ZenSwift

Contemplation. See Leos 2 episodes Questions. See: Leos episode: The power of asking questions. Cultivate curiosity for life. Contemplate what you are naturally curious about to build the skill of inquiring. Then you can transfer that over into other existential work. Create self reflection systems where you speak to your phone camera about a quote/ piece of wisdom that you heard. Try to expand on it. Journal about your thoughts all the time and expand your thinking. Speak and write as if you are teaching others.

For me I've been stuck to Evernote because I really like the feature of being able to use typing on your phone.

Looking forward to the video. lol.

Which tools and techniques do you utilize to effectively prioritize and focus on the most important information? For context, I am an individual with reading lists that are a mile long. So for me the most important thing to focus on is setting my priorities straight such that I'm not wasting my time on the wrong thing. The goal of this thread is to explicitize the process upon which you organise what you should focus on next. One thing I have noticed is that every single year I am focussing on more and more of the correct things. But then I asked myself the question, could I explicitize this siloing process on a meta-level? Such that once it’s made explicit I will be able to skyrocket my intent and my growth. There's different ways to prioritise information such as clarifying your focus towards explicitly defined goals. This is great. There’s other ways to assess information based on assessing the teacher's psychological development. But is there something more? I feel like your ability to intuitively gauge the quality of content is based on how intelligent you are. (And I mean Leo’s definition of intelligence, not IQ) I feel like I have an implicit internal barometer that allows me to differentiate content that is valuable to me right now and stuff that isn't. This filter becomes way better as I read more and become more clear about my goals.

What do you mean @Leo Gura?

I'll make the popcorn. Does anybody want some?

Will check out

I appreciate the input!

What are the best ways to take notes? Notes for different contents? Books on the Topic? Videos on the Topic? Any input is appreciated.

What's up my fellow Philosophers?! I have BOAT loads of things to contemplate, for those that have contemplated HUNDREDS of topics, how do you manage to organize it all in your commonplace book? For me it seems that I might just make a new note document for each individual inquiry... Such as contemplating the duality of "Question vs Answer". Then another for contemplating "What is Context?", and another for "What do I really want?", So on and so forth. I can see certain categories forming, but yeah, let me know if yall have come up with any fancy organization strategies to organize your insight mining.

Basically all of my heroic dose trip reports have very high reportable levels of fear and suffering, but I don't even mention it because the high doses are just where the best insights are at, and I've become a whole lot braver. I will soon write a "bad trip" survival guide. As my entire journey has been just approaching fear after fear.

This is peak Actualized.org hours on Christmas Eve. ?

I would like to know which versions of what religious texts to read, as many of the translations of these texts are such a pain in the ass to read because it is not updated to modern English. Any suggestions are appreciated!

@BipolarGrowth thanks king ?

That's fucking awesome.

Additional Meta-Commentary on this Trip Report: Parent Document of My Trip Reports

