Breakingthewall

I also experienced that with 5-MeO-DMT, exactly the same as with NNDMT, and also with marijuana and meditation. It's absolute emptiness, and it's perceived as if reality were a multicolored hologram, an appearance beneath which there is nothing. The first time I had this experience, it took me a year to dare to do psychedelics again. It's truly unsettling, sad. Later, I went back to doing 5-MeO, and it was always the same, so I thought: this is like advanced Buddhist meditation but with a booster; the point is to get used to the emptiness. It's extremely challenging because it truly is emptiness, and it feels like an absolute revelation. It's so horrible that the mind tries to erase it, searching for things to fill the void. Once I did 5meo and I had that experience again, and I thought: again the horrible shit, well, seems that this is what reality has to show me again today. Automatically I put a lot of 5 meo in the pipe without weight it, I put flame and I absolutely true thought: show me the truth or kill me. Then reality opened up. It was absolutely obvious, was what I am. Unlimited life, unlimited being, the absolute that is. It's not something that is possible to think, just being open to it This very moment started a real change, it's like something that was closed in more or less extent from my birth was totally opened for a while. That's everything, anything else is nothing, shadows. Being open is the only way. After that I did psychedelics sometimes but not high dose, over all small dose of THC for meditation, getting expanded states very often, absolutely empty of interpretation, free, but not totally absolutely open except in punctual occasions, maybe 8 times very short moments, maybe more in the middle of the night. After that i perceive where are the closures and little by little I polish myself to be able to greater openess. It's something that happens naturally, like if anything attracts you and you just have to let it happens. I started again because I feel that it's time to break some barriers and I find that DMT is a good tool and it doesn't feel unhealthy. Im not seeking realizations, just seeing my lack of surrender, perceive my fear. It's not like I want that psychedelic do the work for me but show where are the closures. Imo It's extremely useful. It's very important don't seek visions, realizations, etc, just a tool for openess . Yes but the point is that here and now the absolute is ready to be revealed in all it's glory. Before for me was a matter of self help. I wanted to stop suffering. Now it's a matter like, it's real, it's what I am, it's not something like a myth or a future possiblity, here and now the totality is being manifested as me and being veiled to it seems a mistake. Pursue anything else is pursuing shadows. Right now my state is like a miracle in comparison with 2 years ago, seems impossible, but anyway I want everything. Just because it's everything, it's what we are. If the doors of infinity can be opened, it's absolutely crazy don't do it. Of course as we said the existential horror of the dead void is a frontier that has to be stared and accepted before . If you are not totally open it's always this thought: if it at the end , when everything is open, reality is just void and everything is an illusion, and me and all the mystics were wrong, just suggested, deceived, stupid, and I'm the one who will discover the absolute horror of the absolute nihilism of what reality is, without scape? That's what one have to accept before to go. I'd say that you understand how scary is this, even if you had openess before, if it's not happening now doubts arises immediately. Openess is not a matter of knowing , it's actual, right now. If not it's like it was just a deception

The main factor that makes real meditation impossible is the need for self-definition, for identification. This need is inherent to the human being; it is a mechanism of social cohesion that allows the group to function as a single entity. Real meditation is not achieved through techniques, but through stepping out of the psychological matrix of identity. The real work is not in the practice of meditation, but in self-exposure, coherence, and integrity. Loyalty to yourself as absolute value. When the psychological axis shifts from the need for self-definition and validation to integrity and transparency, the mind becomes silent. Only then does meditation make sense, as one gains access to the primordial layers of the psyche: the drive for permanence, the fear of harm and disappearance, the need for control and other bases of the human psyche Directly perceiving these underlying patterns is what eventually allows the psyche to open. “Openness” means the absence of limits. Limits define, and create a sense of control and security. The absence of limits is initially terrifying, unsustainable for more than a few seconds. The system automatically contracts again. Anyone seeking liberation must seek this rupture. At some point, it becomes more tolerable, until it is perceived as freedom. Identity is then replaced by effortless openness, as it is revealed to be a mental process. not false, but not fundamental, not absolute. Openness is not an “open mind,” but the fact of being perceiving itself without mental limitations. It is something simple and, at the same time, complete. Not definable because there are not limits. This is the state where life becomes beauty, perception becomes deep and the heart becomes open.

Ralston's problem is the problem of many schools of Buddhism: they don't understand love as a path to openness. For them, love is a mammalian feeling, and ultimate realization is empty consciousness. This is a total mistake. Empty consciousness is a prerequisite, not the final realization. Love is understood as devotion or the absolute surrender of the individual to reality. The empty mind is still closed; total surrender is necessary, and this surrender is an act of total love. In it, emptiness opens, and in doing so, it reveals the totality. The totality is enclosed in your heart; it is your heart. Not in the sentimental sense, but in the sense of that which lives, that which is. Ralston is closed to glory, and like all those who are like him, he doesn't want to listen. Precisely because he is closed. As a Christian would say, they lack faith.

