Breakingthewall

@Majed if I where you I would listen @LordFall . The night club gives the feeling of a kind of freedom, like you can pretend be another person more self confident in the middle of the noise and the vapors of alcohol, but a sober date face to face is where you can polish your game, and apps for dating are very useful. Just don't mention sex, say that your purpose is clean, meeting and see where it leads because for you only real deep connection is valuable (and if it's true, better), and start dating with the sole idea of having a good date. Imagine that you want to be a boxer and you are starting boxing, your purpose is not winning, is learning of the adversary and polish your technical squills because you are not a boxer, you are a wannabe. Same with dates, know your position, then you will improve.

The brain is a relative process that occurs in reality, and it represents images from the exchange of information with the set of processes that are happening, just as an atom is another relative process interconnected with the fields of reality, or any other form that may exist is another dynamic procces that is happening in relationships with the whole. Who sees the screen? The fact of seeing implies the seer, the seer is the reality seeing itself

That's normal, everyone have insecurities, but in your case she told you that before you sex was basically shit and now it's great so you have it quite easy. She had some unsatisfying experiences in the past that were exploration more than real sex and the only real sex that she had has been with you, then you could consider that's she was virgin and you are the first and the only, the others have been just trial and fail. Think that easily could be different, any woman that you could meet could have been with another boyfriend who has had great daily sex for a year or two

The key is not friend zone yourself. There are certain red lines you can't cross, which basically involve putting yourself on the same or lower level as her. This doesn't mean you're superior, but rather that you're the man, and she's the woman. These are two different perspectives from which you operate. If you step outside of that, you enter the friend zone, and the sexual tension instantly drops to zero. The key is to maintain the role that makes you be seen as the man who's going to have sex with her, not as the friend she's going to confide in. She has to see you as self confident, strong, solid, and selfish, not "nice", "nice" is against wet panties, it's exactly the opposite. "Nice" evokes a dick extremely soft, like a teddy bears dick. I mean, you could be "polite" but not "nice", "nice" means that you put yourself down of her, then you are as masculine as a cuck, you should be up herself ,of course without being pathetic, must be natural, but you have to have it in mind, if not the "nice" guy could appears even one second and bye. You have to maintain the tension, then she would feel sex.

Why do you think that if she told you that she discovered real sex with you? Makes no sense. If she would said that the ex was incredible and that then ok, but she said that until you she was blocked in sex, no good sex before you, so who cares if the others were masculine or not? Worse sex with them, better sex with you, period

Hahahah the divine, and also the mundane

Imo you don't have at least five girls on WhatsApp with whom there's a possibility, maybe remote, but not outright impossible (friendzone), of having sex, then you're doing something wrong. So, instead of meeting a drunk girl at a club and having completely unsatisfying sex with her, without any real energy or attraction, just two people wanting to sex with someone, what would be better is to start going on dates forgetting about sex and focusing on the situation, the energy, maintaining a naturally high situation, being focused on your masculinity and not making a fool of it in front of everyone. And above all, if you're so desperate to have sex, go to a brothel, that's it. Personally, I think it's not ethical and I won't do never again, but in the past I've had sex with prostitutes a thousand times more satisfyingly than with girls I've met at a nightclub. Anyway, as a zen master would say, if you want sex don't go for sex, go for creating tension, aura, you're the man, you have the power. You don't beg, you grant. You don't flatter, you savor. You're in control and you direct the situation, and things fall into place. If not, it just wasn't the right place. And if sex happens it's not a "success", it's the natural flow of the things. You are not a "trier", because if you are, you are a "beggar" and if you are that, anyone who wants sex with you is retarded, and, would you like to have sex with anyone retarded? Not me.

God doesn't do this or that for one reason or another; reality is, and being manifests in relative forms. Any form must be limited, because if it weren't, it wouldn't be a form. And it exists in relation to other forms. Nothing can be permanent except the fact of existing; everything that appears begins and ends, is limited in all its dimensions except for its substance, which is the absolute being. You are the absolute being manifested in a form. Release your attachment to form and open yourself to your essence, then you will be immortal, because you are the absolute, immutable, total being, and everything is within you. There is no other above you, no creator creating you. You are the totality now, and you have no bottom. Your power is absolute, and you know everything: you know that you are and what you are, you perceive the full totality that is your nature . That means omniscience; it's not necessary to know the details, it's enough to know that they are simply details. If you open yourself to the absolute, to the total glory of unlimited freedom, you will know everything and your power will be total, because infinity lives within you, you are that, the absolute being, happening. You can't know what is the absolute being except being open to it, being it without barriers. Then the absolute being sees itself through you, that is, through itself.