Insane visuals for half a tab. I've got that highly connected ADHD brain or something making me super sensitive to these substances. Note: When doing my research, this was by far one of the most helpful trip reports because this girl compared and contrasted her experience with psilocybin. The psychonaught wiki was also my main source for cataloging the long laundry list of visuals you can get on LSD. Super helpful to help prepare me for the trip. October 30th 2021 Dose: About 50mcg, half a tab. Route of Administration: Sublingually. Intentions: - What is Clarity? - Self inquiry. - Getting introduced to LSD. Taken sublingually at 9:00am First 20 minutes. Start dancing to boost my state. - Alejandro by Lady Gaga - Love You Like a Love Song by Selena Gomez LEOO you gotta add this song to your playlist: - Dancing on my own by Robyn Feeling excited. I feel like it's gonna hit me when I least expect it lol. 30-40 mins Been sitting for awhile, pretty bored. A bit of yawning? A bit of nausea? Maybe? 47 mins Anxiety in chest? Mom calls me, giggles. She's my trip sitter. Something is shifting. 50 minutes A bit of nausea in the stomach Loss of focus. 57 minutes Lying on the floor with my dog, waiting for something cool to happen. Kind of bored. 1h 5min Maybe a bit of pattern recognition. Feeling slow. Breathing couch Flattening visuals. The couch and pillows are one surface. Perspective distortions. Just feel funny. Been feeling very sluggish. Clarity is the ability to see through reality. >Probably the only thing I got from this intention lol, I've already contemplated what clarity was for several hour beforehand sober. 1h 18 min Tired af, yawning af Blurred vision. Seeing colours around my phone keyboard letters. Just noticed I'm being taken under now. 1h 30 min Visuals, patterns in the snow on the tarp EXACTLY like those tree Visuals. Feel like I'm in the middle of a sleep. Giggles. Good body high. 1h 30 Visuals. Vibration. Body is vibrating. Teeth chattering. Lots of giggles. I perceive the house differently. Each space is its own room. Each spot of the room becomes its own corner of reality. 1h 41min In a really good mood. Blurred movement. >> Tracers on everyone walking around me. Visual example. When I look at my mothers face I see tracers pulsating outwards from each wrinkle on her face. Pulsating tracers on pretty much everything. Salivation. 1h 50 min Super comfortable, yet asleep, yet awake. Half in Reality, half out. Half in my head, half in conventional physical reality. Increased vision for detail. Super easy to be distracted. Super free to easily contemplate. 2h Kicked in. >I look at my arm, and the hairs on my arm are dancing to the music. > I think at around here I went for a walk with my mom, walking my dogs, and we were looking at the gorgeous mountain views. Nice and sunny, nice nippy cold, blue skies, trees everywhere, late fall season, greens and oranges and blues and golden yellows. I got this wicked holistic insight. Where I saw reality as this context-less amalgamation of evolution, and how I was just a part of that. I imagined myself as an eyeball growing out of the ground like a plant to look at myself. I saw reality from a perspective free from the several stories we tell ourselves to ground our reality in, and reality felt like a funky dream that was like walking in the dream world from the video game Tak 2. It felt like Minecraft pre-classic. Minecraft version rd-132211. I was FILLED with wonder about how strange reality actually is. This was probably the BEST part of my trip. Looking out at the mountains, realizing how mysterious it was that all of this was there. It was all consciousness, it was all foreign, it was raw. Raw reality is the most beautiful. I got a tiny hint of what it would feel like to realize that I created that mountain. >Later I look at my face in the mirror When I get home, and I see patterning on my face, my face is melting, I see a man stretched out like a starfish on my nose like mermaid man's nose cover. I see objects stretching. >Just a funny thing to add in. At some point here I went to take a piss and I looked down, I saw the toilet slanted af, it was very difficult to trust that I'm aiming properly in the toiler because I was getting so much pulsing tracers moving the toilet and not letting see a solid bowl that doesn't move that I can aim into. I look at my belly and I feel like a small vulnerable creature, extremely small and vulnerable. I look at my penis and its really fuckin small. I'm just like "Damn really?". I was thinking about things with in regards to exploring my sexuality, making me feel vulnerable as fuck, and I was like, "I am not thinking about this right now." Later... 