Breakingthewall

one of the first times I did 5 meo it was weird, not complete. My legs went numb from the calf down and I noticed great pain in my feet and hands. After hours this disappeared, but the next day I had spasms and fasciculations in the muscles of the legs, many per minute. this lasted for several days, long enough to cause me to go into paranoia of neurological damage. One night I focused on those sensations, and noticed how I could somehow release the energy. I began to do it more and more until it became an explosion, jets of energy of minutes of almost unbearable intensity, from the pelvis, feet and hands and head. after an hour of these discharges the thing stopped, and the fasciculations had completely disappeared. apart I noticed a release in some way definitive, repressed energies had been released

I am not enlightened because I do not realize that I am god creating reality, but I have removed the sticky ego, or at least, deactivated its power. It feels like there are no more questions. like blissful fullness, like I've been lost in madness for a long time and have come home, like cleanliness, alertness, direct perception. like this is normal and the other was "special". total absence of fear, abandonment, Let go of the wheel, give up control. Beauty everywhere , It seems as if an enigma, a test, has been presented to me and I have solved it, and now unlimited open space opens

step 1 understand what the ego is. the ego must understand what it is, understand its unreality and accept it. Step 2 is to get rid of your ego for at least a moment, a few minutes, and after many times, every day if it's possible. This is achieved with intensive meditation, retreats, etc. and / or psychedelics. the moment you are nailed in the present moment you see that the whole ego movie is unreal. the ego will quickly return, since it leads a life creating the illusion that it is absolutely necessary, that without it there is vertigo and imbalance, deadly emptiness, madness. When you spend a few moments with the ego deactivated, it is clear that it is not necessary, that being is knowing. later, when the ego returns, there is step 3: untangle the ego. once it has been seen what it is and has lost almost all its venom, you can proceed to clarify it, solve each dark spot, eliminate all traces of trauma, of "it should have been different." if this is not done, the ego returns and returns, and even if you know that it is unreal it catches you again and again. at this point I am, with good daily evolution, occurs spontaneously after steps 1 and 2 I think that step 4 is to live without ego, or with a custom-built minimal ego. It is possible and it is the only way to live that is not stupid

my feeling is that I am solving an enigma, and behind there is another enigma, and so on ad infinitum. The reality is that you take a step back and in a second you see the unreality of all that, but after a while the inertia slows me down, and I see myself again wasting energy in generating a story

What limits me the most is my difficulty to stop perceiving my life as a process. I know that what I am is the pure present right now, but my mind tends to create the image of a story, I am the son of, with such and such antecedents ... something that branches off infinitely. I know this is a fantasy, but my mind drifts towards that, the only antidote is hours of meditation. it is something that limits you completely, it absorbs a lot of mental energy that is wasted uselessly

ignore them. the ideas are within the mental. you meditate to separate yourself from the mental, to simply be. we have the absurd feeling that we need the mental to maintain balance, that without clinging to any idea or concept, we fall into emptiness. you meditate to realize that this is not so, emptiness is fullness and you do not fall anywhere, you are simply you, really. forget the ideas

@ALLIS If you only have 15 mg left, better vape, it is a breakthrough dose. If you plug it in, even if it works this time, it will be a very smooth effect. at least what I have noticed by plugging in 15

You will have it when you stop needing to get it and need to give it. If you need to get it you're a beggar and you only get shit

@Hello world your life is totally blocked and things are getting really difficult. you must do something. I would start with a weekly psychedelic therapy, specifically mushrooms. It can be very hard but you have to get out of that hole, face what is blocking you. what other options do you have?