In true awakening, absolute openness, the notions of "alone," "dream," "creation," "past", "future ","oneness", "duality ", are meaningless, not a possibility, do not operate on that plane, and are not even conceivable except as possibilities of the fragmented human mind.

You can know everything easily. You are, being is everything. Open yourself to this fact without any barrier and that's it. Nothing else can be known because that's everything. Not knowing by language, being it without limits

In my experience, it's a process that can involve psychedelics, meditation, and above all, the constant intention to pierce the capsule that separates you. At some point, you've had several "mystical" experiences after breaking through several barriers within yourself, but you still live in a state of separation. Then, at a certain point, you can meditate, more or less easily to a point of total emptiness of content and meaning, where only "I am" remains, the perceiving center, the subject that sees the object. If you can stay at that point long enough, the separation collapses, and reality opens up. It's not God doing things or any realization; it's exactly this, but open, alive, limitless. Any interpretation occurs within reality, therefore it cannot capture it; thus, the mind that gives meaning dissolves, and reality is, and being is everything. It's total, nothing is missed, it's what you are. Then what you want is more openess, more life. Good to read, same here

What is called mystical love is not loving someone else, but the love of reality for itself. Reality is, and its depth is total. Its life is total, and it opens its eyes and heart, that are your eyes and heart , and in perceiving itself without filters, it loves itself without reservation.

Yes the contraction disappear in great extent. Fron my experience there has to be a moment, or rather several moments, when your ego is zero. Moments of total openness; otherwise, it would have been impossible for me. My previous state was one of incessant mental war, a closed state. I could never be at peace. I suppose many people live like that. The difference isn't becoming egoless or without preferences, but opening the capsule that encloses you. Breaking the separation, the barrier that covers your heart and makes your mind self-reflective. Then reality becomes completely fluid, without absolute limits. You and reality are one; you can't control it, you see that you must surrender every second. But imo there's always some resistance; it's software that seeks the good and avoids the bad is always there. Then if anything bad appears you will suffer, but you are not suffering for the fact of being you. Yeah you are right, the egos are very different, but imo in deep are similar in its structure, or better in the fact that are structures. Come on, wtf, don't induce me nightmares hahaha. No no you are right, reality is deep, separation can happen in many ways, some could be very horrible. A human brain has a huge capacity of suffering, imagine other possibilities much more deep, complex, powerful of madness that the reality can create. Meditation is not observing your thoughts, it's open yourself to this moment and being one with the reality without separation. Breaking your limits. Imo without boiling your brain with drugs some time, maybe some years, it's impossible for modern people. Just my opinion maybe I'm talking nonsense and sadguru will punish me, but we have a ego very hard because we grew in protection, safety, control. Despite the mental suffering and that. Then it's extremely difficult breaking the separation

You have a true orientation to spirituality. But there is a final step. At some point you have to say: kill me. I surrender my preference, my self. But it has to be real, truly real, not like: uh, I want something good. But: kill me with a flame, vaporize me, I surrender to absolute emptiness, to total nihilism, to disappearance and absence. Then reality opens up and is total

Approaching is easy, a mere formality; the difficult part comes later: maintaining, let's say, the energy. Not feeling insecure, not smiling too much, maintaining a certain calm tension, being comfortable, having a pleasant time, not getting anxious, manage to have conversation that's not boring, Don't friendzone yourself after five minutes of talking, project an aura of understated confidence and natural control, but oriented to fun. In my opinion, all of this is achieved by realizing how often you act like a pathetic, approval-seeking clown and remembering it again and again like a whip of pathetism