3h17min >Around here I end up throwing my entire trip. I fucked up by having someone message me over some stupid thing that I was selling and the dude wouldn't stop bothering me for it. But what ended up happening is that became my entire reality. I felt like my strings were being pulled like I was a marionette doll. Like my consciousness was being wrapped down in vines. It snowballed and became such a huge thing so fast. My body was tense and stressed. I was deep in the quicksand, deep in the mud, deep in the tar, 6 feet under. I was super frustrated that this threw me off so much. >So this was a great learning experience in learning how to control and manage a trip going sour. I changed my environment, I walked into different rooms, etc. I managed to deal with it while on acid, and resolved the issue by letting go of the buyer, transferring the 10 bucks back, blah blah blah. Haha not fucking worth the 10 bucks. Jesus Christ. >Reality was trying to give me a warning shot. To make sure that I have EVERYTHING under control for future trips I video call @Aaron p , and he's lobotomized on 300mcg of LSD. I end up laughing so much at his inability to formulate sentences that I literally fall out of my chair and start to roll on the floor laughing. Aaron is on YouTube watching Ali g skits. "Bro let's play rocket league." I laughed so much I managed to save myself from the trip. Completely shifted the mood. Thanks Aaron. The only thing that exists is what's in your direct Consciousness. Everything else is maps, of what you think exist. Second order reality, doesn't exist right now. >I need to understand what Leo means exactly when he says first order reality and second order reality. >My vision becomes blurry, especially my left eye, it's like my eyes stop working properly. I put on my prescription sunglasses to sharpen my vision. I stare at my hand, and I experience magnification on my hand, I see the cracks in my knuckles in my skin. I see every fine little detail, it becomes HD, then 4k, then 8k. Then I see another hand in the completely opposite direction overlaid on my own hand. I'm gonna have my glasses available to me going forward. 5h 12 min Having trouble to sit down and focus. So distracted the whole trip. >I look at my hand, and the birthmark on my finger sneaked around to the other side. >I look at my curtain with a pattern flower design on it and the patters start to break apart and move in all directions along the curtain. First order reality, second order reality The difference between them is a spectrum. > Your first order reality bubble renders in from your second order reality map (?) I still don't understand the difference between first order reality and second-order reality. If I learn a million things about God, I'll be able to find God himself. > Basically describing my insight on how doing all of this consciousness work eventually adds up to enlightenment. I understand that my reality is constructed by stories. 6h When I'm selfish I suffer. What you haven't let go will cause a bigger snowball down the road. If I let go of everything I will do nothing. ---------- Earplugs help a lot with Consciousness work. And they help a lot with an LSD trip. Transformation visuals. The ceiling fan was stretching, moving, shrinking. All of my attachments are distracting me from doing Consciousness work. Having nobody to rely on me is great. Because it can get ugly when people rely on me for things that are outside of my conscious control. >Thinking about the bigger lesson of what the fuck just happened with the situation that threw off my trip earlier. Even though I ended up distracting myself away from it, it ended up lingering for me for the rest of the trip. I was out of the tar pit but I still had the tar on me. LSD is more focussed than psilocybin BUT, you still have to focus. LSD is very distracting. >You're in the drivers street but you have to still drive a bus with only two wheels on it. I think I understand what vision logic is. Vision logic is my Consciousness's way of understanding reality beyond words, but through images. Life is the biggest drama movie. The happiest man is the one who can surf all the waves at once. Becoming more conscious, taking care of your survival, taking care of your desire for relationships, taking care of your desire for sex. >Surfing all of the waves, integrating it all. Becoming the centaur. For a self to have a purpose, that is a construct that is created out of the construct of the self. The self is a construct. A purpose is a construct. As long as you believe you exist you will believe that you have a purpose. Purpose hinges on the construct of the self. Your purpose hinges on the fact that you exist. And that "fact" itself IS a construct. Everything needs to be controlled to have a good LSD trip. You can't have anybody messaging you about anything. That WILL throw your entire trip off. Even if your phone is on do not disturb. If it enters your consciousness, it will infect it totally. In TOTAL. A TOTAL INFECTION into your consciousness. When there's nothing to do, you just sit and bask with yourself, forever. At some point, I was having a small intuition into how reality transforming a psychedelic trip can have. How it's more total than you think. Sharing experience is what motivates. Share my struggle to motivate other people. The Paradox of showing my struggle to motivate other people through their struggle. And me doing that is what gets me out of my struggle. (Being a self-improvement teacher. I need to be friends with people running their own business to understand what I need to do to get my business. >I