Breakingthewall

I had a very serious psychological problem that I couldn't solve. My father was a real malignant narcissist; it's something extremely difficult to decipher. My parents died when I was a teenager, and I was left with a feeling of murderous hatred. I had to live with it all the time, so I was very addicted to intense things: extreme sports, sex, and drugs (always controlling the last fortunately) At one point, I realized I had to face my reality. I tried to talk to my family about it, but they forbide it and blocked me. My sister spread that I have paranoid psychosis and that I'm a criminal 😅. She lives in terror that I'm going to her city to kill her. She's a psychologist (now you might be thinking: "Oh, right, he's a paranoid psychotic") I lived from my own business from very young and some of them were, let's say bit unusual, so my family labeled me and bye. In short, I decided to eliminate all external stimuli and face my reality without anesthesia. I spent about two or 3 years meditating for two or three hours every day, eliminating all distractions: novels, movies, socializing, alcohol, until absolutely nothing remained. I also took psychedelics in high doses hundreds of times. My focus was total. Little by little, with enormous effort, I delved deeper, and at a certain point, my mind shifted. The entire trauma was first fully perceived, then integrated, and went from being a barrier to an impulse. After that, I started meditating constantly, staring into the abyss of death. It was fascinating, like having a terrifying, unfathomable chasm before me. My past gliding in worse condition possible, climbing walls, and sailing in search of the most challenging situations helped me a lot. At a certain point, that abyss became attractive, and suddenly I wasn't looking at the abyss; I was the abyss. I had no limits, and all of reality was flowing, and I was that flow. Yes! Yessss!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Total. I can do that with a little time, and I have that state many times throughout each day, but that doesn't mean it doesn't generate enormous anxiety if my economy collapses or if the doctor tells me I have something strange. But in background there is not a wounded psyche, it's always the abyss, and the abyss smiles me all time, be one with it is the best possiblity possible, and the energy flows free. But you are still a human and a human has to fight and grow every single moment, because otherwise you sink. Nothing is static, so we have to move forward always, not for a reason but because it's the drive of reality

From what I've read, there was a high incidence in the Italian football league, and the reason was never determined. It was also seen in former professional athletes and military personnel, and on the island of Guam for a few years. The point is, the triggers can be many, but the process itself is not understood. There is a genetic form of ALS, but it behaves differently. The latest research suggests that ALS is not a single disease but something triggered by multiple factors, perhaps a prion or mitochondrial component. Not only are motor neurons affected, but many other cells as well. However, motor neurons are extremely demanding cells, with axons up to half a meter long, and are the most susceptible to dying.

Of course, what do you think? That I'm Buddha? I get expansive state easily and I have clean mind enough to understand the process as mathematics, but I'm in the human fight, and I love it. Trying to be able to connect deeper with people, to be as good as I can in my work, to find real deep connection with a woman. If tomorrow I break a leg and I ve to stay 2 week at home I will suffer a lot of frustration. Who wants to be detached? Only the cowards. We are humans, and that implies suffering, let's get as deep in everything as it's possible. And it's not easy because the tendency is the opposite . It's a day by day work, step by step

There are many profesional scammer of that. They say that people are sick due their energy and that. Als is a strange sickness, I did a lot of investigation about that just for the reason that nobody knows what causes it. Absolutely nothing is known except that a protein that should be in the cell nucleus is leaking out, and it has a slightly different structure, but this doesn't always happen, and it's unknown whether it's a cause or an effect. It's incredible that with all the resources available and brilliant minds focused on it, there isn't a single clue.

Life is simply inevitable. In the absence of limits, absolute potential unfolds. It cannot not, and its power is total. What is right now is the absolute expressed in you. You are the living absolute, which, having no limits, is. Death is life, since what is cannot not be. It is absolutely obvious, as normal as anything. Nothing is more normie than the total, because it is the only thing that is.

I'm talking about movies or series. Seeing a guy crying or angry, or declaring his love for a woman but pretending, makes me sick. Plus, that triggers an emotional reaction in you, amplified by certain music, and that's directly offensive . If these people, with their engineering, make me empathize with a character, or get emotional, I automatically think: I'm mentally retarded, congratulations! I can't help it, because when I was a teenager I watched a lot of movies and I literally believed them. At that time I believed that the world was like that, the war, the love, the criminals, all that seduction entered my mind, creating a high level of stupidity and disconnection from reality. One day I realized it and thought: what a disgusting scam. Besides, they're shitty movies of shitty quality. So I said: it's absolutely necessary to eliminate every micron of all the lies that entertainment has put in my mind little by little, programming me to be a moron idiot narcissist and pathetic ignorant

I public here over all because I have the topic in mind a lot, I can't avoid to refine it more and more, and contrasting here is useful. About being stoic, it's not that, I used to be addicted to intensity, but when you start open and align yourself you start to perceive the toxicity of many things and they disappear of your life inevitably

Kids are sick due movies. They believe that are real. It's like an infection of dumbness

Yah me same, when I watch a movie, I really see it. I see the emotional engineering designed to infiltrate my psyche and provoke reactions based on unreal characters vicariously experiencing things that aren't mine, and I see the actors as professional liars. I see entertainment as a cheap dopamine drug that makes people mentally retarded.