It could disappear, but I can't disappear. Open your heart, in it is everything. Reality lives.

It's a line of profound contemplation, much closer to reality than invoking a dreaming god as a deus ex machina, but the fact is that if there is a "substance" to what appears, it is the fact of being, and this being is a consequence of the limitation that reality is. You could say that being is not something concrete, but it is. Reality cannot not be because it is not limited, so relative motion occurs without origin. You could say that the ultimate substance of this relative motion is emptiness, nothingness, but the fact is that this limitless relative motion is substance itself. It is the totality. Absolute emptiness is the ultimate door to absolute fullness; it is not something rational but an opening that occurs within you through which the totality is revealed. And for this to happen you have to open yourself to the absolute void.

Empty space or blank screen are something. Nothingness is non being, no space, no process, no relationship, no change. Saying that unlimited relative change is nothing make no sense, because it's relative change. Nothingness is non existence, and precisely doesn't exist

Well that's just your opinion about what is false or true. Anything that exists is a process, nothing is stable. If for you process are false, then what is true? Nothingness? Nothingness is precisely nothing, it's impossible, because there are not limits, then reality is precisely everything Nothingness means just absence of anything, and it doesn't exist, because there is something: unlimited relative change. What reality is is being, that has not opposite, and it's manifestation is relative change. In fact being is relative change.

That's just an hallucination that happens in psychedelic trips. Thinking that it's the absolute because you saw it tripping is wrong. The absolute is unlimited, then to realize the absolute you have to become unlimited. If you are a god with a will who does things you are limited. It's not easy becoming unlimited, if you are not ready for it you could take a lot of 5meo or anything that the limited self will remain. Inflated as a god that wants things for example . The absolute and the reality are one, and it's unlimited, absolutely free.

Why a process is false? It's real, as a process. Anything that exists is a process, reality manifest as change, without change there is nothing. Nothingness or emptiness is not the container of the reality, it's just an idea that doesn't exist. What reality is is unlimited being, that is manifested as permanent change, very simple.

Thanks for the suggestion. Today I spent some time reading about the life and thought of Ramakrishna. He was a true mystic, vital, humble, joyful, who loved people and life. A man open to the absolute. That sounds like real openness and a serious path that has reached a point where things are no longer just a possibility, but a reality. I suspect that if you've gotten this far, it's because life has put you between a wall and a sword . We, the civilized, are not like those in Ramakrishna's time, when mystics sometimes flourished in environments where depth and the sacred were palpable in everyday life. Today, those of us who are drawn to mysticism do so because at some point life places us in a desert where there is absolutely nothing authentic, beautiful, or valuable. Like rats in a maze, we search for the way out. In my case, more than form or formless, what I would say happens is that my system loses its contraction, and reality is perceived as alive, limitless, joyful, luminous. But I want to go further. The thing is, I've managed to go from a, let's say, horrible state to an expansive, clean joyful stable state, without rumination, with a high capacity for connection, in something like 5 or 6 years of real focus on inner openness. But my intuition tells me there's more, that here and now reality is available to reveal its deepest face. Last week I started using psychedelics again; it had been more than a year since I'd done so. Specifically, DMT. The experience with DMT for me is quite horrible: reality becomes an empty black hole. There is no hallucinations, no self, nothing at all, just emptiness, nothing, for 10 minutes. It's not a living nothingness; it's simply nothing in the sense that there is just black without limits a d without any form and without any life. Then at night I return to that state of total emptiness several times. I do this several days in a row. Before, this was profoundly destabilizing, but now not so much. It seems to me a way of softening the perceptual field, of making the energy field more tenuous. In the end (at least it used to be this way in the past), on one of those trips, the void opens and the totality is revealed. It's something that can't be thought or remembered; it's another frequency of perception or being that I can't evoke. Violating the gates of heaven seems somewhat arrogant and violent, but on the other hand, it's too tempting to don't try to do. Lets see if It can be useful to make easier the openess to the absolute or not. In the past my goal was over all breaking my sick structure because if felt bad. Now it's to open my self to what is, because I want to.

Sure, for them enlightenment is knowing that reality is one and it's consciousness, then they go to meditate, get empty their minds and think: this is pure consciousness, then I'm enlightened. It has absolutely no relationship with enlightenment, it's co crazy that is funny. Enlightenment is being open to what reality is, not knowing that you are pure consciousness. This is just an idea disguised of a realization. "Realization" is also an idea. Being open to the unlimited means being the unlimited, not knowing that you are unlimited. It's like if you vape a huge dose of DMT, you don't know nothing, reality loses it form, it's absolutely empty, without borders, but then what is manifest itself, it's everything, it's the fact of being that implies everything. It's not one, two or anything else, it is, period. "One", "duality", are just mental structures. The unlimited is not an structure. Then you can be in your normal life as open as it's possible, seeking the real connection, and giving your best anytime, enjoying the moment as it were magic. That's the point of spirituality

How do you know that? What is consciousness for you? Some thing that is the foundation of the reality? Maybe a creator who is dreaming?