need to just understand the exact monetization steps to set up a website and to setup a product you can check out, learn how to run a well-targeted ad. Learning that will take the barriers away from getting my business of the ground. An insight is the ability to articulate something out of the confusion. Something out of the confusion WHILE in the LSD trip. I saw how man evolves their language to understand what's going on. I must evolve my language to understand what's going on. I need to build an existential vocabulary. Look at Leo's episode for that. Understand all the words he lists and the combination of knowing them all will increase your consciousness. Could you hypnotize yourself into understanding God? Make steps such that everything that enters my consciousness is aiding towards increasing my consciousness. >Proper environment design. Only making the right choices to do the right things. Does the past exist? Like evolution to get us here? is that second order reality? I'm glad I did shrooms first. I get EVERY visual on LSD. So working myself up to a moderate dose of shrooms helped prepare me massively for this trip. Because as Leo says understanding that your God is merely just a process of opening the mind. I understand that now. - Listen to Leo's guided exercise to realizing you're God audio while on LSD. A high Consciousness person is able to understand all of the constructs operating in his mind. But he keeps them there to aid in his survival. A super conscious person dies, but the physical brain and body being rigid will keep your body alive. I'm becoming conscious of several reality constructs. I can see with more trips and on substances like 5meo, how all of these constructs will fall away. You need to find out what works for you when tripping. Psychedelics wipe your context. Your context is what you ground your reality in. Leo needs a video on context itself. Does he have one? Not the recontextualization episode. Talking about how your reality is grounded in context. Yawning is a sign of something shifting in your brain. Which is why you yawn when the psychedelic is activating. Business idea Family stories catalog where tv shows can pick from them and put them in their skits for their sitcoms and whatnot. Like a steam asset store for writing stories for your tv shows. Hide my phone while tripping. Or turn off all notifications that could possibly fuck with my trip, such that I can't even SEE the messages when I look at the top pulldown tab. Then turn it all back on after my trip ends the next day. so write down somewhere all the things I've blocked. Or just hide my phone and just use my laptop on the wifi. You need a few gurus 1. Conscious as fuck for increasing your consciousness, create a map of reality so you can navigate in it. 2. School of hard knocks so you can get to work taking care of your survival needs. 3. Therapist, love, makes you feel good For example 1. Leo 2. Gary Vee / Alex Becker 3. Ralph Smart / Wayne Dyer You need multiple different perspective sources for your learning and benifit. I experienced tons of stories and scenarios throughout the entire trip. Which is why earlier I said each space feels like its own room. I'm going to start thinking about how my present actions will snowball into the future. Even the small things. I learned just how much your mind creates scenarios. And how much it takes over your emotions and how it feels. That's what's swimming around in your subconscious all day. And that will bubble up to the surface and ruin your life. Trip Recap Best insights and experiences My experience of "Raw Reality" To do Build my existential Vocabulary, Use Leos video! Learn each technical step to monetize my products. To do next time when tripping Control my environment when it comes to what can come through on my phone. Have my glasses available. Do what works. Listen to Leos guided exercise on realizing you're God. Listen to Leos guided exercise on understanding infinity. Listen to Leo's episode on why brains don't exist. Try to play voice recordings of my intentions to myself, and listen to that, and see what results I get from that. Additional things I've learned I need to think about how all of my actions, especially the selfish ones. How they could snowball. I learned how your mind creates these stories and scenarios, and it's not even reality, it's all fiction and made up. You need to massively control your environment for an LSD trip. What I got was a warning shot, so for next time I don't make the same mistake. I learned just how sensitive and influenceable you are on psychedelics. How sensitive I am to psychedelics, with the amount of visuals I got on just half a tab. I learned how much LSD wipes your context that grounds you in reality. How your reality is just grounded in context. I learned that there is something very mysterious about reality lurking around the corner, and I can't wait to find it again! Questions I have What exactly is first order reality and second order reality? Where can I read more about this? Does Leo have a video on context? Other than recontextualization? When I talked about "Raw reality", What was that?