Hes wrong, thoughts are the movement of life. The problem is not thought, is the energetic capsule that humans create by fear to the rejection and absolute horror of death with which we humans psychologically separate ourselves from reality. This capsule seems to be made of mental flow or thoughts, but this is only its manifestation. Its structure is fear. But look, this is a problem for me, but it's a mechanism of life to make groups functioning like an individual. If everyone would be like me, human society would collapse. The "capsule" is essential for the functions of humankind's. Perhaps you think I'm an idiot, and I respect that, but I understand very well how this works. I have worked extremely seriously on breaking that capsule that I perceived since childhood, and I have done it, and I know exactly what it is. When I said that Ug was a real mystic, I meant his energetic openness, but he was an unbalanced guy with a rather deficient conceptual structure. At least he was authentic, unlike Jiddu, who was completely fake. Look that. And maybe that lions kill the babies of the previous alpha is another defect. And also flys, that are a pain, and the sun is too hot in summer, that's another defect , not to talk about supernovas. Have you ever had a supernova close? That's so defective, destroying everything. A real shame. Btw, sorry for calling you idiot eh, was a reaction for calling me Uber idiot..

Lions and tigers are life and if they could they would eat everything. The plants in its uncontrolled growing created the The Great Oxidation Event, which destroyed almost all life at the time and gave rise to life as it exists today. Perhaps humanity will give rise to an intergalactic or interdimensional dimension of existence. The fact that you and Krishnamurti find this very bad doesn't change the fact that life expands, and humanity is life. Krishnamurti is supposed to be a mystic, not some emo moralist who says we should wear linen and eat only beans, he should have a wide vision, but the fact is that he's just a moralistic narrow minded, and quite false, traveling in business class to preach that preaching is bad and civilization excessive

Something strange has happened to me after doing 5 meo and nndmt hundreds of times: I can't visualize anything in my mind. That is, if I want to imagine my car, I know that somewhere in my mind there's a file called "my car," and that's enough, but I don't see anything at all. The same thing happens with nndmt; zero images even with huge dose. It's not something I miss; in fact, my mind is infinitely better than before, but it's strange.

Beautiful video.

Catholic church already castrate enough the individual freedom with their philosophy of absolute terror , nothing happens if some voices of freedom sounds sometimes . Leo maybe should be, let's say ambiguous, but not because the suicidal people, because his interest and possible responsibility. Anyway, for me suicide is absolutely impossible unless being so sick without hope that your life is hell. If your health is ok, just fight, anything else is being an absolute coward imo. I don't know if there is reincarnation or anything similar but intuitively I feel that this life has consequences.

@Majed Sure you said that about me because I'm always saying: unlimited absolute blah blah. Tell me that I'm a fake, I want confrontation with anyone smart, I'm bored 😂

You are referring to me or Leo? Leo cant cross some limits because he's public, but who cares about what I say?

Enlightenment is just being open to the unlimited, then you still are an annoying cretin as me but with the difference that you perceive the unlimited, then little by little you start aligning your behavior, and over all you stop mental suffering, mental lack. That's the big change, but if you start doing shit, enlightenment fades and density comes again

Yeah. Anyway even you are enlightened better don't do that, you never know

So, after enlightenment you could rape your daughter high of meth and that's ok because it's a projection of your mind?

There are things to worry about in the future. Human mind is predictive machine that integrates information to navigate an ocean of possibilities without collapsing. The fact that you live in a society that cares for you doesn't mean that the predictive function ceases to be essential.

@Majed How could you realize that life is a dream? "Life" and "dream" are relative ideas that happens inside that life or dream, then how that dream using relative ideas that happens inside it could arrive to the conclusion that it is a dream? It would be a relative conclusion, only an idea inside the "dream"

So for example enlightenment is being an addict to methamphetamine who is an scammer and who rape his daughter? I don't think so. Of course being that is a reality, but not being enlightened. enlightenment requires purification. And Purificación requires drive, effort, focus and action.

Of course not, i could lose my memory even being alive It's not a theory, it's the fact of being open to the unlimited. The unlimited hasn't memories because it's unlimited, any memory is limited

Last attempt to see if you understand. You and I are essentially the same; we are reality expressed in two humans. Reality is not consciousness; it is reality. If I die, reality continues to exist, because you continue to exist. Do you understand? If, for example, tomorrow you hit your head and have complete amnesia and can only say "poop" and "pee," you still exist. Do you understand this? Repeating "poop" and "pee" instead of "the self is illusory" is similar, but not exactly the same. You still exist. So what is the point of enlightenment? It's not knowing that you still exist; that's obvious. It's opening yourself to the perception of the absolute. It's something you don't even intuit, you don't even grasp the idea. Look, you perceive your body, your position, right? Well, you can also perceive your total nature. It's a direct and continuous perception, which comes with the perception of the perfect flow of what is, but it goes beyond that. It's like open something that was closed. It's a total energetic shift. Can you understand it? Well I know the answer. Then if you are open to the unlimited nature of everything, you will know that if you hit your head and be absolutely retarded, you still exist, and if you are in coma, you still exist, and if you die and your dog lives what you are still exist, because it's everything, it's the unlimited that is and you are that. And being open to it is the glory and the power, the freedom and the joy. Because it's the fucking unlimited that is and it's everything. It's like having cocaine in your veins and fire in your brain. You have to close yourself to it to don't get burned. You won't never do shit like fucking for fun, don't being integral, procrastinate, be coward or false. You will be enlightened by the light, not by the shitty knowledge of that "self doesn't exist"

It has zero relationship with what I wrote. I told you that you have to read many times. But forget it, it's useless. Peace brother, I love you ❤️ illahlahlah lah