Over the course of your life, beginning and usually ending in your childhood, a process of closure takes place. The need for belonging, completely non-negotiable, makes openness to your source, to what you are, unbearable. You create an energetic structure adapted to the vibration of the people you interact with and take as models. At a certain point, that structure becomes your form, what you are as a human being, and it no longer draws its vitality from within, from your source, but from outside, from social reality. Being disconnected from your being, from your source, your reality becomes constant lack, filled with projection onto a future of fullness drawn from social reality. This is impossible. You can feel this closure at low intensity and achieve a supposedly sufficient level of comparative social nourishment, living in a dull, bearable lack, or you can feel it with great intensity, where the lack feels like a constant, unbearable imbalance. You might try to cover it with drugs, sex, success, compulsive work, or whatever else. None of it will work, in any case. There are also people who, due to their circumstances, have maintained a fairly high level of openness and live fairly connected by default, but there are few of them. Once you operate from a structure based on valuation, and you draw your vital energy from valuing and comparing, you can no longer get out of it. You are a prisoner, separated from your essence, closed off from the source that you are, from yourself. You are not going to break this energetic barrier, built on genetic patterns formed in the tribe and the herd, by understanding that they are a mistake, an illusion, by having insights and classifying the ego as illusory, but by breaking the barrier that encloses you. From my perspective (from my mental structure), there is only one way to do this, becoming aware of the barrier and having a moment of openness. Then you see the closure clearly, and all your mental energy focuses on breaking it. It is not something you do through discipline, it is inevitable. But it is extremely difficult, because you really do draw your energy from the valuative structure. It may be an anxious, painful energy, but it is the only one you have. You cannot simply drop it, that is impossible, if you have no other source of life, it will come back immediately, and access to what you are, to the source, is closed. It will not open just because you want it to, you have to break it. And to do that, you must absolutely want to. Not because you are looking for something better, but because you perceive a closure, and that is intolerable, period. The work is 24/7, and quite slow. Returning to the purity of childhood is no longer enough and it is impossible. You must break through structural layers of fear, one after another, passing through the valuative layer, the need for acceptance, for belonging, for self-judgment, until you reach the base, the primordial I am, where nothing remains but the subject/object structure, stripped of everything else, and collapse it. It is in that movement that the source reveals itself. It was really always present in everything, but the structure through which it manifested kept it closed, opaque, impossible to perceive. Once it opens, experience changes completely. It goes from being defined to being fluid, from being valuative to being alive, from being reflective to being expansive. You will never achieve this by realizing that valuing is a mistake, because it is not, it is your way of obtaining energy when your structure has closed off access to what is alive. When you break the barrier, the self-reflective structure is no longer necessary, and it simply disappears. Definition disappear because what you are is indefinable. This is so obvious that trying to grab or define is not even an idea. From this let's say way of existing, you can open your heart to death, not because it's inevitable but because it's perceived like something that happens in what you are, no to what you are.

I would say that everything he says is correct, balanced and sincere

How can we know if this is true or simply a religious invention? It's impossible; no one knows for sure. You can be completely open to your absolute nature, but desire always remains. If you're left in a room full of rats, you'll want to escape. The idea of killing desire and attachment stems from the belief in ending the cycle of samsara, which is precisely an egoic idea that seeks to avoid suffering because you don't like it. So some monks make a great effort to kill any preference in order to reach nirvana, but they do so because they've heard that this is the way to achieve a goal, and they've come to believe it.

What is the ego? We could say that there are many layers or many frequencies of the ego. The most annoying and obvious is the need of being better than you, but there are levels much more subtle. For example the need of control, the constant feeling that you have to control the situation with your mental activity. Or even more subtle, the need of being important for another person, the need of bondages. Or even more subtle, the need of control of your future, having a plan. Or even more, the need of being you, with your character, remembers, personality. Layers and more layers.

True spirituality is very simple: reality is, you are. Then you are the reality, manifested as you. Open the barriers that encloses you, what is called ego, then you will be the reality knowing itself. Or in other words, the fact of being, being. Or in other words, you are. You could tell anyone that you are, nobody would get surprised. Then you could tell them that they are hiding, veiling this absolute fact of being with many layers of identifications inherent to the fact of being an human, and that they can polish their perception, their way of existing now until the total fact of being become obvious, essential, primary. And that's spirituality, nothing else.

Explain deeper, if you don't mind.

Reality is what is and that's it. The absolute fact of being in its infinite possibilities. The absolute openess inevitably appearing. Sat chit Ananda, what is and being knows that is and being unlimited it's joy is absolute. Right now, exactly right now, the absolute is, and you are that. Just open yourself to this fact, drill your ego until only the unlimited remains. If you don't do life is sad.

In spirituality? That's impossible, how could be? 😅

Not poetically, just the most common in humans even you are not conscious of it. The need of belonging, of acceptance, is absolute. If the adults around you are closed, egoic, neurotic, you will construct a barrier. You won't know that you are doing it, for you it will be just the reality Then what originated it?

The first thing to understand is that there are two levels of ego. The first is the social ego, which is the internalization of certain conditions necessary to be sufficient, acceptable. The individual operates from a servile, negative position: "I do this because otherwise I am insufficient." This is what causes constant rumination. You can emancipate yourself from this and act from a completely sovereign position, without any inner judge evaluating your worth, but you are still trapped within the limits of the self. Here we enter what is called "mysticism," which is actually quite mechanical. It is the dissolution of centrality and the subject/object structure, the disappearance of the observer and the idea of "consciousness" in order to open yourself to total reality. This requires a high level of detachment and an undeniable intention of openness.