LSD Trip Report 001 - 50 mcg Sublingual 50mcg of LSD - First LSD Trip - Trip Report I was starting to scratch the surface with just how much reality is dependent on artificial constructs. Each individual room felt like its own setting for its own personal story. In this trip, I noticed a whole lot around how stories and contexts are what ground reality. My curiosity was piqued so much that my next intention for my second LSD trip became: What is Context? I found that although it’s a whole lot easier to contemplate using LSD, you still have to make a strong conscious effort to concentrate if you want to make any significant progress in any direction LSD is like a tunnel that you keep going down in the same direction for miles on end. If you concentrate and focus hard, you can penetrate super deeply with a compound like this. On LSD you can really focus on your intention and really laser in with increasing preciseness. Whereas psilocybin is like a sporadic journey where you are jumping onto a new context every 5 minutes. This is a double edged sword. When you have a bad trip on LSD, it is likely going to stay a bad trip for the rest of the duration, and also it’s going to spiral downhill as the trip progresses. Whereas with Psilocybin, you can have a terrible trip, but then an hour later pop out of the anguish and be having a great time! This is where they say Mushrooms are forgiving and LSD is not forgiving. I was able to tap into a TINY tiny amount of where LSD can take you, where it can take you into these mystical states of mystery and wonder. Tapping into what I called “Raw Reality”, which is basically what reality is perceived like when stripped of some of its contexts, making it fundamentally more mysterious and magical. One of the most important things I learned on this LSD trip was that it is SO important to control your environment ABSOLUTELY. You need to make it such that you cannot have a single distraction for the entirety of the trip. Put signs up on your door for no doorbell ringing, no knocking, no soliciting, no religious people, NOBODY! Put earplugs in, buy a second phone that has no SIM card, where you cannot have people contact you at all! Have everything locked down and controlled as much as possible! Anything that enters your consciousness WILL completely infect you. Don’t do an LSD trip when you have ANY pressing worries such as worries around your survival.