All of that is a lie; it's just things people think to feel safe. All this spirituality that's being promoted is nonsense and doesn't liberate anyone. On the contrary, spiritual people are more trapped and more narcissistic than a materialistic atheist. Let's see, if it were true that we're here to learn, wouldn't we be going somewhere from somewhere else? Where would we be going? If there were no limits, we would never have started, and we wouldn't be progressing toward anything, nor would we be dreaming things for a reason, since we would have done it an infinite number of times, and we would be a psychotic god on a demented circular mission. Forget everything and open yourself to your nature. Your nature is not an structure like being a dreamer, it's what reality is, being without limits. That's everything, there is nothing to know, just open yourself totally now. That's all.

What is fun? The narcissists? Not so

Why are you laughing?

Spirituality is opening yourself to the living essence of the absolute, in which the totality sees itself as life, being, the boundlessness that it is, and simply being expresses: hallelujah. The absolute light, creator of reality, which is reality itself, the living source that you are and that manifests in you now, bursting forth into life, universes, realities, all of them full of being. All that you talk about is just conceptual; you can't open yourself to the totality, which is normal since it's not easy at all, but it's good to understand this and not get stuck on meaningless nonsense, for you and for the people who's close to you. But anyway, life is hard. That's life

Perhaps everything is so difficult for you because you've clung to a narcissistic, misguided, and insane spirituality that claims you're creating reality, when this is absolutely not the case. If a false idea forms the foundation of your mind, your whole life tends toward the wrong paths, and this translates into dissatisfaction. Ask yourself a question: how do you know that you are dreaming the reality? If it were the case, why are you creating this really and not another? There must be a reason. This reason would be a limit, because it would limit the other possibilities. Then the entire reality would be limited for a reason.

Absolute love is just the absence of contraction. You could call it openess, oneness, absolute being , creative power, god . You perceive it as a divine feeling in comparison with normal contracted state, but it's just being without limits. We are closed to absolute love due evolution. It's necessary to be closed in order to move to greater complexity. Alive beings divide the reality between good and bad in order to self preserve, reproduce, evolve. This division is closeness, and it's natural and necessary. Enlightenment is just removing this closeness in some moments, and perceiving always that this closeness is just a temporary structure with a purpose, being able to see through it easily

The mind and the self that desires and fears are expressions of reality. They are as real as the body or anything else that exists. Spirituality denies the self as an illusion, but it doesn't deny the body because it is tangible. This is a primitive and deceptive way of thinking. The self is reality expressed as self, and its impulse and focus are those of reality. To deny it is to deny reality, and moreover, the one who denies it is the self.

The mind has a parcel of control that is not small.

Look, this is very complicated but I think that you have level enough for this revelation: if you don't work, don't make plans, then it's very possible that you arrive to a position where there is no food, no house, no medicines , no friends for you, and you (illusory or not) don't want that. I still remember when you were crying all day (as it's normal) because your new born son had a heart disease, and sure you bring him to the best doctors that your abundant money could pay,.and do you well. Some people can't do that because they are poor. Then, what is the purpose of spreading now all this bullshit? If you don't believe In it. You said that you work as a financial analyst right? That is speculation to get money, and you have to do it very thoroughly to keep your work, because are others who want it. Then, why all those lies? Narcissism? Seems clear

Let's see if I can explain this idea because it's extremely complicated. Look, when I'm alive, I want a good life, and when death comes, I won't care about it anymore... because I will be dead! Crazy right? Then now, when I'm alive, i don't want being a homeless with sickness and eaten by rats, that's why I work hard in all fields that I can, same than all living beings. Then tell me , oh superior. What would I do? Nothing? Because I'm nothing? Those bullshit could useful for you, maybe you are a millionaire of anything, but most of the people have to move fast and right

Ojhhh you are so profound, and so superior. Where do you live? In a cave? And do you feed your kid or not? Tell me, oh enlightened. You are another example of narcissist passive aggressive non dualistic unbearable and impossible to communicate anything. Spirituality nowadays

I already told you, I am a process that is happening , and we call that process body/mind. Im the reality in the form of a process , like anything else , and what I am is manifested as a body mind that is going to turn of the phone because tomorrow has to move fast to not get eaten by the rats

I am the body, I can point it. That's just a facet of you, necessary for survival No, the controlling self is absolutely necessary. Nowadays society if protective, but even so, you need control, visión, understanding and projection in order to not having a life that is horrible, like being a homeless rotten by rats in winter without no one who matters if you are alive or dead. I choose to avoid it