what consciousness is. Study and create a network around the things I need to learn to actualize my life purpose. Contemplate What is Context? What is Relationship? That is my next thing to trip to? What is Beauty? What is Intelligence? What is Emptiness? What are the relationships between all of these? What is Love? What is Ego? What is Confidence? What is Value? What Makes a great Teacher? What is Learning? What is Teaching? What is Communication? Questions & Requested Feedback Can I get input on what I said in: (Ctrl+f) [Checkpoint 1] Where I talk about reality spawning as itself, not as an amalgamation of stories like atoms. I mention this a few times in the report. [Checkpoint 2] Where I talk about the dangers of unwiring reality this much. I mention this a few times in the report.

Additional Meta-Commentary on this Trip Report. Lots of additional articulations here: Parent Document of My Trip Reports

LSD Trip 002 - 50mcg Rectal ROA ~50mcg of LSD Rectal ROA Trip Report I was very excited to try out the rectal route of administration with promises of the trip time being cut in half, as well as a faster come up. Especially given the context that my first trip had taken over an hour to start to feel any significant effects. I was very pleased with the result with just how fast the LSD was able to kick in. This is my first trip where I really got some traction with contemplation combined with psychedelics. It showed me the real power of how to use psychedelics effectively to contemplate deeply about reality. The amount of insights that I was able to generate was astounding. It took me the entire night to write it all down. I stayed up all night until the next day. It was so crazy to have such a simple intention unlock so much potential. After studying the structure of language a tiny bit, I was really intrigued about the structure of knowledge and that led me to the intention of “What is context?”. I started to deconstruct reality to the point where I am starting to understand more than ever that reality is nothing but a deeply interwoven web of contexts. That's what gives everything its substance. “Reality” as you know it, physical matter, meaning, value, the mind, is all a cobbled together, tightly weaved net of contexts. Once you learn how to deconstruct these things, such as value, you can also learn how to construct them. In this way, you gain a little bit of God's power, for he is the one that has the intelligence to create and destroy. What I then learned is that enlightenment is just merely a process of focusing your awareness on deconstructing this web of contexts that makes up your direct experience. Once you’ve deconstructed your mind a sufficient amount, it will naturally lose its ability to hold water and you will naturally lose your mind. Through becoming more and more conscious of the illusions that make up reality, the more you realize that it’s all a sham, it’s all a game played by a master illusionist. This will lead to your awakenings. That is my hypothesis. I feel like when you strip all the contexts that you are attached to that is grounding your reality, you will deconstruct your self-construct/ego and all of reality around you. This is how you awaken. This is what psychedelics do. the more potent the psychedelic, the more it strips your mind of these perceived set-in-stone contexts. The reason why the ego NEEDS to go is because the EGO is the strongest attachment you have that is keeping you from the truth. It grounds reality through homeostatic defense mechanisms such as fear, anxiety, pain and suffering. It would be so counterintuitive to question the validity of your suffering because of how terrible it is to experience. Which is precisely the genius mechanism that is keeping you from Awakening. I realize the ONLY way you can reach these breakthrough experiences is by creating some serious momentum. Concentration and laser-focused intent is a vital skill to cultivate for this work. I've noticed that in my life, reality will have things line up just too fucking perfectly that will facilitate my growth. My own desires and needs are pieces of the great puzzle. When I play my part, I will further the evolution of mankind. I believe that there is way too much demonization on the ego/self-construct. The ego is an incredible tool that will allow you to bootstrap yourself effectively in order to achieve what you want in life. You have to be honest with yourself because you DO want things. If you're like the rest of the human race, you are naturally attached to accomplishing something, or getting some sort of experience out of life before you die. When you learn how to deconstruct the ego, you can learn how to construct it in ways to your own advantage. There's something very wise about being honest with yourself and knowing that the ego is an incredible tool in helping you get what you want. Ironically enough, to do all the work to learn all the shit you need to deconstruct your Ego in the first place requires ego. You need to get your ego on board emotionally so that you can do the emotionally difficult labor that is required. It's very twisted. On this trip I started to realize that reality is nothing but appearances itself. If you zoom in, yes you will see more divisions of this infinite fractal that is reality, but making the correlation that the small parts make up the big parts as cause and effect is an illusion that you have constructed and strung together in your mind to create a sense of continuity. This narrative and story is a total farce. Whereas the truth is that reality exists absolutely how it is at all levels without being grounded in any subdivisions. Each level of the holon exists perfectly without needing to lean on the other levels. However much you zoom in or zoom out of the holon, whatever you are looking at right now is how it exists at the absolute level, and it doesn't lean on any parts of the smaller holon or the bigger holons to have permission to exist. Existence needs no permission. I have started to really understand the importance of exercising epistemological rigor onto your insights and your contemplations, because when you open your mind this much, it is SO EASY to get deluded. Why? Because once you start to take your Authority back, the only thing that differentiates what you believe and what you do not believe is where you place the authority. I feel that too many people can too easily place the authority of truth in the mystical experiences that psychedelics can provide. Insights must be tested, and triple checked. They must be challenged. It is so easy to ground these insights in the frames that you've been indoctrinated with from your preferred spiritual teachings. If you’re not careful, you will unconsciously create a reality by imposing your projected contexts onto it, and because you are God, and you have absolute authority, your beliefs that you project onto reality will actually appear to be absolutely true. This is especially true if you don't have a good understanding of what absolute truth actually is. Let me try to explain that here. Imagine two lattice structures that are separated from each other. These two structures represent a web of contexts that are so tightly interconnected and interweaved that they are able to suspend themselves in mid-air as an actual “thing” Manifestation is connecting the lattice structure of your current reality and the lattice structure of your vision by building an increasingly thickened bridge between them. First, you must be able to fully articulate your current reality such that you fully understand what is going on and why things are going on because otherwise you will not be able to understand how to change any of it. Second, you have to work endlessly to Vision out how your life will look like with all of your accomplishments and goals reached. Once you have these two realities very vividly built into your mind, then you can figure out a way of how to weave them both together. The more connections and strands you weave between them, the easier it will be to take the daily action required to fulfill your vision. In other words, the more you see it, the more you'll believe it. So you need to take massive amounts of time to construct these two lattice structures very vividly in your mind, and then start to create a vivid bridge between them. The more vivid the better. As vague visions produce vague results. What is most important here is that when you finally create this Vision connecting your current reality to your ideal reality, you need to strongly identify the actions that you are taking every single day. What the fuck you are actually doing moment to moment is the most important thing to focus on because that is actually what gets you the results. I feel that it is important to mention this post as well: This is a relationship to be explored at a deeper level. If I want to make my life become more beautiful, I need to install more intelligence into it. If I want Reality to become more beautiful, I need to start to understand the intelligence behind it.