Brother. Are you crazy? How is it possible that you continue working for your father? you will grieve until you die and in the next life. Cut out that situation completely right away, even if you end up starving. My father was also a narcissist and he did that so nice to mess with my physique since I was 10 years old, only that my father was a pianist and a beautiful, seductive boy, not a boss. At 19/20 I completely cut off my family, and once your personality begins to flourish, you realize the depth of the effect of that criticism. my father wanted next a dog without self-esteem that moved the tail when he wanted. This, from childhood, castrates you, and regaining your self-esteem is a very difficult task. don't make it harder for yourself by prolonging the situation. you don't really understand the depth of your dysfunction. When you get out of this, your impulse will be to beat your father to death, and then take your dick out and piss on his face. beware! you can end up full of hate. get out of there as soon as possible. Do therapy, be independent, cut any relationship with that man until you totally respect yourself

you have to untangle the enigma of your life and free yourself . an exciting game. Find passion in yourself and play it.

false krishnamurty. it makes the simple complicated, and conveys the idea that any practice aimed at awakening is useless. the important thing for him seems to be to show that only he is enlightened. narcissistic

there are no other lives because others imply a beginning and infinity has no beginning. there is only actuality. the present seems something that leads to another something, another life, an evolution, but it is not. it is actuality. It is happening now and always will be, there is no way out. there is no death, no birth, no evolution, no other lives. only the infinite void dancing. the good thing is that it is infinite and is infinitely loved

on Sunday I did mushrooms and my room lost its meaning. some things were the same as others, everything opened and was unlimited, the entire reality was my infinite room executing a dance, like a flame

the mind you speak of is the "should be", or what is the same, the desire. If you give up the desire for a while, a minute, and your mind stops at once, you will see that there is no problem. You are creating problems with your desire. there is what is, silent, meaningless but completely full. but to pause the recording before you have to understand what that recording is. it is a projection of what you think it should be, created by social interaction, by language. something completely unreal, false. Forget about love, infinity, about everything. Just silent

everything is simpler than that. have balls to stick in the present and forget the mental nonsense about what should be, and that's it ... you have it. what it is.

I really liked your report, I read it several times. I think your trip has been to free yourself from your ego and just be, without separation between you and that isn't you. but just be is wonderful. the ego is a sad jail. We have to live in silence, present, without stories. It is possible that on your next trip you will see how that present opens up to the limitless

the human being is a cosmic joke, a voracious murderous monkey that sows shit and tortures himself in every imaginable way. a very funny joke

@cypres You almost won the debate, but your opponent has resorted to the wild card: you do not exist, there is no one here.??? well, tried to contribute:. you harm yourself to: forget your horrible anxiety for a while, show yourself and others that you are brave, and I guess also because you want to feel sooooo special

@Raphael i remember you, you doubted whether to leave your mother alone with your aggressive and inconsiderate father, in a country in Africa. I hope you could have improved your situation. my father died when I was 20 and for me it is a wound. He treated my mother badly, he disqualified everyone, he messed with my physique when I was 11 years old, and all my life with anything. All was bad. he was a self-esteem eater. It makes me sick to think of him. I don't know if one day I'll be able to forget that shit. It serves as an alarm for meditation. If I decrease the practice, the disgusting snake begins to bite

Talk about your "flaws" openly. remove the shame from your life. do it every day, don't hide. say what is not easy for you to accept from yourself. On the other hand, if people get very silly, tell them the most offensive thing you can think of, without any barriers, but not inventing, something that is true, but without anger, like a joke. It is as liberating as 5meo, or more. When you start, you can't stop!

@The0Self In the end, its structure, as it is built on nothing, begins to crumble, but the fixed patterns have strength and are capable of restructuring and functioning, what happens is that they are so unpleasant compared to being free of them, that they are not tolerate. I start to see the miracle: the disappearance of that shit, really

Logically it should be the same since if it were not lsd, it would not work, or it would be completely different, but there are many experienced users who say that it is not the same

That said, there are many masturbating looking in the mirror, putting on latex clothes, moaning, even doing stunts.

you can be negative or positive. negative, looking at the pretentious who only write to wank looking in the mirror, or positive, looking at the flashes of purity, goodness, really. in this forum, and in life