Perhaps one day I will try this one. The several day long peak is incredibly terrifying and appealing. Considering how all psychedelics last a long ass time for me, this shit could last a whole goddamn week of just peaking. What's most appealing about that length of time peaking is that you are for fucking sure going to come out of that trip a completely different person.

Take it rectally and you'll cut the trip time in half. Have less undesirable side effects, and you'll have a more potent trip.

Additional Meta-Commentary on this Trip Report: Parent Document of My Trip Reports

Mushrooms Trip Report 008 Sept 9th 2021 2g chocolate bar shroom edible Might be a lot more potent Hiking in deep forest with family. Taken at 12:40pm 24min Feeling activation A bit of nausea. Hands looking a bit different. More colour distinction. Starting to loose myself. About 30 min mark its kicking in hard. 33min Visuals 40 min is kicked in All the trees were reaching out to me as fingers and arms. Was so drowsy and yawning like crazy. A bit of nausea. 3h It's really hard to understand reality right now. I am God trying to create, but, I wonder if I should. Just like how you have control over your imagination. You can spawn that into reality right now. >This what I believed in the moment. Probably God in an Egoic way because I have yet to realize no self lol. I could, for example, introduce a letter into the English language, and make all English speakers use it in their language. I don't want to hurt anyone with how deep my understanding of reality is. Because I know as God I could muster the confidence to create anything I wanted and eventually I will. WE (as humans) will. It's rough to go through a psycedelic, BUT the information you get is very important for your life and as your grow your understanding that you are God. I know you're God, but it will take time for you to understand it, and that's okay. >once again, my knowledge of "God" here is probably not accurate. Because you will eventually become VERY smart. Your brain will grow huge with knowledge. You could grow a tree out of a rock right now, but you need to get very smart (conscious) first, as it would take a lot of time, patience and effort. But eventually you could grow a tree out of a rock right now, but you need to get very (conscious) first, and it will take a lot of time and patience and effort. But eventually you will become the awesome God that you are. Yes this right now is ideology, but eventually you'll figure it out. Yes there is ideologies of what God is but you'll eventually figure it out. It will take lots of courage to Grow your self to become the powerful God that you are. You WILL be able to spawn trees out of rocks, but It'll take me years. If I wanted to become really smart right now and understand everything, I can, but, are you willing to go through the emotional barriers to do it? It's a wild ride to grow your understanding that you're God. Eventually you'll be able to spawn trees if you wanted to. My understanding of my potential is so deep. Why just teach through just language? It's so limited. Me teaching other people knowledge I find is my way of controlling people to demonstrate my understanding of God. Like releasing ideas as mind viruses. How do you say the coolest things? You just will it into reality. To understand what God is, IS literally a process of just opening the mind. 4h 20 min, big jump back into sober reality. My mind is so open that it takes time to understand social constructions. You have to be motivated to teach people what you understand. Later.... 11h For a while I believed that I am God and had the ability to start imagining things into existence at the drop of a hat. I could imagine a tree growing out of a rock if my will desired. I could materially manifest it into existence. Boundaries between gender and age and relationships relative to me such as "family" completely collapsed, as I just wanted to show my love intimately with everybody. My mind was so open that dualities such as gender and age started to collapse. In that moment I felt extremely authentically pansexual. Nondual pansexuality. The idea that the small 5% part of your body between your legs played a significant role in determining how much I love you was nonsense. I let go of my life. I saw my life as a cog in the machine of the super organism of the human race. I saw my ability to completely change the world and have the impact of Christ. I realized that there are people that are super conscious and enlightened, and they just simply may or may not be in the spotlight. Many of them will just be random nobodies. But they will be Gods amongst men with their level of Christ consciousness. I had my mind so open that I had a really difficult time to understand all the imaginary barriers and ways humans carve up reality. In this state, it was obvious how everything is connected to a big picture, to a large holonic structure. How everything you do, speak, and think plays a significant, impactful role in this holonic web of reality. It was a constant screaming that my purpose is to teach people how they are God. How they as a Human fit into this Holonic Structure of a Human Race. My mind was so open that I had to really think through why I should keep my arms. I was ready to just die and be okay with that. The insight into reality was so deep that I went "insane", and had a hard time to keep it together because ideas that I ever took a psychedelic started to collapse. Every thought was threatening the constructs of reality in the minds of other people. My love for everything as reality as God manifests such that I love all of it. I understand the responsibility you take to keep the body alive when the Ego is dead. When your ego is dead your reasons to stay alive changes. I felt like a real stage yellow, wanting to authentically understand every perspective of reality. I was really interested in understanding the perspective of others. And it was coming from a place of love. This is how I imagine a true stage yellow would think. I had a deep patience and passion to learn. I am much more comfortable with the idea of the the insanity that entails when one opens the mind up enough for an enlightenment to occur. All of this indoctrination of what reality is, is being unwired. In the middle of the trip, I was ready to smoke 5meo. I believe that I have no free will when it comes to facing my fears. They just will be faced. The next day, my brain was really exhausted. Needed that next day to rest up.

Mushrooms Trip Report 008 - 2g of Shroom Chocolates 2g Shroom Chocolate Trip Report - Psilocybin Magic Mushrooms So I went hiking with my family in this forest that was thick and looked like something straight out of the Lord of The Rings. Very high humidity causing tons of growth of mushrooms, moss and freaking massive, thick trees, with roots everywhere. The body high I got made hiking back so much easier, I had so much energy at my disposal, tapping into the animalistic reservoir of energy that I hold. I was able to experience massive levels of open-mindedness. So open minded that I believed that I had the ability to perform miracles like spawn tree branches out of rocks. So open minded that the duality between gender collapsed for me at the time. I was also in a state where contexts and social constructions (Self construct/Ego) fled the mind entirely, and I had to figure out how to interact with people properly. This is an important insight to hold to yourself, where you keep tripping, no matter how much fear you have to face. As this attitude will help you get VERY far. Holism is very important in this work.