In this journal, I will discuss my progression in working with psychedelics with the goal being to work myself up to take 5MEO DMT. This journal will contain every trip report I create, so you can follow my progression, and see me overcome various fears, roadblocks and obstacles. I hope this journal serves you as inspiration to embark on your journey with psychedelics to one day do 5MEO (Assuming that is a goal of yours).

The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman.

Noted. I need to get that IPEC life coaching training sooner than later...

Decide to become a pioneer in the field. Where you are the one to teach the rest of the world these new groundbreaking insights that you generate. Make a decision to devote your entire life to it. Work passionately with love towards it every single day.

He is definitely a hidden gem.

Listen to shit loads of Wes Watson and embody his attitude towards life.

Shoving this post down the thread for those that are having a hard time finding it. Like myself.

I was pleased to find this feature a while back.

What are the best resources and techniques to really master using the tool Google? Tips and Tricks?

@Leo Gura I heard you talking about using a DMT vape pen.

Contemplation. See Leos 2 episodes Questions. See: Leos episode: The power of asking questions. Cultivate curiosity for life. Contemplate what you are naturally curious about to build the skill of inquiring. Then you can transfer that over into other existential work. Create self reflection systems where you speak to your phone camera about a quote/ piece of wisdom that you heard. Try to expand on it. Journal about your thoughts all the time and expand your thinking. Speak and write as if you are teaching others.

For me I've been stuck to Evernote because I really like the feature of being able to use typing on your phone.

Looking forward to the video. lol.

Which tools and techniques do you utilize to effectively prioritize and focus on the most important information? For context, I am an individual with reading lists that are a mile long. So for me the most important thing to focus on is setting my priorities straight such that I'm not wasting my time on the wrong thing. The goal of this thread is to explicitize the process upon which you organise what you should focus on next. One thing I have noticed is that every single year I am focussing on more and more of the correct things. But then I asked myself the question, could I explicitize this siloing process on a meta-level? Such that once it’s made explicit I will be able to skyrocket my intent and my growth. There's different ways to prioritise information such as clarifying your focus towards explicitly defined goals. This is great. There’s other ways to assess information based on assessing the teacher's psychological development. But is there something more? I feel like your ability to intuitively gauge the quality of content is based on how intelligent you are. (And I mean Leo’s definition of intelligence, not IQ) I feel like I have an implicit internal barometer that allows me to differentiate content that is valuable to me right now and stuff that isn't. This filter becomes way better as I read more and become more clear about my goals.

What do you mean @Leo Gura?

I'll make the popcorn. Does anybody want some?

Will check out

I appreciate the input!

What are the best ways to take notes? Notes for different contents? Books on the Topic? Videos on the Topic? Any input is appreciated.

What's up my fellow Philosophers?! I have BOAT loads of things to contemplate, for those that have contemplated HUNDREDS of topics, how do you manage to organize it all in your commonplace book? For me it seems that I might just make a new note document for each individual inquiry... Such as contemplating the duality of "Question vs Answer". Then another for contemplating "What is Context?", and another for "What do I really want?", So on and so forth. I can see certain categories forming, but yeah, let me know if yall have come up with any fancy organization strategies to organize your insight mining.

Basically all of my heroic dose trip reports have very high reportable levels of fear and suffering, but I don't even mention it because the high doses are just where the best insights are at, and I've become a whole lot braver. I will soon write a "bad trip" survival guide. As my entire journey has been just approaching fear after fear.

This is peak Actualized.org hours on Christmas Eve. ?