Breakingthewall

Yes, I meditate every day, I did mushroom many times, salvia 2 times, but I never was so deep. it isn't any possible preparation for that. You totally dissolved, and no preparation could help, your mind is off Where is the void. Where the nothing is alone . Well, I have to see again the void that I am. It's impossible that its so bad. I feel good now...I don't know why

But now I'm courious to see the horrible nothing again haha

I hope I'm not getting affected in long term. I already forgot but I saw, and it's going to appear again. I hope Leo or the experience people here could help me. I'm not scared to do it again 1000 times because nothing could be worse, and maybe, next time I could see any life, anything in that horrible void. I'm criying because I can't escape. My mind is telling: don't worry, sure it's normal and if you go further you will see the bliss...but I saw the last last nothing, empty, and was dead, was ....only nothing....like sad, no escape, can't explain

Because is dead, impossible to explain. I was there and was the nothing and the nothing .... wasn't anything good , now my mind elaborate 1000 things, but when I was there... impossible to describe. Horrible?? Hehe

Smoked like 14 , in 3 times. In a moment I was totally dissolved, I was the nothing, the empty, but that empty was dead, and there is not a escape. Well...I have to do again, because worse is impossible. I prefer any evil, any torture that that dead empty that I am, but if it is that I am...welcome the horrible, what to do?

If you analyze physical reality with the rational mind, not perception or intuitive, the process of formation of different elements, such as carbon, in supernova explosions, the infinitesimal accuracy necessary for these processes, the appearance of life and its very long evolution from unicellular to more and more complex beings, Until reaching the human, the maladaptive and adaptable being, this seems the work of an engineer of enormous intelligence , but limited (he can't do that directly, needs a process, and multiples fails) who desperately needs to reach an end, and to reach this there is no time or suffering that will make him give up

my rational mind can't help asking that question: what for? yes, all these trillions of planets and beings are just the imagination of god. but for what? everything seems to evolve to an end

Send him info to read , like science articles about psylocibes and development, microdosing of lsd, etc, and maybe he starts to see the psichodelics in another angle. I did with my sister who was always scared about me, thinking that maybe I'm going to became esquizofrenic because the psichodelics, and now she is really interested

That means that its like the infinity needs the human to realises itself?

I feel a huge ego there my friend

@dyslexicCnut your doubts and your analysis is also mine and I think it has been one of the main philosophical dilemmas of humanity. I suppose you already know the answer: good and bad, pleasant or unpleasant, are distinctions of the ego, necessary for the being that you are to survive. if you want the truth, you have to go beyond the ego and eliminate the judgments. nothing is better or worse, it just is. I know that it is much easier said than done. living it is reaching enlightenment ... not easy business

Human was born and died in communion with nature, the divine was always present in him and his life was governed by the will of life. But in him there was a seed that screamed, rebelled. When his children died from lack of food, or his body decayed, something in him cried out: why? I don't want!!. That something impelled him to try to submit the life. He possessed other beings, other men and the earth. He raped the earth to force her to act according to his will. That something created myths and legends because It needed not only to violate life but to understand it. That something, later on, went beyond myth and was able to dissect God, classify him, manipulate him. To submit it. Science gave him enough power to try his ultimate need: challenge God. That something thought: I submit? I am the dominator, I will understand the ultimate structure of reality and manipulate it as I please, because I am strength, ambition and rage, I do not submit to anyone, on the contrary, who meets me is devastated and subdued by the hurricane of my strength. I am the ego, and I will be immortal. Because i am god

possibly when you die, or when the veil is lifted, or when you enlighten yourself, you will see that human suffering is nothing, that your agony was less than a cold

seeing the magnitude of human suffering, for me the only answer is surrender. trying to understand motivations on our chimpanzee scale makes no sense

@allislove but I think you was right, the business of leave the ego away isn't only about the mind, you should get a complete detachment ...that's why it's so difficult

True, so if I want to leave the ego away, I should give the same importance to what happens with my body, or the tree in the corner. Don't seems easy

Beautiful idea, that surrender

by elimination it should, since it is the absence of ego, which is the source of unhappiness

For me to meditate is to stop and observe yourself, to be completely centered in the present moment. I suppose there will be different interpretations. how to do it? if it can be in contact with nature, the better. sitting in an upright posture, not lying down or reclining. I don't know why but this matters, it makes it different. initially it is usually uncomfortable, every 2 minutes something tells you. that's it, look at the phone, get up. you have to force yourself to continue, even if it seems like it's useless and the only thing you're doing is torturing yourself. I would put on 10 minute sets, and it still seemed like hell to me. Once you're at it, watch what happens in you, in your mind. focusing on breathing is always recommended and is a good way to start. the idea is not to try to block out thoughts, that is almost impossible. is to observe them, like a naturalist observing a herd of elephants for example. a thought arises of: get up! accompanied by its corresponding andiety. watch it, how long does it last? is it really so unbearable? then another appears, and another ... you will see that many have in common an underlying exaltation of your person. How strange, like movie courtiers flattering the king or something. he continues to observe them like someone playing a game of chess with a very clever computer. What pattern do you have? are repeated? If you do it long enough, you will suddenly realize that you are more detached from them, they affect you less. after more time you start to feel very good, and later you start to perceive things, to deepen. At the beginning it is very difficult and the normal thing is not to have the necessary discipline to do it every day because it is frustrating and not very pleasant, but the normal thing is that over time it becomes more relaxed, and with more time, the most rewarding activity of your life. It's when you are really you, you start to identify with who is observing, no with the observed , and who is observing is infinite

I was meditating when suddenly I realized an apparently obvious fact: I create thoughts. there is nothing, and in that nothing I mold a thought. has form. there is nothing and suddenly that nothing has a form. What is it? a wave? why i do it? Is it the ego that does it, or is the ego the thought? what is the ego?

Believe? Who believes or not is the ego. The being doesn't believe, it's more like a mechanical process. You create like a shape, a wave, a thing, that can glues to you, merge. You can see it and when you see, it can't merge. About non duality...I don't doubt that in deeper levels sure you get it, but I see duality. Being and thought. I know all of this looks like mental masturbation, but I think it's useful to educate your mind to get opening

ego does not exist? from the point of view that only consciousness exists and the rest is illusion, true, it does not exist, nor does the wasp exist, but it stings you. the point is that at this level thoughts do exist, real as the wasp. they are "something", not "nothing". I understand non-duality at the theoretical level, but I have not experienced it, therefore for me it is nothing. For me the reality is that thoughts are something, and that something can, in some way that I don't understand, stick to you, merge with your being. I have also seen that you can separate them from your being, and that bad or good thoughts are the same

Idk... how? I had I glimpse, maybe I should have 1000 more before to start to understand, but looked so real. In fact the most shocking of the glimpse was seeing that creation, like a radio creating a wave. Maybe all was an illusion, of course. Now I'm thinking like always, compulsive,but that image remains

all of us are intelligent enough. This is not an exercise in intelligence but in seeing