Additional Meta-Commentary on this Trip Report Parent Document of My Trip Reports

Mushroom trip 007 August 28th 2021 1.1g golden teacher Taken at 10:11am Mushroom Tea. >I'm doing a gentle hike in nature. >Note: When I'm talking about God, I am aware of it in a way of a belief, I have yet to experience God, but believing God exists is inspiring to me. >For more context, My tolerance is low AF like Leo. Sometimes the best views are nowhere near the peak. Visuals at 15 min. Breathing ground. Fuzzy's shroom headspace Body high >At the 15-20 Minute mark is when it kicks in fast and hard. This was accomplished because I grinded the mushrooms with an electric coffee grinder, then lemon tek'd it, and then made tea in a French press. (if you're reading this, play this in the background right now) https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1mBU5MNcXew >This is what I am listening to as I enter the Shroom realm and when it really kicks in fast. Next Fucking Level. Seeing the red berries in the field pop out, the colors start to saturate, the everything in nature starts to move and dance. Hell yeah!!!! Thanks Leo for teh music! 20 minutes in here we go go "Welcome home" >That's what I said to myself. There is nothing to do but enjoy the beauty of God that you are. That is the only thing you're doing ever. Reality IS magical. What's here over shroom world IS what your sober world is. >At one point in the trip, I got my entire field of vision enveloped in fractals and sacred geometry when I looked at a field while I was at a bottom of a hill. Like a full DMT visual. On ONE GRAM. The plants are all pointing to me like a magnet. Instead of brushes in my way, I interpret it as: they're out to grab me in a loving way cuz they want me. I want to be fully used up in my life. Expressing a full spirit. Even in reading, in studying, and in focusing, you put your FULL SPIRIT into it because you're enriching your mind and that enriches your entire life. Just keep becoming more and more conscious and grow and grow until you leave your head and become the universe. >until you no longer identify with the body. > I sit down in a forested area. > I am completely motivated and ready to rip reality apart and go for an ego death. I wish I brought more Enlightenment notes. Just contemplate other shit right now. You have to really PUSH through reality to get something from it. If you wanted to merge with an Enlightenment, just do Enlightenment shit. It hurts to make something out of reality. Pain must be exuded out to create something. I just want to write poetry of how beautiful reality is. I'm going to grow so much myself that I'll have people grow along with me. You have to push really hard to merge with what you want. (What you want to become, who you want to be) Work on creating one thing that's fucking amazing. Contemplation is just pushing. Pressing and pressing till you become more conscious. All you gotta do is love something so hard that you have it bring life. Working really hard IS the enjoyment. Enjoying learning so much. Learning as speaking. Learning as creating. If you motivate yourself every day you will BECOME an insanely motivated person, that will become part of you, you will MERGE with it! You will get that INERTIA. That momentum. Proper posture in meditating demonstrates understanding. Your seriousness demonstrates your understanding of the value of the craft. I have more joy watching others grow into beautiful beings. A totally selfless act. I Am this Mystic. I AM [Firstname Lastname] Because I am God. >I will show you I'm God by creating something awesome of myself. In order to get more for yourself, you have to LOSE yourself. An equal exchange. What REALLY is the best thing I can do with my life right now? Ask this question every moment as your bible. Become God as an expression of your self mastery. Your self-mastery is your expression of God. It says, "I am the creator". My every move and thought is me as God trying to become MORE. I want to protect other humans from me. >me thinking about how my ego will fuck shit up through my neediness, just want to make sure I fulfill these needs in a healthy way, serving the highest good. Destroying the ego will allow me to do what I really want. >Self explanatory Everything "physical" is just REALLY STRONG imagination. Stronger than yours. (Which is why you cannot impose too much of your thoughts into forms onto reality itself.) >A theory about reality that I came up with. Value is the process of bringing something Secret out to the public. Bringing consciousness out into reality. Demanding more from your mind, pulling it out like uprooting something. And the root is infinitely long. Mom I want you to watch me grow. And that will be my gift to you. All my motivation comes from a deep selfless love. Being completely wise is the love of the gentle push behind someone's back for them to do better. The patient one that will go around the ego. >Not rushing to get someone to a specific result. What does "become more conscious" really mean? Try REALLY HARD when speaking. Practicing public speaking. Try to speak as hard as you can, like you're giving yourself a bicep PUMP. A pump in your physical workouts >>> a pump with your speaking workouts. Treat speaking like a workout session. Where you are trying to give it your all with perfected form. >That's how you grow. "I want to see you grow!" >(You people.) >Thinking about Leo a lot... Leo, I will show my love for you by growing myself. And then making a massive contribution to the world by raising the collective consciousness by doing my part. When you merge with something enough, a baby is born. A new piece of consciousness. >[[Creativity]] In order to birth new things out of your consciousness, you have to merge with the intent of getting more, demanding more from your consciousness. When you contemplate deep, a huge amount comes back. Like a miracle out of nowhere. You need to be willing to go through the pain/boredom /resistance to bring value. Your love of the new valuable thing is what motivates you to push through and give birth to a new aspect of consciousness. To push hard at a skill is a selfless act. Because you say no to everything else. If you want to get good at speaking, you have to say no to painting trees, no to dancing, no to creating art. When contemplating, focus SO HARD like you're trying to curl 100 lbs. Focus SO HARD THAT YOU WILL BURST! >This is how to get what you want. >It's all about approaching what you do with a high level of consciousness. This ESPECIALLY comes at play when doing a practice routine. In NO WAY is it an unconscious mechanical act. You're consciousness and awareness need to be turned up to 11 when practicing. This is what is going to stretch you and allow you to grow! Can you imagine if I did 150 different enlightenment exercises?? How much more conscious I'd be?!? >Thinking about the book: "The Secret Self: A Practical Guide to Spiritual Awakening and Inner Freedom" by Christopher J Smith >Thinking about reading it. There are infinite conscious beings trying to imagine themselves into existence. A tree is imagining itself into existence. >Another theory about reality. It takes absolute courage to bring something into reality. >Because it taps into the selfless self, the infinite self (I think) Working out really hard creates subtle beauty in the body. >Working the mind will create that subtle beauty of intelligence. That implicit manifestation of intelligence, having you manifest as a "well educated" person. It is only where you put yourself in environment where you have to push yourself is where you grow. >I understood this deeply. By emptying my mind I will become more creative. Emptying your mind is going to the source. >Just thinking about how you can be more creative if you meditate a lot. Embarrassment is a mechanism to distance yourself away from the identity of the person (your old self) that did the thing you're embarrassed about. Its a mechanism that allows you to put distance between you and who you don't want to be anymore. Embarrassment is a growing mechanism. &&& Later.... I cannot BELIEVE how Leo just posted this! "Why Valuable Things Require Development Over Time" https://youtu.be/uw6lRNBZvv8 To do: Actually SPEND 10 hours thinking deeply, a set time or in the day, thinking deeply about a vision for myself. Spend another 10 after that inventing practice routines to get me there. It's this freefall PUSH for an answer that will get you where you need to go. Getting to bed on time is a valuable skill I have to push for. 16hours in (Basically sober, just in that subtle afterglow.) Anxiety? Fear? >Managed to breath it out. Was feeling the fear because I was thinking about my previous trip where I got the most insane anxiety. My theory about it now is that my serotonin/dopamine receptors or something got all "used up", leaving no chemicals left to regulate my brain, thus defaulting down to anxiety. ################################### ################################### ################################### POST TRIP REPORT SUCCESS! I didn't dive deep down into a pit of infinite anxiety after the trip (As opposed to last trip). So that's a good sign! Mind you I did only do 1.1g. My full confidence will probably come when I try to take 2.5 grams and beyond and come back with no new found anxiety. But for this trip it was a full success. I also learned the power of going in alone. WAY BETTER! So much more authenticity. Just you, and reality. I deeply learned about HOW to create something in reality. HOW to become who you want to be, and HOW all you gotta do is turn inwards and find the answers within yourself. LOLLL! What a total 180 from who I used to be. I used to question whether it was even POSSIBLE for me to become a master artist, for example. But now I understand skill building and the mastery process at such a depth, and this trip took it to the next level of that understanding. My next trip I plan to do half a tab of LSD. Wish me luck!